Forbidden Love

[maxzar100]

She was and is my dream girl, but we can never be together. The pain of a broken heart is the worse kind. No substance can relive this pain.

I can't succeed in relationships after her; I never feel the same. Everyday I feel this pain, especially when I see another couple together in love. Nobody has loved her like I do, but I hope that someday they will. I hope that she does not think about me as much as I think about her, but I know that she does a little bit, secretly wishing that things could have worked out. Alas, great mountains built of land and emotions separate us from one another, permanently. But you can never sever the feelings.

They say that it is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all. I really can't agree with this statement. So many years later, the pain has only gotten worse if anything.

So I ask you Nexians, do you have similar situations or one situation? How can you overcome these feelings?

 

[smokerx]

Seems to me like to Love to you equals to have, to own. It sounds a bit selfish when you say nobody has loved her like you do. Really ? How would you possibly know that for sure? Then you say you wish she does not think about you. Why ? Then you say she does and hopes things worked out.

Cant you see that these are all your wishes my friend ? Stop tormenting your self. Maybe it is the time to move on and stop wishing she would come back to you. You love her and that will last for ever. She will always be in your heart and I am sure you will have a place in hers.

Now it is time to move on. Do not try to forget it just realize the fact that you two will never be together as you said your self. Make it clear to you and start living in now. The past that has already gone and the future you are creating for you and her does not exist. Live in now my friend and enjoy life. Enjoy every day you wake up and breath. The pain will disappear and finally you will be free from your mind.

I am sending you lots of love. Be strong and enjoy every minute. Think of it this way if it helps: you have lots of love to give. It does not have to be only her to receive it. Look around you there are many people longing for love and you have full heart of it so go and give it to others. If that does not heal you then I do not know what else would.

 

[○]

She was and is my dream girl, but we can never be together. The pain of a broken heart is the worse kind. No substance can relive this pain.

I can't succeed in relationships after her; I never feel the same. Everyday I feel this pain, especially when I see another couple together in love. Nobody has loved her like I do, but I hope that someday they will. I hope that she does not think about me as much as I think about her, but I know that she does a little bit, secretly wishing that things could have worked out. Alas, great mountains built of land and emotions separate us from one another, permanently. But you can never sever the feelings.

They say that it is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all. I really can't agree with this statement. So many years later, the pain has only gotten worse if anything.

So I ask you Nexians, do you have similar situations or one situation? How can you overcome these feelings?

IMO, as much as it hurts you, move forward. Surround yourself with good people, good food, good music, good activities. Meditate and learn howto slow/lessen the stream of thought/s that occupy your mind in the day to day. I have been there. It's all about what you choose to focus on. The above combined with repitition (practice makes perfect), you will beat these thoughts/feelings. These thoughts and feelings aren't the true you, but one sheath over another and so forth. If meditation has helped me understand one key thing, it's thee above....You ARE NOT your thoughts You are beyond that.

Anyways...it comes down to refocusing and repitition. Thats what saved me in afew situations such as these.

Much love!

Tat Tvam Asi

 

[Ilex]

I was in a similar situation once, feeling the same things you are. Communication is good - if you haven't expressed to her what you are truly feeling, it may be hard to move forward. If you can't express it to her, try talking to someone close that you trust. If deep down you know it is over and you want to move on, it can be done. You can consciously sever the connection. Some people do it through ceremony, or by asking help from whatever spirit guides/forces they believe in. Others just consciously state their intention of letting go.

For me, it came down to needing to love myself. I realized that you can't rely on anyone else to love you and make you happy, unless you first love yourself. That's the only way you will ever truly be happy. I was just wanting someone else to love me, and I felt I needed their love to feel full, to feel joy. It was an emotional trap I put myself in, because when that person left me I felt nothing but sorrow and emptiness.

At first it helped me to just try and accept what I was feeling without pushing the emotions away. It may seem hopeless now, but you can (and if you want to, you will) find love again. And it takes time to heal... for me, it took a few years. Psychedelics sped up the process some, but it was still a long journey. I didn't find love again until I was truly ready for it.

The way I see it, what makes a person beautiful is not just their appearance, but that inner radiance that tells you they love and accept themselves unconditionally. Once you have that, love will find you at the right time.

 

[jamie]

Learn to be your own lover. Then, you will be open to share that love you already have for yourself with another, who is(and this is key) willing to accept it. Trust me, there are other girls out there..and one will come along that you love infinitly more. I have met people that moved half way around the planet to be together. If the motivation is not there than it just is not there. It's hard but you have to move on.

Being in that situation has never been fun. It's only temporary though as long as you choose to move foreward.

I dont believe in soulmates who dont make it happen. The magic between soulmates has to come from a joint effort. If it is not there than relax..there are other opportunites out there for you to find your soulmate.

 

[DeDao]

Time. Time. Time.

 

[wearepeople]

Time. Time. Time.

:thumb_up: :thumb_up:

 

[DMTripper]

I was once madly in love with a girl that became a very good friend of mine but never a girlfriend. After I told her how I felt she slept with a friend of mine and I got very angry at both of them. I felt extremely hurt. Then she slept with another friend of mine. (Both of those guy's didn't know how I felt about her). It was very painful but I realized there was nothing I could do really. It was her life. Her choice. She wasn't mine and wasn't supposed to be. But I decided to keep on loving her. Forgive her what I thought she had done to me. She hurt me.

I didn't have much contact with her after this for some years. This was probably around 15 years ago. Today we are very good friends. We don't meet very often but when we do we have fun and we care a lot for each other. I still think she's very beautiful. (Well she sure is) But I have no interest in her other than be her friend. I've seen how we would have made a bad couple Both with very big tempers and very independent.

Today she has a husband that's a great guy. I'm very happy for her And grateful that she taught me the lesson of unconditional love.
And today I don't ever feel jealousy. That feeling just doesn't have any grip on me. I feel like that feeling doesn't exist within me but maybe it is somewhere there. I don't know, probably is but I never feel it.

You can keep on loving this girl. Just remember she's not yours to have and own. Maybe this is your chance to learn the lesson of unconditional love. It's a big lesson and extremely valuable.

 

[emptymind]

I was once madly in love with a girl that became a very good friend of mine but never a girlfriend. After I told her how I felt she slept with a friend of mine and I got very angry at both of them. I felt extremely hurt. Then she slept with another friend of mine. (Both of those guy's didn't know how I felt about her). It was very painful but I realized there was nothing I could do really. It was her life. Her choice. She wasn't mine and wasn't supposed to be. But I decided to keep on loving her. Forgive her what I thought she had done to me. She hurt me.

I didn't have much contact with her after this for some years. This was probably around 15 years ago. Today we are very good friends. We don't meet very often but when we do we have fun and we care a lot for each other. I still think she's very beautiful. (Well she sure is) But I have no interest in her other than be her friend. I've seen how we would have made a bad couple Both with very big tempers and very independent.

Today she has a husband that's a great guy. I'm very happy for her And grateful that she taught me the lesson of unconditional love.
And today I don't ever feel jealousy. That feeling just doesn't have any grip on me. I feel like that feeling doesn't exist within me but maybe it is somewhere there. I don't know, probably is but I never feel it.

You can keep on loving this girl. Just remember she's not yours to have and own. Maybe this is your chance to learn the lesson of unconditional love. It's a big lesson and extremely valuable.

There is a lot of good advice in this thread, and in some of what you say, but I also have to disagree with some of what you said. If a female friend I cared about had feelings for me and I didnt feel the same way, I certainly wouldnt sleep with one of her friends. An unrequited love is a miserable thing to go through, and even if she didnt owe you anything, I think thats a pretty low thing to do to someone you care about.

Im all for forgiveness and moving on, and its great that you have moved passed it and are now friends with her, but if it was me I would have tried to forgive her, but completely remove her from my life. There are plenty of people in the world, and I dont hold grudges, but I see no reason to keep people around that act with no regards to how their actions will affect you. Am I wrong?

 

[Jin]

So I ask you Nexians, do you have similar situations or one situation? How can you overcome these feelings?

love is kinda depressing ,

its a fact , true scientific fact

avoid love at all costs , be careful its really dangerous ,
damaging on various levels of the psyche
just be safe

 

[smokerx]

love is kinda depressing ,

its a fact , true scientific fact

avoid love at all costs , be careful its really dangerous ,
damaging on various levels of the psyche
just be safe

Is this a joke ?

 

[۩]

"The second that
I fell in love,
the anvil of
the revolver."

Love is commendable
but it must go both ways
otherwise it's just
another unhealthy attachment.

Besides, generally speaking,
women don't like needy and
obsessive guys. Turn around and
they turn toward.

How's that for a mating ritual?

 

[cosmic butterfly]

Sorry for your pain i know how it feels. First Jin i really hope thats a joke :lol: . Love is one of the most important things in the world but you need to realize that love for her is not what you need. I dont know what happened between you two but if she doesnt love you for who you are than its not meant to be plain and simple, it needs to be mutual or shouldn't be. Second dont look for love only outside of yourself, love can be found inside. This is the problem with most people they look for happyiness or love only on the outside, it is everywhere. Learn to love yourself and your surroundings than you wont need a girl to be complete you already are complete, its just your ego and conditioning tricking you to thinking your not. Try to look at the positive side in life always not to fixate on the negative. I used to say o i dont have this id rather want this this was better...no look at what you do have and what you need not what you want, which is usually your ego talking. Dont fixate on the past try to learn to live in the moment, if u learn to do this every day can be magical. Find inner peace/love and happiness and if the right girl comes along youll both know and than its meant to be. hope this helped

 

[Jin]

love is kinda depressing ,

its a fact , true scientific fact

avoid love at all costs , be careful its really dangerous ,
damaging on various levels of the psyche
just be safe

Is this a joke ?

no doubt what i say is funny yet its not a joke , i did'nt want to go in details yet i guess they are relevant

love is nothing but pain packaged and sold in a neat little candybox that looks cute ,

if you are in love you're bound to suffer ,
love leads to attachment and also unnecessary thinking
when in love priority's of life can shift from career oriented decisons to love based decisons

i have had my fair share of issues and i have chosen happiness and comfort over love , to be in bliss continuously i cannot afford woes of the heart , i like pleasure more than pain so i choose to be happy rather than in love , i've noticed love leads to a lot of pain so i personally avoid it ,

if its painful , avoid it if you can

its too difficult for me to these days fall in love with anyone since i am in so much in love with DMT ,

 

[DMTripper]

I was once madly in love with a girl that became a very good friend of mine but never a girlfriend. After I told her how I felt she slept with a friend of mine and I got very angry at both of them. I felt extremely hurt. Then she slept with another friend of mine. (Both of those guy's didn't know how I felt about her). It was very painful but I realized there was nothing I could do really. It was her life. Her choice. She wasn't mine and wasn't supposed to be. But I decided to keep on loving her. Forgive her what I thought she had done to me. She hurt me.

I didn't have much contact with her after this for some years. This was probably around 15 years ago. Today we are very good friends. We don't meet very often but when we do we have fun and we care a lot for each other. I still think she's very beautiful. (Well she sure is) But I have no interest in her other than be her friend. I've seen how we would have made a bad couple Both with very big tempers and very independent.

Today she has a husband that's a great guy. I'm very happy for her And grateful that she taught me the lesson of unconditional love.
And today I don't ever feel jealousy. That feeling just doesn't have any grip on me. I feel like that feeling doesn't exist within me but maybe it is somewhere there. I don't know, probably is but I never feel it.

You can keep on loving this girl. Just remember she's not yours to have and own. Maybe this is your chance to learn the lesson of unconditional love. It's a big lesson and extremely valuable.

There is a lot of good advice in this thread, and in some of what you say, but I also have to disagree with some of what you said. If a female friend I cared about had feelings for me and I didnt feel the same way, I certainly wouldnt sleep with one of her friends. An unrequited love is a miserable thing to go through, and even if she didnt owe you anything, I think thats a pretty low thing to do to someone you care about.

Im all for forgiveness and moving on, and its great that you have moved passed it and are now friends with her, but if it was me I would have tried to forgive her, but completely remove her from my life. There are plenty of people in the world, and I dont hold grudges, but I see no reason to keep people around that act with no regards to how their actions will affect you. Am I wrong?

Well I didn't go into too much detail. And yes I was hurt and didn't talk to her for a long time. But had known each other for many years before this happened. And like I said I there were several years until we became friends again and that's because I could see how she had changed. And now we only meet maybe 2-3 times a year. Everyone deserves a second chance. She was around 18 when this happened and I around 22-23. We were both very lost and using a lot of drugs. Just very fucked up.

She's a good person but this was in a time in our lives where people tend to make mistakes. If this was just how she is, we wouldn't be friends today.

 

[Parshvik Chintan]

love is nothing but pain packaged and sold in a neat little candybox that looks cute

i am quite sure you have less than a cursory knowledge of love.

hurt by something disguised as love, it sounds.

 

[hug46]

They say that it is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all.

/quote]

It is better to have loved and lost, although sometimes it doesn"t seem that way. Forbidden love, unrequited love, the love that dare not speak its name, unconditional love are all part of life and sometimes life can be difficult and challenging in ways we are unprepared for. I split with my first girlfriend and i was in bits. I thought i"d never find another like her. She had a sense of humour, a motorcycle licence, a decent set of pins and a good moral compass to boot.
I asked a friend at the time how the hell will i ever get over this emotional calamity and he explained that its just a preparation for the next time that it happens. For some reason this gave me strength.
Its life , and you should try to be happy that you are experiencing these (sometimes crippling) emotions that so many people write and sing about.
If its been that long and you still ain"t over her, write her a nice letter, not to win her back but to get things off of your chest (if you havent already). Learn from your misery.
There really are loads more fish in the sea, take it from me, i"ve fallen for someone i didn"t even like to begin with, that"s the way it is sometimes.

Here is a song off of one of my favourite albums to make you feel better (or maybe it"ll make you feel worse), it got me thru a bit of teenage angst

[YOUTUBE]