Goodbye Nexus & Final Reflections

[Prima Materia]

@northape

I myself have come to a place in my life that certain decisions major decisions had to be taken. It's not light but it's liberating and paving a new way for me. It has nothing to do with dmt-nexus for me however. Therefore I can very much relate to you and I totally support you in moving on whatever your interpretation of that is and whatever activities, changes and importantces you're implementing to your life.

There's no doubt about the quality and quantity of your contribution to this community and I want to thank you deeply for that as this community is one of the best things that happened to me therefore whoever nurtures it has a very special place in my heart. Do come around here sometime and give us a report on what's happening in your life and an chance to chat with you a bit.

I may come through as a bit coldish and distant in my writting but do understand that there is only warmth and support felt here on this side of the spectrum.

Good Luck and Namaste!

 

[Toadster]

I'm not fully free and need to take care of my elderly mom. It's a whole other story. She tried for two years to set me free, but in the end we're moving together.
We'll travel to India for a few months and then we will head to South America. Which country will be our home is yet to be decided. Thank you for sharing your story.
It's all motivational at this point. I've faith that there is a life beyond my little purgatory. I'm like a frozen river that desperately wishes to flow again.

You have done it before, moving from Belarus to Sweden, and you'll do it again.
I wish you all the wisdom and strength needed for your journey and where ever the path may lead you.

Life is not what you plan, it's what happens along the way.

Not meaning you shouldn't have plans or dreams, but they shouldn't be pored in concrete.
Meaning adaptation and creativity are needed to be free, otherwise you'll be stuck chasing dreams.

All the best, good luck, and if you ever need stupid motivational quotes or stories of hilarious failures than just send me a dm.
Please keep us posted on your experiences.

 

[dreamer042]

@northape

I've really enjoyed all your contributions and posts here. Thank you for all the kindness and wisdom you have shared. See ya around.

 

[EmeraldAtomiser]

@northape
That news makes me both happy and sad.
Great to hear you have some clarity and a new direction from it.
It's been great having you around, and all the best for your next chapter.
Journey well, my friend.
Om Namah Shivaya

 

[northape]

This week came and went pretty fast, although at times it felt unending. Even now, I already feel the loneliness and disconnection I wished for. That was my intention, so all is well. I'll let myself be with these feelings and use them to move forward.

Thank you everyone for your warm wishes and encouragement. I feel how much this community really supported me and played such a big role in helping me remain sane. I've checked Nexus more times than necessary during the week, and it's time to go silent for a while...

I was planning to write a whole wall of text about Nexus and more reflections on my path, but in the end it all felt kind of forced. We need to talk from the Heart or remain silent. If anyone saw something of value in my writings, I'll remind you that what you saw already lives in you. I was just a hollow bamboo singing songs not of my creation. Many times I'd reread my posts and think, "Who wrote it?" I could not find the person who thinks that way in myself. So I shift all of the authority to the divine, speaking through the filter known as @northape. We say and do what life demands of us. I hope my little contribution was sincere enough.

In my last ceremony near Shivaratri, I was listening to the Arunachala chant and the words "loving peace" came into my mind. I reflected on them for a while, wondering about the wording. It was not "loving kindness," as in the well-known Buddhist meditation, or "loving awareness," as in the favorite mantra of Ram Dass. I think both kindness and awareness still assume a doer who is kind or aware. Peace, on the other hand, points toward the state where the doer dissolves. This state is filled with love, which like sunlight permeates it - peace sunlit with love. These two are in no way separate, and there is nobody who experiences it.

May we come to know the loving peace of our own Hearts

oṃ shāntiḥ shāntiḥ shāntiḥ

 

[EmeraldAtomiser]

peace sunlit with love.

I'll drink to that.
Ommmmmm

 

[Jamie01]

You are one of my favourite members here northape. I will miss your posts but the world out there is more interesting than the internet so I wish you well on your journey and hope only the best comes your way.

 

[ommani]

You are one of my favourite members here northape. I will miss your posts but the world out there is more interesting than the internet so I wish you well on your journey and hope only the best comes your way.

I share this sentiment, and am feeling stoked on your behalf with regard to your upcoming pilgrimage to India, knowing of your connection to the spirit of that land, and subsequent move to the warmer climate of South America, knowing of your experience with the Nordic cold, and connection to Amazonian plants.

 

[Prima Materia]

Om Shri RAmanaya Namah!