Hard to trust the entity... Any advice

[BerryBoi]

TL,DR:
Keeps seeing entities that look untrustworthy. Feels like they are up to no good. Hard to let go and trust. Unsure weather it's a test or a warning.



Hey Internet,

So my imaginary friend Zero, has been experimenting with DMT lately.
He is a beginner with the molecule and has done it 3 times total in the last 3 weeks (once a week on weekends).
He has a fair bit of experience with other triptamines (Acid, and Mushrooms). He has also had a few experiences with Salvia.

The first time he did it, he was with his brother Zakari.
Zakari brought the spice over to Zeros flat and helped him load it up into a Machine smoking device. They had been planning this moment and Zero had fabricated it for the occasion.

Zero was pretty scared/ excited going into the experience. He took the time to prepare the setting and lit some of his favourite incense. He meditated and likened the experience to jumping off a cliff into water, something he loves doing.
When he felt sufficiently prepared, he sat on his bed with Zakari next to him holding the torch lighter.
He took 3 puffs of smoke which he held for as long as possible.
On the 3rd puff he left his body.

The experience was intense, he tried to relax into it but found it difficult to enjoy.
There was entity contact, he found himself in a world of geometric patterns and cartoon like images. A small alien type being was showing him stuff. Using arrows and pictures to communicate.
Zero tried to let go and let it happen. It felt very forceful.
He came out of the experience feeling a little shaken.

The second time he did it the next week, he was alone.
This time he did a lower dose and didn't breakthrough, it was more manageable for him. Closed eye visuals. Still not especially enjoyable though.

The 3rd time was this weekend, alone again.
He set up his room how he likes it, got ready mentally.
He wanted to manage to accept the experience more, as he felt like that was his lesson to learn from his previous experiences.
He meditated on the thought of accepting and loving, then, when he felt ready, he sat up and took 2 drags on his machine.

He felt himself crossing over.
There he was again! Same geometric patterns. Same little alien being. Almost comical, eyes on stalks like a snail. Cheeky grin.

A real feeling of distrust! Like it was up to no good, fiddling around in his brain. "How can I trust this? Its clearly a trick" he thought. He felt like he was being victim to some kind of intergalactic scam artist. Coming into his reality to trick him.
Like a trapdoor into his reality opening, this being coming in, rummaging around, taking stuff, then leaving.

When he talked to Zakari about this, his brother said that he needed to trust it. Zakari said he has very enjoyable experiences full of love and care.
Zero doesn't see how he can trust...
He feels like it's too one sided, like:
"Give me your entire reality and 'soul', and I'll give you....."
He compared it to an alien holding his brain in it's hand and saying "trust me", whilst laughing hysterically.
Zero feels like it would be easier to trust if he knew what the entitie's intentions were.

Zero has decided to not smoke any DMT for 1 month to allow some time. He is frustrated at these experiences as he is not sure what to do. He feels like he doesn't trust the molecule and he doesn't understand how others can. The representations he experiences in his mind are very untrustworthy looking. (Almost devilish, like a cheeky scammer).

He is looking for outside opinions from more experienced users.

On his behalf I thank you in advance for your thoughts!

Love to you on your path!

 

[Tomtegubbe]

Sounds like the entity is making fun of you to teach you a lesson. You have to learn to retain your autonomy. Further down there will be entities that will fool you if you don't learn it here.

 

[Dirty T]

You can learn a lot about a person from their 'name'. While the name Zero may sound cool to some the meaning of 'Zero' is - less than whole, empty, depleted, nothing, void.... It is an extremely very negative moniker. I knew a guy named Zero once upon a time, the guy thought it was the coolest name, it wasn't. They called him zero because he didn't belong, was an outsider and not part of 'them'. The guy pushed the limits to be accepted and ended up murdering a child in his sleep on his parents couch then fleeing to Mexico. He is in the penitentiary serving a life sentence.

I tell this story because your friend sounds to be accepting of this very negative name. Maybe his distrust in this entity is an extension of his poor self image and self esteem. I have personally encountered various entities I would 'not trust' but their very appearance always had dark and sinister tones and behavior reflected their appearance. At the end of my last trip I had my right eye removed by a machine elf to show me what it looked like (painlessly btw) then was ejected. It was a strange experience. I'm not inclined to suggest one way or another whether or not your friend should trust this recurring and obviously interested entity. I would suggest some soul searching as to why the name Zero was chosen and how that affects them and what kind of impact that has made on their actions and attitude.

 

[Infectedstyle]

"Dirty" T . the name Zero seems to be an alias only used on this forum to avoid unwanted Popo attention, perhaps Zero entails no-one. The Mayans have a deity for 'zero'.

Look at what you are looking at. The alien sounds benign in its actions and comical look. Its grin might signify a capacity to evil. But its a joker. so it probably does so for kicks and fun.

You are right not trusting anything on face value. There must be more entities out there and giving power away is scary. I've had a 50 eyed scary BEAST made intentions clear it wanted to channel through me (since i'm apparently easy to channel to due to my open trust). To this day I regret that I didn't let it do so.

Anyway, another piece of advice, talk to them. Anytime I talk with anything on DMT it replies very very thoroughly and satisfactory. But the consequences of what you do in hyperspace has effect.

 

[downwardsfromzero]

You can learn a lot about a person from their 'name'. While the name Zero may sound cool to some the meaning of 'Zero' is - less than whole, empty, depleted, nothing, void.... It is an extremely very negative moniker. I knew a guy named Zero once upon a time, the guy thought it was the coolest name, it wasn't. They called him zero because he didn't belong, was an outsider and not part of 'them'. The guy pushed the limits to be accepted and ended up murdering a child in his sleep on his parents couch then fleeing to Mexico. He is in the penitentiary serving a life sentence.

I tell this story because your friend sounds to be accepting of this very negative name. Maybe his distrust in this entity is an extension of his poor self image and self esteem. I have personally encountered various entities I would 'not trust' but their very appearance always had dark and sinister tones and behavior reflected their appearance. At the end of my last trip I had my right eye removed by a machine elf to show me what it looked like (painlessly btw) then was ejected. It was a strange experience. I'm not inclined to suggest one way or another whether or not your friend should trust this recurring and obviously interested entity. I would suggest some soul searching as to why the name Zero was chosen and how that affects them and what kind of impact that has made on their actions and attitude.

OH RLY? :?: :x I wonder what null24 thinks of this. :lol:

Outside of onomatopoeia, any link between a particular phoneme or group of phonemes and a concept or group of concepts is purely arbitrary and determined by the local culture, where we still find the cognitive mappings for the things being expressed vary between individuals, sometimes drastically.

Fun fact: most of the members on this site whose name contains the string "zero" have zero posts, except for the member zero who has the greatest number of posts of any of us zero types besides myself.

OP, skepticism is healthy in all this - just ask Voidmatrix.


(Nice to see you here again, Infectedstyle )

 

[Voidmatrix]

Rather than give any hard-line answers, let's work on exploring this.

Bear in mind, none of us really knows how much of this is a byproduct of our own minds and how much of it is actually external to ourselves and how much is an amalgam of the two.

Hypothetical 1: Say what you've encountered is external to you.
What could this entity possibly have to offer you that there is a necessary exchange for, outside of your presence in the space? Is it worth whatever you feel you'll be giving up? How would you personally justify such an exchange? What would you do if this exchange turned out to be something other than what you were expecting and is of a detriment to you? Do you really feel that anything worth having in that space is worth giving up something other than maybe the need to purge in one format or another? Do you think you could request more from the entity to show you more of its intention?

Hypothetical 2: It's all in your own mind.
What part of your psyche could this be manifesting from? What is it that you could be trying to tell yourself? Do you have trust issues with yourself or others (and if so, why)? What is it that you may be trying to give and allow yourself? Are you questioning your own motivations in engaging with DMT? Have you not really thought that hard about them possibly? Is it a dynamic part of you that you're interacting with that you normally suppress, hinder, neglect or ignore?

Hypothetical 3: It's a mix of an external realm as well as your own mind.
What could the entity be seeing in you that you may not be seeing in yourself? Is this particular entity arising as a mirror of sorts, like in a house of mirrors with some distorted, showing you a different perspective of yourself? Is there anything you are neglecting that this entity notices and would like to take advantage of because they feel you take it for granted?

I think it's of the utmost benefit to you that you are taking time away. That time, and the reflection you perform about your experiences in that time is called integration, and it's a very very important aspect and exercise that will help you continue on a psychedelic path. Whatever it is we touch in that space is removed from our everyday existence, and as such, takes a different parameter of thought to make sense of and assimilate into our state of being. There are some instances where very little integration is needed. Other times, like now potentially, for instance, takes a lot more work and effort and time.

And it's in the nature of the molecule to not always be "enjoyable," whatever you may define that as. The more one transcends traditional modes of thought and is able to be more receptive, the more "enjoyable" it can become, because one has widened the breadth of what they find enjoyable and value in.

My personal stance, which is rather complicated and intense (a lot to keep in mind) is skepticism, but very particular realms of skepticism: suspending judgement and phenomenological skepticism (not saying other modes of skepticism aren't also employed). With suspending judgement, I keep in mind the enigmatic and the removed-from-"normal"-reality nature, and in doing so, withhold any usual, and particularly, binary modes of judgments that we are conditioned to make normally; ie, avoiding dichotomies of "that's good," or "that's bad," etc. Instead, I make subjective inner statements that I then explore, such as "that makes me uncomfortable," or "that scares me," followed by an exploration of those feelings. With phenomenological skepticism there's two parts: admit that I don't know, shed preconceived notions, and jump in to see what happens (with the experience and myself). Second, commit to considering all possibilities, simultaneously, regardless of how contradictory they may be in juxtaposition to each other. Using the above as the example, I entertain it all being in my head, it being external to me, and it being a mix of the two, all at the same time (as well as some other things that I won't get into here). It helps to be able to think in paradoxes with this. It can be a lot, but this methodology has taught me an insurmountable degree and allows me to traverse the space and interact with entities in a balanced way.

Be well

One love