Hello from the PNW, USA

[belax]

Hello everyone.

I am an early 40's, female, consider myself a safe person.

have visited here as a guest some years ago and have been around off and on (mostly lurking) on the shroomery for a decadeish, but just recently I have decided to join here, as I'm curious about the complete content of these forums and know it must be a great community containing much insight and knowledge with there being a vetting process to become fully involved.

Am typically a quiet, reclusive person and don't really post much in forums or on social media, but very much appreciate all of you who do.

I have been curious about DMT for many years, but just recently have had my first experiences with it and I now am wanting to learn about extraction techniques, science, and read more anecdotal reports.

Psychedelics have helped me tremendously in my life mentally, emotionally, and physically, where nothing else worked - and I have tried a lot through the years. Very large doses of psilocybin seasonally is pretty much what got me through my 20's and well into my 30's with some semblance of stability and continual growth/healing.

Some other interests of mine are meditation, dream yoga, amateur mycology, gardening, tibetan buddhism, & psychology. Something I'd like to become a more serious interest of mine is strength training.

I recently suffered a huge loss in my life, a very tragic one with no real closure or goodbye, and have been dealing with acute PTSD and trying to figure out how to move onward with a huge part of my former life now missing and trauma coloring every part of my experiences.

I'd like to share what has been helping me through this, some of you might find this interesting...

My best friend of 20 years is amazing. She found a ketamine IV infusion clinic right after the loss, got me in for a series of infusions within a few days, and it literally stopped my SI instantly. Also treatment resistant depression, anxiety, CPTSD - longstanding chronic - were all lifted in my first infusion treatment. It was incredible. The ketamine infusions also have helped tremendously with the PTSD and grief from the recent loss, getting my chronic struggles under control and easing that burden has made me able to experience contentment even in the midst of sorrow and grief that I hadn't even realized I couldn't access for many years.

I have an actual prescription for compounded ketamine now that I take every other day/as needed (nowhere near as effective as IV infusions, but helping tremendously - acts as a fast acting antidepressant & immediate state changer if I sink into negative states) and can receive booster IV infusions as needed (and when I can afford them).

The infusion series was expensive - but truly one of the best investments I've ever made.
I share this because ketamine infusions have been so healing and transformative for me, I just wish and hope so much that others who are struggling deeply with mental health and addiction can find out about and access this treatment and experience the benefits.

If anyone has questions about my ketamine infusion experience please feel free to ask. Off label use of ketamine needs to explode and become common knowledge and more easily accessible.

Hope you all are doing well. It's nice to be here.

 

[Jees]

Welcome, yes it's a wild place this planet earth, rollercoasters here and there, contradictions galore, I try to float and make my own pretty little waves on the deep sea of existence I have no clue of. Greetings from one little boat to yours

 

[Tony6Strings]

Hi neighbor. Welcome to the Nexus.

 

[Voidmatrix]

Welcome to the Nexus

While I haven't done it myself (though many people recommend it to me pretty often), I have heard and read a great deal about the healing and therapeutic benefits of ketamine treatments. I just haven't had it come across my path (whereas DMT kind of thrust itself into my life), nor had spare funds on hand. Can you describe your experiences?

And while we're talking about sharing experiences, what was your first time with DMT like?

I too love mushrooms! I need to work with them more often (in other words, I need to set the time aside). Mushrooms were my first real psychedelic. 7g and Avatar in 3D... It was one of the most memorable experiences of my life.

Feel free to PM me for strength training tips or pointers. I used to be a personal trainer and still am a bit of a gym rat. It's a lifestyle.

It's a pleasure to meet you. Looking forward to seeing and interacting with you in the forum.

One love

 

[belax]

Thank you for the greets and welcome, all.
And thanks for your engagement and questions, Voidmatrix.

7g + Avatar must have been fantastic! Such a visually stunning movie with strong themes.

I am a big fan of doses in that range. Not needed very often at all, but extremely therapeutic with long lasting positive benefits for me when I do go there with them.

I may just take you up on the offer to message for strength training tips. Thanks so much. I struggle with consistency and sedentaryness, but have had increasing energy and concentration lately and this is something I truly do want to pursue to fill holes in my life.

Warning as I answer your questions - I am wordy.

I'll begin by sharing that I had tried ketamine recreationally on a few occasions many years ago and it was a medicine that strongly benefited and resonated with me. It was just not something I had easy access to, and I hadn't made efforts to obtain more or kept up on the latest research and off label use findings.

The day of my loss in November I knew right away I was in trouble and asked my friend to come be with me. She recognized the severity of crisis and ketamine just came to her as something that could help. She found a local clinic that had just opened earlier this year. She stayed with me for several days until I was stable & took me to/from my first two infusions.

The nurse anesthesiologist administering my infusions knew I was comfortable in altered states and I think he began my infusion dose on the higher end compared to what less experienced folks typically receive at the beginning. I had 6 infusions over a period of 12 days and the dose was increased each time. The duration was increased in my 4th-6th infusions (from 40 to 50 minutes).

Like I said, the relief was instant in 1st infusion, which was a mild experience overall - SI disappeared, social & generalized anxiety gone, the long-term depression lifted. The inner experiences during first two infusions were very relaxing. I went into my first 2 infusions in a really rough state with zero expectations of relief. I was too shocked and grief stricken to give a damn.

I have aphantasia, so there were no real visuals. Just conceptualizations of entering and existing within a spacious void where my thoughts and emotions continued but were separated enough from my awareness that I could choose whether to and how deeply to engage with them. All of my infusions induced awareness of participating in a big picture that I could clearly sense and understand from both subjective and objective places. I asked questions in regards to the state and location of the consciousness of the being I'd just lost, and while I didn't receive direct answers I can translate, I did receive comfort, acceptance, and an overall sense that everything was going to be ok.

All of the ketamine infusions ended with this deep and comforting sense of okayness and comfort in knowing that all of the confusion and complication we find ourselves in on this planet will eventually come to a peaceful and balanced end.

My 3rd infusion (and onward) went deep.

I have been studying and practicing meditation seriously for about 16 years, though my practice has waned a lot in the last 5ish years. I used to attend retreats, read & listen to lectures constantly for so many years.. I tried and worked so hard to put intellectual knowledge into actual practice, but could only catch glimpses of actual real meditative states.

My 3rd infusion though sent me into a state where all of my studies and practice attempts through the years effortlessly appeared as experience and comprehension. Awareness harnessing and breathing techniques I hadn't even thought about for years were suddenly available and I was just naturally doing them to navigate an endless and beautiful emptiness that was ironically also full of everything that has ever existed. I still had my everyday thoughts and enotions, my ego was in tact, but the ability to be completely and comfortably separate from it allowed me to conceptually travel space in all directions. Time sort of turned into shifting sand and was a useless thing to try and keep track of. I knew I was in samadhi, and it was sustained. I wasn't attached to it egoically so it was very stable. I could see the illusion in certain levels/jhanas and hold onto one pointed awareness while watching my mind still continue to have its thoughts. I sensed and merged with the presence of so many beings, known and unknown, in the vast empty space of samadhi.

In later infusions I had experiences and comprehensions in that state of samadhi that let me see a reality of karma, the complete moral neutrality of karma, of it being nothing more than a balancer, a cosmic credit that is created, just exists and changes based on action and thought like a bank account changes when we spend and deposit currency, the capacity of more enlightened beings to perceive the karma of individuals in such a simple and judgment free, matter of fact way. It is something that informed me deeply and I will continue to digest for the rest of this life.

Using mantras to anchor awareness, invoking dieties to assist with mindfulness and healing, and fully trusting - not trying to control the experiences - were all very helpful in my later infusions, especially 4-6, after the ketamine had worked on stretching out and activating my brain, settling down all of the typical ailments that get in the way, cause suffering, and activate my ego.

Many other ideas and comprehensions came to me through the infusions also and continue to integrate within me nearly a month after my last IV infusion.

Interestingly - the infusions just pushed me effortlessly into healthier habits in my day to day life. I stopped eating processed foods, can't handle too much salt or sugar anymore. Can't handle too much caffiene (used to drink 3-4 cups of strong coffee a day and now I only dare to try about one cup a week because I like the flavor and usually regret it right away). I started drinking so much water. Intermittent fasting.. it's crazy - I have done all these things in the past attempting to live healthier but had fallen back into unhealthy patterns esp during pandemic and didn't have the will on my own to make so many healthy changes at once.
I started doing more physical activity, body weight movement, yoga, hooping...

I stopped using marijuana after being a heavy user for the past several years, like morning to night (I SO did not expect or even want this side effect - it just does absolutely nothing for me anymore and the 3 times I have used marijuana since late November I've regretted it right away each time, found it irritating and in the way. I am more stable in contentment without it)

I stopped using media to numb out. Started meditating & focusing on dream yoga again.

There's even more, but this post is getting long...
I started saying yes to life again.

The prescribed compounded ketamine I have is in flavored troche form for sublingual absorption, but I quickly realized it is much more bioavailable and convenient when boofed, so I'm gonna ask for suppositories when I get a refill. I'm taking 200mg about every other day and while nowhere close to IV level experience, it gives me a mild dissociative experience for a couple of hours and resets my inner state, relieves depression and acute PTSD symptoms super fast. The CRNA who did my infusions & prescription is truly trying to help people, not in it strictly for the money, so prescribed for at home use based on how well I responded to the infusions to try and help me space boosters out as much as possible and save me some $. Gotta admit, it was a super fucking cool feeling to walk out of a pharmacy with legally obtained ketamine with my name and address on it.

I do worry about building tolerance and psychological dependency, but I have been doing better than I have in years, better than I could even imagine pre infusion series - I'd practically given up - so I am taking the wins and trying to use this medicinal assistance as best I can to improve myself.


That was very long, if you're still here reading - thanks for sticking around to hear my ketamine experience descriptions.

Now, onward to my equally wordy description of introduction(s) to DMT.

I might be considered an elder to many in these forums, but I am young at heart and in mind and I thoroughly enjoy playing PC minecraft. My (young adult) kid and I were binging on minecraft several nights a week and I started putting on Terence Mckenna lectures while we played about 6 months ago. Listening to him speak made me wonder why I had not yet had a proper introduction to DMT. I had been given some like 15 years ago but lost it.

My bff and I are enthusiastic and bold psychonauts with lots of shared experiences and decades of close friendship, so I brought up with her the idea to explore DMT and get it on our radar. We've been talking about it, researching, etc.. but we are hermit-like recluses and not as dialed in to social circles where certain molecules can be easily obtained these days. A few weeks ago she was able to obtain a vape cartridge and I just happened to be visiting her when it showed up, so we took turns and reported each others experiences back to each other.

She went first and had an extremely mild experience. Disappointing She's under a lot of stress in life right now and has a benzo script and she also smokes a hecka lot of weed, so we figured maybe the benzos probably dampened her ability to experience much.

I went off for my turn with the vape pen, took several seemingly large pulls and held for a ridiculously long time. I did not experience breakthrough, but was given a wonderfully warm welcome and encouragement to visit again.

I sat on her bed looking out a window into the forest showing a view of large trees with bare, stretching branches. The branches began to dramatically communicate via sway and dance, the veil between realms lifting and showing me the movement of nature that always exists but remains mostly stationary in typical awareness. Light patterns and structures began to form, overlaying the forest, room I was within, and constantly shifting and building, creating.
I lay back on the bed and just observed the OEV, then closed my eyes and was greeted by a giant benevolent frog-like entity. I opened my eyes and it was still there, apparently very warm and pleased that I could perceive it, strong welcome vibes. Laying down and relaxing into the experience, I felt a pressure on my chest and back, squeezing like an invisible but strong hug. The OEVs & CEVs were moderate, and other presences started to sort of show off, demonstrating how they could create with strings of light in this space between realms, manifesting into hand-like apparitions and waving me inward to their space, wanting me to enter and to show me what is possible, what they are able to create there. The frog-like greeter stayed present the whole time, visually and energetically, until the effects wore off and I excitedly went to report my experience to my friend.

It was a mild intro, but very positive and I felt truly welcomed. We had other things to do so I didn't try again, but was given a very memorable and gentle introduction.

My friend has spent time with the vape pen since but similarly just extremely mild experiences. We decided the vape concentrate is nice, but not the experience we are seeking and so here I am at the nexus to learn.

I had a chance to try DMT again in stronger form at another friends house last week. I had taken a drop of some lovely LSD 7 hours earlier and the DMT form was much more potent - resulting in a very strong experience, but again no breakthrough. Extremely vivid, obvious, strong experience of being offered lessons in astral projection and dream yoga. I actually think that I could have had a breakthrough and received this lesson in full, but did not feel totally at ease in the space and with the company I was in, so I anchored consciousness and held myself back and boy did some entities decide to have fun with me as a result of that decision. Total Loki vibes and manifestations for 3 hours straight. The frog-like greeter entity reappeared several times and I am looking forward to meeting them more officially in the near future when better prepared, in proper and clear space and company with greater ability to surrender and receive.

 

[Voidmatrix]

Well thank you for sharing.

You'd probably be surprised by the age ranges on here

You certainly give a wonderful sounding appeal to ketamine. Are you still on your prescribed regimen? Do you intend on doing infusions again? It's very interesting how these kinds of therapeutic experiences sort of induce a change of behavior in a healthier direction. Granted, that is kind of predicated on intent as well.

It does sound like a very beautiful introduction to DMT. There's so much in hyperspace, as well as within us, that it always has something new to show.

Thank you again for sharing in such detail. It's kind of like candy

One love

 

[belax]

Hi Voidmatrix. Yes, I am still on the prescribed ketamine and take 200mg every other day. I've built a bit of tolerance, so it is usually a mild experience, but still extremely helpful.

I have had some backslide in healthy habits & increase in PTSD symptoms these past weeks so have a booster infusion scheduled for next Wednesday. I'm REALLY looking forward to it. The infusions are 100% bioavailable and a totally different experience and after effects than the troches I take at home to stretch out time between booster infusions. (they're really expensive :| )

Meanwhile though I have been reading up a lot here lately and have completed my first extraction following Cyb's hybrid ATB salt tek with some success. So satisfying! Unfortunately I don't have a sensitive mg scale yet to measure yield, but I am really happy with it.

I've also started a batch I'll be freezing tonight to follow Cyb's max ion tek for my next extraction attempt and I'm really enjoying learning and developing new skills.

I have come across some really helpful posts by you while studying tek related threads and want to say many thanks to you for your well worded contributions and presence around here.

I have tried DMT two more times since I last posted in this thread. I still have not had a breakthrough experience but am ok with that and feel good about getting acquainted slowly.
I am planning on building a machine in the next week or so, gotta get the right drill bit.

I will share with you, and anyone else who might browse this thread (hi!).

Last night, after some research around here during the day, I carefully prepared a sandwich style bowl with mullein but wasn't feeling like I was in the right inner space so I set it aside and took 200mg of ketamine to help shift my state.

After the ketamine effects diminished quite a lot and I was feeling much better I decided to go for it and managed to ignite the sandwich bowl just right, finally.

What happened as a result of the ketamine and DMT combination was the most peculiar unfoldment of perception I have ever experienced in my life, and I have seen and done some really weird stuff.

There was this sudden and extremely smooth appearance of an additional realm, dimension, layer of space. The visuals were wildly different than the previous DMT introductions I have had. Nothing like the "traditional" artwork, colors, patterns... It was highly technological, wild machine-like, silicone, latex, advanced LED like lighting. The space was dark, nowhere near as much color as I've experienced on previous DMT encounters, and while I didn't perceive specific entities I was definitely not alone in this space. Closed eyes placed me in a movie of sorts, or some sort of event happening, a mechanical but conscious event. An unfoldment of this advanced silicone/latex like machine in action and I was involved - but I could not figure out what the machine was doing, what its purpose was. Like, incomprehensible, beyond anything I have ever conceptualized or seen presented on earth by artists, engineers, earthly human creators.

After the most intense part of the experience, with open eyes I could see and sense the silicone-like substance squeezing its way between light that was present in the room I was in, and my mind was absolutely silent, just observing, breathing seemed to be optional and incredibly smooth, then for about 10 minutes I experienced very strong vibrations in my body, mainly sacrum and legs, like wild chakra spinning and muscle twitching. Have never experienced anything like it before.

It was absolutely freaky and fascinating. Like opening a book on a subject I have never heard of before that is not of this world.

Maybe these are common themes in others DMT experiences, but I have intentionally avoided reading a lot of anecdotal reports for now so that my experiences unfold more organically without a ton of outer impressions or expectations.

I feel like the lingering ketamine really changed the nature of the DMT. Definitely going to do some more research in this area as it feels right.

 

[null24]

Wow, thank you for the detailed introduction. That you are in the PNW pulled me in, your story kept me reading. I wanted to welcome you as a fellow PNW resident, so welcome. I have been in OR since 1990. Reading you experiences, there are a few things that I connect with. I think you can add a lot here, seeking wellness through the darkness life puts in our path is a commanility around here. You sound like you have been able to get a lot from your k infusions that you've been able to bring out of your experiences into your life. There are a lot of different paths people follow, and adding your journey to the collection of info serves the purpose of increasing options for people looking for them. There aren't too many K reports in clinical settings here to my knowledge?

 

[Bill Cipher]

Greetings, belax. That was a very compelling read. I'm glad you've found a useful tool in ketamine. I have not experienced it myself.

You've definitely come to the right place, and I expect you'll find all kinds of common ground here. This is a community of very genuine folks and earnestly intrepid explorers.

Welcome!

 

[compulsimple]

Hi Belax! Coffee has many benefits to it.

I wouldn't be so regretful of a little coffee habit since it is associated with lowered risk of many diseases like cardiovascular disease. I love it, with passion.

Interestingly - the infusions just pushed me effortlessly into healthier habits in my day to day life. I stopped eating processed foods, can't handle too much salt or sugar anymore. Can't handle too much caffiene (used to drink 3-4 cups of strong coffee a day and now I only dare to try about one cup a week because I like the flavor and usually regret it right away).

I'm assuming that coffee may have some interaction with ketamine. Something I know little about.
I think no matter what that I hope you accept yourself in best judgement and compulsion alike. People make plenty of good decisions and bad decisions.

I almost sense a theme of over assessing your behaviors? idk, I'm actually asking if thats something that you do, too? I don't know if this helps out but I too have a great deal of self-conscious assessment about trying to achieve good health. I have resolved toward accepting loss; both of people that I love and things that I love. I'm an unspiritual atheist and I've had bulimia stints here and there and negative things in my life; complicated things that aren't simple or that I cannot "just up, and explain."

All I think I'd be helpful with is, if you need a good book I have a few great recommends lol

I also wanted to throw it out there that I kind of think that the way that we talk to each other has the best impact in all cases. We're social beings and a social species. Good communication can save a life in the every day and in my experience through life having a good friend to talk to is what creates stability like that. It's a kind of drive such as thirst, hunger, respite, love, and sleep

The bad experiences, such as the bulimia stints were because someone had communicated with me poorly. The four apocalyptic horsemen of a relationship are criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and worst of all contempt

[hope that you don't mind, i'll get poetic first and then satirical]
I resolve as a rule of thumb simply: not to give into resentment and the four apocalyptic horsemen of tormenting the self and your partner. It's about love and respect, life itself whether in solitude or whether in community you should always remind yourself to be kind to whoever it is. You can beat yourself up as a human being from time to time because we're so smart that we manage to transcend into beating ourselves up emotionally over this or that and for years.

Be kind to yourself most of all, front and center, unabashedly, without even apology. And follow suit towing that weighted joy and bashing into other's your stable words and world's hope. Dragging your peace through the street into the hospital of sentiment and making certain that your insurance card covers communications that don't involve contempt. Being indebt for contempt is being robbed blind with a furious and enraging copay

Sorry, went into poetry lol I will do that sometime... Let me or don't let me get started on expensive healthcare.... :x :? :thumb_dow :!: :| :?:

- your debt is someone else's asset by astra taylor

The watercolors are pretty but also it fits in with the sentiment of having to pay an expensive bill while living in the U.S. while resolving with a good bit of something to hope over as opposed to despair upon

Not relevant but if you are interested, I have a documentary about poverty in the U.S.

Sometime I take a break from staring into the inflammation of our country's coin and dollar. Other times I watch the bonfire burn, burn, and burn like looking out of a window - in other words...

It's kind of a sad documentary, idk. For some people watching something like that helps (me) and others (one of my closer siblings) it actually causes more harm for them to get into subjects like poverty (it's hard for many people to think about something like despair or something like pain and they might really need the love or hope instead)

Peace and love, either way