Sicho Naut
Established member
In August I consumed 2,5g grinded SR in gel caps and a brew that equated to about 4,5g of MHRB. I had a very nice experience, although I longed for a little more intensity. It was quite a visual trip, though not overwhelmingly so. Tripped in silent darkness. Nausea but no purge.
Today, I consumed approx. 210mg harmala hcl in a gel cap and approx. 35 minutes later brew that equated to about 9g of MHRB, so double dose. (This brew was from the same cooking session as the brew from august.) Needless to say, I was expecting a lot of visions, but to my surprise there were almost none?! I am a little baffled.
However, I did have a very positive experience, with the purge being very central. For the first hour or so, I lay nervously anticipating what was about to come and also being fearful of purging, which I had a lot of resistance to and wanted to avoid. (This is why I took harmala hcl and not straight SR.) There were waves of nausea and discomfort and at times an urge to vomit that seemed distinctly suggested or 'nudged' by the plants, rather than being 'just' a bodily response. But I ignored and resisted it and the moment passed, which I then regretted because I felt that I should have trusted the instructions of the plants.
Then I thought the stomach discomfort and nausea phase had passed and I was really getting into the music that was playing (Aguas da Amazonia by Philip Glass, recommended!!). But then, it was like the plants were giving me a second chance. There were suddenly new waves of nausea and the impulse to vomit was rising-- Then it just happened. I sat up on the bed in front of my bucket and vomited a number of times. This was very intense, but also quite the relief. It definitely felt healing and invigorating on both bodily and mental levels, in spite of my previous skepticism toward and fear of purging.
In between vomiting and also after I took deep breaths, and on the out-breath, let out long sighs with sounds like 'aaaaaah', 'hmmmmmmmm', 'hooooooooo', etc. My body rather than 'I' was doing this. Then, as I started to develop a feel for releasing tension with noises on the out-breath, I (i.e. my body) started spontaneously chanting, which is not something I ever do. I am a very quiet person and a thinking-type and basically never sing or chant or anything like that-- But now it just happened and it felt fantastic, at times ecstatic.
The sounds that came from my body reminded me of Mongolian throat singing. Then I involved an imaginary audience: my small son (2,5) and his friends, which made it all the more joyful, to imagine their reactions to the strange music coming from my body :d. I also slapped my chest throughout to express the rhythm and add to the music. The rhythm and beats all came of themselves-- as if the plants were singing through me, using my body as their instrument. A very happy experience that I don't believe could have happened without the purge. It was as if the joy of being released from whatever was purged had to be expressed through the chanting.
As spontaneously as it came, the chanting stopped after a while. I tried to reproduce it a bit after but it did not feel the same at all-- I was no longer possessed.
And that was pretty much the experience. Nausea, purging, chanting. It felt great and healing and I am grateful. Although I must admit that a part of me finds it regretful that my thirst for visions was not sated, considering the high dose. This might be my first trip ever where I have nothing to write down in terms of new ideas or insights or something-- This trip was all body.
Does anyone have an explanation for this? Why was my experience so different and non-visual despite the dose being doubled?
210mg harmala hcl in a gel cap should have been enough for MAO-inhibition, right? Or could the fact that I tripped not in silence but with music have made such a big difference?
Thoughts? Similar experiences?
Thanks!
Today, I consumed approx. 210mg harmala hcl in a gel cap and approx. 35 minutes later brew that equated to about 9g of MHRB, so double dose. (This brew was from the same cooking session as the brew from august.) Needless to say, I was expecting a lot of visions, but to my surprise there were almost none?! I am a little baffled.
However, I did have a very positive experience, with the purge being very central. For the first hour or so, I lay nervously anticipating what was about to come and also being fearful of purging, which I had a lot of resistance to and wanted to avoid. (This is why I took harmala hcl and not straight SR.) There were waves of nausea and discomfort and at times an urge to vomit that seemed distinctly suggested or 'nudged' by the plants, rather than being 'just' a bodily response. But I ignored and resisted it and the moment passed, which I then regretted because I felt that I should have trusted the instructions of the plants.
Then I thought the stomach discomfort and nausea phase had passed and I was really getting into the music that was playing (Aguas da Amazonia by Philip Glass, recommended!!). But then, it was like the plants were giving me a second chance. There were suddenly new waves of nausea and the impulse to vomit was rising-- Then it just happened. I sat up on the bed in front of my bucket and vomited a number of times. This was very intense, but also quite the relief. It definitely felt healing and invigorating on both bodily and mental levels, in spite of my previous skepticism toward and fear of purging.
In between vomiting and also after I took deep breaths, and on the out-breath, let out long sighs with sounds like 'aaaaaah', 'hmmmmmmmm', 'hooooooooo', etc. My body rather than 'I' was doing this. Then, as I started to develop a feel for releasing tension with noises on the out-breath, I (i.e. my body) started spontaneously chanting, which is not something I ever do. I am a very quiet person and a thinking-type and basically never sing or chant or anything like that-- But now it just happened and it felt fantastic, at times ecstatic.
The sounds that came from my body reminded me of Mongolian throat singing. Then I involved an imaginary audience: my small son (2,5) and his friends, which made it all the more joyful, to imagine their reactions to the strange music coming from my body :d. I also slapped my chest throughout to express the rhythm and add to the music. The rhythm and beats all came of themselves-- as if the plants were singing through me, using my body as their instrument. A very happy experience that I don't believe could have happened without the purge. It was as if the joy of being released from whatever was purged had to be expressed through the chanting.
As spontaneously as it came, the chanting stopped after a while. I tried to reproduce it a bit after but it did not feel the same at all-- I was no longer possessed.
And that was pretty much the experience. Nausea, purging, chanting. It felt great and healing and I am grateful. Although I must admit that a part of me finds it regretful that my thirst for visions was not sated, considering the high dose. This might be my first trip ever where I have nothing to write down in terms of new ideas or insights or something-- This trip was all body.
Does anyone have an explanation for this? Why was my experience so different and non-visual despite the dose being doubled?
210mg harmala hcl in a gel cap should have been enough for MAO-inhibition, right? Or could the fact that I tripped not in silence but with music have made such a big difference?
Thoughts? Similar experiences?
Thanks!