How deep does the Rabbit Hole go?

[hdubyah]

When traveling with psychedelics, how deep have you gone? What did you see there? Do you think if one were to go far enough, it would take you to an altogether different place than normal?

I've experienced this phenomenon with LSD after absorbing an abnormally high (unknown) dose on minimal sleep and no food. It took me so far that the veil was completely lifted from my eyes and my ego was separated from my body. My mind was taken to a place I think few have ever traveled on LSD, and a place altogether different than I have been on DMT breakthroughs. It was dark, awesome, and utterly horrifying. I call it the Void. There was a finality to this place that stuck with me even after I left. I've never been back, and I don't want to, but I learned much during my travels there. I am wondering if anybody else has been to this place and come back different. I am under the impression that the Void is a place people go when they have gone too far. Not sure if it's somewhere you're supposed to come back from, and I think there are many doors one could take to get there.

 

[brilliantlydim]

I think there is something just past the void. Hard to explain, but I think I experienced it once.

 

[hdubyah]

I know what you mean. The void for me was like being dead, while being conscious of being dead. Like when you sleep without dreaming, only you know you're sleeping. Kind of like being nothing and everything but scarier and not as enlightening as it sounds. When you experienced that place, were you at a high dose or did it just happen, like stumbling across a shortcut in the woods?

 

[tseuq]

No words can describe it cause it is empty of everything and jet full of everything, it is like being everywhere and nowhere at the same time and no time at all in endless space with no boundaries but no space at all, like the central point of existence but no point at all, the source with no source. This can never know itself, because there is nothing to know but still is everything and knows everything,...

[Source: Welcome to the DMT-Nexus » THE DMT-NEXUS SITE » Open Discussion » Is total annihilation impossible? » #22 Post]

Brings my thoughts about this topic to a point.

tseuq

 

[echoes]

Once I took a too big of a dose of Psilohuasca. 30g fresh+ 3g Harmala was too much for me since I'm very sensitive to the tryptamines. It lasted 15 hours. It was a weird experience. No visuals, nothing. Just this feeling, like I woke up from a dream which my life was... Felt like nothing existed. All there was is me, and the world was a reflection of me. Hope that makes sense. I thought I would never exist as myself again. Prayed to come back.. After I did come back, I couldn't let go of that day. Never again I experienced anything similar, but I wanted to know... Until the most terrifying experience I had.

This one time, after "searching" for a year, I was disrespectful to the plants I was using. It was only 0.5g Cubes + 3g Harmala. I said "This is stupid, you showed me nothing!". Stupid idea. Next thing I know - my body disappeared. Whole world too. All my senses. Only consciousness was left. I felt like nothing and all at the same time. The consciousness was creating the body out of nothing. Made me into all kinds of weird creatures. Mind was silent and I felt like I was creating it all, with no conscious effort. It lasted for some time, and *snap* I was back in the "reality", scared to the bone. Couldn't sleep for the next day.

Finally I fell asleep, woke up... it was impossible to integrate the experience into anything. Pretty stupid thing to do. Got to learn to be humble. And respect the wonderful teacher plants that took care of me.

 

[hdubyah]

Woah, that's crazy man. I understand EXACTLY what you mean about showing respect to the teachers. When I had that acid trip I was not being very good to myself. I had been up for several days on a meth binge and was already so stoned I barely knew where I was. Completely ignored set and setting in an attempt to distance myself from reality as much as possible. Not exactly sure how much LSD I was exposed to, although I was familiar with the batch, having sampled it a few weeks prior and noting it to be extremely strong. But long story short I showed no respect to the acid or myself that day and I think I was allowed a brief glimpse of what happens when you run too far from reality. I didnt think I was going to come back or even if "I" was a thing anymore. Maybe I had been vaporized and even my ego/consciousness scattered about the universe. Learned a lot about the value of reality, and the importance of respect while trying to find myself out there. Never been more grateful for and scared by an experience.

 

[echoes]

Exactly the same thoughts I had... It's hard to come back from such an experience, and the moment you give up and realize what brought you there brings a great sense of humbleness. In my case it was my naive search which had its roots in my unhappiness with the world as it is.
All I want now is to forgive myself and move on. No longer I want to know and analyze what wasn't meant for me to know.
No matter how terrifying the experience is, it brings up important questions. We have a lot to learn in this weird place.
At least we have each other. Feeling emotional to all living things now.. I love you all

 

[tseuq]

Just this feeling, like I woke up from a dream which my life was... Felt like nothing existed. All there was is me, and the world was a reflection of me. Hope that makes sense. I thought I would never exist as myself again.

Thank you for sharing this deep experience, which is my awakening as god of myself. I am living death, death of all believes, constantly open, recieving and letting go of everything (identificiations, believes) about myself and the universe I live in, to be here and find out, what and who is also going on, I am. I am now, aware of my projections, I am creation, I am love.

This is the starting point of my own human experience, my dream is alive because I am. Before I was living the life of others, directed by the thoughts of others, seeking for truth and certainty. Now I am myself.

I really love love, this is one of my diamonds of creation, my favourite game to play, being pure love myself... I think I am addicted.

Prayed to come back.. After I did come back, I couldn't let go of that day. Never again I experienced anything similar, but I wanted to know... Until the most terrifying experience I had.

It is not lost as you already experienced yourself as this state of awareness, the information is still in your system wating to be integrated, or is already? Yes, it is also somehow terrifying to me, this reality is just so terrifying merciless. Moreover, neglecting what happens to me and going on living a dream of life might feel safe and comfortable in short term but as I experience, life is nothing like safty and comfort. This is how it appears to me.

love, tseuq

 

[echoes]

It is not lost as you already experienced yourself as this state of awareness, the information is still in your system wating to be integrated, or is already? Yes, it is also somehow terrifying to me, this reality is just so terrifying merciless. Moreover, neglecting what happens to me and going on living a dream of life might feel safe and comfortable in short term but as I experience, life is nothing like safty and comfort. This is how it appears to me.

love, tseuq

I don't see how it's possible to integrate it. Honestly, I want to forget it ever happened. It was very stupid of me to want to see something like that. But I guess it was meant to happen.

That day I knew I was the eternal Self stuck in the paradox of existence. Knew that the moment I see is all there is. Our human experience was fake. Felt as I created it all to get a chance to experience all of this, until I remember my true identity. But what's next? Eternity is nothingness. It must start all over again eventually.

I prayed to be a human again. To feel human. To be in this paradoxical existence with all my brothers.

It is still here. Often I get that feeling... Like nothing ever changed from that moment. Nothing I do can change the universal truth of existence. It wants for me to be happy and it loves me. But my ego is still in the way of happiness. The eternal Self doesn't care. That's the whole paradox...
We choose how we want to live, and somehow we end up hurting ourselves and others. Now I want to be a better person to myself. To others. Still a lot to learn..

 

[○]

How deep do you wanna go?

 

[travsha]

I've gone lots of places... Not sure which one is the deepest - I dont think it is that linear for me...

My ceremonies sometimes happen without plants or substances, and also sometimes continue for weeks after the taking the substance... Last time I did Ayahuasca I was altered for 10 days afterwards. Over the years I learned how to make myself really sensitive and how to live in semi-altered states most of the time (important for the type of work I do).

I have lived in the void or the abyss for weeks at a time.... (super difficult, but great learning experience for me) I have crossed the abyss and reached infinite unity multiple times on multiple substances/plants. I have experienced death while sober and had "death'experiences" on substances too (was more intense when I was sober though!).

I have seen spirits take on physical form and touch me. One carried me out of the ocean when I was drowning. I have seen the sky above me open and the ground beneath me open - I have heard the voices of Great Spirit and of Mother Earth speaking to me. I have flown up into the hole in the sky to find my families grimiore and read it.

I have shapeshifted before. Once I became a giant puma with condor wings and I was able to fly wherever I wanted to. I visited temples around Cusco I had never seen before, and the next day when I was less altered I walked to those same temples to check them out....

I've talked to the dead and my dead mother.

I have been carried to another world by little elves who took out my bones and counted all of them before replacing them with new ones.

I've lost awareness of having ever been a human, or even knowing what a human might be.

I think each of these experiences taught me how to be more like my authentic self and to live a better and more fulfilled life.

 

[thymamai]

This is going to sound silly, given this is under the context of psychedelics.. but I was not tripping.. I had very little sleep, was extremely hung over, extremely caffeinated and under some amount of stress.
And I believe I experienced this void. Albeit somewhat differently.

I distinctly remember thinking "this is going too far, I've pushed myself to the limits.. and I am in danger of breaking" yet feeling completely lucid and functioning at optimum performance in any conversation for the duration.

The hole goes deep, but there is a stopping point for everyone.

How deep do you wanna go?

precisely.