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I am.

Erchitu

Rising Star
Reporting in from my current timeline.
I've come to share some of my experiences, teach everyone what I have learnt while pushing my consciousness to its limits through my ultimate surrender to it all.
I am now 25. My favourite number because of how much PlayStation games used to cost in the shops.
I have begun my journey in search of God many years ago.
The first time I tried it, I was afraid, an adaptation that humans have felt since external factors have caused us harm. (Amygdala)
Let's get into it so.
The first thing I saw was animals. Only after doing it more the second time did I begin to lose feeling in my body and the ...click of the universe pulled me in.
The clicks turned into language, it was like I was thinking it and I just began to talk an alien language I had not understood to the entities that surrounded me and looked upon me.
The third time, expecting the exact same thing. I forgot to surrender, as though knowledge of the beyond, stopped me from entering the beyond. Everything was normal, I was conscious, wavey but conscious. Further down my journey I have tried more, but this time only meeting creatures of long posture with elongated black arms that stretched into my observation point, ( I have a see through body ... So I guess it is just my eyes? ) reaching in to communicate through touch? Tickling my soul.

Or monitor head people which turned towards me when I gave them attention, creating matrixes within their screens as though communicating through sight. They were listening to my soul and they saw I could see. They knew they were being watched.

One even got so close to me, I had to look over it and just, tell it to leave by ignoring it. (Obviously didn't know the language of monitor people because apparently they were not listening) Some moved closer when I gave them attention, others wanted to be watched.
After stepping it up a little bit at a time, I have not yet been knocked out.
So I pushed my limits, dove deeper. No more breathing, no more feeling no more touch. It is like all the functions in my brain that are responsible for existing stopped but I was fully conscious, and could see through my hands. More I said, but this time... Surrendering myself.
It happened. She stood there, the eternal void of gold, something drawing me towards her, the illumination of the bright light that caused me to straighten myself. A conscious being, but there was only one this time... Not many as I always see it.
She is real, the lady is real. At 18 years of age. I have ripped through the fabric of evil just to be comforted? Felt loved? Why me?
What lies beyond her I don't know.
What about that time I saw my family? And years later questioned my own family. My own perception of reality as I know it. I began to see my real parents as stand ins, started getting dilations in time. This didn't add up, real humans began to teleport and that is when I realized I had gone too far. I had to relearn to love, and I'm still relearning to speak in a way that I feel understood (because I don't usually)
I was not sure if I had died or not that night. But I'm writing here... And people are answering, so I guess we are all dead or we are all alive and I can leave my anxiety behind.

Then I felt it. Those entities were protecting me. Nothing exists without purpose.
IF I am everything at some point... I must have done some really bad things as a different creature and hurt a lot of souls.
Did I try to end it all? If so, are the entities instead, protecting themselves from me. Is there even a conflict? Haha, maybe internal.

This energy gives me fuel to live on. The feeling that forever ends as abruptly as it goes on. Nothing can't be observed so forever it is. The scary term forever is like getting angry at living because you can't die.
Don't struggle, I have seen it all. The end will come and you will be content with it.
Sometimes a little too early and that is the scary part. But eventually it will come and you will be ready. So get ready. Wait, don't panic. It won't hurt if we stay together.
Taking care of endless beings is like a full time job. Bringing endless beings into this universe is the beauty of our universe.
I'm just really sorry that you forget sometimes who you are, or I am.
I remind myself every day, replacing normal people's coffee time with my brain melding time.
Its a little strong at the start but then the hours tic by and the feeling of everything settles in.
It makes me enjoy everything so much more. I fully integrated my brain to recognize itself and I live a happy life, knowing that I love stimulation. Food tastes better on an empty stomach they say, so why not do it with life too. Focusing my mind twice a day. Once when I wake up. And once at night when I surrender myself to the abyss again.
My dreams have become more vivid.... At some point there have been conscious entities there too. It will be many years until we find our goal as a species so finding my goal now, learning to live, is all I need and want. Learning to smile. Learning to heal. Learning to be present.

Work is difficult I must say, being fully conscious at work, I sometimes feel I don't really know if anyone can tell. Meanwhile, I imagine myself to have super powers and day dream. It is peaceful, it is beautiful. Thank you.
So did I find God?
The answer would have to come from every cell of my body. Which tells me that I am. But why would I be looking for myself? This was not what I wanted to find.
I gained knowledge that everything that happens in my mind, happens for real. But sometimes we overlap realities and the invisible bubbles melt together.
I have the ability to create with my mind, within my mind. Sadly we cannot share it because it is too difficult to share.

What if the universe loops back on itself, internally and externally. As a hypothetical experiment we could stretch an infinitely expanding or shrinking thread into something and have it envelop everything around us until it destroys itself by crushing itself from all directions.
And all that was left was her. Or the thought of herself. Bringing certainty of her own existence, perpetually reinventing herself in a stasis. Waiting for it all to end on a good note. Like the centre of a gravity field.
Her stasis never ends. Some day though, other things begin, so she begins to meet creatures from around and realizes that hers was not the only universe to exist.
Thank you for your time captain. Will report back soon.

P.S sorry for the language barrier, sometimes it is hard to explain something realer than real... My imagination. :') also, English is not my first language, I had rewritten many books including dictionaries but it's whatever.
 
Erchitu,

Welcome to the Nexus.

Great reporting. Sounds like you have had some remarkable experiences, including meeting a feminine God like being.

2x a day . . . . I think you might be in what we like to call "the honeymoon phase." Enjoy this time and please do keep journalling.

Please do take care of yourself when you are not journying. The fact that you mention work is hard is a sign you might want to integrate more between trips. Obviously, you know what is best for you. It's just my personal dogma that psychedelic users should be able to meet all real world obligations.

So, have you been extracting your own DMT? Do you have a favorite way to do DMT? Like crystal or changa?

Again, welcome.
 
Erchitu,

Welcome to the Nexus.

Great reporting. Sounds like you have had some remarkable experiences, including meeting a feminine God like being.

2x a day . . . . I think you might be in what we like to call "the honeymoon phase." Enjoy this time and please do keep journalling.

Please do take care of yourself when you are not journying. The fact that you mention work is hard is a sign you might want to integrate more between trips. Obviously, you know what is best for you. It's just my personal dogma that psychedelic users should be able to meet all real world obligations.

So, have you been extracting your own DMT? Do you have a favorite way to do DMT? Like crystal or changa?

Again, welcome.
Hey there Pandora, (beautiful name)
Not on any psychedelics for some time, forgot to mention as this post is already quite long and I tried to focus on the experiences themselves.
Some time ago I had stopped using anything, including nicotine which I used to be highly addicted to. Instead reverting to my childlike self.
SO the mornings and evenings I spend activating my mind and rewinding information I remember from a long time ago. This is what has kept me so happy that I haven't done before. It feels present and lets me focus on living.

As an active member of my community, and having most of my experiences be very vivid, I must say that I feel like it would be difficult to sustain both, connecting a personal journey and talking to someone about it is very different. Both can be quite satisfying. But they don't go together very well. I wish they did. A connection I can't seem to make with everyone.

I feel no need for DMT at the moment, Seemed the last time was just no reactions. Which, surprisingly was very peaceful and it felt like a sign I am allowed to move on. It is like going to the moon and not having something you really like with you. Actually think I have finished my journey and wanted to see if anyone had similar experiences. But there is definitely nothing like it on this planet it seems. I wanted to say that, I am simply unsure if I did this as a form of escape or exploration and I can't see the difference between. First sounds like splitting the other sounds like relocating. There should be a third option like, a mind holiday?

To bring back a point you mentioned about obligations,

Do you feel that memory itself is an obligation?

Something I personally struggle with a lot. Getting something into the mechanical or image based memory takes some time. Returning information from experiences like I mentioned earlier becomes harder the less you practice it.
Some can find value in doing so. But ultimately, I hope that psychedelic experiences don't paralyze too many people to forget things we must do in order to keep the little universes inside us running. On the contrary, I feel that psychedelic experiences could allow for us to be more in tune with out bodies if we feel the conversations that go on within us. Almost like feeling the responsibility to keep systems within us running. A happy thought for a healthy body and mind. (As long as you value happiness as high as I do, some people just feel it's necessary, that's it.)

Thank you very much for answering so quick! I wish you all the best.
 
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