Aeroman
Rising Star
When I joined this forum, I was in the process of experimenting with various psychedelic substances with the goal of becoming more conscious and self aware.
Well I have to say, it worked! DMT experiences in particular made some profound changes in my life.
The biggest change was becoming more self aware and mindful, this is mostly positive however, coming from a narcissistic family it has created a new set of problems.
I was previously narcissistic, boastful and constantly seeking external validation but on the other hand, quite the avoidant introvert with low self esteem. Since my psychedelics-triggered awakening, I no longer feel motivated to seek validation and attention but I am now more aware of my narcissistic mother and brother's coping mechanism so can't be in their presence without being in self defence mode. I believe my avoidant behaviour must have been a natural coping mechanism to protect myself from their toxic bullshit. My father is passive and just puts up with the BS and my sister has her own family so has enough to deal with. I now feel like an outsider in this family.
I've been watching self help videos on YouTube, the experts make it clear that my family's narcissism is never going away. So I will have to fix my issues on my own.
Has this happened to anyone here? Any ideas about where to start undoing the damage (of the dysfunctional upbringing). I feel like I know exactly what the psychological problem is but could do with some very targeted counselling.
Well I have to say, it worked! DMT experiences in particular made some profound changes in my life.
The biggest change was becoming more self aware and mindful, this is mostly positive however, coming from a narcissistic family it has created a new set of problems.
I was previously narcissistic, boastful and constantly seeking external validation but on the other hand, quite the avoidant introvert with low self esteem. Since my psychedelics-triggered awakening, I no longer feel motivated to seek validation and attention but I am now more aware of my narcissistic mother and brother's coping mechanism so can't be in their presence without being in self defence mode. I believe my avoidant behaviour must have been a natural coping mechanism to protect myself from their toxic bullshit. My father is passive and just puts up with the BS and my sister has her own family so has enough to deal with. I now feel like an outsider in this family.
I've been watching self help videos on YouTube, the experts make it clear that my family's narcissism is never going away. So I will have to fix my issues on my own.
Has this happened to anyone here? Any ideas about where to start undoing the damage (of the dysfunctional upbringing). I feel like I know exactly what the psychological problem is but could do with some very targeted counselling.