i could use help, its emotional. Section seems appropriate?

[SpireCatalyst]

I tried meditation for the first time tonight, along with explosions in the sky, to fix a girl problem.

It's NO one night stand...
Read on if you don't mind venting...

The girl I've been with for five years sprung on me that she's moving, and for good reason. It's for the best...for both of "us".

My problem is that, it was brought up one week ago, for a job she had in line. So she had to leave. Immediately. Not a big deal.

Now.
I come to find out what she says is true, but for all the wrong reasons. The job and moving part is true but, half the time she was MEANT to spend with me has been spent with another individual. We have been together for five years, through some of the best AND worst times of both our lives.

Now I've been bombarded with doubt and suspicion, because what I know as fact is being told as lie, by her.

I tried meditation for the first time today, and I think it stopped me from going somewhere dark.

Anyway. Thanks guys.

 

[Skitty]

Hey I feel you brother. That essential piece of yourself that resides in another person is never easy to take back. Its definitely going to hurt for a while, and meditation is probably the best thing that you could do-sit with that stuff, don't push it away, breathe into it. There is great potential to revamp your life, if that is what's being called for, and you have an opportunity to dig deeper into yourself with this pain.

Cheating is never acceptable. I got cheated on by my first love and it was wrenching. Now however, we are great friends and play a part in each others lives. Good luck man, as cliche as it is, time does help with stuff like this, and if you can manage it try to vent that pain into something positive. Sending some vibes your way--

 

[christian]

What then can you learn from this? 8)

I want to know!

 

[Eliyahu]

I know most people are not big on reading the bible but personally when I had bad girl trouble in the past...The book of proverbs helped me, because it has lots of interesting wisdom regarding untrustworthy females, written by King Solomon who had trouble with females..

 

[Vodsel]

This might sound like something anti-intuitive to say to you in a moment like this, but don't be too afraid of the dark. Negative emotions are also part of yourself, and it's your way to experience them and deal with them what makes them dangerous or not. You felt (and will feel a bunch of other times) confused, angry and doubting everything. For that, meditation can be a great help - not just to bring peace of mind, but to allow you to visit dark corners and know them. So you go there visit, you don't let dark feelings blackmail you and show up when you don't want them to. Keep doing it, it will make you grow. And in times of crisis is when we grow up the most.

And regarding doubt, try to not let it overrun you. You found out there's a lot of things, or some important things, you were not aware of. But that doesn't invalidate what you experienced, at all. All those best moments, and worst moments, were real and still are. And nothing will change that, they will stay part of you and part of her.

You might have a few little bumps ahead, but you will sort them out fine.

Vent all you need. Hugs

 

[SpireCatalyst]

Thanks guys seriously, I enjoyed all of the advice. Today started off bad but I did some writing, just get all the thoughts out, and it helped.

I feel like in this situation I have been played for a fool by an ungrateful and devious girl, who, has the ability to control/ play with my emotions but as time passes I grow stronger. I use the bad things she's done as ammo against depression, its easier to be mad than sad...but neither is constructive

In any case what I feel could be learned is that: I can never underestimate the capacity of people to do wrong, even towards those who love you.

I'll keep meditating...and writing...and venting Hahaha.

Thanks again everybody, you guys rock.

 

[Zanexx]

Hmm... after trying to write things in (my perception of) the right way for a few days, I'll just go with this.

Everyone has their own journey.
Anything is only as difficult as we perceive/believe it to be.
Keep writing, meditating and VENTING. (I found venting to a tree to be most effective at letting it all go).
What ever feels right to you.
Be kind, be gentle, be forgiving and most importantly be honest with yourself, for yourself.
Sometimes the truth hurts.
Without darkness how could light exist?
Nothing is permanent.
You will get there.

 

[christian]

Most relationships have their time. 5 years is a long time for a marriage, let alone relationship.

Also realise that maybe she needs this, and maybe so do you. Maybe life's trying to tell you you've been too comfortable, and complascent. Maybe she needs new thrills, and so do you??

I guess it's not necessarily healthy to get too comfortable OR feel needy, especially when you're young, and still in the playing stage of life ??

Sounds like you're really miffed cos she's gone with some other bloke. Ask yourself why??

If i was you, i'd "get on with it", there's plenty women out there, and you don't sound like an old man who's life depends on a partner, so lighten up, and go get some fun!

 

[Pup Tentacle]

Man, my heart goes out to you brother. That feeling of betrayal is definitely one of the more stinging ones.

This may not help the emotional part, but might help join the emotional with the rational... someone once told me when I was in a VERY similar situation that, "as far as relationships go, half a loaf is not better than no loaf at all." I only grew to see the wisdom in that in the weeks following hearing it - it didn't help the heartache much. For that I can only say, it'll get better, hang in there, people you don't even know are sending you love

Blessings

 

[thymamai]

You only love
when you love in vain.

Try another radio probe
when ten have failed,
take two hundred rabbits
when a hundred have died:
only this is science.

You ask the secret.
It has just one name:
again.

In the end
a dog carries in his jaws
his image in the water,
people rivet the new moon,
I love you.

Like caryatids
our lifted arms
hold up time's granite load

and defeated
we shall always win.

Every step forward is heartbreak. And how deeply, for the one you are dying to meet.

 

[BecometheOther]

i think the serenity prayer has real wisdom in this area, and in many areas when things are stressing you out.

grant me the grace to accept the things i cannot change, the strength to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Do you know you are a beautiful person in your own heart? If you radiate happiness from within and love yourself, it is easier to come to terms with those who have betrayed you. I have been in a similair situation and what gave me strength was simply loving myself and caring about myself. Sounds cheesy but it really worked for me to get over the heartbreak

wishing you the best my dear brother

 

[mew]

just remember, one day you will experience pure ecstasy and it will due to the composite of all your previous experiences. every last one, the good, and the bad. during that ecstasy you will realize that had not you had ALL of the experiences you had you wouldnt be able to have such profound joy, so.

thank her
for the
struggle


you will have matured because of it, growth is something to have pride in

 

[jamie]

I would say just forget her but that is too easy for me to say and likely much harder for you to do..

Just relax, the emotions will pass with time. Despite how things often seem, the grass usually really is greener on the other side.