Integration and the Work/Life Balance

[Macre]

This post is inspired by a recent career thread which I found extremely interesting. I am working on achieving a form of balance in my life. I am not there yet, as I am currently building some foundations, though I am working towards it and I know how I am going to achieve it. For a majority of the last 18 months the life balance had outweighed the work balance, currently however my work is outweighing my life. This is just a temporary measure, as my 12-15 hour working day is about to reduce down a normal level of about 8 hours per day.

My reduced hours involve me going full time with a new job and leaving my older current job. This new job will bring with it a higher salary, a better job, more opportunity, better perks etc. The higher salary will improve my quality of life, as will the reduced hours (my job to job transition is overlapping, hence the long hours).

The work side of things involves my job, and job related tasks I carry out at home, such as learning (I work in IT, so the learning never stops). The life side of things involves spending time with friends and family, personal development through the use of entheogens, living sustainably, carrying out creative endeavours, keeping fit and living healthy, going for days out and holidays, hobbies etc.

This new job, when I go full time, will enable me to achieve my perfect work/life balance. I had a similar role where I used to live, but I hadn’t achieved the perfect work/life balance. The reason for this is that I had not achieved balance in my life outside of work, as there were a few things missing. My girlfriend and I lived many miles apart, I lived in a terrible neighbourhood, I was limited on space so I couldn’t grow my own food and my enthobotanical garden was extremely limited, I still had some negative people in my life and I just didn’t feel content.

So I finally moved to be with my girlfriend, though some things improved, other things arose. I had a long stretch of unemployment after leaving a good IT job, my girlfriend’s sister was causing problems, I had no space to extract or journey in and as a result I became slightly lost in my way.

I wanted to start a new career which combined my love of entheogens with a working life. There are many routes I could have gone down, but I decided perhaps psychology would be the route I would take; building the career over a few years to eventually involve some form of entheogen based psychological research.

I tried to make steps to kick-start this career. Starting a career is no mean feat so needless to say I found it extremely difficult to take even a first small step. I am a determined person at the best of times, who likes setting goals and achieving things, though this was just not going anywhere. The idea was great, but the execution was not.

This made me realise that personally, I need to keep my love of entheogens separate from my career. I find integration extremely important, so this separation makes my integration fuller and all the more effective, improving both sides of the fence. If my career and “entheogen life” were closer together this could lead to stagnation and hampering of personal progress.

Things in my life started to improve, I managed to sort things out with my girlfriends sister, I successfully obtained two allotment plots to grow food and entheogens, and I got another IT job. This new IT job was far from ideal (basic depot technician work) though it was (still is) only a temporary contract.

I eventually found a guy who agreed to trial me for a job between shifts of my depot technician job. So I had (still have) extra hours with this totally awesome IT company. The boss (a real cool cat) quickly made the decision to employ me full time when my depot technician contract ends (in about three or four weeks). So my career has levelled out again, and in the process so has my life outside of work (though things are still work in progress, like my allotments for example, but this is all part of the fun).

This makes me think about how different people are, how different people prefer to balance their lives completely differently. I found out that for me, keeping my working life and love of entheogens separate is more rewarding for me. Though equally, someone else could much prefer to keep the two far closer together.

I am interested to hear how fellow Nexians view the work/life balance, or just balancing life in general, as we are such a diverse community and all have different preferences, each being equally valid. I apologise for the length of the post, I found it better to give a bit of background as to why I started giving the work/life balance some thought and how I came to the conclusions about myself.

Peace

Macre

 

[anrchy]

Great thread. I didn't mind the length because the content was well put. I definitely share your view on managing work/life.

I have for some time now been working out all the kinks in the way I manage my time. I still have far to go but their have been major improvements in the last 2 years, most notably since my DMT use started. My home life takes precedence over my career. Mostly due to the fact that I am not working my "dream" job nor is it one that fulfills my life. In this way I am able to focus on myself and who I might be or more so who I am not. My biggest feat is scheduling. I'm horrible with forcing myself into maintaining a schedule of eating at this time working out at that time, so on and so forth.

Currently my balance is working for me. My home life is most important for me, which has caused me to be bullheaded when in one way or another some form of duties at my job start to impose in my home life time or abilities. This has allowed me to see that for most people it's the other way around. A lot of people focus in the job because it allows them to have a home life, raise kids, get that house, die happy ect.

I would like a career that makes me feel fulfilled throughout but that will have to wait until I have accomplished my goals on refining my lifestyle. I procrastinate, which causes me to sometimes not seek out certain goals to the end. This, amongst other things, are things I am working on in order to better myself, and to allow me to be and do more fluidly. With this accomplishment I hope to further conquer my life path obstacles and be the me that I am to be.

By having this focus in life more so it allows me to really look inwards as well as outwards, to really integrate my experiences with psychedelics. I dont fret over work related issues when at home, and the stress levels are kept at a minimum. Work/Life balance is important and everyone should take a little time here and there to refine it to their liking.

Thanks macre

 

[Nitegazer]

Macre,

This thread really speaks to me, and I look forward to reading what others will post here. I hope it keeps going for a while.

This made me realise that personally, I need to keep my love of entheogens separate from my career. I find integration extremely important, so this separation makes my integration fuller and all the more effective, improving both sides of the fence. If my career and “entheogen life” were closer together this could lead to stagnation and hampering of personal progress.

^^^ This is some strong medicine, and it speaks to me. Thank you.


I am also fortunate to have a job that gives me the personal and financial rewards that I desire. The challenge I have faced is that I have a hard time easing the grip I have on my work focus, which cramps my creative desires outside of work. It can get so that I resent my career for this, the end result being that both career and creative life suffer. When my career suffers, I end up focusing even more on it, starting the cycle again.

It's an irrational yet reinforcing destructive cycle that I am trying to undo. I am finding that meditation-- and more recently DMT is helping me through.

I will be following the conversation....

 

[Inner Paths]

Great topic! And a good branch off of the career thread

My balance is definitely on the life side at the moment which I have been enjoying immensely but with the added stress of less income than I have been used to. Even when I am bringing in more cash my work hours aren't drastic (self employed musician/guitar teacher) mostly afternoon lesson work through the weekday with a night or two a week of rehearsals and anywhere from 1-3 gigs over the weekend.

I am working to running my own band and getting much better paying gigs which will mean less gigs for more money and the perfect balance of work (I don't really consider it that though, more like playtime!) and life (and more quality time with my partner).

Interested to see other nexus peoples views on this.

 

[nexalizer]

Nice thread. I too work in IT and indeed, the learning never stops.

The way I approach it is to try to leave the journeys to periods of lower action. Especially if it's a higher dose, I'll take one or two days off and do it on Wednesday, so that there is plenty of time to go through anything that comes up (not an option for everyone I guess).

And I try to not go journeying if there are big outstanding things, be it at work or in general. I like to get everything else done first and then on a calm period (created by the combination of stopping the inflow of new things to do and finishing the ones that were outstanding) take my time, take it easy, and get ready for the magic.


So far this scheme works for me. Sometimes I wish I could do it a bit more often, but it's probably a good thing that plenty of time between trips elapses.

 

[Guyomech]

For me, it's all a bit porous, unstructured, possibly a little messy.

I'm an artist for a living, and as such I never really clock out. My art is psychedelic influenced, and many of the people who collect it (either on skin or canvas) are either part of psychedelic culture or are at least appreciative of it. So as a professional I am constantly within the umbrella of inspiration that psychedelic use has brought to me.

Here's where it gets messy: my wife is also an artist (she used to trip quite a bit back in the day but got the message/hung up the phone a decade ago). We are middle aged artists with a toddler. So our schedules for tattooing/painting/office work/ parenting are totally chaotic, with every day having its own flow. Very hard to find time to keep up with things (like my current book project). Even harder to find the time and energy for entheogens, although I've managed to squeeze in a few very significant experiences since embarking on parenthood, the craziest trip there is.

Our circle of friends has generally included a lot of psychedelic folks, including our clientele, so exploring the mind is a subject that is freely discussed even in our professional setting. On the other hand, we are starting to spend a little time around 'normal' families so our kid will have friends. Obviously we need to keep the psychedelic thing on the downlow in these cases. Makes for an interesting contrast.

Some awkward moments do come up- I was giving a lecture in front of around a hundred artists, getting video shot and all that, and an audience member straight up asked me about psychedelic influences. I would never deny it, since I think that would be silly and dishonest, but it's a hard question to field, especially in light of being a parent now. I gave a sort of mushy and evasive answer and then discussed it privately over a doob later on.

So I can't really find a delineation dividing my life as a person, as an artist, a parent, husband, psychonaut... It's all a big smear. But I'm cool with that.

 

[Inner Paths]

For me, it's all a bit porous, unstructured, possibly a little messy.

I'm an artist for a living, and as such I never really clock out. My art is psychedelic influenced, and many of the people who collect it (either on skin or canvas) are either part of psychedelic culture or are at least appreciative of it. So as a professional I am constantly within the umbrella of inspiration that psychedelic use has brought to me.

Well put, that kinda sums up my situation as well. I make my living in music which is the same thing that I do for the love of it too. Which has also been massively influenced by my admittedly modest psychedelic experiences. I sometimes have to take gigs that are not my cup of tea artistically but as long as I can find something redeeming about it I can live with that... though that is why I am working on taking more control in that aspect and get to play what I want, when I want, where I want.

I also enjoy the fluid, changing nature of my day to day life, it really helps me appreciate that each day is a magical new creation to explore

 

[Hyperspace Fool]

I decided early on in my life that free time was more valuable than money.

This is something most people don't realize until it is too late. I know plenty of 1%ers who would give their mansion in the hills to have even a fraction of the free time I have given myself.

Naturally, though, there is never enough time.

Those of us with a taste for infinity can never be satisfied with finite things.

I suppose my best advice to those trying to find a balance and integrate is to open yourself to undreamed of solutions. Too often, we get stuck in the idea that we must choose between paths that are apparent to us now. This is stifling, though... because I as said on another thread, we tend to have no idea what our options really are.

In general, I can say with near 100% certainty... the optimal path for your life is something you could never currently envision or even hope to wish for.

To truly "use the force" is to empty as many preconceived notions you have for what is possible, and learn to follow higher guidance. Developing intuition and acquiring perspective are essential, but in the end you always need to surrender to open up potential futures that surpass your ability to even desire them.

Obviously, only the really committed among us can walk such a path. Having kids or serious careers... serious anything... generally precludes it.

Oh well.

Whatever we do, we will achieve some balance in the end. The question is if... once you achieve it, does it satisfy?

 

[○]

The experience of DMT is part and parcel of my life. Every person I talk to, every action or gesture I make, every smile, every stare, every touch, it's all right there, hyperspace experiencing itself through me. I can't shake it, I can't not think about it.

Integration, for me and my girlfriend, is key, as time is of the essence. We spend alot of time together doing things that make us happy. Spending time with my aging family, knowing that time is also precious with them. I try to be true to myself and those around me, honesty gets you a long way. I should probably be a little more focused on a career than 'free time'.......or should i? I HEAVILY value my 'free' time.

I think it's all about incorporating the fact of how effin special and sacred life truly is, and live as a shining example through that understanding, then people follow suit. Every action I make, from working out to meditating to interacting with the world, I 'remember' then it all comes flashing back, and then I attempt to do my best in each and every moment.

 

[teotenakeltje]

I spent a lot of time thinking about a way to find a job that doesn't feel like work. You know, an easy way around getting money.
I thought that becoming a cook was the solution, since I love cooking. But the reality of kitchen work soon shattered my dream.
I left Belgium, moved to Germany and my daughter was born 6 months later. That changed everything.
RESPONSABILITY all in my face! The pressure of being a dad, having to earn money wasn't always easy to say the least.
BUT...there are no words to describe what a child can do to you! It's magic.
And here I am, just started a new job with higher salary, closer to home and better working hours. It took me 6 years to finally earn a respectable living and have enough time to spend with my family.
It's an acceptable life work/balance although sometimes it does make me angry tinking about the 40 hours a week I spend @ work. But that is just what most people need to do, pay there bills etc...
The key to me is being optimistic and appreciating the wonders of live, the extraordinary reality we have been blessed with, day by day. This is where the power lies in entheogens, they just make you so damn thankful!

 

[wiglo]

Very interesting and something I've struggled with for many years. I know where it came from... my father. That complacent attitude he had about everything I ever did, then and now... passing unfair judgement on me that I would never achieve anything grandiose in life. I believed him and therefore focused my developmental growth on "the American fucking dream" - all in all I never realized that he was just a worker bee sorting parcels for his entire adult life at the USPS, a poorly run Federal business that hemorrhages cash and may ultimately fail in providing for those who have receive pensions. My father, a man that is a worker bee trying to make me believe I would never amount to more than nothing. And for a long time, my goal was to work along side of him at the USPS BECAUSE I wanted to show him I could do maybe just as much as he could. But then...

Perspective is key, especially when listening to one's own and changing it however necessary. I'm a moderately successful dude in business. I worked my ass off to get it. I focused heavily on my career and making $$$. And that was it. OUT OF BALANCE for over two decades. My personal relationships faltered, I put aside my love of creating art and music and focused only on gaining capital. Where have I ended up? Well known and sought after in my industry, with mortgage debt and a bunch of shiny shit I don't need. I went so far as buying my father his own house. Materially, I have whatever I've set my focus on. But that doesn't make me happy. It might have made my father happy if HE had my life. And I think he's realized that now and his ego cannot handle MY success in anything I set my focus on.

And that was my life for a long time. I wouldn't consider it wasteful only because I learned a great deal. There are no mistakes, there are just learnings. The appropriate lesson for me that resonates with this thread is to focus on what I love and what will make me happy. I found a way to manifest more free time by focusing on enjoying more free time instead of focusing on working less, a tool taught to me in my DMT journeys. In my opinion, entheogens should not be used as a crutch but a tool in realizing the true potential of human development and that's how I integrate it. I can say that after my DMT experiences, my perspective, just as many of those here, has been changed unimaginably.

Consider this: An unbalanced, traditionally uneducated, business successful person with faltering relationships, a trying and traumatic childhood, with self destructive tendencies through alcohol abuse exasperating a seething anger within. I was just like the lot, with no idea about anything really. And then... boom. DMT and Ayahuasca.

The moment the DMT elves started teaching ME about quantum mechanics, about concepts I have never heard about or bothered to study, about concepts that would make my life better (pursuit of bedding women and material wealth was most I ever focused on)... that's when I realized my life was a virtual prison I had created for myself with the illusionary bricks, mortar and steel that were manifested for me, by me... inspired by education that is bound by the ignorance of others. Once I realized this, all it took is to want to be free of the non-existent prison. Sometimes we forget, but more and more I allow myself to REMIND myself this fundamental physical law. Balance exists naturally in our universe. It is WE who create the illusion of imbalance by focusing on what we need not focus on.

But that's just me

 

[Macre]

Thank you for your responses. It's interesting to see the different ways in which your lives flow. I think for me, in the future (maybe 5 to 10 years or so) then my balance will change and somehow my career will move back towards my "entheogen life" as I called it (for ease of description).

I think this change will still involve IT, but maybe for an organisation or a cause closer to my other earthly activities. I'll just go with the flow and let what ever happens, happen. For now though, I prefer the work/life balance the way it is, as I greatly enjoy my work, though I also appreciate my spare time when I'm not working.

Outside of work, I think I like my general life balance. I like to have different things to be getting on with. So with all the things I do outside of work, I like to spend enough time on each activity to really enjoy it and get into it, but not so much as to overdo it. This way I manage to make time for and partake in a variety of activities, gaining enjoyment from all, without stagnating.

Peace

Macre