Metta Beshay's take on the cultural baggage that comes with drugs

[Nydex]

Really cool new video by Metta on why some drugs are perceived as bad, and the cultural root of that idea. I love this dude, his content is super informative and balanced:

In general I will always support the idea that it's not the drug that's inherently problematic, but the context and manner in which it is used. To blame drugs is to willingly relinquish responsibility for one's own actions. And this extends beyond the notion of "<drug> ruined my life" - particularly with psychedelics we have seen many instances where they're being anthropomorphized and subsequently blamed, i.e. "the mushrooms told me" or "the DMT entities made me do it" or "LSD pushed me in that direction" or whatever.

I think an important part of the experience is recognizing that whatever major change has taken place is ultimately a manifestation of your inner state, whether conscious or subconscious. The way I see it, psychedelics didn't "teach" you to be an artist, they just showed you how important art is to you, even if you didn't realize it until now, i.e. they didn't "create" the artist in you, they just pulled him closer to the surface so you could recognize him and pull him into reality.

Maybe I'm wrong though, maybe these experiences reach into something far deeper and more profound, and do indeed have the capacity to change you in ways that you would have never otherwise gone through. What do you think?

 

[northape]

Maybe I'm wrong though, maybe these experiences reach into something far deeper and more profound, and do indeed have the capacity to change you in ways that you would have never otherwise gone through. What do you think?

I agree with you. What I like about psychedelics is that they not only bring stuff to the surface, but also give you a clear state of mind to actually see it. Just the act of seeing can produce a shift and change your life. It's not a given though, and depends on what you already have inside or perhaps how mature of a being you are. Even deep mystical experiences are just showing what you are at the core. I believe that our nature is all-good, and any negative tendencies are here mostly because of ignorance.

I often use the term medicine, but you all know that these medicines are drugs. What I'm doing is emphasizing the medicinal aspect of some of them and openly showing my stance here. Maybe cocaine could be a medicine for some. Coca leaf is still used that way and is a big part of Andean culture. So, any stigma actually comes from our own minds, created once again by ignorance. Fear follows, because if something is bad and harmful, you fear it. We care about our survival and well-being in the end.

My main medicine is aya and its analogs. There, you can experience a state that lacks the usual psychedelic fireworks and brings lots of nausea and purification instead. Yet, something gets unhinged in the process and you feel much lighter in both body and mind. So even if you saw nothing, the medicine still did its magic and realigned you with life. It's strange how, after an almost empty ceremony, life starts to flow seamlessly and just feels more open. I assume the work is being done on some deeper (maybe energetic) level that I simply can't see. With time, it fosters trust, and what was once a drug becomes a medicine. It's just a conceptual label that fits better, imo.

 

[rkba]

Could be that it's not you persé that changed, but that the reflected reality around you has changed since your viewpoints/perspectives have changed.

Society, in itself, is little more than a sum of aligned viewpoints. And it is constantly shifting, because viewpoints are constantly changing.

 

[Nydex]

So even if you saw nothing, the medicine still did its magic and realigned you with life. It's strange how, after an almost empty ceremony, life starts to flow seamlessly and just feels more open.

Interesting that you would mention this, since my experience with Aya was quite the contrary, at least for some time. My first ever ceremony was with a rather inexperienced "shaman" and the journey itself had absolutely no visionary aspect to it, but was physically pure torture for hours on end, with waves of overwhelming nausea, difficulty breathing, and feeling like I'm getting crushed into a gigantic energetic vise, followed by a single massive purge at the ~7 hour mark.

The following months of my life were characterized by profound uncertainty, fear, feeling of being lost, and all of this was compounded by me returning to my home town amidst the covid epidemic and working a job that absolutely destroyed me mentally. I was at my wit's end eventually, hopelessly walking into suicidal ideation territory, before I ultimately turned to my old faithful LSD, at which point my life completely flipped around for the better.

Now, did my Aya ceremony play a role in any of that? Perhaps. Maybe it subconsciously guided me to make the choices I made, which ultimately submerged me into a bottomless sea of despair before I was truly hopeless and had to make a choice. Perhaps it was the catalyst for all of this change. To this day, I still have no idea. I frequently look back and try to figure out what exactly did I "get" from this experience, and no clear answer comes. Only questions and blind guesswork.

Maybe I'm not meant to understand why I went through that torture. Perhaps it's better that way. Perhaps even that's the whole point - to teach me to trust the process, even if I fail to find a logical thread to pull on in my effort to unravel this puzzle.

Which just brings me back to a point I've expressed many times already - few people really know how this thing works. For most of us it might as well be magic. And those that truly know how it works (if they even exist) wouldn't say a word about it anyway, in honor of the old adage "...those who know don't speak."

 

[rkba]

Nobody knows, which is giving us the freedom to Create however we see fit. Magical.

 

[northape]

Interesting that you would mention this, since my experience with Aya was quite the contrary, at least for some time. My first ever ceremony was with a rather inexperienced "shaman" and the journey itself had absolutely no visionary aspect to it, but was physically pure torture for hours on end, with waves of overwhelming nausea, difficulty breathing, and feeling like I'm getting crushed into a gigantic energetic vise, followed by a single massive purge at the ~7 hour mark.

The following months of my life were characterized by profound uncertainty, fear, feeling of being lost, and all of this was compounded by me returning to my home town amidst the covid epidemic and working a job that absolutely destroyed me mentally. I was at my wit's end eventually, hopelessly walking into suicidal ideation territory, before I ultimately turned to my old faithful LSD, at which point my life completely flipped around for the better.

Now, did my Aya ceremony play a role in any of that? Perhaps. Maybe it subconsciously guided me to make the choices I made, which ultimately submerged me into a bottomless sea of despair before I was truly hopeless and had to make a choice. Perhaps it was the catalyst for all of this change. To this day, I still have no idea. I frequently look back and try to figure out what exactly did I "get" from this experience, and no clear answer comes. Only questions and blind guesswork.

Maybe I'm not meant to understand why I went through that torture. Perhaps it's better that way. Perhaps even that's the whole point - to teach me to trust the process, even if I fail to find a logical thread to pull on in my effort to unravel this puzzle.

Which just brings me back to a point I've expressed many times already - few people really know how this thing works. For most of us it might as well be magic. And those that truly know how it works (if they even exist) wouldn't say a word about it anyway, in honor of the old adage "...those who know don't speak."

Yes, that's how Aya works, and why many dislike it. It would rather bring intense suffering into your life that leads to change. Purging after 7h is a good sign.
Aya tries to remove blocks and negativity by purging them out. That's why the longer you hold it, the deeper it goes. So a purge at the end of a ceremony usually means that it worked its way to the core elements of the psyche. Hearing your story, it seems to be the case.

I have no idea how Aya does it. Most likely, that's actually some form of energetic realignment that forces you into a new reality. I've seen ceremonies that led to the aforementioned easy flow of life, while others forced me to confront my issues. One thing is certain: Aya goes very deep and doesn't give a F about what you want. It's a true medicine to the core. Rue is much gentler and more straightforward in comparison.

My last ceremony of 2025 was horrific, and many people would regard it as bad, but I got the most out of it. It transformed my life path and helped me avoid tons of mistakes. I'm a believer that true maturation always goes through a period of suffering. It seems that's how life functions. I call it "karma burning" because afterward, you're presented with an outlook that was simply impossible before. It may sound strange, but I'm glad that you went through it all and found new ground to stand on. The journey continues...

Much love

 

[Nydex]

It may sound strange, but I'm glad that you went through it all and found new ground to stand on.

It doesn't sound strange at all. Just like you, I believe the road to maturity is paved with suffering. I have not turned my back on Aya just because of how difficult my first (and technically only) experience was. In fact, I have planned to do a 1-week long retreat in Spain next year that will consist of a purge, then two Aya ceremonies, with a San Pedro ceremony sandwiched in between them. No phones, no talking to anyone but an integration therapist. Full immersion into the transformative process. I have a good friend that has been there several times and every time he comes back, he claims it is perhaps the most profoundly healing, difficult, and transformative experience one could possibly go through. I've seen him change over the years. Aya pulled him from the hands of death itself and gave him a new life.

I'm committed. My intuition is screaming at me to, in the words of uncle Terry, "hurl myself into the abyss and trust that it's a featherbed".

 

[northape]

It doesn't sound strange at all. Just like you, I believe the road to maturity is paved with suffering. I have not turned my back on Aya just because of how difficult my first (and technically only) experience was. In fact, I have planned to do a 1-week long retreat in Spain next year that will consist of a purge, then two Aya ceremonies, with a San Pedro ceremony sandwiched in between them. No phones, no talking to anyone but an integration therapist. Full immersion into the transformative process. I have a good friend that has been there several times and every time he comes back, he claims it is perhaps the most profoundly healing, difficult, and transformative experience one could possibly go through. I've seen him change over the years. Aya pulled him from the hands of death itself and gave him a new life.

I'm committed. My intuition is screaming at me to, in the words of uncle Terry, "hurl myself into the abyss and trust that it's a featherbed".

I'm glad you're still on the Aya train. Some people never go back, or go back but never trust it and stay on the surface. Aya is like an engine that keeps building momentum, and it's extremely difficult to hold it in, especially if you have some body-mind issues. When it finishes its job, there is a climax - the purge. People are too focused on the psychedelic state that comes after, but the main event is the purge (at least for us modern folk).

Aya's teachings mostly come after the ceremony and simply manifest in your own life - strange synchronicities, dreams, new directions. I feel that's why you don't need to drink it all the time; just come back when you feel the call. That's my approach to it. What I use for maintenance is rue. Rue is a different beast altogether, even if they share a similar alkaloid profile. Talk about plant spirits, hehe. Rue is much more homey, cheerful, light, and easier to work with. Yet, it never goes as deep. What they do share is an emphasis on psychic cleanliness and energetic balance.