mom learned i've smoked dmt and thinks im a junkie now

[sleepypelican]

"Perhaps proving to her that your not a drug addict would help the situation? take a month break, go to NA meetings, show her that drugs are not an all consuming aspect of your life. If this is too hard to do, maybe she might be on to something...? "

His mother is on to something if he refuses to go to NA meetings because she snoops into his private life and finds out he smoked DMT 4 times? I say grab your balls and move on, rather than submit to some NA crap when you really don't belong there. Rather than waste the resources, save that spot for someone who might actually benefit from being there.

Parents(usually) choose to have kids. That choice should imo include accepting that like everyone else, they're own children will at some point outgrow they're parents expectations/standards and strive to understand and respect them, instead of condemning them based on faery tales. DMT is not physically addictive, nor is it toxic or physically harmful. You don't become a junkie from taking DMT. This is just a naïve mindset based on an extremely dumbed down and ignorant perception of "drugs" portrayed in our culture. Most peoples understanding of "drugs" goes about as far as a 6 year olds understanding of sex. Why accomidate for more ignorance?..rather people(especially people who raise other people), should have enough conviction to want to rely on facts and proper education rather than media hype horror stories.

Like I said, that would be really weird and not normal, for a grown man to have to bow down to how his mom wishes him to be when it is based on fantasy and not reality in the first place. There is a reason why when you turn 18 you are responsible for your actions.

Going to NA is likely only going to reinforce her belief that he is some kind of crack head. There are better ways to show people who you really are than putting on some mask they want to fit your face into.

I never said I thought he was addic ted to DMT....I know its not addictive. The two other substances he mentioned are another story....

i think destroying somthing like a family tie over drugs is a pretty big step, even if the person is ignorant about the facts about drug use. I'm not saying bow down to her every whim, but if its a choice between showing your mother your not a drug addict and ruining your relationship with your mother over your drug use, I think family might come first. DMT will always be there for you. Your mom might not.
I wholeheartdly agree with Jamie and the rest when they say it sounds like its time for you to move on from your parents house and perhaps this issue wouldnt have to be disscussed with your mother, the same way you wouldnt talk about your sex life with your mother. Having your own life in your own house i think would solve a lot of the issues.

it's not like shes mad because her son is on some kind of spiritual journey, which i feel like his DMT use is being portrayed on here, shes angry because her son is using schedule 1 substances while living under her roof. No matter how harmless DMT is, you still go to jail for possesing it.

 

[magickalex]

"its not real! its a drug!"

drugs aren't real? what, does she think they are imaginary?
and tell her 'junk' is heroin, hence 'junkies' are heroin addicts.

she was refering to the experience not being real after me trying to explain my reasons for being interested in DMT in the first place.

'it's just a hallucination' 'theres nothing spiritual about it!' 'its a drug, not a way to see god' type stuff

 

[magickalex]

"Perhaps proving to her that your not a drug addict would help the situation? take a month break, go to NA meetings, show her that drugs are not an all consuming aspect of your life. If this is too hard to do, maybe she might be on to something...? "

His mother is on to something if he refuses to go to NA meetings because she snoops into his private life and finds out he smoked DMT 4 times? I say grab your balls and move on, rather than submit to some NA crap when you really don't belong there. Rather than waste the resources, save that spot for someone who might actually benefit from being there.

Parents(usually) choose to have kids. That choice should imo include accepting that like everyone else, they're own children will at some point outgrow they're parents expectations/standards and strive to understand and respect them, instead of condemning them based on faery tales. DMT is not physically addictive, nor is it toxic or physically harmful. You don't become a junkie from taking DMT. This is just a naïve mindset based on an extremely dumbed down and ignorant perception of "drugs" portrayed in our culture. Most peoples understanding of "drugs" goes about as far as a 6 year olds understanding of sex. Why accomidate for more ignorance?..rather people(especially people who raise other people), should have enough conviction to want to rely on facts and proper education rather than media hype horror stories.

Like I said, that would be really weird and not normal, for a grown man to have to bow down to how his mom wishes him to be when it is based on fantasy and not reality in the first place. There is a reason why when you turn 18 you are responsible for your actions.

Going to NA is likely only going to reinforce her belief that he is some kind of crack head. There are better ways to show people who you really are than putting on some mask they want to fit your face into.

I never said I thought he was addic ted to DMT....I know its not addictive. The two other substances he mentioned are another story....

i think destroying somthing like a family tie over drugs is a pretty big step, even if the person is ignorant about the facts about drug use. I'm not saying bow down to her every whim, but if its a choice between showing your mother your not a drug addict and ruining your relationship with your mother over your drug use, I think family might come first. DMT will always be there for you. Your mom might not.
I wholeheartdly agree with Jamie and the rest when they say it sounds like its time for you to move on from your parents house and perhaps this issue wouldnt have to be disscussed with your mother, the same way you wouldnt talk about your sex life with your mother. Having your own life in your own house i think would solve a lot of the issues.

well the issue with her isn't the alcohol or cannabis. she used to smoke cannabis regularly herself and has even enjoyed a blunt with me on a couple of occasions.she also has no problem with my use of alcohol since i am of age and do not abuse it.

her issue is the DMT alone.

i'm not mad at her. i understand that she is irrational. its just frustrating. i'm not going to let it ruin our relationship and i have been talking to her. its just frustrating having somone worry about you so much when their fears are so irrational. it puts a very unnecessary dark cloud in my life. but as mentioned before i should be glad that she loves and cares for me as much as she does. she means good. i still wish she didnt think i was a "druggie" as she called me. but oh well. my future will tell her otherwise.

and everything happens for a reason.

i have been kicked out but i was planning on moving a few months anyway, geuss it was meant for me to go sooner than later.

 

[Jin]

why don't you just lie , go ahead and tell her that due to further thinking on the subject you've decided to quit every substance

then when its time just load up a bowl and go to hyperspace :twisted:

keeping you use private might be a good idea ,

there is no use creating such turmoil in ones own life and the life of the loved ones , just lie and help ease their anxiety ,

some might say honesty is the best policy , yet common sense goes a long way

 

[magickalex]

why don't you just lie , go ahead and tell her that due to further thinking on the subject you've decided to quit every substance

then when its time just load up a bowl and go to hyperspace :twisted:

keeping you use private might be a good idea ,

she probably still wouldnt believe me. she is seriously paranoid and wwill build up a huge story in her head based off of small details. for instance when she read my texts and found out i had done DMT she automatically assumed its somthing i do all the time and was like 'theres no telling what kind of people youve been letting in my house and doing this stuff with!'
she even ent so far as crazily asking if i was gay bci didnt have a girlfriend (despite the fact that she found a girl asleep on top of me about a month ago) and accused me of doing drugs because i was in denial about being gay.
and the first time i talked to my mom after being kicked out she asked here i had been staying and i told her the friend i am staying with and she was like 'i know he's doing DMT too", desite the fact that this man doesnt do any drugs at all and wont even touch pot for fear of freaking out.
believe me, i was trying to keep my use private. i knew she wouldnt understand. she brought her worry upon herself by snooping through my texts and reading things she doesnt understand that helped falsely fulfil her paranoia about me being a secret drug addict.

 

[hug46]

If your mother smokes pot why not ask her the reasons why she partakes. And if she explains why, you may find some common ground on what you both hope to achieve by taking drugs.
If nothing else it will start a dialogue on why some different people prefer and trust some drugs over others. Maybe she is paranoid about your DMT use because she smokes pot.

 

[sleepypelican]

Um whats up with the whole gay thing? Lol where did she get that idea? Your mom must of had some really bad experience with drugs, like knowing someone whos ruined there lives with drugs or something, to be harboring all these strange connotations regarding drugs

 

[magickalex]

Um whats up with the whole gay thing? Lol where did she get that idea? Your mom must of had some really bad experience with drugs, like knowing someone whos ruined there lives with drugs or something, to be harboring all these strange connotations regarding drugs

her ex-marine fiance said that he thought a friend of mine who's really shy is gay...and i geuss th fact that im almost 23 and ddont have a girlfriend...but yea, just an example of how she builds up these huge conclusions and fears about things in her head.

i think what scares her about DMT is the fact that it totally lays you out and takes you out of this reality for like 20 minutes. i think she views it as me trying to escape life like a heroine addict...

i should also mention that wwhen my mom did smoke pot (about 3 years ago) she came across alittle DMT laced damiana a friend had sent me and when she questioned me as to what it was i told her salvia bc i just wwanted to keep it as natural and legal as possible (i didnt want to say DMT bc i kneww thatwould just sound like some crazy drug to her.) she forced me to let her try it bc she wanted to know what kind of drug i was doing...well i gave her a hit. (should have just hid it)

she laid back and started saying 'stop it stop it oh god' and i just said 'do not fight the experience just let it come over you and relax into it and it will be over before you know it'. i went and hid my spice bc i knew this wasnt going to end up good at this point.

when she came out of it she looked at me like a mad woman and said 'promis me you will never do that again! that wwas the most horrible thing ive ever done in my life! why would anyone willingly subject themselves to that?'she tried to make me give it to hr but i refused. she continuously tried to get me to promise never to do it again.

she told me the other day that her experience smoking that really made her scared for my life.

 

[benzyme]

'it's just a hallucination' 'theres nothing spiritual about it!' 'its a drug, not a way to see god' type stuff

how would she know?

people see "god-type" stuff in an altered state (some people are like that normally, but
for some reason, people call that "abnormal" ). DMT also creates an altered state.

motherly love aside, your mother, like lots of mommies, have a predisposed notion regarding such substances, perpetuated by a fear induced through sensationalist media, and a lack of critical thinking.

besides that, she just doesn't want you to be led "down the wrong path", probably her greatest fear.

 

[Jin]

hey magickalex , i understand you're in a tough situation since lie-ing does'nt work for you the only alternative is to behave like an adult

what i mean is when our parents start behaving like children , the only thing we can do is start behaving like adults and help them understand

it might be best if you can laugh this over , if my mother would be asking me about my drug use i'll probably be laughing and telling her not to worry much

i believe only real adults can laugh , children are more fearful and afraid to laugh over intense situations

considering your mother is paranoid about your drug use and sexuality , its best to laugh with her when talking about all this , this laughter will ease her making her think that perhaps things are much better than she has thought about

i have always used my laughter in intense situations to relieve the anxiety of people around me , this is very relaxing and the sign of a true adult

the big man laughs , and this laughter spreads

no need to treat this situation as intensely as you're doing now , try to create a more relaxed attitude about all this

next time she asks you whether youre doing drugs or about your sexuality - instead of answering just laugh and tell her its all good , never give a straight answer when faced with tough issues just laugh and say something silly like - its cool , no need to worry or something sillier

this might just instill some respect in her for you , this will tell her you're grown up

also sometimes laughter might be too intrusive in that case just smile , also hugging them and telling them not to worry when asked tough questions also works

 

[jamie]

You mother sounds like she has some unhealthy issues, possibly fear/prejudice of homosexual people..and is projecting that onto you. Why would it matter weather or not you are gay? Suddenly you are gay now because she suspects you are friends with a gay person? Honestly, from what you described above that just sounds like she has some issues with gay people that she should work out on her own and not be putting on you. It's absolutely discusting to try to make that correlation. You have a friend that some guy thinks is gay, and you take psychedelics, so suddenly your some junkie trying to hide from your own homosexuality? Come on. That's pathetic.

Just get on with your life. That does not sound like a healthy environment to be in at 23.

 

[Metanoia]

My situation in my early twenties sounds very similar to yours. Even including the homophobia. I left and put some distance between myself and my parents. I'm just beginning to build a relationship with my mother again.

Sounds like getting out on your own and being independent is where you should be headed. Just take a little time to yourself and let your mother work some of her issues out for herself.

I wish you the best of luck! :thumb_up:

 

[hixidom]

Why not humor her and talk to the ex-meth addict (who certainly knows the difference between addiction and your situation)? The ex-addict might just side with you on this and help you set your mother straight. If the ex-addict sides with your mother, then you have the opportunity to reform 2 people rather than 1 (not so wonderful an opportunity, come to think of it).

Otherwise, there's not much I can do without addressing your mother directly. If your mother is willing to sit down and have a serious conversation about spirituality, it should not be hard for you to help her get to the root of her misunderstanding. If she is at all spiritual then she should understand that spiritual experience is very personal. She may not believe that DMT brings you closer to something sacred, but she should respect the experience because it is sacred to you and always will be. In the meantime, her treading on it is unconstructive and bad for your relationship.

 

[anrchy]

I don't like your mom

 

[expandaneum]

wow so many people here with mommy issues, really fascinating :d

You wanting her to accept your behavior and her wanting you to conform to her way of thinking. This is normal behavior and will lead to you moving out.

Also Dmt is not without dangers for everyone (now way of telling before you start) and like every substance can be misused (like telling someone that it's something else and then give them a hit ).

 

[SpartanII]

wow so many people here with mommy issues, really fascinating :d

We all love our mommies, right?

It took a while before I could get my mom to vaporize weed. Give it some time.

She may never understand, but she is your mother. RESPECT.

 

[Infundibulum]

i should also mention that wwhen my mom did smoke pot (about 3 years ago) she came across alittle DMT laced damiana a friend had sent me and when she questioned me as to what it was i told her salvia bc i just wwanted to keep it as natural and legal as possible (i didnt want to say DMT bc i kneww thatwould just sound like some crazy drug to her.) she forced me to let her try it bc she wanted to know what kind of drug i was doing...well i gave her a hit. (should have just hid it)

she laid back and started saying 'stop it stop it oh god' and i just said 'do not fight the experience just let it come over you and relax into it and it will be over before you know it'. i went and hid my spice bc i knew this wasnt going to end up good at this point.

when she came out of it she looked at me like a mad woman and said 'promis me you will never do that again! that wwas the most horrible thing ive ever done in my life! why would anyone willingly subject themselves to that?'she tried to make me give it to hr but i refused. she continuously tried to get me to promise never to do it again.

she told me the other day that her experience smoking that really made her scared for my life.

I can't say that your handling of the situation was the best in the story above, possibly triggering your mother's further suspicion and disapproval towards new drugs. Adding to that, it was quite a bad and dishonest introduction of dmt to her.

Anyway, regardless of whether your mother smokes pot, older people and especially parents can be very conservative, including obviously their drugs of choice. What your mothers sees is a new drug fad called dmt which she doesn't know, she doesn't understand and she doesn't quite get it really. And the fact that dmt comes comes as a whiteish, plasticky smelling powder is not really gonna win any applauds.

Thinking if it I would be equally alarmed if my children were using, say 20 years from now, another drug unknown to the scene today that has hundreds of years of ritualistic use in e.g. Indochina jungles...Granted, as I think of it now I would research it further and would have a good chat with my children, but I would be very concerned nevertheless.

 

[expandaneum]

We all love our mommies, right?

exactly what I meant

 

[The Neural]

wow so many people here with mommy issues, really fascinating :d

:thumb_up:

maybe everyone can ease up a bit on demonizing this person's mother? Himself is trying to defend her against all your anger towards her, despite the fact that he is in a bad situation, that should say something at least. Have some respect for people you do not know, and reduce your projecting of other people you have encountered in your life that "remind" you of her. Deal with your issues on your own time, thus avoiding badmouthing a family member that you have never met.

Great "understanding" and "acceptance" this DMT has empowered you with...

 

[Philosopher]

Most people in this time period just will never know the truth about psychedelics, and thats life. Government propaganda has permanently converted most americans to be against all drugs. It is a messy situation, when parents think they have a kid on drugs they automatically think that kid is addicted, or in trouble, or getting into trouble with his friends that also do drugs. The only hope for a kid who likes psychedelics, like me, is to learn as much as possible, and start by educating your friends, they will actually listen. Once you've gotten enough of a solid argument down for the legitimate use of certain non-toxic plant constituents. She may fear DMT because it is a chemical, not an actual plant. Although it comes from a plant, so does heroin, and just the fact that it is a plant doesn't make it safe, but if it is a safe plant, then there is no reason to associate a sunflower with a poppy plant. Show her the logical fallacies, take apart her argument piece by piece, showing her that you are truly listening and not just trying to convince her she's wrong.