AquaSpirit
Esteemed member
First Steps
We’re diving straight into a mystical experience here. To set the scene, imagine a totally weird context (don’t recommend it): a makeshift setting = my secret weekend apartment where I’d spend whole days like a bat eating instant noodles, dark and small. And then the questionable setup = unstable state, coming out of a mental funk, lots of personal work that stirs things up, plus a life in prep school with all the exhaustion that comes with it. A perfect recipe for a shattered nervous system, right? Thankfully, things went differently after this first experience.
Oh, by the way, it was my first time trying something like this. I was raised in a broken environment and had all sorts of preconceived notions about taking things... Naturally, I was pretty anxious and scared. This was supposed to be amazingthough! And, as a young person, my solution to fear is sometimes arrogance. Let me tell you right now: never be arrogant with the five. Be humble. If someone tells you you're wrong, it's not your problem. If you're arrogant with this substance, the smackdown can be intense! I’m glad I have a “good nature,” as people say, and quickly realized I’d have to surrender and stay as calm as possible.
The set and setting turned out to be a blessing in this situation—very ceremonial and methodical, despite everything. The guide went first to show me the process... Honestly, I thought, “LOL, this won’t even last an hour, it’ll be chill.”
It was reassuring to see someone go before me, though. But there’s always a fundamental difference between an adept and a disciple: experience and surrender. When I saw the “ceremony” unfold, I thought, more than once, that it was crazy and amazing at the same time. It was strange to hear someone making very odd sounds… Then, when the Erlen (vessel) passed in front of me 30 minutes later, I felt bizarrely ready and motivated. I breathed in. Then, I laid down gently while hearing the advice “Hold.” I had to try to hold the gas and then exhale it all in one go. Naturally, my body quickly became uncontrollable and I exhaled everything from my lungs. And then: total unconsciousness. BLANK MIND!
In less than 10 seconds, it was like an explosion in my body, all my cells. It felt like the whole room had breathed at once. Matter became nothing but particles traveling at the speed of light. I couldn’t even feel the material aspect of my surroundings. It lasted 10 seconds, but felt like hours. And suddenly: silence.
A calm, with the feeling of being pulled violently in all directions. That’s where things get blurry. It was like a 10-minute sleep, where I apparently got up, saying, "I need to get out of here," and stumbled towards the door, panicked, heading outside. Reality no longer existed. This door was the escape from my deepest hell. It felt almost vital to breathe air. But I couldn’t get out in that state! I had to find a way to lie back down and relax. I had to scream very loudly, luckily it was an inner scream. My ears were holding me back. On the outside, I was silent, mouth wide open, feeling everything escape and pass through me. I even vomited without material—it was insane. After that, I slowly came back to myself, carried by a softer sensation of action, and my legs danced without me being able to control them. Until I was exhausted.
Finally, a return to the deepest PEACE. That was it: the most aligned psyche I’ve ever known in the face of an inexplicable and explosive peace.
Cerremonies and learning
The thing with these ceremonies is that I’ve done so many, I’ve lost count . Each time, the set and setting got better, more organized.
The doses range from 6 to 12, rarely more or less. Below 8-10, the ego doesn’t completely leave. It’s a different kind of work, and you feel things circulating in the body. But beyond that, the difference is monumental. It’s always a transcendent experience, a bit like the first time, but maybe better due to surrender, perspective, and the improved set-and-setting. And, of course, humility!
The 6 to 9 barrier: On small or medium doses, over time and with tolerance, it’s more manageable. The journey stays quite conscious and relatively aligned. It’s hard to describe because it’s not as mystical as the rest. It’s more like a progressive vision of structure or a piece of the internal psyche. A lot of purification happens here.
The 9 to 12 barrier: The most interesting and almost untouchable, very mystical: the art of transcendence. It’s always that sensation of alignment but with a forced dissolution caused by an overwhelming feeling of weightlessness that pierces through the body, mind, and spirit. A vision of the absolute and especially the VOID. A vast white void that’s entirely alive.
The place where everything emerges and disappears. Nothing exists in time or space. It’s witnessing nothingness as you explore it. It’s almost scary when you realize you’re just an illusion. It’s like seeing yourself in the mirror but with no form. It’s as if you looked deeply at yourself from this white void, from an eye, a gaze that doesn’t even exist! Inexpressible.
At times, you could take this sensation as a light at the end of the tunnel and decide to settle there. There are always lingering fears that we give a little importance to—these mechanisms sometimes help bring us back to Earth when they’re not there to make us dissociate. That’s what spoke to me. A deep fear of dying, of wondering what happens next?
If I just surrender, right here, right now? As if the mystery was so massive, so close, that it couldn’t be that simple. Behind this refusal to surrender to the vastness, something even more curious exists: that’s what allowed me to return with infinite gratitude. I think I met death in a completely mystical way that has nothing to do with the concepts we usually associate with it. In fact, I call it death because there wouldn’t be a “me” to talk about it or have an “experience” if I had fully surrendered. It seems inconceivable.
I could also call it Life. There’s no boundary between these two concepts in these sensations. No fundamental difference. No duality. That’s where the idea of oneness, the unity or uniqueness often discussed with mushrooms, comes into play. With five, unlike DMT, this sense of unity is not experienced through union but through inversion.
To try to explain it... it’s like flipping black and white on a photo and then stripping away all the color, making it neither white nor black. It’s not a fusion here! It’s a subtraction! Instead of merging with the material—like my body and the bed or an tree in nature—it’s a subtraction to zero (interesting that mathematically zero doesn’t exist). Rather than feeling a fusion with the material, you experience things through superimposed subtraction on a single undifferentiated plane.
Final thoughts:
I’m stopping here. This almost brought it all back to life for me, and mentally, it’s impossible to fully grasp. Sorry if I wasn’t able to maintain a coherent narrative, and if this seems too far out there. It’s incredibly complex to describe objectively. If I feel inspired, maybe I’ll revisit this text one day. Stay tuned! Maybe I’ll be able to share more.
I think this is a good place to conclude for now. I tried to keep it simple and open for dialogue. Unlike many, no, I don’t think it’s as hardcore as it seems, though it’s definitely the most intense thing I’ve tried. But again, it’s not my ultimate success. This peace and alignment, sure, I need that—but it doesn’t directly echo what I am at my core. So it’s still fascinating. I suspect, after a certain dosage, the effects might approach the transcendence of DMT but with much less visuals (though I did have some). And especially, like I tried to express, a different take on the concept of ONE. This was something that worked for me because I’ve always had good trips—never a full-blown bad experience or anything.
I even fell asleep under the influence once.
Sometimes these trips can last a full hour. After the first times, the effects lingered in my body (maybe in a state of self-induced sensory hallucination) for about 3 days. I recommend having a lot of humility when taking it, not doing anything reckless, and especially taking care of your neurophysiological health, because I’ve noticed it can be pretty heavy on the brain.
I wouldn't go as far as to say that the substance is deadly in itself, I don't know, but with even a slightly high dose, you can reach states of "consciousness drop" where you die while still being alive, so it's impossible to know if anything is actually happening on the surface. It can also be very taxing on the body's circulatory systems.
We’re diving straight into a mystical experience here. To set the scene, imagine a totally weird context (don’t recommend it): a makeshift setting = my secret weekend apartment where I’d spend whole days like a bat eating instant noodles, dark and small. And then the questionable setup = unstable state, coming out of a mental funk, lots of personal work that stirs things up, plus a life in prep school with all the exhaustion that comes with it. A perfect recipe for a shattered nervous system, right? Thankfully, things went differently after this first experience.
Oh, by the way, it was my first time trying something like this. I was raised in a broken environment and had all sorts of preconceived notions about taking things... Naturally, I was pretty anxious and scared. This was supposed to be amazingthough! And, as a young person, my solution to fear is sometimes arrogance. Let me tell you right now: never be arrogant with the five. Be humble. If someone tells you you're wrong, it's not your problem. If you're arrogant with this substance, the smackdown can be intense! I’m glad I have a “good nature,” as people say, and quickly realized I’d have to surrender and stay as calm as possible.
The set and setting turned out to be a blessing in this situation—very ceremonial and methodical, despite everything. The guide went first to show me the process... Honestly, I thought, “LOL, this won’t even last an hour, it’ll be chill.”
It was reassuring to see someone go before me, though. But there’s always a fundamental difference between an adept and a disciple: experience and surrender. When I saw the “ceremony” unfold, I thought, more than once, that it was crazy and amazing at the same time. It was strange to hear someone making very odd sounds… Then, when the Erlen (vessel) passed in front of me 30 minutes later, I felt bizarrely ready and motivated. I breathed in. Then, I laid down gently while hearing the advice “Hold.” I had to try to hold the gas and then exhale it all in one go. Naturally, my body quickly became uncontrollable and I exhaled everything from my lungs. And then: total unconsciousness. BLANK MIND!
In less than 10 seconds, it was like an explosion in my body, all my cells. It felt like the whole room had breathed at once. Matter became nothing but particles traveling at the speed of light. I couldn’t even feel the material aspect of my surroundings. It lasted 10 seconds, but felt like hours. And suddenly: silence.
A calm, with the feeling of being pulled violently in all directions. That’s where things get blurry. It was like a 10-minute sleep, where I apparently got up, saying, "I need to get out of here," and stumbled towards the door, panicked, heading outside. Reality no longer existed. This door was the escape from my deepest hell. It felt almost vital to breathe air. But I couldn’t get out in that state! I had to find a way to lie back down and relax. I had to scream very loudly, luckily it was an inner scream. My ears were holding me back. On the outside, I was silent, mouth wide open, feeling everything escape and pass through me. I even vomited without material—it was insane. After that, I slowly came back to myself, carried by a softer sensation of action, and my legs danced without me being able to control them. Until I was exhausted.
Finally, a return to the deepest PEACE. That was it: the most aligned psyche I’ve ever known in the face of an inexplicable and explosive peace.
Cerremonies and learning
The thing with these ceremonies is that I’ve done so many, I’ve lost count . Each time, the set and setting got better, more organized.
The doses range from 6 to 12, rarely more or less. Below 8-10, the ego doesn’t completely leave. It’s a different kind of work, and you feel things circulating in the body. But beyond that, the difference is monumental. It’s always a transcendent experience, a bit like the first time, but maybe better due to surrender, perspective, and the improved set-and-setting. And, of course, humility!
The 6 to 9 barrier: On small or medium doses, over time and with tolerance, it’s more manageable. The journey stays quite conscious and relatively aligned. It’s hard to describe because it’s not as mystical as the rest. It’s more like a progressive vision of structure or a piece of the internal psyche. A lot of purification happens here.
The 9 to 12 barrier: The most interesting and almost untouchable, very mystical: the art of transcendence. It’s always that sensation of alignment but with a forced dissolution caused by an overwhelming feeling of weightlessness that pierces through the body, mind, and spirit. A vision of the absolute and especially the VOID. A vast white void that’s entirely alive.
The place where everything emerges and disappears. Nothing exists in time or space. It’s witnessing nothingness as you explore it. It’s almost scary when you realize you’re just an illusion. It’s like seeing yourself in the mirror but with no form. It’s as if you looked deeply at yourself from this white void, from an eye, a gaze that doesn’t even exist! Inexpressible.
At times, you could take this sensation as a light at the end of the tunnel and decide to settle there. There are always lingering fears that we give a little importance to—these mechanisms sometimes help bring us back to Earth when they’re not there to make us dissociate. That’s what spoke to me. A deep fear of dying, of wondering what happens next?
If I just surrender, right here, right now? As if the mystery was so massive, so close, that it couldn’t be that simple. Behind this refusal to surrender to the vastness, something even more curious exists: that’s what allowed me to return with infinite gratitude. I think I met death in a completely mystical way that has nothing to do with the concepts we usually associate with it. In fact, I call it death because there wouldn’t be a “me” to talk about it or have an “experience” if I had fully surrendered. It seems inconceivable.
I could also call it Life. There’s no boundary between these two concepts in these sensations. No fundamental difference. No duality. That’s where the idea of oneness, the unity or uniqueness often discussed with mushrooms, comes into play. With five, unlike DMT, this sense of unity is not experienced through union but through inversion.
To try to explain it... it’s like flipping black and white on a photo and then stripping away all the color, making it neither white nor black. It’s not a fusion here! It’s a subtraction! Instead of merging with the material—like my body and the bed or an tree in nature—it’s a subtraction to zero (interesting that mathematically zero doesn’t exist). Rather than feeling a fusion with the material, you experience things through superimposed subtraction on a single undifferentiated plane.
Final thoughts:
I’m stopping here. This almost brought it all back to life for me, and mentally, it’s impossible to fully grasp. Sorry if I wasn’t able to maintain a coherent narrative, and if this seems too far out there. It’s incredibly complex to describe objectively. If I feel inspired, maybe I’ll revisit this text one day. Stay tuned! Maybe I’ll be able to share more.
I think this is a good place to conclude for now. I tried to keep it simple and open for dialogue. Unlike many, no, I don’t think it’s as hardcore as it seems, though it’s definitely the most intense thing I’ve tried. But again, it’s not my ultimate success. This peace and alignment, sure, I need that—but it doesn’t directly echo what I am at my core. So it’s still fascinating. I suspect, after a certain dosage, the effects might approach the transcendence of DMT but with much less visuals (though I did have some). And especially, like I tried to express, a different take on the concept of ONE. This was something that worked for me because I’ve always had good trips—never a full-blown bad experience or anything.
I even fell asleep under the influence once.
Sometimes these trips can last a full hour. After the first times, the effects lingered in my body (maybe in a state of self-induced sensory hallucination) for about 3 days. I recommend having a lot of humility when taking it, not doing anything reckless, and especially taking care of your neurophysiological health, because I’ve noticed it can be pretty heavy on the brain.
I wouldn't go as far as to say that the substance is deadly in itself, I don't know, but with even a slightly high dose, you can reach states of "consciousness drop" where you die while still being alive, so it's impossible to know if anything is actually happening on the surface. It can also be very taxing on the body's circulatory systems.
