A DMT trip report.
Nov 8th, 2025. Evening-night.
Weight 100kg
Amount vaped: ¾ of a 700mg cart over a 90 minute period.
From my Journal.
Trying to relay a DMT experience is difficult, at best. But when one receives a gift such as I did this weekend, words, indeed the concepts of language are poorly equipped to even hint at the exquisite perfection of the experience of complete dissolution of self. In fact words, thoughts even the concept of codified meaning had no place there (or here, or everywhere or …what?).
Most of my experiences with DMT are closer to the standard DMT trips at large: That is to say, for me, an all-encompassing hum, like a didgeridoo the size of the solar system, mixed with every voice in history all sounding out a perfect ‘’OHM'’ all at once, a wave or 'wall' of energy crashing over me from behind, Aztek feelings, Jaguar energy, ever changing muti-leveled creations of multidimensional beauty. These doses were usually in the range of 2 or 3 pulls of between 12-17 secs each or so on a 1:1 ratio cart at 4.2 volts on the Yocan Uni pro 3.0. This is more than enough for breakthrough doses for me. Over the course of the last years, I have gone to the DMT space about once a week, in a kind or religious communion. Of course, these trips were and are all worthy of a trip report, each a glorious and special exploration, and I do keep a journal of all my experiences, but the one I am about to relay is qualitatively, and spiritually different form all the other DMT experiences I have had. Some of the trips I have had fall into the ‘’entity’’ type encounters, with a many '‘shaman / healing’’ experiences as well. I have been called to vocalize many times too, to interact with the environment I was in, but I cannot reproduce the sounds my vocal chords make in the DMT space, while back in the real world. I cannot create overtones in regular consciousness the way I can in the DMT state. I cannot access the bass tones or soprano sounds that I can create while in DMT land. So, in all , I would say the last 30-40 or so trips have been more or less exactly along these lines. More than incredible for those who have never tried DMT, but for the more experienced readers here at the Nexus, hardly anything new for you.
Back to our story.
We have been doing a ‘stepped’ approach to DMT. It alleviates most if not all of the tension and nerves that usually precede a DMT pull. What we do now, is a ‘handshake’ hit first. I take a good 6-7 seconds pull of the cart, knowing full well I will not do more for the moment, and sit back for the light show. This dose is not enough for a breakthrough for me, but it is enough to let me have a ‘taste’ of the trip to come, should I choose to continue. Also, since I have made the conscious decision to do ONLY that small hit, I get no fear, palpitations, or apprehension at all. No ‘shaking hand on the pipe’ syndrome! This was my first run on a new cart, and it was full of crystals. I had to warm it in my hands for many minutes first. This handshake went through the customary visions I seem to get on my way in to the DMT world, and then it transformed. The overall feeling was one of the Buddha. Not of animal spirits, ancient cultures, concentrated meaning, fractals, kaleidoscopes or entities. Just a silhouette of a cyberpunk-type Buddha. Lotus position, in meditation.
I came back and looked at the unopened can of Heineken on the table, and the big joint I had prepped. I told my buddy to put my beer back in the fridge, as I was going to do another trip, and I don’t mix booze or weed with DMT. Neither does he.
As we were getting ready for a proper hit, I put ‘Know Thyself’ by ‘Suns of Arqa’’ on play on the sound system, and as the flute started to play, I took my first hits. 1 big hit of around 15-17 secs, held it for a bit, then took another big 15 second hit right away. Laid back and let myself expand. There were not many visuals, no big sense of acceleration, no tunnels or entities. Just a pure quiet. All I could hear was the drone in the song, and the melody of a flute, that accompanied me to the highest mountain top. Where I sat, alone and with everything. It was as if my mind held its breath, and just stayed like that. There was no voice or voices, no inner dialog, no conversation. Not even an observer. Just pure ‘’Is-ness’’. My attachment to my body was inexistent, as was my attachment to my life, my wife, my daughter. All meaningless. My concept of self, gone. And not even missed. Not even an ‘I’. The stillness was pristine. An exquisite meditation where I could literally ‘play’ with any encroaching thoughts like kids toys. The most sacred space surrounded me. A gift from the source. A kiss on my spirit. It is the highest and most exalted place I have ever experienced in all my lifetimes. The absolute pinnacle of peace. No illusions. Nirvikalpa Samahdi. Christ consciousness. Not alone, not with anything. No separation. There was absolutely no concept of time. There was no ‘other’, just being.
As soon as I would ‘feel’ my hand on the vape, I would quietly bring it to my lips and take more. I did this over and over, never leaving the meditation. If you have heard ‘know thyself’ then you know what an emotional hit it is when the basslines are introduced to the divine pattern of the raga. Bom Shiva, and more hits.
During the entire session, I was dissolved. Fully and completely ego less, my only requirement was a slight hand movement every 10 minutes or so to add more altitude. And I could even do this ‘separated’ from my body. The hand was on auto pilot, and knew how to introduce the DMT to my lips. Even the once or twice that I remember ‘missing’ my mouth only served to deepen my concentration and my pure minded state. There were no distractions. No possibility of anything wavering in my perfect blissful state. Whatever was happening, whatever COULD happen would only deepen my meditation. The Album finished without me noticing. I was just on the mountaintop, in the void, floating in the arms of Source. Absolute spiritual perfection.
At one point I heard my trip buddy ring the Tibetan singing bowl we use to mark time. My hand went off auto pilot, and did not bring the vape back to my lips. Then at some point I heard a voice say calmly ‘’You’ve been in there for an hour and a half. It’s 9:30’’ I could not comprehend the message. What does and hour mean? What is 9:30? I have been, and always will be as I am now. What does ‘in there’ mean?. I let myself come back into my body, the familiar little ‘shiver’ in the muscles in the back of my legs welcomed me home. The same little twitch you sometimes get after an earth shattering orgasm. I moved my feet at the ankles for a bit, and yawned myself into physical presence. I felt as though I had taken a full body spiritual shower. Like I had been given a gift beyond anything I could have ever hoped for. I had been presented the road map, the goal of all the meditation, the mother healer. The state of Is-ness that can not be other than its own Is-ness. Like winning the astral lottery. I placed my hands in a kind of ‘namaste’ pose, and wept. I wept tears of the purest joy. I don’t know for how long. My face in my palms, I found myself saying thank you over and over again. In the 4 languages I do speak, and then in dozens of languages I do not speak. An outpouring of gratitude, of recognition that what I had just been offered was the highest of all gifts, of all love. I had been granted an audience to the divine, and I felt like I had been there forever.
I checked the cart. I almost emptied the whole thing over that 90 minutes.
The next thing I remember feeling was huge sadness, or maybe disappointment that I would so easily ‘abandon’ my family, my daughter, my life. How quickly the switch was switched. How, without any hesitation or doubt, I plunged headlong into the dissolution of my self. Never even giving a thought (there is no thought) about my family. That they need me, that they love me. That they would be devastated if I never came back. But I tell you I could have stayed there till death as some of the ascetics do in Eastern traditions. I understood why monastic life requires you to detach from everything. It is so you are NOT attached to anything that could hold you back from diving headfirst into the deepest of all '‘no coming back from this’' meditation. It is because the perfect state of mediation is like unto death. There is no need to return, no desires (as there is no separation of self / anything else) no regrets. And having attachment to the people we love holds us back from this state. Some time passed, and I came to grips with what I had just experienced.
When I got home, I gave my loved ones the biggest hugs ever. I held them close. They did not know what/where/when I had just ‘been’, but I knew that I am not an ascetic. I have attachments (for good or bad). I love my family. And I was so happy to have the chance of having a body, of living this life of joy and suffering, of having to chop wood and carry water. I am not ready to give up all these attachments yet, but I know now that when the time comes, I will return to source, as we all do. I will do it with an open heart and an accepting soul. No fear. Because I got a gift. A handshake. A perfect, exquisite, ineffable view, a taste of reality in its infinite sacred beauty. The mountaintop.
Maybe I made a cart of 5 MEO by accident! Hahahahaha…
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Forever, thank you.
Thanks for reading!
PLUR
Q
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