opening up and letting go?

[dreamtimereturn]

These are things that i'm having trouble with for a while, it didn't seem so hard after an extraordinary aya expeirence, doing throat exersises and practicing letting go and raising my voice, since then though it's been about three weeks i haven't been able to formulate my words at all, i'll go to say one thing then not be able to formulate, say something else and sometimes will expand from there, other times i don't know i'd just rather not talk at that point. but this has always been difficult..

its not helping my progress you see.. since i was a kid i've had trouble opening up; being homeschooled and lacking general human contact/communication, it didn't help that i've alienated myself from whatever i've been alienating myself from since my early teens.

i always feel though that there's a deeper way to connect with people, i think i just need to get out, i think i know exactly what i have to do, to be more outgoing and loving of everyone and everything, following a healthy diet and exercise, maybe step out of the house a bit more Often..? Quit Smoking!- ((echo echo)) gosh its all infront of me i don't know why i didn't see it before or why i set myself up in such situations and mindsets, but i had an interesting vision a couple of nights ago. there was this a hollow black pupil type thing that i could see looking through my eyes with an intense new understanding, but what it implied i don't remember because i had to fight just to remember it was really there, and actually lost it all trying to connect it with other daily thoughts, but it came back to me today a little bit anyway. now i have an urge to go to the woods to meditate and explore and with all the luck of the universe can truly come home anew



one quick question?
would you recommend changa first or would you say head straight in for dmt
i like both ideas~

Love!
love
ov
how do you spell of?

 

[Existentialhero]

For what your trying to get out of spice I would recommend an oral does rather than vaped or smoked anything. The longer duration will allow you time to think rather than just be in a state of awe for a little while like vaping Spice will do. Also in my opinion doing entheogens for the purpose of curing anti-soccial tendencies is going to be a tough one. I cant help but feel more different from the people around me every time I do an entheogen. As I grow as an idividual I almost always seem to grow away from the pack and that has not helped my social life at all. Instead im the guy with weird worldly views haha. I am definitely curious to see how this works out for you be sure to post your results.

 

[Global]

First off, I'd like to say your photos are beautiful :d Especially that green one!

Sounds like you've already had an oral DMT experience, so it's completely natural I think that you'd want to proceed to the smoking counterpart. I feel like I've been noticing a trend recently where so many here prefer oral DMT over smoked/vaped, but personally the majority of lessons that the molecule has presented me with have come from my vaporized occasions.

So in terms of changa or freebase DMT....My personal preference is freebase (though I know there are countless others that swear by changa). Changa is definitely easier to smoke in terms of the technique required to smoke it, but then again, I've only used blue lotus and calea or cannabis, and while they have all produced beautiful experiences, I've yet to try it with an MAOI containing plant (like caapi leaf), and so maybe I really am missing out. Also, changa always tastes funky to me. It's that funkier taste I perceive when I smoke-combust the spice as opposed to vaporizing. There have also been times where I've made changa and it came out particularly weak (could have been poor ratio?), and so that was just a grand waste of spice. It's harder to judge exactly what your dose is with changa as opposed to with freebase, you can weigh out exactly how much DMT you'll be attempting to consume. I guess what it probably comes down to though is that if you don't feel like ponying up the cash for a GVG, then changa would definitely be the way to go. Otherwise, the GVG and my arc torch lighter have worked sheer magic for me.

[Edit]: I forgot to address the antisocial issue. I may not have been home schooled, but in general I am a very shy person. I have extreme difficulties starting conversations with people I did not know or was just not "friendly" with. This would create a lot of anxiety. I've gotten better, but to this day, I'm still a pretty shy person (until I do warm up to somebody and then you can't shut me up :lol: ). I've found that my best ammunition for this is humor. If you can try to appeal to people's sense of humor, it can get them to open up more to you which can then get things flowing. I probably developed a large part of my sense of humor from watching endless stand-up comedy which I think reflects in large part the way society often thinks and feels, but might not explicitly state. Furthermore, I wouldn't get too hung up on making an ass out of yourself. You're your worst critic. I think a lot of us have the tendency to judge ourselves much harsher than our peers (they don't care about you as much as you may think they do...which can be a good thing ). And even if you do make an ass out of yourself, you can always try again, or just move on (those people weren't for you apparently anyway), but you'll never know unless you take some risks in the social world. My strategy is to get people to try and laugh or giggle, even though I may be exceedingly uncomfortable in the situation, but that can really loosen the tension. I find that people tend to gravitate towards those that they think can make them laugh cause in the future they may seek you out, almost like a drug, to try and get you to invoke a positive reaction in them.

 

[dreamtimereturn]

Existentialhero, Thank you, i agree. I plan to have one or two more aya experiences before anything major happens with freebase.:shock: its taken alot to get this far, almost a year of thinking about it before i felt this urge to go ahead and try it. Also its not fitting in with the pack that i'm worried about it's truly discovering what's out there that draws me in. I do feel 'out of the crowed' after using entheogens but i also see that as being a gift and wouldn't trade it for the world. what happends when your weird worldly views aren't so weird after all? ..::::..


Global, yes i've noticed this too and its a little unsettling to know that so many people are getting such strong experiences from doses of aya that hardly touch me, though i am considering waay upping my next mimosa dose, maybe i've just got weaker bark than most. I like the idea of changa with caapi leaves! i wouldn't think of making it without simply because i'm more familiar with dmt + maoi and i think would prefer to venture in from that end of the spectrum as aya has already helped me with so much. but yes future me i see sitting in a room with white spice and a gvg. i suppose it would $ about that same ether way, pure spice being a bit more expensive..
hmm
____

And even if you do make an ass out of yourself, you can always try again, or just move on (those people weren't for you apparently anyway), but you'll never know unless you take some risks in the social world. My strategy is to get people to try and laugh or giggle, even though I may be exceedingly uncomfortable in the situation, but that can really loosen the tension.

I completely agree, thank you for this!
and i'm glad you liked that images!

 

[Global]

When you think about it, even in the "short" longterm, freebase spice will end up being much cheaper than changa. The GVG is an investment, but once you have it, you (should) have it forever. With changa you have to continuously buy isopropyl alcohol (or acetone) as well as the herbs that you wish to infuse them into.

 

[BananaForeskin]

Not TOO much more expensive, tho! An $8 ounce of caapi leaves and $2 of IPA will go a long ways. (though, yes, technically it is more expensive than freebase... unless you feel that the potentiation offsets it)

 

[Carrierwave]

Sounds like what you're after is alcohol to me.

 

[dreamtimereturn]

Thanks guys, I'm keeping an open mind, though am leaning towards changa at the moment, we'll see how this month goes, and come on both would be good investments, at least from where i'm standing.

 

[Global]

Cool. Let us know how it goes. I'll just point out (and not sure why this happened), but I remember having a couple failed changa batches (very mild effects to none at all). Could've been ratio, but not really sure.

 

[resonanting_sloth]

Love the picture from one of my favorite artists, who a couple other Nexians know as well!

Good luck in your explorations. The only advice I can give you, from one newcomer to another, is that making the vaporization process both effective and comfortable takes some tuning, and quite possibly a few uncomfortable experiences. Especially when we are in great need of the medicine, it seems that the process isn't always something that might be considered "recreational" or "all happy little elves and pretty fractals." Experiences may be quite disturbing, but rest assured that the toughest ones will be over just as quickly as the beautiful ones.

Nothing worthwhile is easy.

One thing I wrote here today in my thread is that I've found a couple ways to make the process of vaporizing spice pretty comfy, and therefore a much less anxious experience. I've found that taking hits that fill your lungs about 3/4 full is much more comfortable than "maxing out" the lung capacity. Doing this, combined with the proper application of heat to the material, can make a 30-second breath hold very do-able for me. I was able to tune into the carrier wave for the second(?) time last night through two of these pleasant hits. I did not take the third, which would have surely taken me deeper, because I was content in the second hit's space. And after all, that third hit is still residing on the copper ribbon disc in the VG, waiting for me whenever I'm ready

Perhaps this little advice will be of use, perhaps not. anyway, good luck!

(EDIT- I just realized that I posted this advice in a couple places today. Hopefully it's not too terribly redundant)

 

[dreamtimereturn]

Cool. Let us know how it goes. I'll just point out (and not sure why this happened), but I remember having a couple failed changa batches (very mild effects to none at all). Could've been ratio, but not really sure.

Hmm that's interesting, how did you go about making it? you said you have yet to use caapi leaves? I'm not sure it would be a real driving cause for a failed batch but the cappi or any other maoi imo would potentiate anything you put it with, could it have possibly been the combination of not using an maoi aswell as low dmt ratio?

and off topic here but have you smoked your calea zacatechichi maybe with a bit of weed before bed, i'm curious about its effects on drifting into dream. I've never been able to lucid dream well but have noticed myself consciously awake and coming down from my dreams as i wake up.:roll:

 

[Global]

I would like to note an improvement to my technique I learned from the nexus that has really worked wonders. What I do now is that instead of trying to fill my lungs to the max (as resonanting_sloth mentioned) but when it starts to get really harsh, I stop and hold in whatever I have for like 3-5 seconds. This is usually enough time so that my lungs relax and I don't feel anything in them at all. At that point in time, without exhaling I can easily clear the rest and not feel any of it even enter my lungs, as I chase it with a little air to get everything in the lungs. This by far helps with seemingly getting the most out of it (I almost instantly start seeing intense visuals as I clear the hit) while softening the blow.

and off topic here but have you smoked your calea zacatechichi maybe with a bit of weed before bed, i'm curious about its effects on drifting into dream. I've never been able to lucid dream well but have noticed myself consciously awake and coming down from my dreams as i wake up.Rolling eyes

I have done this. I drifted off, and while I didn't remember exactly having vivid dreams, what was really weird was that when I woke up, I kept my eyes closed so I was conscious but I hadn't really moved yet. I started to see this "movie" play out on the back of my eyelids. It was like a full motion picture going on with my eyes closed and not quite like tripping. It was cool to say the least. In terms of the changa, my best guess would be that I used too little DMT and too much plant material so that I had to smoke too much of too little to feel effects.

 

[dreamtimereturn]

Yes! great artist, love the progression

Great these smoking tips, they'll come in handy I'm sure.
I do realize this could potentially be very disturbing but i'm content right now with the feeling that i will get what i need from spice, I really can't say much more about it, i haven no idea what its like. but i thank you for your help and support! And that's very interesting with the calea, like a movie almost.. i can't wait to give this a try

[edit] dreams are like that, more of a motion picture than tripping and you get all these neat angles

 

[Global]

Please let us know how your journey progresses

 

[dreamtimereturn]

Yes