Hello everyone, my name is dibbs, and lately something rather intriguing happened yet again and I'm here to share and hopefully get to hear others. Everyone around me my whole life have always wondered what I thought about, and for the first time, I'm speaking my mind. It's really scary sometimes to explain what goes on, because you think no one does, and I like to believe that users on here do.
I've been away for a while from home, something I'd like to call a retreat from my life to focus on myself and my growth; in hopes to find answers within myself, too.
Four years ago, I started seeing the world from a very different perspective and I thought that meant getting older, being mature, but then again whenever I looked back at my life, I've always been a very different kid, a very exceptional one; one of those "smart" kids. I could blend easily into anyone, any situation, any day, anytime; I could easily shift my presence whenever I'd want (actually depended on my emotions and what went on in my head at the time, but mostly what I wanted). I was always an observant person, very keen on details; strong and sharp memory, wide range of knowledge. Some would call me "devil" growing up haha but with that much energy as a child, I always practiced it in joking around and doing pranks with the other childhood friends I had; in fact I was usually the mastermind. But now when I look back, I feel like it was a different reality, its really hard to explain, especially with memories; its hard to explain those memories that hit you, like it goes on for a minute, yet its just a split of a second in your eyes. I have very strong memories, yet my family members don't remember; they think I have dreamt them lol but they were real, I know it, they are of my fondest. I look back and it feels bad because that kid was just misunderstood. My actions were always rather balanced with a lot of affection and compassion towards the people I cared about and strangers, always selfless. Either ways, it always felt like I didn't belong; that feeling just grows with you. It was like I would get bored of a certain reality and then go and look for a different one and just merge in; and as a projector, now I fully know why I always had such a strong presence, and I always detected those with strong ones. It feels like I'm always in aware of what is around me and I can detect the changes.
As a stubborn kid, I learnt to get exactly what I wanted, by any means possible; it was like if I wanted it in my head, it was mine. I would like to point that I had a lot of mind over matter occurrences in my life; sometimes, I would think of what I would what to happen and it just does; sometimes it happened right on spot, involving other objects, sometimes it took time. However, as a kid my mind was always in control and I can't explain it without sounds nuts.
However, I really had some transitions in my life; in late middle school, throughout high school, I matured quickly and had a lot of changes in my behaviors. I was still the same social, fun prankster, but I rather started focusing on my family, school, friends, social life and life in general. I was always a strong individual, very independent, yet dependent on those I truly love. I always had a mix of emotions, I would always absorb whatever around me, and sometimes it would just get stuck and it hurts not being to release it, so you just work your way through it. I learnt to keep what what's in my head inside and not share; just follow the trend and high school life; but I'm very grateful to say that I had a beautiful life and upbringing thanks to my blessings I call my parents and my family, where my utmost love lies.
Being so mature and understanding, very well-aware of whats around me, helped growing up; it governed me with compassion and wisdom; but sometimes it becomes your enemy and as for me, I always felt too much, details, everything around me.
Three years ago, I relocated and went to my hometown for college and it was a huge shift in life.
I'd like to make it as short as possible so I'll try to skip on some details.
After it was doomed that my hometown was my only option for college, I had no other options but to roll with it, and I'm grateful things went as they did. I started smoking up more frequently and soon experimenting. I grew up so much as an individual and I gained knowledge and wisdom along the way, great memories and you know it is true, because you feel it and it is the bringing the best in you.
I wanted to point this out because during these times, when I was around my soul group, when my intuition was high and very receptive, I began to truly shift and start seeing a whole other world; they gave me the feeling of home, nostalgia, and it just transforms you and brings out the inner you, the one who has been hiding; you help transform each other.
Like I said, I had many mind over matter occurrences (later throughout my childhood I stopped using my mind to do things because sometime people would get hurt, and sometimes I was scared what would happen if it got stronger); however, during my high school years, I practiced some lucid dreaming.
I don't know how to lucid dream, but it worked several times, usually when I didn't even think of it.I had also once a some kind of astral projection; I was sleeping after school, and I began feeling so light, so I opened my eyes, and I didn't see anything beside me, so I looked down, and I saw my body down there, and I was floating upwards, then my heart pounded a million times and I fell back very fast and then into sleep. It ended up being a lucid dream; I remembered that this happened to me almost two days after that dream.
However, my lucid dreams weren't so in control; like each dream was a continuation of the last lucid dream I had, with the same setting and characters, then I go somewhere else depending on the dream. Although I was aware I was lucid dreaming, I could only fly, use telekinesis, and manipulate nature (make anything explode which is I guess part of telekinesis). Those dreams feel like I just go along with the plot, sometimes I feel my awareness is in the dream, but the person who is me doesn't resemble me. It is very weird because whether its me in the dream or my awareness, its a continuation kind of sequence (if I wake up, I don't remember anything about the dream, but if I lucid dream after 8 months, it would be a continuation of a past one; it also feels nostalgic and gives you this feeling of oneness and belonging; like a different world and it feels like its me in the dream, yet not me. Very weird.
Anyhow, my college years, I believe to have seen two vision of a past life.
I want to clear that in those times, I was smoking up something believed to expand the consciousness. I like to say I have enjoyed diving into my brain; it gave me a great sense of awareness and energy vibrations; it was magnificent the sense of "inner space" and the feeling of oneness and in control; of being free. I had that period of time when it was magical, even when I was sober. It helped me magnify controlling whats around me; I had 2 visions, and almost 5 mind over matter, one involved a car crash.
My first vision happened in class; I was hanging around with other 4 friends, and I recognized the presences of two of them, yet couldn't recognize the faces, I just knew them. I was then back in class, and I can see myself going back to this reality, and still feeling the same emotions I had in my vision; it was like I brought back these emotions with me and kept hanging on them till they faded away. It happened in a split of a second, yet it had the greatest energy flow that it almost stopped time.
The second vision happened during that period too; I was waiting for my friends to pick me up from the mall, and I had a vision, point of view style; it was the same, I could see myself in a completely different reality, and I could feel the presence of two people by my side, as we stood in front of huge 3 mountains admiring the view, with the sun behind the mountain in the middle shinning in a very bright, humble yellow color. I was then sucked back to the mall with the fry still in my hand; I realized it took less than seconds, yet it was a long memory and I had the feeling of pride and victory and love; I think I recognized the two who were by my side.
Later, I lost that sense of oneness, tangling energy, in control; and I kept hoping I'd figure out what started that phase of that state of mind.
So back to now, lately I've been into the same situation; this retreat here has helped me find a lot of answers to my life, unfixed issues with soul groups, and the passing away of my grandpa, which happened last month on November 14, day of the super moon. Being away made it harder, and grieving alone, I think triggered the phase that recently happened. For a few weeks, I kept feeling the presence of some kind of energy following me, it was rather intrigued by me. I didn't pick bad vibrations, just that it followed me to look after me. It wasn't my grandpa however, it had a different feel to it.
This time around, the feeling you get, the strong vibrations from everything around you, your own vibration, that feeling of oneness and in control, well-aware of surroundings, that magical feeling, was intensified. For days, I could feel my forehead itching from the inside, like I feel energy pulling from the center of my forehead. I thought that my pineal gland was trying to absorb energy. Following after, I was sun gazing in my bed, and when I closed my eyes, it was dark and I could see an indigo blue, dark oval kind of pearl in the middle of darkness and it was lighting everything; I could see huge strays of blue lights powered from the pearl and it gave me so much energy I kept my eyes close and just starred till it was gone. I googled it and tried looking for answers, but it wasn't very resourceful. My friend told me its enlightenment, I believe I'm just still cracking through my third eye. I somehow realized a lot of stuff too at this period, things that were so clear but still confusing; also mind over matter, I would think of something to happen involving someone, the same night similar thing happened, and several occurrences similar.
It just hurts now because you suddenly snap out of that bubble of "one space" feeling and oneness and keep on wondering when it will happen again.
I'm really sorry for my long post and I hope some of you get to read and enjoy it, and share your opinions and insights. Peace everyone, sending everyone love
I've been away for a while from home, something I'd like to call a retreat from my life to focus on myself and my growth; in hopes to find answers within myself, too.
Four years ago, I started seeing the world from a very different perspective and I thought that meant getting older, being mature, but then again whenever I looked back at my life, I've always been a very different kid, a very exceptional one; one of those "smart" kids. I could blend easily into anyone, any situation, any day, anytime; I could easily shift my presence whenever I'd want (actually depended on my emotions and what went on in my head at the time, but mostly what I wanted). I was always an observant person, very keen on details; strong and sharp memory, wide range of knowledge. Some would call me "devil" growing up haha but with that much energy as a child, I always practiced it in joking around and doing pranks with the other childhood friends I had; in fact I was usually the mastermind. But now when I look back, I feel like it was a different reality, its really hard to explain, especially with memories; its hard to explain those memories that hit you, like it goes on for a minute, yet its just a split of a second in your eyes. I have very strong memories, yet my family members don't remember; they think I have dreamt them lol but they were real, I know it, they are of my fondest. I look back and it feels bad because that kid was just misunderstood. My actions were always rather balanced with a lot of affection and compassion towards the people I cared about and strangers, always selfless. Either ways, it always felt like I didn't belong; that feeling just grows with you. It was like I would get bored of a certain reality and then go and look for a different one and just merge in; and as a projector, now I fully know why I always had such a strong presence, and I always detected those with strong ones. It feels like I'm always in aware of what is around me and I can detect the changes.
As a stubborn kid, I learnt to get exactly what I wanted, by any means possible; it was like if I wanted it in my head, it was mine. I would like to point that I had a lot of mind over matter occurrences in my life; sometimes, I would think of what I would what to happen and it just does; sometimes it happened right on spot, involving other objects, sometimes it took time. However, as a kid my mind was always in control and I can't explain it without sounds nuts.
However, I really had some transitions in my life; in late middle school, throughout high school, I matured quickly and had a lot of changes in my behaviors. I was still the same social, fun prankster, but I rather started focusing on my family, school, friends, social life and life in general. I was always a strong individual, very independent, yet dependent on those I truly love. I always had a mix of emotions, I would always absorb whatever around me, and sometimes it would just get stuck and it hurts not being to release it, so you just work your way through it. I learnt to keep what what's in my head inside and not share; just follow the trend and high school life; but I'm very grateful to say that I had a beautiful life and upbringing thanks to my blessings I call my parents and my family, where my utmost love lies.
Being so mature and understanding, very well-aware of whats around me, helped growing up; it governed me with compassion and wisdom; but sometimes it becomes your enemy and as for me, I always felt too much, details, everything around me.
Three years ago, I relocated and went to my hometown for college and it was a huge shift in life.
I'd like to make it as short as possible so I'll try to skip on some details.
After it was doomed that my hometown was my only option for college, I had no other options but to roll with it, and I'm grateful things went as they did. I started smoking up more frequently and soon experimenting. I grew up so much as an individual and I gained knowledge and wisdom along the way, great memories and you know it is true, because you feel it and it is the bringing the best in you.
I wanted to point this out because during these times, when I was around my soul group, when my intuition was high and very receptive, I began to truly shift and start seeing a whole other world; they gave me the feeling of home, nostalgia, and it just transforms you and brings out the inner you, the one who has been hiding; you help transform each other.
Like I said, I had many mind over matter occurrences (later throughout my childhood I stopped using my mind to do things because sometime people would get hurt, and sometimes I was scared what would happen if it got stronger); however, during my high school years, I practiced some lucid dreaming.
I don't know how to lucid dream, but it worked several times, usually when I didn't even think of it.I had also once a some kind of astral projection; I was sleeping after school, and I began feeling so light, so I opened my eyes, and I didn't see anything beside me, so I looked down, and I saw my body down there, and I was floating upwards, then my heart pounded a million times and I fell back very fast and then into sleep. It ended up being a lucid dream; I remembered that this happened to me almost two days after that dream.
However, my lucid dreams weren't so in control; like each dream was a continuation of the last lucid dream I had, with the same setting and characters, then I go somewhere else depending on the dream. Although I was aware I was lucid dreaming, I could only fly, use telekinesis, and manipulate nature (make anything explode which is I guess part of telekinesis). Those dreams feel like I just go along with the plot, sometimes I feel my awareness is in the dream, but the person who is me doesn't resemble me. It is very weird because whether its me in the dream or my awareness, its a continuation kind of sequence (if I wake up, I don't remember anything about the dream, but if I lucid dream after 8 months, it would be a continuation of a past one; it also feels nostalgic and gives you this feeling of oneness and belonging; like a different world and it feels like its me in the dream, yet not me. Very weird.
Anyhow, my college years, I believe to have seen two vision of a past life.
I want to clear that in those times, I was smoking up something believed to expand the consciousness. I like to say I have enjoyed diving into my brain; it gave me a great sense of awareness and energy vibrations; it was magnificent the sense of "inner space" and the feeling of oneness and in control; of being free. I had that period of time when it was magical, even when I was sober. It helped me magnify controlling whats around me; I had 2 visions, and almost 5 mind over matter, one involved a car crash.
My first vision happened in class; I was hanging around with other 4 friends, and I recognized the presences of two of them, yet couldn't recognize the faces, I just knew them. I was then back in class, and I can see myself going back to this reality, and still feeling the same emotions I had in my vision; it was like I brought back these emotions with me and kept hanging on them till they faded away. It happened in a split of a second, yet it had the greatest energy flow that it almost stopped time.
The second vision happened during that period too; I was waiting for my friends to pick me up from the mall, and I had a vision, point of view style; it was the same, I could see myself in a completely different reality, and I could feel the presence of two people by my side, as we stood in front of huge 3 mountains admiring the view, with the sun behind the mountain in the middle shinning in a very bright, humble yellow color. I was then sucked back to the mall with the fry still in my hand; I realized it took less than seconds, yet it was a long memory and I had the feeling of pride and victory and love; I think I recognized the two who were by my side.
Later, I lost that sense of oneness, tangling energy, in control; and I kept hoping I'd figure out what started that phase of that state of mind.
So back to now, lately I've been into the same situation; this retreat here has helped me find a lot of answers to my life, unfixed issues with soul groups, and the passing away of my grandpa, which happened last month on November 14, day of the super moon. Being away made it harder, and grieving alone, I think triggered the phase that recently happened. For a few weeks, I kept feeling the presence of some kind of energy following me, it was rather intrigued by me. I didn't pick bad vibrations, just that it followed me to look after me. It wasn't my grandpa however, it had a different feel to it.
This time around, the feeling you get, the strong vibrations from everything around you, your own vibration, that feeling of oneness and in control, well-aware of surroundings, that magical feeling, was intensified. For days, I could feel my forehead itching from the inside, like I feel energy pulling from the center of my forehead. I thought that my pineal gland was trying to absorb energy. Following after, I was sun gazing in my bed, and when I closed my eyes, it was dark and I could see an indigo blue, dark oval kind of pearl in the middle of darkness and it was lighting everything; I could see huge strays of blue lights powered from the pearl and it gave me so much energy I kept my eyes close and just starred till it was gone. I googled it and tried looking for answers, but it wasn't very resourceful. My friend told me its enlightenment, I believe I'm just still cracking through my third eye. I somehow realized a lot of stuff too at this period, things that were so clear but still confusing; also mind over matter, I would think of something to happen involving someone, the same night similar thing happened, and several occurrences similar.
It just hurts now because you suddenly snap out of that bubble of "one space" feeling and oneness and keep on wondering when it will happen again.
I'm really sorry for my long post and I hope some of you get to read and enjoy it, and share your opinions and insights. Peace everyone, sending everyone love