EternalReturn
Rising Star
I can almost still taste that strange strange vapor on my tongue.
Yesterday was my first blast-off. It was intense, but much less than today's. Yesterday everything around me turned to waves and then Mayan hieroglyphics, but not for long. I embarked with a ton of fear, but once I got there I was surprised at how lucid I was. I felt that I was god and controlled that version of hyperspace, which was really a strange intersection of various dimensions. I felt that for maybe no more than a second before I began to feel small and powerless and ultimately just a participant. Each time I sucked the light bulb it felt as if these "entities" were breathing life into me.
Today was very much the same, except I made sure I got a "breakthrough" level hit. It was much more intense. The hieroglyphs became the substance behind everything physical, including my own body. My skin felt as if it were melting, and I was afraid that I had burned my tongue, which felt as if were peeling off (my tongue is fine, no damage done). I tried to distinguish the faces (I have studied Mayan art and Anthropology for about 6 years academically as well as independently) but they would kind of become obscure the more I tried to make them out. They also kind of crawled all over the place. This is probably why the faces appeared to me through the hieroglyphs - I was raised Catholic but was always an atheist until I encountered some of the Aztec poetry and Mayan works, such as the Popul Vuh and gained a sense of spirituality, which actually helped re-contextualize some of the Judeo-Christian spirituality.
Yesterday, I would get the feeling that I wasn't supposed to be there, which would be immediately followed by an assurance that everything was okay. Today, I went in arrogant as Colombus, and got smacked a bit harder than expected. In hyperspace the closed eye visuals were kind of like spinning bumpers with flashing lights from a type of cosmic pinball machine. Open eyes visuals were mainly the Mayan backdrop, but with green and white neon lights indicating perhaps some other dimension happening simultaneously. From my perspective I felt an observer of a myriad of worlds all happening at once. There was no simple dialect occurring between myself and the universe - it was much more chaotic than that. There was no death (something I experienced on Psilo and LSD) but just existing in a state of "otherness". There was no division between a Platonian realm of forms and ideas, there was rather just a bunch of intersections all occurring in layers, parallel to one another. What really kept me grounded was the fact that I loved MY world the best - I was not willing to part with it 100 percent like I have done with other psychedelics. My world consists of MY archetypes, my friends, my loved ones, my passions, my knowledge; my world consists of my ego, which felt as if it were an essential part of what connects my "self"/"spirit"/ "subconscious" to the sensory world. It's not worth giving up to continuously live immersed in some metaphysical world of chaos. For me, the experience was about keeping a segment of myself existent in ALL realities; value is to be found in quantity in my case, while not sacrificing the quality of each experience. Note: That is not to say
I could do better to articulate this in the future, but I had to write something down to attain an immediate transcription of my experience before the emotional surge in me dies down and memory loses its edge.
But Wow, some intense hypershit.
Also, I went outside to smoke a cigarette on the roof while the experience was starting to leave me and I saw an ironic giant poster of Blue Man Group, which made me laugh as it resembled a sort of popular representation of "others".
Second note: I have been having dreams about the set I chose to experiment where I was floating/gliding across the ground, and another where I encountered some psychedelic 2- dimensional world. Both dreams kind of happened while I was immersed in that "otherness".
Yesterday was my first blast-off. It was intense, but much less than today's. Yesterday everything around me turned to waves and then Mayan hieroglyphics, but not for long. I embarked with a ton of fear, but once I got there I was surprised at how lucid I was. I felt that I was god and controlled that version of hyperspace, which was really a strange intersection of various dimensions. I felt that for maybe no more than a second before I began to feel small and powerless and ultimately just a participant. Each time I sucked the light bulb it felt as if these "entities" were breathing life into me.
Today was very much the same, except I made sure I got a "breakthrough" level hit. It was much more intense. The hieroglyphs became the substance behind everything physical, including my own body. My skin felt as if it were melting, and I was afraid that I had burned my tongue, which felt as if were peeling off (my tongue is fine, no damage done). I tried to distinguish the faces (I have studied Mayan art and Anthropology for about 6 years academically as well as independently) but they would kind of become obscure the more I tried to make them out. They also kind of crawled all over the place. This is probably why the faces appeared to me through the hieroglyphs - I was raised Catholic but was always an atheist until I encountered some of the Aztec poetry and Mayan works, such as the Popul Vuh and gained a sense of spirituality, which actually helped re-contextualize some of the Judeo-Christian spirituality.
Yesterday, I would get the feeling that I wasn't supposed to be there, which would be immediately followed by an assurance that everything was okay. Today, I went in arrogant as Colombus, and got smacked a bit harder than expected. In hyperspace the closed eye visuals were kind of like spinning bumpers with flashing lights from a type of cosmic pinball machine. Open eyes visuals were mainly the Mayan backdrop, but with green and white neon lights indicating perhaps some other dimension happening simultaneously. From my perspective I felt an observer of a myriad of worlds all happening at once. There was no simple dialect occurring between myself and the universe - it was much more chaotic than that. There was no death (something I experienced on Psilo and LSD) but just existing in a state of "otherness". There was no division between a Platonian realm of forms and ideas, there was rather just a bunch of intersections all occurring in layers, parallel to one another. What really kept me grounded was the fact that I loved MY world the best - I was not willing to part with it 100 percent like I have done with other psychedelics. My world consists of MY archetypes, my friends, my loved ones, my passions, my knowledge; my world consists of my ego, which felt as if it were an essential part of what connects my "self"/"spirit"/ "subconscious" to the sensory world. It's not worth giving up to continuously live immersed in some metaphysical world of chaos. For me, the experience was about keeping a segment of myself existent in ALL realities; value is to be found in quantity in my case, while not sacrificing the quality of each experience. Note: That is not to say
I could do better to articulate this in the future, but I had to write something down to attain an immediate transcription of my experience before the emotional surge in me dies down and memory loses its edge.
But Wow, some intense hypershit.
Also, I went outside to smoke a cigarette on the roof while the experience was starting to leave me and I saw an ironic giant poster of Blue Man Group, which made me laugh as it resembled a sort of popular representation of "others".
Second note: I have been having dreams about the set I chose to experiment where I was floating/gliding across the ground, and another where I encountered some psychedelic 2- dimensional world. Both dreams kind of happened while I was immersed in that "otherness".
