Jorkest said:
where can i get certified to be a shaman!?!?? i always thought that...the community decides if you are a shaman or not...not yourself...
you may learn about shamanic practices...but you cant say that you are a shaman...thats bragging..and shamans SHOULD be way above that
Actually, I have a BSham in shamanism from Yale. It's recognised worldwide. I have the student debt to prove it. I majored in Amhulscha Bestiality Cult, and Sacred Po. I did all this using the art of Astral Plain Sacraments, during which I took many substances in the astral plain rather than in our reality, to the effect that actually I have never taken an entheogen per se in this world, only in the consciousness realm known to many as Imagination. I continued with a PhD in Multiple Reality Control, whereupon I just tell people I have done things rather than actually doing them and in this way these things become reality due to the multidirectional flow of time and consciousness. For this I was given the Nobel Shaman Prize, of $50,000 and the fabled Suppositories of Eldor. My mentor was the Great Squid Rol, who isn't actually a squid of course (that would be ridiculous) but takes this form because it is the closest four dimensional representation to the multidimensional form his energy-waves usually take. Before he passed into the Clow reality, Rol mind-told me that I was his best pupil both of past and future and all the other possible branches of time. Rol is far mightier than the Cat, who as well all know is the Master of Master of Plants. In fact the Cat was once just an ordinary cat until Rol banished a pesky entity into its consciousness-prison in the Four Dimensional Realm which we call Reality, whereupon the Merge-Cat roamed Wales until he found a young dopefiend through whom he could best serve his master Loki, a master who is in fact very easily pleased, it is said he laughs hardest at the potato-in-the-exhaust ceremony, and this is no secret throughout the realms :lol:
