Random Drug Testing

[Running Bear]

Have any of you mastered the art of beating a random drug test? I quit smoking weed 5 years ago because I got a good job. I have horrible anxiety, trouble sleeping and pot really helped with those problems. I was thinking that if i carried 2 Quick Fix Synthetic Urine bottles and replaced the heat pads every 5 hours i would be ok. At least one of the bottles would get to the right temperature. I was also thinking that I could put a extra temperature strip on the bottles. I would hide one strapped to my leg and another around my waist and practice using them.... Even if you have a prescription for marijuana you can still lose your job because it's not legal by the federal government. I believe that what you do on your own time is your own business. I was thinking that if we put are minds together we could come up with a effective
system for beating a random. What would you do to cheat a random urine drug test?

 

[pitubo]

What would you do to cheat a random urine drug test?

I wouldn't. I would try to get a job that doesn't involve random drug testing. There is life beyond being a corporate drone. Try to become self-employed, for example. Many of the same corporations who obsessively drug-test their "corporate assets" hire plenty of outside contractors who are never subject to drug testing.

In the particular case that you mention, would you be helped by using purified CBD? (I am assuming that it is legal in your jurisdiction.)

 

[Ulim]

Random drug tests are so fucked. Glad i dont need to do em.

 

[Doc Buxin]

Yeah, I mastered the art of beating random drug tests by refraining from Cannabis use for 3 years as part of my probationary sentencing by the feds for trying to drive back into the U.S. with a lot of acid way back in the day.

At first, I was bound and determined to get around this predicament, but the cost, and even more so the worry and anxiety, at a certain point was not worth it.

Of course that situation was court-ordered so the thought of incarceration was much more scary to me than that of simply losing employment.

I toughed it out and made the best of the situation.

I did a LOT of meditation and yoga (a lot is a huge understatement in this case).

That was over 30 years ago and I survived.

I am with pitubo in this case. I would never work for any company that requires random drug tests.

Of course I am pretty poor due to not choosing many jobs/career paths because of personal ethics so if it's money you're after, don't ask me.

I do wish you the best of luck.

 

[Psilosopher?]

It's not only corporate jobs that drug test. More likely than corporate, a lot of blue collar jobs drug test. For safety concerns. If you arrive on site, blazed out of your mind, and you make a mistake, that could mean the end of someone's life. You may do a shoddy job, which could result in a building collapse. Or you're a truck driver, where being on any substance has the higher risk of crashing.

I'm not justifying random drug tests, but sometimes, there is a bit of logic to them. Instead of urine testing, they should just test to see if you're intoxicated at work, and only at work. What one does in their spare time is up to them.

 

[Northerner]

I'm subject to random saliva swabs here at my work but it's an industrial situation, they would miss most things from a weekend before but probably still catch weed. They often test contractors on site too.

Fortunately they don't do them to me very often maybe once a year or less as I only drive a computer, crashing it is not likely to hurt anyone. And, I don't take anything that would be detected by them anyway, so meh. :lol:

When I first started years ago there was this "safety officer" who was dead keen on catching me. Used to test me randomly on both a Friday and Monday and stuff like that. Glad she is gone now, ethics police are intolerable.

 

[Psilosopher?]

When I first started years ago there was this "safety officer" who was dead keen on catching me. Used to test me randomly on both a Friday and Monday and stuff like that. Glad she is gone now, ethics police are intolerable.

The hypocrisy of Aussie culture. It's totally ok to destroy your liver and brain cells by drinking yourself to death, but not ok to smoke some herb, heal your muscles and bones, and provide interesting thoughts for the mind.

 

[pitubo]

I have a few supplementary considerations that I would like to add:

1.) The drug testers have the experience on their side. They have tested many people before you. You wouldn't be the first to try to cheat them. You wouldn't be the first to get caught cheating.

2.) Oddly enough, presidents, royals, cabinet members, military brass, corporate executives, school principals and city mayors are rarely tested for drugs. Occasionally, rogue journalists test parliamentary toilets - at least the vistors appear to be clean.

It would seem as if the positions of highest authority would be subject to the highest scrutiny. Not at all. Perhaps there is liitle actual responsibility involved with those positions. Instead, it is the workers, whose job it is to keep the industry afloat, whose integrity of functioning is deemed critical. Draw your own conclusions...

PS: Taking pot shots at politicians is always par for the course, in any moral issue:
‘Crazy’ Argentine ex-minister demands cocaine in court
Blow by Blow: 10 Politicians Linked to Cocaine
Winston Churchill's drinking was one thing, but what about his drug-taking?
World leaders that had serious drug addictions
Drugs, debauchery and the making of an extraordinary Prime Minister: For years rumours have dogged him. Now, the truth about the shockingly decadent Oxford days of the gifted Bullingdon boy

 

[steppa]

A friend does good with the Screeny Weeny...

https://www.amazon.de/Screeny-weltbeste-pimmel-Synthetischen-Kunstpenis/dp/B00PY8RBE6?th=1

You can chose between cut and uncut...and it has a "one hand press and piss" function. :b

 

[Northerner]

When I first started years ago there was this "safety officer" who was dead keen on catching me. Used to test me randomly on both a Friday and Monday and stuff like that. Glad she is gone now, ethics police are intolerable.

The hypocrisy of Aussie culture. It's totally ok to destroy your liver and brain cells by drinking yourself to death, but not ok to smoke some herb, heal your muscles and bones, and provide interesting thoughts for the mind.

Yeah, it's astounding.

Authority: "You're only allowed to take this one socially acceptable drug. In fact it will be forced upon you in every social situation."
Me: "But that drug is addictive, psychotic and poisonous and destroys families and the one I like is none of those things."
Authority: "SILENCE you fk'n druggie, stay away from the children. I'll put you in jail if you speak again."
Me: "Meh, whatever man."

 

[Jees]

It should be the will of the people, is bent to the will of some people in particular.
The game is on and we have a row of candidates to become the next captain of whatever.
Must be something with the alpha thingy, something primal rumbling down there.
Nature works, beats everything, especially sane thinking.
Try to tackle an ape :?:

 

[downwardsfromzero]

A friend does good with the Screeny Weeny...

https://www.amazon.de/Screeny-weltbeste-pimmel-Synthetischen-Kunstpenis/dp/B00PY8RBE6?th=1

You can chose between cut and uncut...and it has a "one hand press and piss" function. :b

That is so awesome (and I never call anything awesome!)

You could have some real fun with that on the High Street on a Saturday night :lol:

 

[dragonrider]

Maybe there are legal alternatives to help you with the anxiety and sleeping problems.
There are so many plants out there. If you experiment a little, maybe you'll even find something that's better than cannabis.

 

[urtica]

The belt thingie with synthetic pee will pass a drug test. Wearing it all the time does sound stressfull.

Sometimes 'random' drug tests actually have a schedule to them & you can mostly wear it then?

Also there are lots of herbs for pain & sleep & anxiety it is true. I like a combo of California poppy, pedicularis spp., paeonia brownie, and hawthorne for a stony/sleepy painkilly combo. Nothing is really a replacement for cannabis tho...

 

[Doc Buxin]

...maybe you'll even find something that's better than cannabis.

There are things that are "better than Cannabis" in that they actually help to correct the imbalance causing the symptoms versus just covering up the symptoms.

There are some very sane, good reasons why I dedicated my entire adult life to the study and practice of traditional medicine systems (such as TCM & Ayurveda).

 

[dragonrider]

...maybe you'll even find something that's better than cannabis.

There are things that are "better than Cannabis" in that they actually help to correct the imbalance causing the symptoms versus just covering up the symptoms.

There are some very sane, good reasons why I dedicated my entire adult life to the study and practice of traditional medicine systems (such as TCM & Ayurveda).

Wow, i think that running bear and many others would be gratefull if you could name a few.

 

[urtica]

Hey Doc! I am just starting to study TCM!

 

[Doc Buxin]

Keep in mind that I did not state that anything is going to be as euphoric as Cannabis, however one of the most important universal laws to remember is for every high there is a low.

With that in mind, let me continue.

Especially when dealing with insomnia and anxiety, one should look into, research and experiment with traditional formulas that contain extract of the seed of Zizyphus spinosa, commonly known as the Jujube (or sour) date seed, or "Suan Zao Ren".

The oldest one, if I'm remembering correctly is "Suan Zao Ren Tang", roughly translated as "date seed soup" (or decoction).

A couple others that are only 100-150 years old and are relatively easy to find are "An Mien Pian", translated as "good sleep tablet" (often times you'll find this formula spelled differently, the last two words having their e's & their a's switched). And Bu Nao Wan (nourish brain pill).

That being said, one really has to find their unique rhythm and dosage schedule with the date seed medicines, especially with the first two formulas mentioned since they contain a higher amount of this fascinating plant seed.

Throughout the decades I've noticed that the dosage amount and frequency of dosage can very widely, not only from person to person, but also from week to week.

I've seen it correct simple imbalances in a matter of days or weeks. Others, who have really messed themselves up with pharmaceuticals often times find they need to take it for a long time (i.e. months or years).

Personally I have found that if one exercises hard enough every day (try living on a farm, especially off-grid), one finds oneself too tired and relaxed to have insomnia although anxiety can still be an issue, albeit not nearly as intense.

That's all for tonight kids.

Go do some research and some experimenting. I've got to get some sleep.

 

[Doc Buxin]

Hey Doc! I am just starting to study TCM!

Best of luck to you urtica!

TCM is simply the most eloquent, genius system of medicine.

Really grasping it takes a serious letting-go of some Western cultural paradigms that most modern minds don't let go of so easily, but the knowledge is well worth the effort.