Recurring DMT/Mushroom/Acid Trip - always the same - Why?

[Cazman043]

Hi guys, i used to have a great variety of trips, each trip was different and everytime i'd trip, i'd enter a different land, with different things to see and do. I started to use psychedelics more for spiritual purposes now, and in doing so, i came to a dramatic turn of events since i did 3 grams of mushrooms. Since then, tripping hasn't been the same, because, well, its always the same, and at that, unpleasant.

So i took 3 grams of mushrooms, and the trip became sexual, lustful, filled with desire and the ego… pretty much, a complete confrontation of my ego, and with that, my ego felt it was trying to take over and i had to sit there and watch it try to take over, or i could fight it. Well, i ended up getting through that trip with a complete acceptance of the self and felt very enlightened. However, since then, my trips have been sexual. No matter what type of drug. DMT, i have sexual visuals, LSD i have sexual visuals, this wouldn't bother me, but it seems to be unpleasant every time i have this trip, and i do think that sex is my weak point in my ego… maybe its trying to attack that? (haven't done mushrooms since then, maybe that could be the answer to altering these persisting symptoms). I would say, in total, since that mushroom experience, i've probably done dmt 6 times, and acid once… but this has left me asking… WHY am i getting persisting symptoms in each trip.

I feel my last LSD experience taught me i need to alter my perspective, in doing so, will that cease the persisting symptoms. Anyways, really interested in hearing your opinions on why we have reoccurring trips, what is the reasoning behind it, have you ever experience the same thing and discovered a way to alter the state?

I decided to keep this post short, so maybe i left out some important detail, if any of you guys can give me some advice i'd really appreciate it as it does puzzle me. Thank you

 

[Entheogenerator]

I can't say I have ever experienced this, but I am intrigued... What do you mean when you say that you think sex is your weak point in your ego?

My first instinct is that perhaps it is something going on in your subconscious, and it could be trying to kind of surface itself. Is there some problem occurring in your sex life that you haven't addressed? Has this problem affected your sex life or your sexual desire in any way? Have your dreams been more sex-themed since this started happening as well?

 

[Cazman043]

I can't say I have ever experienced this, but I am intrigued... What do you mean when you say that you think sex is your weak point in your ego?

My first instinct is that perhaps it is something going on in your subconscious, and it could be trying to kind of surface itself. Is there some problem occurring in your sex life that you haven't addressed? Has this problem affected your sex life or your sexual desire in any way? Have your dreams been more sex-themed since this started happening as well?

Hey man, thanks for your interest
My girlfriend and myself, have run into troubles due to her past with other men, as i had no past and she did, this affected me greatly, and i am learning to accept it. Including that, it has really brought out things in my ego, i sometimes have sex, purely for sex, the physical pleasure… the lustful desire, this sometimes, can also turn into all the time, when my ego takes over. When i say sex is the weak point in my ego, i mean, my ego can feed off sex, as i hold it so dearly in terms of my beliefs that you should only ever have the one partner, as well as allowing myself to fall under the spell of lustful desire, and being so caught up on her sexual past. I feel like, for me to have an ego death, i need to accept her past, as well as have sex for love, not for lust… and so i need to stop giving into the desires, as well as being more open with my perspectives, and forgiving to myself and my GF's past. So in your question of is there some problem occurring in your sex life, it is the fact i have not accepted her past completely, which has then led to ideas manifesting in my mind such as cheating and leaving the relationship to go experience other sexual relationships. As a result, yes, some dreams are based on the ideas of sexual desire/cheating. However, i also have extremely vivd dreams based on me growing spiritually. The other night, i had a dream i grew angelic wings, as well as my ego being completely shattered as i ran into darkness, died, and then was reborn.

As a result, i do feel as if i am making progress and benefiting with each psychedelic experience, as well as day by day, through meditation and acknowledging each thought… Although i do keep on running into the same, persisting experience, i think it is my ego trying to fight back a place in my mind, and so once i come to a complete sense of oneness with the self and environment, i feel the trips will change. But, like i said, i'd love to hear other perspective as i find i am only a small piece in a giant puzzle, and other perspectives can help me look at the puzzle in different ways, so that i can put it together Thanks for your interest in my post!

 

[Entheogenerator]

Well I'm glad to hear that you feel like you are making progress! I would imagine that once you're able to work through these issues, the sexual element in your psychedelic experiences and dreams will most likely become less pronounced and no longer dominate the experiences.

I can understand how it can be hard to accept a person's past. But it seems like you recognize that this is probably a way in which your ego is getting in the way of your life and your spiritual connection with another person. But I think if you truly love this person, eventually you will find a way to get beyond all that, albeit with some effort.

I definitely understand how one's ego can feed off of sex. I feel like this is something that is very pronounced in our society. And it can go both ways really, some people stroke their egos by going out every weekend in search of one-night-stands or bragging about how many men/women they have been with; while others pride themselves on their perceived "sexual purity" because they resist copulation until they are married. Neither is better or worse than the other, as they are both simply prideful ways of feeding the ego which fit into whatever beliefs the person subscribes to.

Unfortunately we human beings are merely animals. As animals, ingrained deep in our DNA is a drive to fornicate in order to ensure the future of our species. But we are also capable of love: forming deep, spiritual connections with others. It can be very difficult for a person to balance these two things in a way that they don't interfere with one another or with other aspects of their life. I think for some people it seems to become slightly easier with age to find this balance, as the production of the chemicals in our body that fuel our carnal lust seems to slow down a bit. I think every human being is capable of finding this balance, but for some it may require more conscious effort than for others.

I'm not sure if anyt of this will be helpful for you, perhaps I'm beginning to ramble a bit. But I hope you are able to conquer this issue to the point that it no longer has a detrimental impact on the rest of your life. It sounds like you are exploring this problem in a way that I think will help you find what you are looking for.
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