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Returning home

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Rising Star
Hello nexians!
Registering feels like another step of returning home.
My journey began as a teenager when I wanted to find out where the idea of magic came from that I picked up from playing all these pen and paper role playing games. So I went to the local library to read every book in the shelf concerning parapsychology. Working with pendulums, tarot cards, ghosts and so on. Until I stumbled upon a book that rigorously cleaned up with all those myths around the bermuda triangle and renowned "magicians" for instance. The punchline was there is no magic whatsoever with all these sharlatans. It is just tricks and deception. Except maybe for the ayahuasceros and vegetarios in Central and South America. Of course that sparked curiosity in an already curious adolescent. Maybe it resonated even heavier with me because I might have picked up some unconscious vibes on a Guatemala holiday as a child.

So I did my fair share of psychedelics. Mostly smart dogs that were available at that time. I never did any kind of DMT, because the available information seemingly suggesting it is a very terrifying experience. And diverse information was hard to come by as you would have to buy a book to get another opinion. I did however participate in a very convincing workshop from a guy on a psy trance festival. He adressed every single danger that might come up in a very understandable way and I fondly remember that he would always add: "Trust me, I know that from experience." We exchanged email adresses and I asked how I could get my hands on Dimitry in Europe. He in return offered to sell me some from Canada suggesting I could become a distributor. I never wrote back. I was scared. That would be way too easy. And dangerous. I believe SWIM was not old enough to internalize that strictly living according to law is not the same as according to what is good. Looking back now and writing these lines I come to realize that this probably was the turning point for me. I quit hallucinogenics during my twens. I was not ready for that step in many ways, so I went into another direction.

Fast forward 15 years or so. I stumble upon a lifestyle design site. They mention ayahuasca on a foot note. Hmmm. Wasn't that something I wanted to try when I was younger? Through friends and friends' friends I manage to book my first ceremony online. I am excited and ready. So ready that I did my purging at the very moment when i clicked the link for the booking. No additional purging through the experience. Talk about non linearity of time... The day after the ceremony I meet a highschool friend I haven't seen in years. He's like: "Are you still into that?" No, not still. Again.

And after that my interest was more than sparked again. Also, those peyote I grew from seeds some 15 years ago were a kind of constant reminder that I still had some unfinished business...

I'm very happy and grateful to see such an active forum with so many contributors. I am looking forward to expand my horizons once again and share what I can.
Welcome back werver,

The molecular teachers can be a very different experience when you've a couple of more decades of building neural motor pathways. It's indeed, an interesting community, and from what I can tell, lots of magicians here :)
Welcome to the Nexus!

How was that ayahuasca experience compared to your previous ideas and expectations?

Whats next in your plan with psychedelics?

Oh also, please don't talk about drug selling/buying here :)

Be well!
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