smoalkiest
Rising Star
29 year old male, did DMT when I was a teen a couple times and once as a young man was scared off both times.
I used to do psychedelics alot as a teen had a lot of scary experiences where I couldn't relax and faught the feeling of death nearly every time. Ketamine is my one true love however. OBE on ketamine doesn't scare me, it's more the physical sensations that overwhelm me with psychedelics.
I have been studying spirituality and drugs and neuropharmacology and ethnobotany and mckenna since I was 12 years old.
A scientist and psychonaut/shaman at heart, but in practice I've always been inclined towards cowardice and giving up during difficult tasks.
More a deficiency in how I was raised or how I allowed myself to grow up, but nonetheless. It seems like DMT and psychedelics aren't for me but I did DMt before as a teen and understood the true power of the substance as being the closest thing to magic on this earth.
I have always obsessed over the entities and quite frankly feel like I need help becoming a better person. So I'm considering going back to try DMT again the right way this time and make sure I get a breakthrough dose and let the cards land where they may.
I'm just hoping I can come out a changed person, I'm absolutely terrified but I think about it all the time for the last like 10-20 years
I'm not working right now and had to move in with Grandma so my life isn't in a "stable" or "happy" place
But this depression and hopelessness won't budge. Only thing that keeps the demons at bay is weed and masturbation and videogames. Ruined all my friendships and relationships as a teen.
I'm a bad person and feel like I deserve to go to hell anyway, but I'm hoping maybe DMT can help me see the light. Or if anything maybe dark entities will punish me for my selfishness I have no clue. I can't go in with expectations, only thing I have is fear that I'm gonna be so damn scared
I used to do psychedelics alot as a teen had a lot of scary experiences where I couldn't relax and faught the feeling of death nearly every time. Ketamine is my one true love however. OBE on ketamine doesn't scare me, it's more the physical sensations that overwhelm me with psychedelics.
I have been studying spirituality and drugs and neuropharmacology and ethnobotany and mckenna since I was 12 years old.
A scientist and psychonaut/shaman at heart, but in practice I've always been inclined towards cowardice and giving up during difficult tasks.
More a deficiency in how I was raised or how I allowed myself to grow up, but nonetheless. It seems like DMT and psychedelics aren't for me but I did DMt before as a teen and understood the true power of the substance as being the closest thing to magic on this earth.
I have always obsessed over the entities and quite frankly feel like I need help becoming a better person. So I'm considering going back to try DMT again the right way this time and make sure I get a breakthrough dose and let the cards land where they may.
I'm just hoping I can come out a changed person, I'm absolutely terrified but I think about it all the time for the last like 10-20 years
I'm not working right now and had to move in with Grandma so my life isn't in a "stable" or "happy" place
But this depression and hopelessness won't budge. Only thing that keeps the demons at bay is weed and masturbation and videogames. Ruined all my friendships and relationships as a teen.
I'm a bad person and feel like I deserve to go to hell anyway, but I'm hoping maybe DMT can help me see the light. Or if anything maybe dark entities will punish me for my selfishness I have no clue. I can't go in with expectations, only thing I have is fear that I'm gonna be so damn scared
