Ivyinc,
Welcome to the Nexus. Yeah, best to read that Attitude link. This place is not like other sites, even other drug sites. The standards here are very mature.
Regardless, welcome.
Sorry you were drinking your sorrows away.
My dogma is . . . ditch the bar, keep your day job and fund your next at home project . . . . . DMT extraction!
Yessir, by just taking time to be careful about the rules and be willing to read and learn, you too can create your own psychedelic drugs at home. Things like DMT, harmalas, mescaline and more.
The Wiki link above leads to extraction paths. Check. It. Out.
Seriously. In an era of contaminated recreational drug supplies (Is that DMT I vaped or Fentanyl? Will my ego die or will I die?) and unbounded greed, all I can say is the cleanest and most potent DMT you will ever get your hands on will be DMT you extract yourself.
If YOU are capable of cooking a meal from scratch by following a recipe, or perhaps assembling a piece of IKEA furniture (i.e. carefully follow directions) then you are capable of safely extracting DMT and other entheogens in the safety and comfort of your own home.
Again, I welcome you and hope we will hear more from you and about you.