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Second experience with DMT... I break through...

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Enkidu.uzt

Enkidu.uzt

Rising Star
I do some research, and the next day I am determined to try again and breakthrough.

Same as the previous attempt, sitting on my couch, my coffee table in front of me, incense and "nandin" radio station. Load my dose, pack the weed. Hit and hold it in.

This time is differently. I hear a noise begin. It sounds as if a spaceship is preparing launch off. Huge distortion in the audio. I wait a second and see.. I know this is the beggining of "Launching off". The visual room has gained its "Whimsical and Magical" flow..

I hit it again and hold it in... The same effect as before... The auditory aspect intensifies and ramps up. I close my eyes, and as i am holding my breathe, it seems as if something strong is beggining... I can tell I am getting closer... I feel scared... But I keep forcing myself to relax and push through.

My initial packed dose is gone. I do not know how much time has passed but I have not yet broke through. Online I read that you must keep smoking. So I say "Fuck it", pack up a dose without weighing it, hit it hard, hold it in, and BAM!

This time everything changes. Not just the whimsical magical visual feel similar to LSD and Mushrooms.

I feel as if my brain is a computer. My eyes are closed. I hear this strange sound, static, like what I imagine it would feel like to be a computer and someone is crunching all sorts of codes. I am scared my brain is being rewired as I hear these strange sounds and feel this powerful force in my brain as I seem to see a brain lit up with immense electricity and sparks in my mind. Like a computer..

I force my eyes open. I cannot tell if I am breathing. Everything has become a single plane. There is no wall behind me, there is no wall in front of me. Everything is pushed together as if flat on a piece of paper. I force myself to pull out away from my couch. I cannot tell if I am breathing.

I force myself to breathe, in, out. Not slowly. I feel nothing. I look to the table, everything looks as if I imagine it was carved out of wood. Flat surfaces. Not much detail. Just clean shapes and lines and surfaces... It looks as if wood. Everything. I pick up my inhaler and hit it just in case. Is this even real ? Does this even do anything? I continue breathing, though I do not feel it. Hitting my inhaler I am assured my breathing is fine.

I pull my arms up and hold my hands in front of me. I look down. I am the same, made entirely of wood. The entire time I am terrified. My adrenaline is racing. Things are strange. What did I take? What is this ? Did he know...? Was this a cruel joke ? Is he laughing at me right now while I experience this? 15 minutes, thats how long I have to last. I hope to god thats all it lasts for. As soon as it began, I want nothing more than for it to end. I walk to my sliding door on my second floor apartment and open it for fresh air. I look at my balcony and I am scared. What if I jump off? I close the door having got my fresh air and sit on the couch where I am not in danger of falling...

I try to relax. "its fine. Youre fine." I reassure myself, it helps.. I begin to calm... I sit... I wait.. Things begin to settle.. Slowly but surely. What time is it? How much longer?

As soon as I can possibly physically do it, I take the substance that is left, i walk to my room, and as if I hold the power of everything released from Pandora's Box, I place the substance in the jar and screw it on as if returning this power to its chest and locking it away...

I return to my couch... and sit... The tapesty in front of me has flickers. Flickers of light and I wonder if it will in a second be pulled into infinity as the flicker opens up and sucks us in..

it has been about 10 minutes. 15 minutes and the effects are all but gone. What was this unimaginably powerful substance..?

I am humbled beyond understanding or in a way words can convey...

I am nothing... I know nothing..

Upon reflection months later.. Was this the judgement I sought? A fool made of wood...

I have since made my own extraction. I have tried only small doses...

I will report in my next posting... I apologize for clogging with rapid posts... I feel as if I should keep each post from dragging too long...
 
Enkidu.uzt said:
I will report in my next posting... I apologize for clogging with rapid posts... I feel as if I should keep each post from dragging too long...
Click to expand...


Speaking strictly for myself, please don't feel that way.

Tell more.
Tell everything.
I believe it is healthy to talk about it, and I enjoy reading it.

Thanks for a great report.
 
Great report!

I enjoyed that alot, mainly because of how you decided to continue to push, although you loaded up an unknown amount hah .. I could never do that, just knowing what can happen, good practice to have another dose weighed out [a bit smaller though imo] instead of just chucking an unknown amount in, though I understand.. because I've done it myself. :d

Another good route is to take say 30-40mg harmala freebase sublingually, wait for it to mostly dissolve, then maybe wait a couple minutes after that ..then smoke. Doing it this way - if say you get another scenario like this one you'd just wrote out - then if you're not where you want to be you can always take another small dose of dmt right after, and since being slightly inhibited [brain] by the little bit of harmalas you took - then that second dose of dmt smoked will quickly and effortlessly propel you back in, with ease [ime]. (And honestly you have to sort've be careful because a little bit of harmalas beforehand can really potentiate that initial leap in that one makes when they smoalk].

It's powerful stuff when done proper. :)

Humbled every time I go in. There's no words that can fully encapsulate it, it's beyond all that, it makes a complete mockery of any potential idea or thought that I could ever have. All the while the most beautifully shocking thing that I've ever seen or experienced :d

Thanks for sharing
 
I am always safely in bed, often before sleep...silent darkness could help with a breakthrough, eyes closed. I like changa, building on lower doses and have had long bizarre journeys but not what I think is meant by a real breakthrough where it is totally unexplainable, I think I will know when it happens...I might have slipped through a couple of times but because I am scared to load a high dose say 50mg and blast it in one go(changa 1:1 dmt/caapi,passionflower) I'm not sure :thumb_up:
 
Thank you for the replies.

I wasn't sure if I had broke through or not... But upon more exploring of the substance I am now convinced it was in fact a breakthrough, but I had my eyes open the entire time. I learned after you should close your eyes.

The only way I will know for sure is by trying again and breaking through ...

I used the rest of the Changa I had from that experience the next day but only did small tokes and slowly explored the DMT effects at lower levels. I was too scared to go as far as I did with my previous attempt.

I have a lot of "pre-flight" anxiety and fear as well.
 
When things are the most challenging is when you learn the most.

You don't have to close your eyes, although, you are more likely to become completely immersed in what you are perceiving. Sometimes it will simply wash you away into the current with eyes open or shut.

I think the whole DMT experience requires practice. It can be overwhelming at first and then becomes something more familiar. You get used to the terrain, so to speak. Even at this stage it can simply be a total mindf*%k. Don't panic or give into the fear. In fact go into the fear and you may just find something beautiful on the other side of it. Fear is totally natural. The ego wants nothing to do with DMT as the ego can be utterly destroyed during the experience. Some of the best journeys I have ever had is when I forget who I am. Each to their own. I like jumping into the abyss. It holds such valuable lessons for me.

Keep going when you are ready. If not, take a break, nothing wrong with a break in the least bit. Take some time to think about your experiences and what they mean to you. Integrate and relax. Go back when you feel a pull or your courage and curiosity becomes stronger. It's ok to be fearful, I think we all go through this.

I enjoyed reading your post! Thank you for sharing and I hope to hear more should you decide to venture further.
 
Exactly... I struggle to let go.. my ego holds tightly..

I will no doubt be exploring more. I appreciate your words and advice.
 
The ego always will be coming back and try to stop us before lighting the pipe!:) I can go in a full political battle with mine pre take off haha.. and afterwards he is gone and I am very decided to smoke this every day for the rest of my life but... when the ego next day has grown strong then its another story again haha.. And before putting 5gr of Mushrooms in my mouth I have to do some serious Muay thai on the ego!;)

More... I think eyes open when smoking "breakthrough" dosage is not the best idea due to your brains relation to the fuck up reality is nearly always resulting in terror.. With eye closed and focused you can push more through and it is very different..

A great ego killer that is mentioned above I think is to start with a little bit lower dosage the first toke so your body and mind can recognize the beautiful substance and create calmness and eager to go further.

Good luck
 
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