kaalishiva
Rising Star
I posted the tek in another post.
This was heavily grounded and embodied. And this time (I did another tek last time and experienced an NDE in a blizzard), things didn’t turn into a natural disaster.
The inner shaman in me came alive and started drumming and I had a profound release like a baby, crying in the Divine Mother’s infinite fractal net (Indra’s net), like a little dew drop on it. She pacified me.
Then there was a deep experience of neon colored big eyed faces and trippy visuals followed by ribbon like red EM wave flares passing all around from the sky into the deep Earth.
Then I felt this weird non dual state of being of alive and dead. Like I as the identifier of this experience couldn’t really understand or didn’t even want to, it was like existence non existence like just THERE through it like it didn’t matter anymore, I just was… it didn’t matter if it was alive or dead, I just was. It was extremely impersonal.
Through my culture, after coming out of that feeling, I immediately recognized that state as Shiva, but now as I am writing this it is actually much closer to the impersonal Brahman (the philosophical concept). I was it. A strong sense of “I am” came through, and I was conscious of power, power as sound. It was an infinite resonance echo of breath and sound which were the same. Shiva, the personal Brahman, the Aham (I am), was a sound artist. I could feel the art of creation as just vibrational sound. Then there was Kaali, the end game, the deepest void, the canvas in which this sound art is.
A lot more happened in between where I walked out into the garden and did stretches, and then tucked myself in the bed because I literally was having vertigo. Then there was gratitude and I shifted my location again, and had a deep contemplative mediation in which Vishnu showed up to stop the eternal cascade of Kaali and Shiva into entropy.
Then there was a deep reconciliation and recognition of the pain the avatar went through as a child, followed by intense body twist postures, going outside into the pool and swirling and then showering as if the water was an infinite waterfall and feeling the entire universe inside the body.
Truly a grounded experience.
This was heavily grounded and embodied. And this time (I did another tek last time and experienced an NDE in a blizzard), things didn’t turn into a natural disaster.
The inner shaman in me came alive and started drumming and I had a profound release like a baby, crying in the Divine Mother’s infinite fractal net (Indra’s net), like a little dew drop on it. She pacified me.
Then there was a deep experience of neon colored big eyed faces and trippy visuals followed by ribbon like red EM wave flares passing all around from the sky into the deep Earth.
Then I felt this weird non dual state of being of alive and dead. Like I as the identifier of this experience couldn’t really understand or didn’t even want to, it was like existence non existence like just THERE through it like it didn’t matter anymore, I just was… it didn’t matter if it was alive or dead, I just was. It was extremely impersonal.
Through my culture, after coming out of that feeling, I immediately recognized that state as Shiva, but now as I am writing this it is actually much closer to the impersonal Brahman (the philosophical concept). I was it. A strong sense of “I am” came through, and I was conscious of power, power as sound. It was an infinite resonance echo of breath and sound which were the same. Shiva, the personal Brahman, the Aham (I am), was a sound artist. I could feel the art of creation as just vibrational sound. Then there was Kaali, the end game, the deepest void, the canvas in which this sound art is.
A lot more happened in between where I walked out into the garden and did stretches, and then tucked myself in the bed because I literally was having vertigo. Then there was gratitude and I shifted my location again, and had a deep contemplative mediation in which Vishnu showed up to stop the eternal cascade of Kaali and Shiva into entropy.
Then there was a deep reconciliation and recognition of the pain the avatar went through as a child, followed by intense body twist postures, going outside into the pool and swirling and then showering as if the water was an infinite waterfall and feeling the entire universe inside the body.
Truly a grounded experience.
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