Spirituality and relationships.. problem.

[GroundSound]

Hello nexus, (This is open discussion, right?) :d

I know this may be the wrong place to talk about this but i figured since it somewhat has something to do with spirituality, and i know everyone on here is very accepting and understanding, i figured, why not.

So, my girlfriend has recently been on this new "spirituality" kick, reading books on buddhism, meditating, and even ordering some kind of fish oil to remove calcium build up from her pineal gland..?

anywho, i feel like although if she feels it will make her happy to start all of this, it's sort of giving me a weird feeling inside. I don't feel like it's very healthy for a relationship to be two different religions, although she says she's just experimenting and is not fully Buddhist, I have no idea what i believe. We both (before she went on her new found interest in spirituality) didn't really know what to believe, we were christians that sort of both drifted away when we were together a couple years ago.

This whole spirituality thing came out of nowhere.. and i feel as though she may be taking this whole thing farther than it should be and it may get a little out of hand, i'm not a fan of these "spirituality" fake hippie fads. I'm not sure her actual underlying reason for all of this or why it started, but i don't want this to get out of hand to the point where it just straight up annoys me. because knowing her, If she dives so deep into this spirituality and buddhist stuff, shes going to get this somewhat over cocky attitude about this because she thinks has such an open mind and is all spiritual and buddhist and blah blah blah.

i just wanna chill.

anyways nexus, i know she is the one, and i want nothing but her happiness. but some things are hard for me to ignore, and if it gets to the point where it just starts to annoy me because it gets out of hand, what should i do?

what should i do about this situation as a whole?

sorry for coming to a DMT site about relationship advice.. I do feel sort of a fool for this.

Much love.

 

[dio]

I feel like I may be fairly qualified to offer advice on this, but I also want to be careful not to dismiss your feelings or override any of your concerns. I should say that I am a person fairly devote to eastern modalities of thinking, and probably somewhat initially biased to your girlfriends point of view.

I say I may be fairly qualified to comment on this because I was raised Christian and found it lacking to satisfy all my understandings, begun to dig deeper and deeper, until I found my way through buddhism, hidnuism, yoga, occult magickal traditions, native american shamanism and a few other things. I can deeply emotionally identify with the feeling that there is something lacking from Christianity or all western thinking concerning spirituality. However I want to note I do not disregard Christianity, I am not an atheist, I am not anti-christ. Just I felt there were missing holes in my understanding that eastern philosophy filled.

The instinct to go to eastern philosophy over western, for me, wasn't an instinct to just 'explore', it was an instinct to dig deeper. You know if you want to look at mysticism 2000 years ago, you look at Christ. But what if you want to look at what was going on 4000 years ago, or even 10,000 years ago? The truth is western mysticism is fairly young in the grand scheme of things. If your looking to dig deeper, that meaning, if your looking to venture further back into human history, human anthropology, this will land you in Vedic philosophy (which Hinduism and Buddhism spawned from), Yogic philosophy and shamanism.

So when you refer to eastern things as a 'fad' or some sort, it may be in some ways. But the instinct behind this I feel is not to be in a 'fad', or 'trendy', the instinct is to dig deeper, the instinct is to look farther back. The instinct comes from general dissatisfication with the current state of reality and your understanding, through western mysticism (atleast for me).

I am not at all ashamed to state that, through the lens of Vedic and Yogic philsophy, things like Christianity seem adolescent, and simple, to me. But I want you to understand I in no way dismiss the value of Christianity with that statement. It's just that yogic and vedic philsophies can literally go back 20,000 years in human history. Whereas Christianity is around 2,000 years old. When you become well versed in ancient eastern mysticism you can create logical understandings within those contexts of what Christ literally was. Understanding Yogic perspective takes alot of mysticism and 'magick' out of Christianity, becuase it is literally a vastly older form of mysticism, and in alot of ways you see how Christianity actually spawned out of it.

With all that said, I know I am starting to corner on what you refer to as a 'cocky' attitude. "I know something you don't", which I really dislike being viewed as this. Which is why I say I don't dismiss Christ or the value of such things at all. I am not trying to be cocky, or in the slightest bit say I know something you don't. I just want to attempt to give you a realistic context and viewpoint of how someone who has delved deep in ancient eastern mysticism comes to see such things. I think it inevitable that your girlfriend may begin to feel she understands something over what Christianity offers. This doesn't have anything to do with eastern mysticism being 'better', I think it all has to do with it being older. Much much older. Older does not necessarily mean better. But when you look back in human history, and anthropological development of humanity, there are things about western mysticism or Christianity that sometimes you may wonder (atleast I did), where did that come from? And if you go further back in time, you can find the roots of such things in eastern mysticism.

If she begins to think this entitles her to 'overrule' you or Christianity, I really think she may be misunderstanding things. But she may begin to connect dots, that make sense of certain things, that western mysticism couldn't make sense of. I know I am being very allegorical, but the subject is complex.

I would just say, learn from her. There is alot to learn from eastern mysticism that isn't conflicting to Christianity, and also vice versa. Respect her as you always have, and I would expect she would do the same for you. Being a person devote to eastern modalities of thinking, I personally would not desire a mate with the same predispositions. I think more value is found in discovering the middle ground, and commonalities, between differing contexts.

 

[Jin]

dont worry :thumb_up:

 

[cyb]

...be Happy :thumb_up:

 

[smokerx]

I guess you cant do much about it. She will do what ever she decides to do and you can not change it or you should not try to change it IMO.

Just go by your feelings, listen to your heart and if it tells you to go the other way then you will have to make a choice.

I am Sorry to hear about your problem my friend.

 

[GroundSound]

Thank you all for your replies, especially dio, you deffinetly opened my eyes to new points on the subject and i should now have a better understanding of this problem. I will continue to talk to her about it and we will see how things go, thank you all once again!

Much love.

 

[SpartanII]

I second what dio said.

Spirituality is not a "fad", it's not a dogmatic religion like christianity. She will find her path, and if it's with an eastern one like Buddhism, which has way more practical methods and techniques for self-love and discovery than christianity, then what's the problem? It sounds like she's thinking "outside the box", which is a good thing!

 

[paso]

Okay, Groundsound so I don't know you, but I read what you wrote so here is what I think:
Your girlfriend has started to walk the spiritual path, which means she is searching for something. That something is ultimately the truth. There is only one truth, no debate on that.
So searching for reality, or should I say god or endless unimaginable beauty is the right of every living thing, because she is god also.

Your concerns seem to me like the screams of the ego which tries to hold on to something that it nows. Change is a source for fear. Thats why you wrote on this forum I guess.
I think you should think about your mental fixations and thinking patterns because: hey at least now you found a big one!
Actually you are complaining that your girlfriend wants to find herself!?
Ridiculous if you ask me...

So here is a tipp from a fellow monkeylike creature: why do I think the way I do? ask that with every thought you personally identify with, actually any thought

I wish you two all the best, and one little personal something from me :
LOVE IS THE ANSWER!

 

[highRvibratoryfreq]

just as i was about to post about a problem i am facing, here i read a similar situation, but kind of in reverse, i hope you dont mind if i share it..

i fell in love with a beautiful person this year we travelled and had a very very lovely magical time that i couldnt even put into words, although now we are far apart and cant be together, we have been in touch a lot, and i am a spiritual person but not to any particular religion i believe there is good in all teachings, buddhism and mantras do seem to resonate with me the most on a personal level, however this girl was raised a very strict christian, and because of this fell out with her parents, now she is rebuilding this relationship with them and at the same time with her strong belief in jesus and christianity, and she feels if i dont share those beliefs then it just isnt going to work. now this is a difficult and confusing situation, as i cant just believe in one thing it doesnt make sense to me it wouldnt be true to myself so, ive had to let this whole thing go. which is very sad for both of us that i know for sure.

now im sorry if im hijacking your thread with my own story but i felt it was of a similar enough nature to share it here, and may help both of us in some way, at the very least its nice to get it off my chest!

so to cap it off i feel if i truly love somebody i have to accept there choices even if they dont fit with mine. even if that means losing them....

 

[GroundSound]

just as i was about to post about a problem i am facing, here i read a similar situation, but kind of in reverse, i hope you dont mind if i share it..

i fell in love with a beautiful person this year we travelled and had a very very lovely magical time that i couldnt even put into words, although now we are far apart and cant be together, we have been in touch a lot, and i am a spiritual person but not to any particular religion i believe there is good in all teachings, buddhism and mantras do seem to resonate with me the most on a personal level, however this girl was raised a very strict christian, and because of this fell out with her parents, now she is rebuilding this relationship with them and at the same time with her strong belief in jesus and christianity, and she feels if i dont share those beliefs then it just isnt going to work. now this is a difficult and confusing situation, as i cant just believe in one thing it doesnt make sense to me it wouldnt be true to myself so, ive had to let this whole thing go. which is very sad for both of us that i know for sure.

now im sorry if im hijacking your thread with my own story but i felt it was of a similar enough nature to share it here, and may help both of us in some way, at the very least its nice to get it off my chest!

so to cap it off i feel if i truly love somebody i have to accept there choices even if they dont fit with mine. even if that means losing them....

Very sad to hear my friend. I'm so sorry, i know how dear love can be to us all, love saves, love can also destroy. Love is the most dangerous drug of all.

 

[highRvibratoryfreq]

yes it lifts you up to the highest of places, certainly the most powerful drug there is, the absence of which can always be a difficult adjustment, but ive learnt that it has a habit of coming around when you least expect it.
and if you try to chase it or hold onto it, it can turn into something quite the opposite!