MeecroHyperion
meecro
Greetings fellow Earthling, what a pleasure to meet you :thumb_up:
My name means 'Tiny Titan' in Greek. It's a handle I've used for a decade, and I think it describes DMT quite nicely. I like Eastern philosophies, Western psychology, Speculative Fiction literature and I think they overlap very satisfyingly. I consider myself a Bhuddist: What a gentle and loving religion.
Like yourself, I am the result of a series of accidents. I am love, joy, loss and anger, but mostly curiosity. About you, the rest of the conscious universe, what we all are, and what we can be. I think we could be amazingly good at optimizing outcomes for each newborn to reach their potential in a sustainable relationship with our environment.
But first the western world needs to heal, reconnect with spirit, and reconcile with profound and ongoing injustices to it's beleaguered and conquered, including the environment which sustains us and our fellow life-forms. I believe we will soon have an opportunity to choose this direction, as the vast false global economy collapses under the weight of demands from it's elite. Western Laissez-faire vulture-capitalism has no need of real people: just zombie workers. Having said that, pure, consciously directed capitalism is built-in to any replicating energy system. 'Seed' capital has been working beautifully for aeons
We must re-unite with our parent civilizations (One of the obvious grandfather civilizations, still extant, is 2500 generations of the First People's of Australia, who brought several sacred plants with them from South America, via the Phillipines - Acacia's). Then we will hopefully take our rightful place as the baby civilization to the old, wise ones.
My brain phenotype is currently labelled 'Bipolar' in this culture. A label I once received as a curse, but now realize as an amazing gift, as anyone's brain must be. The pain my 'illness' has caused myself and those around me has, at times, been immense. However, the 'forced learning', while resented almost as much as homework in high-school, has been enormously valuable to my - and their - growth as conscious entities. I now recognize psychosis not as a 'split' with reality, but a cosmic re-perception of it, almost at a cellular level. Madness indeed. I suffered delusions such as the interconnectedness of all things, that we are all, at some level, precisely the same person. Love was the guiding principle of the universe. Enter western medicine. Sorry mate, it's just not true.
Didn't continue past 1st year chem or zoology - my first episode intervened and I never took them up again. I studied electronics, computers and social psych, eventually.... Worked as an engineer on mobile phone infrastructure, handset development, then electronic election systems before my 3rd 'episode' put paid to that after I attended a consciousness workshop. Flipped me back into a psychotic, delusional state. Lost family, house etc. 90% of relationships don't survive a psychotic episode, sad but that's the stats.
Long hospitalisation, suicidal depression, 12 sessions of ECT, 13 long, long years of recovery. At last I had a proper diagnosis: 'genetic' predisposition(father was/is a hopeless alcohol addict, and pretty much every male relative). Bipolar, not 'drug-induced'. Unsurprisingly, I self-medicated, but not with alcohol(Sooooo much more dignified to be a pot-head :roll: ). I HAD wondered why none of my friends who took WAY, way more and varied drugs than me seemed to go 'psychotic'. Depression I was used to.
Jeez this is getting off beam. I don't feel sorry for myself, anymore. I have wanted to die but not been allowed to for a long, long time. I couldn't do that to my child: whatever suffering a parent must endure to protect their progeny from avoidable harm, just must be endured, no matter what. I continued self-medicating; without cannabis, my life wasn't worth living - it got me through with some inspiration, where pharmaceuticals just gave baseline survival. However, cannabis renders me mentally stupid and it makes me uncomfortable to know I'm dependent. Hopefully not for much longer....
My daughter's nearly full grown, old enough to get to know the parts of me I have necessarily hidden from her. We do coffee and she is a beautiful young woman. I feel it's time for me to continue my journey, have new adventures. I am not afraid of death. Death is my warm friend and constant companion, and I am grateful for her company. One day we will meet at her place, and it will be a great day.
But not today. A wonderful thing happened. Over the last 6 months I have assembled a modest chemistry set, to follow an interest in essential oils. Amazing what you can get for almost nix on ebay and aliexpress. Last week, I somehow wound up at a strange website while searching for chemical solvent properties. There were seriously intelligent and enlightened people there, all talking about something I'd never heard of in over 40 years of existence.
My next search was 'What is DMT?', and then straight back to the magic site: DMT-nexus.
It has been 10 days - I performed my first extraction last week and learned so, so, so much. I will write it up when the entire experience has crystalized in my mind. No, I still haven't tried DMT - :!: someone was looking out for me and may have stopped me killing myself accidentally(a truly ironic tragedy if it had happened). I have taken many, many deep breaths and many steps back and am determined to do this properly. Whoever that was, thank you from the bottom of my soul.
Because if I can have 20 years of feeling the way I now know I can feel, and be, then every second of every day will be a joy and a delight, and I want to be able to share that with my daughter, if not the entire community of sentient beings, and in particular, you
My Salmon of Doubt lays slain, finally. The cosmos has answered my prayers and delivered me my answer in a box. On the box is a label: DMT. Just like in Pulp Fiction, the answers are more questions, which is as it should be. I don't HAVE to open the box, now. I feel my faith in the existence of the greater universe is now titanium-coated and I could live calmly and quietly through the rest of my days.
But like Bruce Lee in 'Enter the Dragon', I just have to peek inside :? Yes there are dangers, but I feel I have been led here for a purpose. The psychosis has somehow integrated with whatever other selves are in here. I'm not, I think, in danger of 'freaking out' again and upsetting those around me by babbling incoherently about things that make no sense to others.
If I'm not ready, then I'm ready to be. May life bring you every happiness :d
My name means 'Tiny Titan' in Greek. It's a handle I've used for a decade, and I think it describes DMT quite nicely. I like Eastern philosophies, Western psychology, Speculative Fiction literature and I think they overlap very satisfyingly. I consider myself a Bhuddist: What a gentle and loving religion.
Like yourself, I am the result of a series of accidents. I am love, joy, loss and anger, but mostly curiosity. About you, the rest of the conscious universe, what we all are, and what we can be. I think we could be amazingly good at optimizing outcomes for each newborn to reach their potential in a sustainable relationship with our environment.
But first the western world needs to heal, reconnect with spirit, and reconcile with profound and ongoing injustices to it's beleaguered and conquered, including the environment which sustains us and our fellow life-forms. I believe we will soon have an opportunity to choose this direction, as the vast false global economy collapses under the weight of demands from it's elite. Western Laissez-faire vulture-capitalism has no need of real people: just zombie workers. Having said that, pure, consciously directed capitalism is built-in to any replicating energy system. 'Seed' capital has been working beautifully for aeons
We must re-unite with our parent civilizations (One of the obvious grandfather civilizations, still extant, is 2500 generations of the First People's of Australia, who brought several sacred plants with them from South America, via the Phillipines - Acacia's). Then we will hopefully take our rightful place as the baby civilization to the old, wise ones.
My brain phenotype is currently labelled 'Bipolar' in this culture. A label I once received as a curse, but now realize as an amazing gift, as anyone's brain must be. The pain my 'illness' has caused myself and those around me has, at times, been immense. However, the 'forced learning', while resented almost as much as homework in high-school, has been enormously valuable to my - and their - growth as conscious entities. I now recognize psychosis not as a 'split' with reality, but a cosmic re-perception of it, almost at a cellular level. Madness indeed. I suffered delusions such as the interconnectedness of all things, that we are all, at some level, precisely the same person. Love was the guiding principle of the universe. Enter western medicine. Sorry mate, it's just not true.
Didn't continue past 1st year chem or zoology - my first episode intervened and I never took them up again. I studied electronics, computers and social psych, eventually.... Worked as an engineer on mobile phone infrastructure, handset development, then electronic election systems before my 3rd 'episode' put paid to that after I attended a consciousness workshop. Flipped me back into a psychotic, delusional state. Lost family, house etc. 90% of relationships don't survive a psychotic episode, sad but that's the stats.
Long hospitalisation, suicidal depression, 12 sessions of ECT, 13 long, long years of recovery. At last I had a proper diagnosis: 'genetic' predisposition(father was/is a hopeless alcohol addict, and pretty much every male relative). Bipolar, not 'drug-induced'. Unsurprisingly, I self-medicated, but not with alcohol(Sooooo much more dignified to be a pot-head :roll: ). I HAD wondered why none of my friends who took WAY, way more and varied drugs than me seemed to go 'psychotic'. Depression I was used to.
Jeez this is getting off beam. I don't feel sorry for myself, anymore. I have wanted to die but not been allowed to for a long, long time. I couldn't do that to my child: whatever suffering a parent must endure to protect their progeny from avoidable harm, just must be endured, no matter what. I continued self-medicating; without cannabis, my life wasn't worth living - it got me through with some inspiration, where pharmaceuticals just gave baseline survival. However, cannabis renders me mentally stupid and it makes me uncomfortable to know I'm dependent. Hopefully not for much longer....
My daughter's nearly full grown, old enough to get to know the parts of me I have necessarily hidden from her. We do coffee and she is a beautiful young woman. I feel it's time for me to continue my journey, have new adventures. I am not afraid of death. Death is my warm friend and constant companion, and I am grateful for her company. One day we will meet at her place, and it will be a great day.
But not today. A wonderful thing happened. Over the last 6 months I have assembled a modest chemistry set, to follow an interest in essential oils. Amazing what you can get for almost nix on ebay and aliexpress. Last week, I somehow wound up at a strange website while searching for chemical solvent properties. There were seriously intelligent and enlightened people there, all talking about something I'd never heard of in over 40 years of existence.
My next search was 'What is DMT?', and then straight back to the magic site: DMT-nexus.
It has been 10 days - I performed my first extraction last week and learned so, so, so much. I will write it up when the entire experience has crystalized in my mind. No, I still haven't tried DMT - :!: someone was looking out for me and may have stopped me killing myself accidentally(a truly ironic tragedy if it had happened). I have taken many, many deep breaths and many steps back and am determined to do this properly. Whoever that was, thank you from the bottom of my soul.
Because if I can have 20 years of feeling the way I now know I can feel, and be, then every second of every day will be a joy and a delight, and I want to be able to share that with my daughter, if not the entire community of sentient beings, and in particular, you
My Salmon of Doubt lays slain, finally. The cosmos has answered my prayers and delivered me my answer in a box. On the box is a label: DMT. Just like in Pulp Fiction, the answers are more questions, which is as it should be. I don't HAVE to open the box, now. I feel my faith in the existence of the greater universe is now titanium-coated and I could live calmly and quietly through the rest of my days.
But like Bruce Lee in 'Enter the Dragon', I just have to peek inside :? Yes there are dangers, but I feel I have been led here for a purpose. The psychosis has somehow integrated with whatever other selves are in here. I'm not, I think, in danger of 'freaking out' again and upsetting those around me by babbling incoherently about things that make no sense to others.
If I'm not ready, then I'm ready to be. May life bring you every happiness :d