There have been a lot of threads about evil entities and dark/negative trips lately. I have had a couple pretty dark mind-warpingly-harsh trips myself. I wanted to share some thoughts from one of my harsh but enlightening ones. As a pre-thought, I in no way am stating my breakthroughs explain everything/anything or that 'negative' entities are real/not-real. I'm just sharing some hard won insights from a brutal trip.
During a very long and deep mimosa/rue tea trip I had the following insights:
- The veil between self and other is an illusion. (this goes for 'negative' entities or 'positive' ones).
-All polarity thought is a choice (good/evil, self/other, calm/fear, etc).
- Everything is circular in nature. If one goes deep enough into negative it will emerge as positive as the polarity itself was illusion. Knowing this helps find calm in even the harshest of thoughts and emotions.
- Surrender is the only path forward for either polarity and both lead to the same place.
- To go deep enough into and through pain and suffering it flips inside out and in that instant the illusion is revealed. In that instant light is the result -- True freedom and illumination
----
The trip itself was extremely hard as I felt the negative of the entire world. When the veil of self/other (ego death?) fell, I saw myself as the creator of reality and everything in it. My focus was overwhelming sorrow, disease, sadness, the problems of the world, etc and drowned in it all. Thought of a friend who was dying of liver/colon cancer but the distinction from him to me was not there. It was experiencing everything I know of the world without the 'i' filter. In that I knew this reality was of my creation.. I created both 'myself' and 'him' along with all the situations of the world. I wallowed in it all...muck...goo of creation. And I remembered. Thoughts can as easily turn polarity inside out. The only difference between good/bad is the perspective of thought that created it. In that, Cancer suddenly was a choice. It could be turned off as easily as deciding the annoying kids at the pizza joint are cute instead of annoying. In that thought I felt the crushing of all the negative creation of thought compress existence into an infinitely tiny black point of hatred... and boom it burst into the most brilliant light. Freedom of truth.
About 8-9 hours into the experience I was tired and mostly coming back to 'self'. I wanted it to end and to aid the comedown. I fixated on the thought -- if I could throw up it would speed up the comedown. I tried gagging myself... the memory of 'turning it inside out' popped up and I couldn't gag. I remembered the smell of rue would insta-nauseate me so I put my nose as far into a glass of rue tea as I could. The smell turned inside out and I had zero reaction. I knew other times in life drinking a little bit of super salty salt-water would do it. I added about a tablespoon of salt to a cup of water and drank it. Again no negative reaction. At this point I decided trying anything more may be damaging so I tried to calmly wait it out. I was back to near baseline in another 3 hours. Very long trip.
The vividness and 'ability' to use thought to 'turn negative inside out' has faded like a dream... but it still feels profoundly true. It was a glimpse of what is possible and a path forward to follow -- not the finish line.
Interestingly, as more time goes by I see my trip as less harsh and more positive. This trip was at least a few months ago and I have almost no negative thoughts remaining about it even though I do recall feeling torn apart during and shortly after it. Integration I think is also a thought-choice... to find the positive or chose to relive the negative.
During a very long and deep mimosa/rue tea trip I had the following insights:
- The veil between self and other is an illusion. (this goes for 'negative' entities or 'positive' ones).
-All polarity thought is a choice (good/evil, self/other, calm/fear, etc).
- Everything is circular in nature. If one goes deep enough into negative it will emerge as positive as the polarity itself was illusion. Knowing this helps find calm in even the harshest of thoughts and emotions.
- Surrender is the only path forward for either polarity and both lead to the same place.
- To go deep enough into and through pain and suffering it flips inside out and in that instant the illusion is revealed. In that instant light is the result -- True freedom and illumination
----
The trip itself was extremely hard as I felt the negative of the entire world. When the veil of self/other (ego death?) fell, I saw myself as the creator of reality and everything in it. My focus was overwhelming sorrow, disease, sadness, the problems of the world, etc and drowned in it all. Thought of a friend who was dying of liver/colon cancer but the distinction from him to me was not there. It was experiencing everything I know of the world without the 'i' filter. In that I knew this reality was of my creation.. I created both 'myself' and 'him' along with all the situations of the world. I wallowed in it all...muck...goo of creation. And I remembered. Thoughts can as easily turn polarity inside out. The only difference between good/bad is the perspective of thought that created it. In that, Cancer suddenly was a choice. It could be turned off as easily as deciding the annoying kids at the pizza joint are cute instead of annoying. In that thought I felt the crushing of all the negative creation of thought compress existence into an infinitely tiny black point of hatred... and boom it burst into the most brilliant light. Freedom of truth.
About 8-9 hours into the experience I was tired and mostly coming back to 'self'. I wanted it to end and to aid the comedown. I fixated on the thought -- if I could throw up it would speed up the comedown. I tried gagging myself... the memory of 'turning it inside out' popped up and I couldn't gag. I remembered the smell of rue would insta-nauseate me so I put my nose as far into a glass of rue tea as I could. The smell turned inside out and I had zero reaction. I knew other times in life drinking a little bit of super salty salt-water would do it. I added about a tablespoon of salt to a cup of water and drank it. Again no negative reaction. At this point I decided trying anything more may be damaging so I tried to calmly wait it out. I was back to near baseline in another 3 hours. Very long trip.
The vividness and 'ability' to use thought to 'turn negative inside out' has faded like a dream... but it still feels profoundly true. It was a glimpse of what is possible and a path forward to follow -- not the finish line.
Interestingly, as more time goes by I see my trip as less harsh and more positive. This trip was at least a few months ago and I have almost no negative thoughts remaining about it even though I do recall feeling torn apart during and shortly after it. Integration I think is also a thought-choice... to find the positive or chose to relive the negative.
I am relatively certain though that on dmt or in 'Reality™' there is not anything outside of 'me/us' that can hurt on a higher spirit level. There in lies the catch-22 to the 'we are all one' thread of thinking. To believe it, the understanding of 'I' is a temporary illusion. Like deciding to view a box from a single angle. But the real 'I/Us' is the infinite perspective without polarity. 
