Too afraid

[Intueri]

rgdfgdfgdf

 

[Pandora]

You sound wise to me. Smart to listen to yourself. I often say unless you are really old or really ill, that you have plenty of time. DMT will keep if stored correctly. What's the rush? Maybe work on more thoroughly integrating the experiences you have had to date. Perhaps work on meditation and finding a very calm, centered place within yourself (this is a good place to launch from in my experience). Perhaps try to just do some work on your fear issues . . . . usually with DMT it's things like the unknown or (ego) death that troubles us, but who knows . . . . ?

Any way Intueri, knowing yourself and listening to yourself is a sign of intelligence, maturity and wisdom in my book. Far from boring. Very far indeed.

 

[hug46]

Any way Intueri, knowing yourself and listening to yourself is a sign of intelligence, maturity and wisdom in my book. Far from boring. Very far indeed.

^^^^+1^^^^^
YouRe not boring at all you just have the balls to admit to yourself that it is not for you. This could change in time or not. I sometimes feel the same way for many reasons. In the past i have moved in circles where a persons value is judged by their consumption and sometimes abuse of a substance. The most interesting people follow their hearts.

 

[Intueri]

hfghfghfh

 

[Global]

I'm confused at what point you turn away from the breakthrough? Is it while you're dosing, and you can't seem to inhale a sufficient amount properly because you're too afraid, or you're not hitting it at all cause you're too afraid, or you take your dose, but then as things start to ramp up, you try and back out, thus preventing a breakthrough?

 

[The Observer]

Stick to beer.........

 

[Intueri]

jkgjggfjfgh

 

[Pandora]

Possibly because DMT can easily disconnect us from our bodies especially at the breakthrough dose level . . . for me the logical progression is . . . no body? I must be dead.

But, I have learned some hard-won surrender techniques over time. It's kind of like, well, we've all got to go some day, so at least I went out during this gorgeous trip, I utterly let go and if there is any "me" at all left I become an observer (there's a lot to see). I also have a kind of faith that if my body is still alive, it will drag my soul/consciousness back into itself. . . . .

As mentioned, these skills/understandings were hard won and didn't come quickly. Integration periods of non-DMT use were personally very key to me. . . .

 

[○]

Enough talkin and just do it :thumb_up:

Anxiety before being completely annihilated is completely normal when it comes to the ego trying to protect itself. Just load your dose, set it down, close your eyes and focus on an in and out breath for 20 or so minutes, pick up pipe, do what you do and as things start to ramp up..just suck it up and take that extra hit.

I apologize if I sound off-putting...thats not my intention at all. I just want to give you that push to get the ball rolling. I was in your shoes once. Now after countless breakthroughs and hundreds of journeys I rarely smoke anymore...so my advice might sound counterintuitive to myself. But in the early stages, when you find yourself wanting that 'breakthrough' after having experienced lower dosages....you just gotta buck up, steady yourself, and take the plunge.

Afterwards, I guarantee that you will wonder what it was that you were ever scared about.

 

[hug46]

I am not too experienced but the death similarities are there, i had a similar atmosphere when in an induced coma. My memories/feelings are a bit hazy from this.
Perhaps it would be an idea to try small doses to begin with get a bit of a feeling for it. But its normal to be frightened or wary of this especially to start with. Also if you don"t like it, it really is no problem.

 

[The Observer]

Ever heard the Nike slogan.........

JUST DO IT!!!

OR DON'T........

I believe you need to be a courageous, impeccable warrior to have an ongoing, meaningful relationship with the molecule.......

Not for the mild mannered, meek, cowardly, or frightened.................

IMO

 

[FindRhythm]

You've gotten further than me in the journey as I am still hesitant to even pick up the pipe.

Meditate on purpose or even just repeating calming mantras to myself. "Everything is ok, I am ok, I feel good". Even just reminding yourself that you are safe and nothing bad is going to happen. Also, when meditating, ask if this is really for you or if the ego is just afraid of being destroyed.

This may or may not work for you but it has helped me focus and calm myself while preparing for my first journey (and all psychedelic experience).

If you pick up the pipe again I would recommend a calming meditation session before. It could help clear the head and allow you to breakthrough (or get some clarity to why you have resisted). Good luck and safe travels.

 

[hug46]

Not for the mild mannered, meek, cowardly, or frightened.................

IMO

well thats me fucked then!

 

[Michal_R]

Enough talkin and just do it :thumb_up:

"Doing it" is - of course - the only way to truly find out what it is like, what it is about... It depends, however, on why do you want to go There, on your motivations etc...

I truly appreciate people who do a lot of thinking before they do it. However, there is one point, inevitable one, when thinking is not enough. It is the point when one has to say:

Enough talkin...

... :thumb_up:

 

[VIII]

I thought I died the first time I had a really strong breakthrough and felt my "self" removed from me. As countless others have mentioned in trip reports, my internal dialogue was, "oh shit! I've really done it this time!" thinking there was no returning to my body. I took the advice I was given to heart and let the love flow over me until it overtook me. Post-trip (about 5min later) I was bathing in the realization that I am sooooo much more (and less?) than the "self" I thought I was and since then I have been able to surrender without much problem.

Getting to that first breakthrough experience is a journey in itself and you can never truly prepare yourself for it imo. I guess originally for me that sensation felt completely "wrong" but now it feels oh so "right" just takes a little getting used to.

 

[Sky Motion]

I have had a few experiences where I am about to be blasted through the tunnel and my ego screams absolutely not, and I prevent myself from breaking through.

It's not all about dose, there are so many factors here..but I just want to say

ITS OK TO BE AFRAID

This stuff is no joke, we all know that, I've put off my DMT use because I know I'm not ready for it now and I usually find myself scared silly when I'm about to cross over.

You're not alone, and if you're still genuinely interested in experiencing a breakthrough, you still have plenty of time.

 

[The Observer]

If you are determined to experience the incredible "reality" of hyperspace.......

You will just have to close your eyes.........and jump into the abyss!!

Good Luck!

 

[Soy sauce]

This stuff is no joke, we all know that, I've put off my DMT use because I know I'm not ready for it now and I usually find myself scared silly when I'm about to cross over.

You're not alone, and if you're still genuinely interested in experiencing a breakthrough, you still have plenty of time.

^This, sums it up perfectly. For me, at least. Sometimes, when I put.. just a liiiiittle more ontop of the bowl, just that act, and knowing, this might actually do it for me, gets my heart racing so fast. And then at that point, I'm starting to doubt myself, and if I'll be able to handle it.

That's when I just put the pipe down, and wait for another day. It's happened to me three times so far, and each time, I thought.. am I even going to be able to do this stuff anymore? Should I just cut and run before I really mess myself up?

But then, I decided to just start over again. I'm coming at this way to fast, or something. Cut the dose in half.
Let's start there.

Such.. a wonderful time. And, so different from my previous attempts. No breaking through, no where near, but.. it was a step. In which direction? That's for you to decide.
I felt all things nice, and good. There wasn't anything 'truely' scary in there. Yet..

But, once I/you get familiar with these feelings, and 'places' your head goes during the lower doses, I think it'll get you ready for the higher ones. You'll be a little more prepaired.. ya know.

Take what you can from this, and choose the path you want to go, more than anything.

 

[The Observer]

Don't get me wrong........

It IS very normal to feel some anxiety pre launch...........

You need to thank your internal dialogue for sharing...........

Then.....

Feel the fear........and do it anyway.........

Jump!!

 

[JacksonMetaller]

I understand where you're coming from. Sometimes DMT seems rather intimidating and you get the impression that you're not supposed to go further. But once you get there it's one big cosmic party. It's definitely something you don't want to miss out on, even if you only do it once in your life. But it's going to take a little effort and courage to do it right.

Breaking through isn't always the easiest thing, but if you have a friend who's willing to coach you while you smoke that's the best bet. Sometimes when you're tripping it's easy to backtrack your thoughts and before you know it you're coming down unsatisfied. Have a friend force you to keep smoking until the point where you're unable to respond to him. It'll be kind of annoying at first and you might get angry with him, but you'll be thanking him later.