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Truth please!!!Don't lie...

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maymay

maymay

Rising Star
I've been reading about this thing called DMT(articles,books,descriptions of trips,hyperspace maps...you name it)since the day I've first heard about it...one thing kept popping into my head:WHY? Why all the hype? Why are people so obsessed with it? Why? Why some people find about it and others don't? Why is it that when I ask somebody if they've ever heard of DMT, 95% say no? Why is it that some people hear about it,sounds interesting at the beginning ,read about it out of curiosity,and then they continue their lives like it never happened? Why isn't that my case also? Why is it haunting me? Why is my subconscious pushing every now and then,reminding me constantly:''You have no idea,try it,you must!'' Why am I starting to have stupid dreams of crazy shit pushed into my head,information that is so utterly unbelievable,that Sci-Fi looks like something way possible compared to this?

What makes me angry is WHY in the name of God is the information presented as something real as something ''solid'' and makes me think that OMG this is all real,this places are real? Why? Why torture me with things like this for a week now if you can't make it your reality NOW,Why bother showing me this and pushing me to try if it remains out of reach,maybe until after death maybe until the next 1000000 fucking incarnations? Why confuse me,spin me around,knock me out with this incredibly realistic life,why put me into this world of everything,of absolutely everything that you can possibly imagine,in which you can die in 1 day after birth or fight and live for 80 or die in between and in which you are given a shitload of information that you if you try to put together it confuses you even further? Why if I've made my intentions clearer than it is possible,why is it continuing to torture me?...why is it offering me a glimpse and then trows me back in this?

Why can't I be like the people I know?...be born,grow,live my life without having to think about this shit and know about it? Why not let me be? Don't show me this things don't push me to do it just let me be...let me enjoy life without having to think what if...why can other people be born and don't give a shit about others,be successful and care only for their family,but if I am i that position I constantly think about how can I help everyone what if I do this and don't do that? Why?...OMFG WHY? I am starting to be fed up with this shit it eats me from the inside...I just want to live a normal life because that is why I came here,after i die I decide what to do...but if I came here I want to live the way I want and not be manipulated with information,let me figure it out by myself...i hope that this will end and i hope that I will manage to detach myself of this things and take the blue,it is not because I can't handle truth my ego died a long time ago and it was painful but I think I(the true I) signed for something else when agreed to come here,I signed for something different and now something is changing the outcome that easy just like that?

I like the Earth just the way it is,it is perfect for souls to come and learn here...I love it for its murders,violence,racism,all bad things and I love it for the beauty,the love,the compassion all good things,I don't want it to change,Change it for the ones who want that to happen,do it on another timeline,but let me live here like this in duality because you can't learn enough,I'd prefer to be this ME than to evolve into ''something enlightened''...bad news I am already enlightened at the core of my being but we all choose these experiences and now you change it?...I want the dreams to end again and I want silence to come back and i want to be blacked out again and stupid regarding this subject,don't wake me up because I want to live this life now as it is...
 
maymay said:
I've been reading about this thing called DMT(articles,books,descriptions of trips,hyperspace maps...you name it)since the day I've first heard about it...one thing kept popping into my head:WHY? Why all the hype? Why are people so obsessed with it? Why? Why some people find about it and others don't? Why is it that when I ask somebody if they've ever heard of DMT, 95% say no? Why is it that some people hear about it,sounds interesting at the beginning ,read about it out of curiosity,and then they continue their lives like it never happened? Why isn't that my case also? Why is it haunting me? Why is my subconscious pushing every now and then,reminding me constantly:''You have no idea,try it,you must!'' Why am I starting to have stupid dreams of crazy shit pushed into my head,information that is so utterly unbelievable,that Sci-Fi looks like something way possible compared to this?

What makes me angry is WHY in the name of God is the information presented as something real as something ''solid'' and makes me think that OMG this is all real,this places are real? Why? Why torture me with things like this for a week now if you can't make it your reality NOW,Why bother showing me this and pushing me to try if it remains out of reach,maybe until after death maybe until the next 1000000 fucking incarnations? Why confuse me,spin me around,knock me out with this incredibly realistic life,why put me into this world of everything,of absolutely everything that you can possibly imagine,in which you can die in 1 day after birth or fight and live for 80 or die in between and in which you are given a shitload of information that you if you try to put together it confuses you even further? Why if I've made my intentions clearer than it is possible,why is it continuing to torture me?...why is it offering me a glimpse and then trows me back in this?

Why can't I be like the people I know?...be born,grow,live my life without having to think about this shit and know about it? Why not let me be? Don't show me this things don't push me to do it just let me be...let me enjoy life without having to think what if...why can other people be born and don't give a shit about others,be successful and care only for their family,but if I am i that position I constantly think about how can I help everyone what if I do this and don't do that? Why?...OMFG WHY? I am starting to be fed up with this shit it eats me from the inside...I just want to live a normal life because that is why I came here,after i die I decide what to do...but if I came here I want to live the way I want and not be manipulated with information,let me figure it out by myself...i hope that this will end and i hope that I will manage to detach myself of this things and take the blue,it is not because I can't handle truth my ego died a long time ago and it was painful but I think I(the true I) signed for something else when agreed to come here,I signed for something different and now something is changing the outcome that easy just like that?

I like the Earth just the way it is,it is perfect for souls to come and learn here...I love it for its murders,violence,racism,all bad things and I love it for the beauty,the love,the compassion all good things,I don't want it to change,Change it for the ones who want that to happen,do it on another timeline,but let me live here like this in duality because you can't learn enough,I'd prefer to be this ME than to evolve into ''something enlightened''...bad news I am already enlightened at the core of my being but we all choose these experiences and now you change it?...I want the dreams to end again and I want silence to come back and i want to be blacked out again and stupid regarding this subject,don't wake me up because I want to live this life now as it is...
Click to expand...

Which why do you want answered?
 
In all honesty, when I first heard about DMT, my mind went into overdrive, too. It becomes less of an obsession after a while. Give it a few weeks. Also, once you integrate this reality into the reality presented to you with psychedelics, you can go back to functioning normally in society. That takes a while too.

I also believe that once you are able and willing to comprehend such amazing new truths about the world, it is your responsibility to do something with that knowledge. You won't have any success running from it. Now you know. You always will. Welcome aboard.
 
maymay said:
I've been reading about this thing called DMT(articles,books,descriptions of trips,hyperspace maps...you name it)since the day I've first heard about it...one thing kept popping into my head:WHY? Why all the hype? Why are people so obsessed with it? Why? Why some people find about it and others don't? Why is it that when I ask somebody if they've ever heard of DMT, 95% say no? Why is it that some people hear about it,sounds interesting at the beginning ,read about it out of curiosity,and then they continue their lives like it never happened? Why isn't that my case also? Why is it haunting me? Why is my subconscious pushing every now and then,reminding me constantly:''You have no idea,try it,you must!'' Why am I starting to have stupid dreams of crazy shit pushed into my head,information that is so utterly unbelievable,that Sci-Fi looks like something way possible compared to this?

What makes me angry is WHY in the name of God is the information presented as something real as something ''solid'' and makes me think that OMG this is all real,this places are real? Why? Why torture me with things like this for a week now if you can't make it your reality NOW,Why bother showing me this and pushing me to try if it remains out of reach,maybe until after death maybe until the next 1000000 fucking incarnations? Why confuse me,spin me around,knock me out with this incredibly realistic life,why put me into this world of everything,of absolutely everything that you can possibly imagine,in which you can die in 1 day after birth or fight and live for 80 or die in between and in which you are given a shitload of information that you if you try to put together it confuses you even further? Why if I've made my intentions clearer than it is possible,why is it continuing to torture me?...why is it offering me a glimpse and then trows me back in this?

Why can't I be like the people I know?...be born,grow,live my life without having to think about this shit and know about it? Why not let me be? Don't show me this things don't push me to do it just let me be...let me enjoy life without having to think what if...why can other people be born and don't give a shit about others,be successful and care only for their family,but if I am i that position I constantly think about how can I help everyone what if I do this and don't do that? Why?...OMFG WHY? I am starting to be fed up with this shit it eats me from the inside...I just want to live a normal life because that is why I came here,after i die I decide what to do...but if I came here I want to live the way I want and not be manipulated with information,let me figure it out by myself...i hope that this will end and i hope that I will manage to detach myself of this things and take the blue,it is not because I can't handle truth my ego died a long time ago and it was painful but I think I(the true I) signed for something else when agreed to come here,I signed for something different and now something is changing the outcome that easy just like that?

I like the Earth just the way it is,it is perfect for souls to come and learn here...I love it for its murders,violence,racism,all bad things and I love it for the beauty,the love,the compassion all good things,I don't want it to change,Change it for the ones who want that to happen,do it on another timeline,but let me live here like this in duality because you can't learn enough,I'd prefer to be this ME than to evolve into ''something enlightened''...bad news I am already enlightened at the core of my being but we all choose these experiences and now you change it?...I want the dreams to end again and I want silence to come back and i want to be blacked out again and stupid regarding this subject,don't wake me up because I want to live this life now as it is...
Click to expand...
Well, you dived in this rabbit hole so have fun now. Bad news is that thinking and doubting hurts, good news is that this is a great gift it you now how to use it correctly.Even greater news, there ARE like-minded people around the globe.

There's really no easy way out of this and back to the oblivion you seek. Lobotomy would help though.
 
some people like to explore, some don't...some people take everything for granted, some don't...
you are who you are and i would be happy to be one of the curious people...don't fight it. accept it!
 
What makes me angry is WHY in the name of God is the information presented as something real as something ''solid'' and makes me think that OMG this is all real,this places are real? Why? Why torture me with things like this for a week now if you can't make it your reality NOW,Why bother showing me this and pushing me to try if it remains out of reach,maybe until after death maybe until the next 1000000 fucking incarnations? Why confuse me,spin me around,knock me out with this incredibly realistic life,why put me into this world of everything,of absolutely everything that you can possibly imagine,in which you can die in 1 day after birth or fight and live for 80 or die in between and in which you are given a shitload of information that you if you try to put together it confuses you even further? Why if I've made my intentions clearer than it is possible,why is it continuing to torture me?...why is it offering me a glimpse and then trows me back in this?
Click to expand...



Why do you feel this is something that "they/we/them" are doing to you? And why would you be "angry" about it?
Just get the shit together & extract some if you want to try it, if not WTF?

You are extremely lucky to have the internet at you disposal & most of the research already done for you!!
I read about DMT for the first time when I was 19...no internet back then (yes, we survived)...& it took me another 13 years of active researching & asking every true "head" that I met along the way, to learn about extracting from MHRB.
There was no forums to help with the info, or the head space after the first few full-on experiences that shake the foundations of what you thought you knew for so long. There were no vendors just a click away making the plants & chems needed easy to get. There were no trip reports so you could kind of have a bit of understanding of what is about to happen.

Just a few sparse tales of the pinnacle of the psychedelic experience that is was out there somewhere.
Truth be told, I'm glad I didn't learn how to extract sooner, I would not have been ready for it. I probably would have treated it as more of a party (which it is not at all!), or just not able to handle the experience mentally.

No I actually had to read, read, read for about 13 years to gain the knowledge I have gained...BTW I'm not talking about reading internet pages, I'm talking book stores & library's!!! Ever worked with the Dewey Decimal system?


So stop your bitching & start some reading!! You've got it easier then most did only 2-3 years ago!!!

cheers!
WS
 
Nicely said WS, we do have it very easy these days with sites like the Nexus and the more than helpfull members we have here.
 
I had a similar discussion with a friend of mine during our shroom trip. During the comedown I told him that I like the infinite possibilities presented to me through my trips. While he hated that because there is no definite end you can reach and stick with, he thought the whole process was meaningless; while I enjoy the journey regardless of where it leads.

This conversation culminated with a metaphor about a mountain that has no peak. Knowing that the mountain has no peak are you an idiot trying to climb it or are you a brave soul searching for more. Knowing there is no peak are you a wise man refusing to climb it or a coward fearing the unknown.

My conclusion was that even though there is no end, I might travel farther up that mountain than anyone else, seeing things noone has, and paving the way for everyone else. And the people that come after me will have an easier time reaching the heights I did thus they can travel even farther up the mountain. And that is how we progress humanity to higher heights.

While I'm still at the base of the mountain just realizing how far the ones before me have gone. I am in awe of the work they, the members of this community, have done. And thanks to the culmination of all their work my climb to those heights will be a bit easier after which comes the exploration of the unknown.

Hope this helps you even a little, because I know I spent a lot of time obsessing over this topic.
 
I'm cutting into class time because I want to reply. I think your post is beautiful. It puts into words how I've felt my entire life, about my life.
DMT was a leap ahead there's no doubt; it goes much deeper than this in my honest opinion.

I think these last few years I've been putting ideas together and getting a better grasp of reality itself. Think back to science class when you first learned about the planets in the solar system. I was fascinated by it all but I never understood the massive scale that the universe operates at and I probably still don't. But now, I look up at the sky and I see the sun. It's the same sun as it was 10 years ago, but it's changed in my eyes. No longer is it an unreachable mysterious object in the sky. Now I can envision myself floating around the earths atmosphere and place myself in terms of the solar system. We are a tiny dot compared with the sun yes I see it and feel closer to it somehow.

I think of what we are, how we came to be, and what it all means. The only conclusion I can ever come up with is, there is still a single mystery out there. I think of all the other species that inhabit the universe and wonder if they feel like me. Do they also question existence and how it came about? Are they thinking about us as they gaze up at the stars in wonder? I would think they do.

Lately I've been having this nagging question or feeling that I can't put to words. I try to think of how and why the universe even exists at all. I understand our theories of life, the big bang, among other related things but nothing seems to really answer the question. It can drive you mad if you let it, trying to figure out the reason for it all.

It based on these things that I decided to devote my life to the stars and everything related. After I graduate and land a safe job I plan to study in college / university. I will not marry, I will not father children, and I will work simply to make money and pay for my studies. I will learn for myself and no other reason. If the opportunity arises, I will get a job in different field than what I'm in now. I will do everything within my power to advance my understanding and hopefully, in the long run, everyone elses' as well.

---

I may not have answered any "why" you asked but this is how I'm dealing with it. I'm no longer ignoring the call...The wonder. Instead I'm embarrassing it and letting nothing get in my way. You do what you need to do, but I beg you...Don't ignore it! Don't become silent and play along with the ways of society. You will be unhappy and depressed. You will say "hello" and "I love you" with the same monotony of a judge convicting a free thinker. We need more people like you!
 
Why is my subconscious pushing every now and then,reminding me constantly:''You have no idea,try it,you must!''
Click to expand...

This is what some people refer to "the call of the shaman". It is felt to be a burden and I can totally understand your doubts and your inner conflict. But this has nothing to do with society and a normal life ....and at the same time...there couldn't be something more vital than the psychedelic experience, there couldn't be something more healing and "normal" than to feel the energy of the lifestream in your veins. I've read for 7 years before I felt ready to make small steps into this shimmering world. I still consider myself a beginner after quite some experiences...there is so much left to learn and to explore.

Your post excited me because it sounds like you're starting to awake, just like I do, like most here do. We're awakening to a new world, t a new social context...to a subtile but very definite feeling of oness wwitrh the world, layer upon layer we dive deeper into our souls than we could ever imagine before. We experience what we feel is true and deeply bond to the ineffable mysterys of human existence.

I welcome you!
 
Some of you didn't quite get it...I pretty much had my revelation...not during a DMT trip but you could consider it related to DMT because it came a few weeks ago during a dream...I also posted the day after it happened,it was like rebirth...so why push me for the trip,why is it telling me I am ready? it's the same f'in dream for a week now...is it possible that it wants to show me something that can't be shown in a dream? is the dream to weak to encompass what it needs to show me?...is it that urgent?the only reason I am angry the insistence...what's up with this insistence?

WSaged don't get me wrong I am more than thankful for the freedom that I have,for the amount of information that I have at my disposal...the only thing that is bothering me is this insistence with this dream to try it soon...
 
Dreaming doesn't quite bring you there. Definitely go all the way. Maybe that's the release that you need to finally put it all together and calm down.
 
layer upon layer we dive deeper into our souls than we could ever imagine before. We experience what we feel is true and deeply bond to the ineffable mysterys of human existence.
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Brilliant way to say it!

It can mean goodbye to old personal worldviews. It's usually an expansion: the world becomes bigger than you could imagine before. Sounds like growing up.

Just don't use DMT if you absolutely want to stay attached to the known or imaginable. That not some romanticized heroic image
If you truly want to experience the totally UNimaginable firsthand, go for it. That not some romanticized heroic image but just a simple question a user should consider deeply before every launch: do I really, really want this now?
Oh and if in doubt, over time the nagging curiosity will become too great anyway ;)

EDIT: posts crossed - Ah, it's literally dreaming, I thought you meant to make the content in the post hypothetical. Makes it all the more interesting! Seems like you have a date.
 
maymay said:
Some of you didn't quite get it...I pretty much had my revelation...not during a DMT trip but you could consider it related to DMT because it came a few weeks ago during a dream...I also posted the day after it happened,it was like rebirth...so why push me for the trip,why is it telling me I am ready? it's the same f'in dream for a week now...is it possible that it wants to show me something that can't be shown in a dream? is the dream to weak to encompass what it needs to show me?...is it that urgent?the only reason I am angry the insistence...what's up with this insistence?

WSaged don't get me wrong I am more than thankful for the freedom that I have,for the amount of information that I have at my disposal...the only thing that is bothering me is this insistence with this dream to try it soon...
Click to expand...


I say just ignore it.
Go have some coffee
 
Slow your roll, soldier. You think your dream and percieved call to the molecule is fucking with your world view? You best be certain this is what you want before actually jumping in. I mean, come on - you're having a hard time now just integrating your desire to try it?!?!? Wait until you're actually faced with getting your head around where you've been.

Not to cast doubt on your quest or anything, but I vote for coffee as well. You can't possibly imagine what it's like - revelation or no - and if you think you're not comfortable with an in your face challenge to all that you know to be true, then I'm telling you you're in for an ass kicking and coffee's a better bet.

If you're sure you really want to know, take ten minutes and find out for yourself. But the only answer I've found in there is that THERE ARE NO ANSWERS.
 
When one is hungry, one eats, rather than remain hungry. When one eats, one eats according to taste, resources, and the sort of nourishment felt or determined as necessary for subsistence or, in some cases, to grow. Sometimes we're not accustomed to certain foods and must taste and research them to determine whether they may be desirable for our diet, and sometimes we're not always the best judge of that due to our lack of familiarity with the sort of food and must acquire a taste for it.

Many times, a portion of our diet contains bioactive or psychoactive components or sometimes is comprised purely of a psychoactive or bioactive substance. Sometimes such substances are consumed unwittingly, other times they are consumed for purposes of healing, comfort, or physiological augmentation, much like dietary supplements. Physiological augmentation can also include neurological augmentation, as the eyes may be augmented with lenses to improve clarity of vision, so too may the mind be augmented with molecules in order to shift perception or sharpen the senses, thought processes, or whatever other facet of cognition such substances may tune or recalibrate for a time.

Certain substances are necessary in a diet to fend off illness, others are necessary for the body to function normally, still others are necessary only in accordance with unique physiology and lifestyle. Ultimately, we determine the manner of our own diet, but if one wants, for example, to become a strong athlete, it's not going to happen on a steady diet of junk food.
 
tryptographer said:
It can mean goodbye to old personal worldviews. It's usually an expansion: the world becomes bigger than you could imagine before. Sounds like growing up.
Click to expand...

I think this is the answer to your why.

You could try to tell your dream that you might try dmt later in life. And explain there is no need to hurry.
That could settle the issue.

See what happens. As we say in The Netherlands: 'sleep a few nights over it'

I wish you sweet dreams
 
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