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Void's Paranoia and Neuroses Thread

Voidmatrix said:
I think I'll get some testing kits for the 2c-b and mescaline to take a step to assuage my worry and move me closer to new experiences.
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2C-B is pretty nice. And mescaline can be great, of course. They're different from tryptamines in that the effect on your mind will probably be less, but they have their own unique twist to offer. They're more body-oriented in my experience.

A few others to consider if you're looking for novel, new experiences:

4-HO-MiPT
4-HO-MET
4-AcO-DMT
 
Here&Now2 said:
2C-B is pretty nice. And mescaline can be great, of course. They're different from tryptamines in that the effect on your mind will probably be less, but they have their own unique twist to offer. They're more body-oriented in my experience.

A few others to consider if you're looking for novel, new experiences:

4-HO-MiPT
4-HO-MET
4-AcO-DMT
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I've done 2c-b once after some MDA and MDMA. Wondeful, weird, time.
I've only done microdoses of cacti and one mild peyote ceremony. But it's time for more.

Ima see if I can some how cross paths with some of these others. I am curious. I also need to get over my worry.

One love
 
Voidmatrix said:
Ima see if I can some how cross paths with some of these others. I am curious. I also need to get over my worry.
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Here's a small hint on where to find them that hopefully doesn't break the rules.

Gerald-G-Canada-Flag-Flying.png
 
Voidmatrix said:
While my main squeeze has been changa for quite some time and I don't see that changing, ya boy really needs to venture out more.

Oh the self-deprivation, pernicious specter of my past, let me receive and give myself what I want, dammit.

Oh, sorry, back to topic at hand.

I have so many goodies: 2c-b synthetic mescaline, some mushroom goo, lots of mushrooms, some MDMA, among other things, but it just sits there.

So deep and lost in the trenches of my mental health I'm too worried to do them. Granted, I want to do them alone, especially some of the first time ones, but it would be easier with a trusted compatriot.

It would probably be a good idea though. I mean... drugs!

Ha, I don't mean it like that. I do hold a sacred esteem for these mental algorithm tuners.

Like, damn, take some risk. Stop worrying about too much and all this other nonsense. I don't tend to be escapism! Trust! Self trust! That's what we're dancing around.

I think I'll get some testing kits for the 2c-b and mescaline to take a step to assuage my worry and move me closer to new experiences.

One love
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Hopefully when you feel comfortable enough at a secure emotional level....it will be an organic decision to experiment. I made the decision if I think twice ill just wait. Trusted companion would be amazing. Maybe we should make a trip partner app like tinder. 🤣
 
premeditated said:
Hopefully when you feel comfortable enough at a secure emotional level....it will be an organic decision to experiment. I made the decision if I think twice ill just wait. Trusted companion would be amazing. Maybe we should make a trip partner app like tinder. 🤣
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The decision is shifting and the tide is turning as we speak.

🤗

One love
 
Break from what, he asks. This guy's got jokes. Lol.

Part of me retelling my own story to myself involves letting go of much of the past which is contrary to my conditioning brought about by my upbringing. My dad would stay mad about certain things for so long that I had to keep a record over time and then I do the same to myself because that's what I'm accustomed to.

One love
 
Voidmatrix said:
My dad would stay mad about certain things for so long that I had to keep a record over time and then I do the same to myself because that's what I'm accustomed to.
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My Soviet drunkard dad sat me at a table when I was ten and drilled me for hours about what a b**ch my mom was. She was abroad earning money back then. He ended his monologue by saying that I was a kind guy and listened well (once again, I was ten, and it was our first prolonged time together) 🤦‍♂️

I've struggled with it all for many years. However, my father is not me; his genes are just part of my body, and it was given to me due to karma. My final decision was to accept it all and start where I found myself. I can't change many aspects of my body or psyche, but why even change them? The whole journey is to go beyond it all. It's just a tool for consciousness to develop and grow. I'm just grateful for my dad and all the resistance I met in this life. It all led me here to where I am now.

Sure, I'm dissatisfied even with the life I have, but it's kind of a human condition. We're all seeking something we know nothing about. What I'm trying to say is, you are you. If you see your patterns, then you're past them already. All that's left is their momentum that will die out just through the force of your attention.

Live your life, make your mistakes, swear and curse, and then share and love. Be human to the bone. Be more human than any human you've ever met. And then someday the truth will reveal itself. I'm all for organic maturation and development. This place is a nursery, and divinity is everywhere if you look.

🙏
 
northape said:
My Soviet drunkard dad sat me at a table when I was ten and drilled me for hours about what a b**ch my mom was. She was abroad earning money back then. He ended his monologue by saying that I was a kind guy and listened well (once again, I was ten, and it was our first prolonged time together) 🤦‍♂️

I've struggled with it all for many years. However, my father is not me; his genes are just part of my body, and it was given to me due to karma. My final decision was to accept it all and start where I found myself. I can't change many aspects of my body or psyche, but why even change them? The whole journey is to go beyond it all. It's just a tool for consciousness to develop and grow. I'm just grateful for my dad and all the resistance I met in this life. It all led me here to where I am now.

Sure, I'm dissatisfied even with the life I have, but it's kind of a human condition. We're all seeking something we know nothing about. What I'm trying to say is, you are you. If you see your patterns, then you're past them already. All that's left is their momentum that will die out just through the force of your attention.

Live your life, make your mistakes, swear and curse, and then share and love. Be human to the bone. Be more human than any human you've ever met. And then someday the truth will reveal itself. I'm all for organic maturation and development. This place is a nursery, and divinity is everywhere if you look.

🙏
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I could go on and on about my dad, and no I'm not him, but I do have to actively grow out of his influence and effects. And I'm not advocating for changing anything about my past, but working to continue to accept it and understand it by bringing further awareness to it.

One love
 
There are countless ways to deal with situations like this.
The real question is: which approach works best for a specific issue?
You won’t know until you try.
But I want to agree with the previous speakers that simply becoming aware of a certain topic already means more than half the work is done.

There are patterns you don’t have to, don’t need to, or even shouldn’t resolve.
Some are just mildly annoying, others are obstructive.
Some can even be a source of strength.
But if that pattern is your only source of strength, it becomes problematic to dissolve it entirely.
I can’t speak for you, I don’t know you, I can only speak for myself and share my own experiences with my being and consciousness.

I’ve tried many things: fighting my shadow, befriending it.
Sometimes it breaks through, and that’s not really a problem for me.
Still, I need to find a new source of strength that fits my moral framework, while also working through my shadow.
That’s because my shadow doesn’t only bother me, it can also affect others.
So I isolate myself before I harm anyone, because that would go against my moral principles.

People think I’m weak, but I know exactly how physical and psychological breakdowns work, I just don’t allow myself to cross my own boundaries.
And that’s the real issue: in this society, "weak" people are treated differently, unfairly.
And when I finally do cross the limits I’ve set for myself, it’s already too much to bear.

Personally, therapy helps me.
But psychedelics can also expand consciousness and make such patterns visible.

Anyway, enough about me, I just wrote this down in case it might help you or someone else.
 
LuxObscura said:
There are countless ways to deal with situations like this.
The real question is: which approach works best for a specific issue?
You won’t know until you try.
But I want to agree with the previous speakers that simply becoming aware of a certain topic already means more than half the work is done.

There are patterns you don’t have to, don’t need to, or even shouldn’t resolve.
Some are just mildly annoying, others are obstructive.
Some can even be a source of strength.
But if that pattern is your only source of strength, it becomes problematic to dissolve it entirely.
I can’t speak for you, I don’t know you, I can only speak for myself and share my own experiences with my being and consciousness.

I’ve tried many things: fighting my shadow, befriending it.
Sometimes it breaks through, and that’s not really a problem for me.
Still, I need to find a new source of strength that fits my moral framework, while also working through my shadow.
That’s because my shadow doesn’t only bother me, it can also affect others.
So I isolate myself before I harm anyone, because that would go against my moral principles.

People think I’m weak, but I know exactly how physical and psychological breakdowns work, I just don’t allow myself to cross my own boundaries.
And that’s the real issue: in this society, "weak" people are treated differently, unfairly.
And when I finally do cross the limits I’ve set for myself, it’s already too much to bear.

Personally, therapy helps me.
But psychedelics can also expand consciousness and make such patterns visible.

Anyway, enough about me, I just wrote this down in case it might help you or someone else.
Click to expand...
Thank you so much for sharing. While this thread is for people to laugh, a hidden purpose is to help each other heal. I thank you for contributing to that.

One love
 
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