Waited a week to share this experience

[DMTrismegistus]

I’ve waited to share this experience because I have thought about it frequently since it happened trying to surmise some meaning or understanding.

For the first time I was able to have the experience in the comfort of my living room. I set up a good environment to feel comfortable and safe in. I also measured out the amount for the first time. Loaded 27 mg into the machine, took about two or three breaths, great experience. Visuals so beautiful and thoughts cascading, something felt like it was a light show just for me. It was so beautiful I literally shed a tear and thanked it for the experience.

This is where things changed. I was using one batch the first time, great experience.
Without putting much thought into it I grabbed a DIFFERENT batch, loaded 31 mg, and melted it into the mesh of the machine so it’s ready.

I prepared my mind. Took many deep breaths. Finally I began heating machine, vapor arises, I inhale deeply, instantly something felt off.

The visuals came on strong, heavy body load, but everything was a radically different texture than what I had experienced just 20 or 30 minutes before. I remember audibly saying, “it’s not like this” or “it shouldn’t be like this” because I was recognizing the nervousness and fear well up as the visuals and textures being shown to me were abnormal and jarring.

I can’t recall the entire experience and what I saw or thought or felt, but I can’t remember the needing to cope with it shortly after, there was a certain feeling of despair. For some reason I have some lingering afterthought of “what if I saw real reality and it was not good.”

It was the first time anything unenjoyable happened. I feel like part of it was my own mind, feels almost like a party of my mind was messing with me, almost like intrusive thoughts. Honestly I just remember being scared and thinking I should grab help, and self soothing myself in my head and coaching myself through it.

After the experience I’ve read more about being hyper slapped, DMT lockout, and a host of other things. I feel like I brought 50% of the table and it showed me 50%. I don’t really know what to take from this experience

 

[windyshaman]

Few points:
1) I'm not at the point where I'd be able to do my own extractions yet, [Redacted by mod: No Sourcing Talk] there's some variation batch to batch. Something odd I've noticed - every time I start a new batch - it feels weird. As if my body needs to adapt. For instance -[Redacted by Mod] freebase for the last few ceremonies and the first dose was waaaaaay off in all aspects. It felt artificial, visuals were wacky, jerky comedown... Quite disappointing really - given that I can only trip every so often. But, I decided to give it another shot on the following ceremony - and it felt no different than the product I'm more used to.

2) Here's what I've been experiencing with re-dosing so far:
- you either need to do it while you're still high (been experimenting with 2 loaded vaporizers lately)
- or do it a few hours later - until I started dancing with 2 vaporizers - my most amazing trips were always the follow ups on the same day at 4-6 hours after the first one. Lower dosages seem to be having a much stronger effect at this point.

I haven't had a singe good "dive-back-in" trip when you allow yourself to comedown enough to be able to reload and go for another round right away. And I had quite a few attempts at this. Sometimes OEV-s and overall feeling are some amazing - you just want to keep going... Regretted every single time - the whole experience just goes sour and leaves a rancid aftertaste.

 

[Voidmatrix]

DMT has a lot of sides and facets, and not all of them are what one may call pleasant. It's not all sunshine and rainbows in hyperspace. Your experience isn't anything out of the ordinary, which is good, because you can normalize this experience instead of it dissuading you from engaging with and exploring this molecule further. There does seem to be a bit of a curve where things aren't as "fun" as they were at the start, and many people end up bailing after the honeymoon period subsides.

It seems to help to really acknowledge the previous experience in some way before reloading and disembarking again. This isn't the first time I have heard about this. I sometimes think of it like getting a glimpse of a spinning coin in the air. The first experience is one side of the coin, and the second sounds like the other, though it could've landed the same as before.

Another thing to note, for some of us, redosing closely to the first dose makes the redose seem exponentially stronger, even if the dose is the same as the first. This happens to me. I don't know why, but this could be part of the issue as well is an increase in the volume of the effect when you do redose.

Hope this helps.

One love

 

[TransistorBass]

I doubt I go as deep as many on here but if i see something a bit scary now I laugh at it, if its menacing faces or a massive scary snake with loads of sharp teeth... have a chuckle, I'm sure it makes it feel more like acceptance and allows you to move forward with it.

The other thing I've noticed is a clean pipe = a clean mind, dregs left from a week before seem to change the vibe to be more foreboding for me. I don't know if this is a thing with Emesh, I don't seem to get it from my Vape Juice even after a break in sessions of a week or two, just the first toke can taste a bit plasticy.

 

[brettsta]

I've been having similar , for the last six months my eyes closed experience has been muted ? ,
but I can still breakthrough with eyes open but it's different, it's more like waves of energy
or consciousness enveloping experience .
Tried making a fresh batch twice with different mimosa but still the same ? Even at massive dose .
Don't get me wrong i'm enjoying what it's giving me its just as amazing, but i hope it flips back to eyes closed soon I'm missing that Crazy world .

 

[universecannon]

Sometimes there is something to learn, but I personally don't worry too much about these kinds of experiences. Our left brain/ego usually resists and warps the experience in any number of bizarre ways, especially if fear begins to take hold. It helps to have an effective technique to steer the experience back into smoother waters, such as throat singing, chanting, a singing bowl, or simply music+movement. Sometimes forcing a smile is enough to shift things, given the massive amount of neural connections with face muscles.

Regarding the 2 batches, while fresh DMT does seem more resonant to me it's completely normal to have very different experiences within the same batch