!Xabbu
Rising Star
WARNING THE DOSAGE USED WAS IN NO WAY SAFE, THERE HAVE BEEN DEATHS REPORTED ON THESE DOSAGES ESPECIALLY WITH THIS ROA
Dear Nexians,
I did a high dose Trip on the 5-MeO-aMT. While it wasn't in any way a nice experience, it was valuable for me, as I will try to explain in this report.
Dose: T:0 - 25mg (nasal) T:+4 hours - 10mg (nasal)
Comeup: 30 mins
Peak: 1.5/1 hours T:+1-2.5 hours, T+:4-5 hours
Plateau: T:+ 5h-15h
Duration: 18 hours
Aftereffects: 24 hours
I have used this substance and it's little brother the aMT around 5 times before and in different dosages as well as combinations. ROA were oral as well as nasal.
First I would like to describe the mindset I found myself in prior to the trip:
Being in a phase where there is need for self definition, I have already found most of the answers I was searching for. I understood where I'm coming from and where I want to go. I understood that the truth hurts and deep in my heart all I was searching for was right in front of me but I was so alienated of it that I rejected any offer of it. I could understand all my "paradox" behavior in the past which didn't make sense for a long time but was burried deep down and filed under past regrettable but not understood behavior which made me feel like having a dark passenger and being flawed. I understood other painful things like how much I took in contrast to what I gave, how little happiness I was able to provide to others, .....
I understood that I always tried to pin guilt to the external world (society, people) which made me kind of always fall back to spin in circles like a mechanism which makes the thrown ball first tick in corners and finally spin in circles.
I never was a big reader but the artists/people/nexians I encountered in the past months/the last year which I would describe as concious gave me a few concepts/experiences/words at hand which made it possible for me to clear up my mind and sort it.
Now the Trip:
The powder didn't burn as bad as 2C-E. There was an intense nausea following at the half our mark at which I brewed a ginger tea out of some fresh ginger and the nausea subsided after an hour. I managed to not puke somehow but was pretty close to. When I was first in the bath at the T+30min mark, I already was tripping. Feeling a bit cold and stimulated, seing little bits and pieces here and there which looked like dots in not too complex geometric patterns coloured green and red. There was an intense euphoria in the first two hours which made me feel good and open minded. Connecting to people on the chat seemed possible, empathy was enhanced. After about 2 hours (T:+2h), the euphoria was gone and I wasn't feeling like I'm on top of my "game" anymore. A little confused but just like being stoned I would say. The telephone rang. My mom told me some bad news, she needs a heart operation. I cried and told her that we would get through this and that I will start researching this ASAP as this seemed to be the only thing I could do atm. Well I will visit her over the christmas hollidays. I started researching and started a new journal. Felt pretty over the trip at that moment but wasn't able to fully concentrate on the subject as it is pretty much stuff to get into but I managed to get an overview on what was going on and watched a video on heart valve transplantation/change which I would describe as RAW. I knew I should get clean and stop tripping to be there. I tried to contact my friend who was busy explaining his knowledge about aviation to a friend and another one who I awaited a call from from the phase where I still was euphoric.
At that point I snorted another 10mg in hope for the euphoria to come back. I felt pretty bad about it as I knew it wouldn't help anyone at the moment. That one kicked in immediately with some more visuals but not more depth, I would say it exponentiated the stimulation to an unpleasant level where I was moving my leg all the time. Other than that I didn't notice how heavy I was stimulated.
Then my friend called, we wanted to meet at the weekend and needed to plan the visit. But I wasn't empathic anymore, I was fast talking about everything that came in my mind, which wasn't my mom as He and I are not that much connected anymore. Hours later I remembered how I talked to him. I recalled it as Manic/tendentially psychotic which scared me deeply as I don't want to enter the waters of amphetamine psychosis ever again.
But that state of mind subsided while I was still left with intense stimulation and bad vibes. I wasn't paranoid but feeling cold, empty and guilty of having done something I didn't want to, loosing control.
I started to listen to some Hip-Hop/Rap music which brought me back on track. I wasn't euphoric but I found a perspective again. While I wasn't sure what was going on atm I liked the deep concious lyrics of fellas like akala, dilated peoples, Rakim, ....
The thing that was acompanied by the dysphoria I felt was the detachement of my actual reality. It wasn't the nice warm detachement like on a dmt yourney or like the weirdness of a mushroom trip. There was no warm blanket, I could see myself through eyes that were stonecold and was ripped of feeling good about anything which was eye opening. The lyrics made me remember which my intentions have been in the past months/trips/living and I realized that i was always in a phase I know too good from myself talking and not doing anything. I realized that I myself have to take actions and nothing that has happened to me in the past justifies me not acting on my beliefes. I saw the past months which actually brought me the closest to myself I ever was (besides being a child) but still stumbling and spiraling, excusing not to act or to live as an inability to live properly. I realized that not your words define who you are but your actions are and was stuck in this paralyzis for good 12 hours on..
Sleepless needing to change I tried to relax with some nice Intervies of good people. That gave me some warmth as I would describe the state of mind I found myself in as my own personal hell. It was the coldest I ever felt and the hallucinations seemed to be branded into my eyelenses. When I closed my eyes, there was wobbling but darkness.
I needed to watch people on youtube as I couldn't stand silence or myself. I finally managed to get some sleep. I woke up after about 5 hours when my roommate returned from her home. We had a nice talk and I was able to concentrate again. My eyes were red and she wondered what was going on while it seemed she was partly open so I told her some stuff..
But the most important part of the whole trip is, I actually do things since then. I get up early and don't want to even be awake at night as it is so empty. I cleaned my place, made breakfast for us, called my friends, applied for voluntary work in the city and am in the process of understanding even more what I need to do to get where I want to be, start moving towards people. Be a warm person in order to receive warmth. It works, I even met a neighbor yesterday and was open to talk so we are going to a students party on the weekend. I need people and to feel this coldness made me realize that it basically is the same but more naked than what I do to myself when I stick to talking and sitting on the PC for days with leaving the place just for shopping and waiting for others to show me some love
Basically sitting in hell for nearly 24 hours made me realize that my life wasn't that much different but on CHOICE.
EDIT:
Does the safety profile show up for anyone on top of the report ? For me the field is blank. Did do the safety profile though.
Dear Nexians,
I did a high dose Trip on the 5-MeO-aMT. While it wasn't in any way a nice experience, it was valuable for me, as I will try to explain in this report.
Dose: T:0 - 25mg (nasal) T:+4 hours - 10mg (nasal)
Comeup: 30 mins
Peak: 1.5/1 hours T:+1-2.5 hours, T+:4-5 hours
Plateau: T:+ 5h-15h
Duration: 18 hours
Aftereffects: 24 hours
I have used this substance and it's little brother the aMT around 5 times before and in different dosages as well as combinations. ROA were oral as well as nasal.
First I would like to describe the mindset I found myself in prior to the trip:
Being in a phase where there is need for self definition, I have already found most of the answers I was searching for. I understood where I'm coming from and where I want to go. I understood that the truth hurts and deep in my heart all I was searching for was right in front of me but I was so alienated of it that I rejected any offer of it. I could understand all my "paradox" behavior in the past which didn't make sense for a long time but was burried deep down and filed under past regrettable but not understood behavior which made me feel like having a dark passenger and being flawed. I understood other painful things like how much I took in contrast to what I gave, how little happiness I was able to provide to others, .....
I understood that I always tried to pin guilt to the external world (society, people) which made me kind of always fall back to spin in circles like a mechanism which makes the thrown ball first tick in corners and finally spin in circles.
I never was a big reader but the artists/people/nexians I encountered in the past months/the last year which I would describe as concious gave me a few concepts/experiences/words at hand which made it possible for me to clear up my mind and sort it.
Now the Trip:
The powder didn't burn as bad as 2C-E. There was an intense nausea following at the half our mark at which I brewed a ginger tea out of some fresh ginger and the nausea subsided after an hour. I managed to not puke somehow but was pretty close to. When I was first in the bath at the T+30min mark, I already was tripping. Feeling a bit cold and stimulated, seing little bits and pieces here and there which looked like dots in not too complex geometric patterns coloured green and red. There was an intense euphoria in the first two hours which made me feel good and open minded. Connecting to people on the chat seemed possible, empathy was enhanced. After about 2 hours (T:+2h), the euphoria was gone and I wasn't feeling like I'm on top of my "game" anymore. A little confused but just like being stoned I would say. The telephone rang. My mom told me some bad news, she needs a heart operation. I cried and told her that we would get through this and that I will start researching this ASAP as this seemed to be the only thing I could do atm. Well I will visit her over the christmas hollidays. I started researching and started a new journal. Felt pretty over the trip at that moment but wasn't able to fully concentrate on the subject as it is pretty much stuff to get into but I managed to get an overview on what was going on and watched a video on heart valve transplantation/change which I would describe as RAW. I knew I should get clean and stop tripping to be there. I tried to contact my friend who was busy explaining his knowledge about aviation to a friend and another one who I awaited a call from from the phase where I still was euphoric.
At that point I snorted another 10mg in hope for the euphoria to come back. I felt pretty bad about it as I knew it wouldn't help anyone at the moment. That one kicked in immediately with some more visuals but not more depth, I would say it exponentiated the stimulation to an unpleasant level where I was moving my leg all the time. Other than that I didn't notice how heavy I was stimulated.
Then my friend called, we wanted to meet at the weekend and needed to plan the visit. But I wasn't empathic anymore, I was fast talking about everything that came in my mind, which wasn't my mom as He and I are not that much connected anymore. Hours later I remembered how I talked to him. I recalled it as Manic/tendentially psychotic which scared me deeply as I don't want to enter the waters of amphetamine psychosis ever again.
But that state of mind subsided while I was still left with intense stimulation and bad vibes. I wasn't paranoid but feeling cold, empty and guilty of having done something I didn't want to, loosing control.
I started to listen to some Hip-Hop/Rap music which brought me back on track. I wasn't euphoric but I found a perspective again. While I wasn't sure what was going on atm I liked the deep concious lyrics of fellas like akala, dilated peoples, Rakim, ....
The thing that was acompanied by the dysphoria I felt was the detachement of my actual reality. It wasn't the nice warm detachement like on a dmt yourney or like the weirdness of a mushroom trip. There was no warm blanket, I could see myself through eyes that were stonecold and was ripped of feeling good about anything which was eye opening. The lyrics made me remember which my intentions have been in the past months/trips/living and I realized that i was always in a phase I know too good from myself talking and not doing anything. I realized that I myself have to take actions and nothing that has happened to me in the past justifies me not acting on my beliefes. I saw the past months which actually brought me the closest to myself I ever was (besides being a child) but still stumbling and spiraling, excusing not to act or to live as an inability to live properly. I realized that not your words define who you are but your actions are and was stuck in this paralyzis for good 12 hours on..
Sleepless needing to change I tried to relax with some nice Intervies of good people. That gave me some warmth as I would describe the state of mind I found myself in as my own personal hell. It was the coldest I ever felt and the hallucinations seemed to be branded into my eyelenses. When I closed my eyes, there was wobbling but darkness.
I needed to watch people on youtube as I couldn't stand silence or myself. I finally managed to get some sleep. I woke up after about 5 hours when my roommate returned from her home. We had a nice talk and I was able to concentrate again. My eyes were red and she wondered what was going on while it seemed she was partly open so I told her some stuff..
But the most important part of the whole trip is, I actually do things since then. I get up early and don't want to even be awake at night as it is so empty. I cleaned my place, made breakfast for us, called my friends, applied for voluntary work in the city and am in the process of understanding even more what I need to do to get where I want to be, start moving towards people. Be a warm person in order to receive warmth. It works, I even met a neighbor yesterday and was open to talk so we are going to a students party on the weekend. I need people and to feel this coldness made me realize that it basically is the same but more naked than what I do to myself when I stick to talking and sitting on the PC for days with leaving the place just for shopping and waiting for others to show me some love
Basically sitting in hell for nearly 24 hours made me realize that my life wasn't that much different but on CHOICE.
EDIT:
Does the safety profile show up for anyone on top of the report ? For me the field is blank. Did do the safety profile though.
