What DMT Gives You DMT Takes It Away

[Desterrado]

DeMeTrio found me somewhere around a year ago Ive never had any psychedelic experience before that, (just cannabis) my reason why Im here is to try to find some answers to what happened to me, something like;
if dmt was causant then dmt will be the solver.

So far Ive been a silent tourist in all the treads you kindly post, and everytime I see some experience that ressembled my own a smile prompts my face, and this site has been the reason while a I think everything can go back to normal if normal is they way I used to live life.

I had life changing dmt experiences wich totally shook up every belive I had, and it change me in ways that I couldnt possibly thought it could, to list a few:
Solve several family issues
Work improvements
Wife relationship progress
Father improvement
and so on.
Almost every aspect of my life improved in an espectacular way, I was learning day to day in every single action I made. I told my family what I did and they were confused if it was a beneficial change or not until they started to see everything that I could accomplish.

Everything started to feel like if iwas in a movie and I was the main actor, I took my movie the way I wanted to go and most of the things I was experiencing it felt it like a dejavou of some kind.

I stooped thinking in how to do things, I led myself go and I came across this beautiful sincronicity and everytime I saw it happening a smiled and said "perfect timing"

I was a leader and I people started to follow me, cause they liked being around.

Had a thousand proyect and all of them I knew they were achiveable because I had the information coming at me from the primary source.

At some point I was so shocked on how much can a plant extract improve someones life, and I started to treat it as a sacrament.

I felt no cold, no lazyness. (I used to say lazyness doesnt exist its just ones not wanting to do the work)

I sleept less,I woke up by myself at the exact time to go to work, no need for the alarm clock.

I felt something in my chest almost all the time and it was powerful I dont know how to describe it but you just feel you are not the same one, you feel way better, cappable of doing everything. Everything was absolutly wonderfull.

UNTIL THE LAST TIME I DID DMT

It wasnt so much as the trip it wasnt a bad one (no scary at all, like some other that I had) because what I recall it wasnt an ego death nor blastoff, it felt just physically in my eyes like rapid movement, like they were working in the eyes area.
nothing happened that day, but the next day, EVERYTHING that I build started to fade, the relationships with newfriends that I made started to feel way diferent, they came to me and ask me about things they were doing to improve their lifes or something
and I wasnt caring any lees,.

I used to feel not think that I had to pick up all the garbage that came in a nearby river and people came along because I enjoyed it doing it so they came, well that stopped to feel good doing, I was doing it like if I had to, not really convinced.

I was so immensinly confused, like they changed me back and I was convinced that it happened while I was sleeping it all goes down while you're asleep.

Everything I had my mind in to, started to vanish, one bussines that I opened up, I didnt know how to ran it they way I used to, people started to leave because my vibe wasnt the same one, I felt totally a DIFERENT person from the one that DMT molde up.

I was Adan and I was Exiled to earth.

I was back and I wasnt liking it.

So something pop in to my mind to go back as I used to be (I prefered not to talk about what I did) but I FAILED.

Everything started to go downhill from that day.
I was scare to do anything I thought that I shouldnt be in this dimension, I felt the shift, and felt how I was in place that I shouldnt be soround it by things they werent my own, they belong to the person that died in that last dmt trip.
I felt that I was going to lost everything I had as a punishment for trying to change the way things are.

I was trying to do the things that Dmt taught me, but I knew them in my brain I wasnt feeling them, so that cause me a lot of work, to do things you dont feel good doing them.

Eventually I quit and became so deep depressed for the life that I was shown and that I had lost.

Right now I'm in the process to trying to understand why did it happen that way.


Why they gave me something so beautiful and then take it away?
Was I not worthy?
Should I stopped to think about DMT and move on?
Can I go back?

I BECAME AN EXILED

 

[OneStepBeyond]

Maybe don't be so quick to assure yourself that things are all going downhill now. It may be turning into a sort of self fulfilling prophecy. Your mind is a powerful instrument and can be completely willing and capable of subconsciously sabotaging things for yourself.

 

[Quetzal7]

Interesting story, thank you so much for sharing !

Maybe you thought the "benefits" where "given" to you, offered freely by somekind of DMT magic or entites... Maybe you took them for granted. So, maybe, the DMT experience show you that YOU have to be the master of yourself, all of this is part of your OWN potential, and this is your next challenge to be able to activate your own power by yourself.
Most of the time, SENSE is something that appear afterward, after the unfolding - the spiritual path is always a kind of mystery on the moment... Sense appear "a posteriori"

 

[Desterrado]

Maybe don't be so quick to assure yourself that things are all going downhill now. It may be turning into a sort of self fulfilling prophecy. Your mind is a powerful instrument and can be completely willing and capable of subconsciously sabotaging things for yourself.

Thank you for your response.

Thats what I tend to think to calm myself when I start to feel anxious.
I just hope I can find meaning to all of this and start to go on that path

 

[Desterrado]

Interesting story, thank you so much for sharing !

Maybe you thought the "benefits" where "given" to you, offered freely by somekind of DMT magic or entites... Maybe you took them for granted. So, maybe, the DMT experience show you that YOU have to be the master of yourself, all of this is part of your OWN potential, and this is your next challenge to be able to activate your own power by yourself.
Most of the time, SENSE is something that appear afterward, after the unfolding - the spiritual path is always a kind of mystery on the moment... Sense appear "a posteriori"

I sure took them for granted I use to feel that I was cheating life, to obtain access of this kind of information and not been worthy of it.
Its kind of a cruel game if you think about it.

thank you for your words

 

[ultraviolence]

Life is all about ebb and flow. If everything went right 100% of the time, we would never learn anything. Keep riding the wave of the universe and things will come back around before you know it. Don't think about the future, as long as you have everything you need at this exact moment, there is no reason not to smile

 

[DansMaTete]

my 2 cents : Your words made me remember what a friend was telling me. So you might look for what is to be bipolar to know if you recognize some patern.

 

[OneStepBeyond]

my 2 cents : Your words made me remember what a friend was telling me. So you might look for what is to be bipolar to know if you recognize some patern.

I was also thinking about that. I stopped short of saying it because I didn't want to presume too much based on a short description.

But now that it's out there, OP you could always look into this as a possibility.

 

[upwaysidedown]

I've definitely experienced sort of an ebb and flow in that synchronicity, and the first major surge was after my first healing through spice.

Yours does sound quite major in the swing, and as others have said here - I would not rule out something else going on.

But one thing I would (in my belief and wider research) suggest, which is that never consider that you are given gifts, or that others have the power to take from you. In fact as many a great yogi has said: never accept gifts. You are you, what you have is you, your problems are yours, and the answers are in you (even if that means seeking medical help where needed).

 

[Desterrado]

Thank you everyone for your posts.

If I might have a personality disorder, than definitly dmt trigered it.

It should come with a warning label, most of the research I did they were all fairy tales, and people should know theres also a down side of this.

This place is the only one that I think It does warn you. Every thing else in the internet its just happy talk

 

[Desterrado]

But one thing I would (in my belief and wider research) suggest, which is that never consider that you are given gifts, or that others have the power to take from you. In fact as many a great yogi has said: never accept gifts. You are you, what you have is you, your problems are yours, and the answers are in you (even if that means seeking medical help where needed).

The magic was inside you all along that was nice

 

[concombres]

Thank you everyone for your posts.

If I might have a personality disorder, than definitly dmt trigered it.

It should come with a warning label, most of the research I did they were all fairy tales, and people should know theres also a down side of this.

This place is the only one that I think It does warn you. Every thing else in the internet its just happy talk

Healing comes in unexpected ways sometimes. If you do seek medical help & you are suffering from a latent personality disorder, it seems DMT along with the help of a few members here have brought it to your attention & you can begin working towards healing & living a better life.
Without your DMT experiences, who knows how long it may have gone unnoticed & untreated.

 

[upwaysidedown]

Thank you everyone for your posts.

If I might have a personality disorder, than definitly dmt trigered it.

It should come with a warning label, most of the research I did they were all fairy tales, and people should know theres also a down side of this.

This place is the only one that I think It does warn you. Every thing else in the internet its just happy talk

I don't think any of us really know enough, either of the specifics of your situation, of you and how you approach these things to make any judgement on your mental health. The tendency from myself and perhaps others like me would be to lay the blame on anything other than the spice - but reality is that there is risks in everything in life. Many people here are those who are naturally strong people, or have had good guidance and friends who stood with them while they dealt with the blissful and the scary that can come from this journey.

We are subject to the choices we make, and our attitudes and approaches to what life throws at us. Taking spice does need to be respected, but like any drug it should not be a crutch, a requirement to continue from day to day, or expected it to just "fix" us.

I speak because this is a journey I am also feeling. My last two weeks have been really confused, I think because my journey so far has had such progress to make - I was launched through my own evolution, but I was also told to work on things myself. More recently I have realised that I had started expecting the work to be done for me. I chronicled the first part of the journey telling me that, and after that I felt the free flying stop. In fact my wife has pointed out that the message was there the whole time - "lame method". To cut a long story short, I have been told to meditate and develop my mind properly, no shortcuts.

IMHO Spice does not fix us, it does not give you special powers or a new personality. It gives you a new way to see yourself, it shows you what you have and the perspective to allow you to see. From your message it gave you that. We can discover that we had strength and abilities we never realised, it can show us the ridiculousness of some of our fears or preconceptions.

The true abilities it give is the opportunity to follow that message. From your story, it is hard to say how good/bad your mood and state was before you started. Maybe you should flip this around and say you were given the chance to see who you could be, what you are capable of.

It sounds like you are back where you started, or worse off. I will hope that if you feel worse off it is only because of the feeling of loss that now sits on top of where you were to start off with.

In case there is anything that we can all learn from your situation, would you be able to give more information about your useage, what sort of timescales this all happened over, how you interpreted your trips and your relationship with it?

It may be a coincidence in the way you write your report, but it sounds like the order of events was (a) a confusing trip, (b) not feeling on top of the world afterwards, (c) Doing some unmentioned thing to try and undo that problem, then (d) everything else falling apart. But I imaging that things were already in a bad way before (c)

You definitely attribute (a) as the overall cause, but although you do not wish to talk about it - is it possible that (c) may have exacerbated the whole thing?

Anyway - I wish you the best of luck, and any advice you can give to help others from finding themselves there would I think be extremely useful for others following your path.

 

[PsyDuckmonkey]

If I might have a personality disorder, than definitly dmt trigered it.

It gave you an awesome wave of motivation, which then went away (and now you're back to how you were before it began). Now you are blaming the drug.

Ask yourself this: if you could make it so the whole thing never happened, would you? And if this used to be your baseline, how come you're blaming DMT?

It should come with a warning label, most of the research I did they were all fairy tales, and people should know theres also a down side of this.

It kinda does, you know. The fact that you haven't heard of it only speaks of the depth of your "research", and not the availability of information.

But still, I don't get you at all. If you want to salvage your gains before you squander everything, I suggest going to see a therapist, and improving your conscious control of your life..

You haven't "cheated" at all. Life as you have experienced is how life was meant to be. You weren't "given anything", nor was it "taken away". You have experienced a period of clarity of purpose. Be thankful to the drug instead of blaming it, and get working on how to rebuild and maintain that clarity further.

 

[○]

Thank you everyone for your posts.

If I might have a personality disorder, than definitly dmt trigered it.

It should come with a warning label, most of the research I did they were all fairy tales, and people should know theres also a down side of this.

This place is the only one that I think It does warn you. Every thing else in the internet its just happy talk

Yeah, the DMT experience certainly isn't 'all one way'. It can encompass a wide swing of physical effects, sensations, insights, points of view, forms of gnosis, etc. Most if not all of my 'difficult experience' were variable lessons on giving in, letting go, and trusting whichever direction the experience was going, no matter how it felt mentally or physically. Truly trusting the experience to the point where you can chuckle in the midst of it ripping you to pieces, welcoming the sensations, welcoming the dread, welcoming the other-worldly nature of the experience to the point of just throwing your arms back falling back onto a bed, smile on your face, letting it run through you unimpeded.

After these experiences it's wise to follow up with healthy activities, things to where eventually you fall into a pattern of being active; clean up your diet, go out and have experiences with yourself and/or others. Nothing astronomical in the way of advice, just some common sense that becomes clouded over the years of cultural/personal programming. Some form of meditation, nothing elaborate; just keeping the eyes closed, slowing the breath, focusing; sitting with your own awareness; this can provide massive benefits in terms of how we typically view our thoughts, the mind, and how easy it is for the mind to evolve and change over time. Sticking with something like this can afford massive leaps in the ease of the thought processes of the mind and allowing much more fluidity in terms of observation of your thoughts and how that translates out into your everyday life. These things play heavily into how well the DMT experience unfolds and how well the DMT experiences will carry over into your life.

A mix of these things can keep you in good standing mentally. The key is consistency. It's very easy to fall off from these practices, i've been there. These things are so heavily overlooked by many people I feel. They will aid you endlessly if you stick with them.

 

[Desterrado]

The true abilities it give is the opportunity to follow that message. From your story, it is hard to say how good/bad your mood and state was before you started. Maybe you should flip this around and say you were given the chance to see who you could be, what you are capable of.

Hedonist, very egocentric, womanizer and materialistic person, until I found DeMeTrio it showed me the harm that I was doing to myself and others around me. (Theres lots of things to be thankful too)

It sounds like you are back where you started, or worse off. I will hope that if you feel worse off it is only because of the feeling of loss that now sits on top of where you were to start off with.

I feel worst, because at somepoint when I started to disccard the things I had (material) I realized those were the things that made me feel good back then when I havent had the dmt experiences. (this was a hard realization to know that I needed things to feel good about myself)
But when I had my superpowers none of the material stuff mattered in fact I dressed diferently than what I used to, so that I can talk to people in the streets and they wouldnt be prejudgemental. (I know how this sounds but Im truly sharing)

In case there is anything that we can all learn from your situation, would you be able to give more information about your useage, what sort of timescales this all happened over, how you interpreted your trips and your relationship with it?

It all started a year ago from this january 2016 the last time a did it was in June 2015. It has been 7 months trying to work things out.
And as the time passes, and read of more about others peoples experiences I feel kind of better.

It may be a coincidence in the way you write your report, but it sounds like the order of events was (a) a confusing trip, (b) not feeling on top of the world afterwards, (c) Doing some unmentioned thing to try and undo that problem, then (d) everything else falling apart. But I imaging that things were already in a bad way before (c)

You definitely attribute (a) as the overall cause, but although you do not wish to talk about it - is it possible that (c) may have exacerbated the whole thing?

The reason that I did dmt the last time, was because I felt that something bad was going on, a series of events made realize it, so went to hyperspace to ask for a solution, as soon as I came back I realized that none of the events that I felt they were happening actually occurred, so it felt (I know it sound crazy) like the trip that I took and all the energy how I asked to fixed that event, somehow help for the event not to occur.
So as soon as I started to feel in my chest as the way I used to feel before encountering dmt I interpret that fealling as If my energy or my future life that I had vission were taken in order to set the balance of that unpleasent event that I've just stopped from happening.
Like if I had to pay in order to get that for what I asked for.

By the way I really enjoyed the way you organize your ideas in order to give advice. :thumb_up:

 

[Desterrado]

The true abilities it give is the opportunity to follow that message. From your story, it is hard to say how good/bad your mood and state was before you started. Maybe you should flip this around and say you were given the chance to see who you could be, what you are capable of.

Hedonist, very egocentric, womanizer and materialistic person, until I found DeMeTrio it showed me the harm that I was doing to myself and others around me. (Theres lots of things to be thankful too)

It sounds like you are back where you started, or worse off. I will hope that if you feel worse off it is only because of the feeling of loss that now sits on top of where you were to start off with.

I feel worst, because at somepoint when I started to disccard the things I had (material) I realized those were the things that made me feel good back then when I havent had the dmt experiences. (this was a hard realization to know that I needed things to feel good about myself)
But when I had my superpowers none of the material stuff mattered in fact I dressed diferently than what I used to, so that I can talk to people in the streets and they wouldnt be prejudgemental. (I know how this sounds but Im truly sharing)

In case there is anything that we can all learn from your situation, would you be able to give more information about your useage, what sort of timescales this all happened over, how you interpreted your trips and your relationship with it?

It all started a year ago from this january 2016 the last time a did it was in June 2015. It has been 7 months trying to work things out.
And as the time passes, and read of more about others peoples experiences I feel kind of better.

It may be a coincidence in the way you write your report, but it sounds like the order of events was (a) a confusing trip, (b) not feeling on top of the world afterwards, (c) Doing some unmentioned thing to try and undo that problem, then (d) everything else falling apart. But I imaging that things were already in a bad way before (c)

You definitely attribute (a) as the overall cause, but although you do not wish to talk about it - is it possible that (c) may have exacerbated the whole thing?

The reason that I did dmt the last time, was because I felt that something bad was going on, a series of events made realize it, so went to hyperspace to ask for a solution, as soon as I came back I realized that none of the events that I felt they were happening actually occurred, so it felt (I know it sound crazy) like the trip that I took and all the energy how I asked to fixed that event, somehow help for the event not to occur.
So as soon as I started to feel in my chest as the way I used to feel before encountering dmt I interpret that fealling as If my energy or my future life that I had vission were taken in order to set the balance of that unpleasent event that I've just stopped from happening.
Like if I had to pay in order to get that for what I asked for.

By the way I really enjoyed the way you organize your ideas in order to give advice. :thumb_up:

 

[Desterrado]

You haven't "cheated" at all. Life as you have experienced is how life was meant to be. You weren't "given anything", nor was it "taken away". You have experienced a period of clarity of purpose. Be thankful to the drug instead of blaming it, and get working on how to rebuild and maintain that clarity further.

I Agree with the clarity purpose that you mention I had perfectly well envision where my life was headed, but then I couldnt felt the same way and it was so suddenly.

About the cheating part, thats how I feel when you get things wich you havent had an effort in obtaining them. (pretty much how I got all of the stuff I got (cheating)

And I found that some people here couldnt explain either on their out of nowhere improvement.

The difference is that they got to their skill level gradually and their understanding of what they did grew with their skill. You got there suddenly and your sudden improved performance defies explanation by your current level of understanding.

I find this to be the case in terms of "energy work" with DMT. Though I am scarcely familiar with Qi Gong, DMT summons mass amounts of this energy (seemingly) which moves my body in precise Qi Gong-like postures on contact. I have learned to summon this energy during meditation with breathing and concentration, but were it not for the DMT, I never would have figured out how to sense or manipulate this energy, and also it's not as powerful when I summon it through meditation, though I imagine a skilled and trained Qi Gong master could probably easily summon such energy. It seems that as with all other things in life, even this energy work improves with practice. With DMT, it's like having the training wheels on - not as much is "expected" of your skill level, but the results are full and instantaneous. The more I read what I quoted from you above, the more accurate it seems across the board and not just relating to energy.

 

[Tommi]

Hey Desterrado. I feel you, since my experience with DMT are on the same spectrum, nearly the same just with different variables. We both are babies that got our candies stolen

Did you ever heard about "Dark night of the soul", popularised in some spiritual writings? I feel like that's may be the answer. I have been exiled 3 years before now, and just like you I tried to do the same things that I did while I was guided by this higher power, the roof. But now I just know that I have to move on, and little voice tells me that going through the dark night will somehow pay off. And that hedonism after all is the answer to suffering :d

Hey and don't listen to Psyduckmonkey. That one is evil, and wants to lead you astray. Don't try to consciously control your life. Rather be here and now as much as you can, and wait for it. Just in case, I am kidding. You are always here and now, so the only thing you can actually do is make decisions pull the levers and direct your ship towards the heart of the sun :d

 

[upwaysidedown]

Destarrado,

Thank you for the extra detail. Only you though can judge your situation, but if some of my thoughts are helping then I will continue:

Firstly, why should it be hard and take effort to have clarity on direction? Some people just have that, and don't work for it - mental health should just be there. To feel that it is cheating sort of implies you feel that you are not worthy (which I am guessing you do, and blame yourself for not being a "good" person in the past) - you won't be able to hold onto something until you believe you deserve it, so forgive yourself (easier said than done, but perhaps this is the next journey).

Your hedonism hurt others, and so was to excess - and was in turn hurting yourself (which it seems you are still injured from). But don't deny yourself pleasure, personal pleasure is not bad - it is necessary. You cannot make others happy when you yourself are not happy. But for example if someone is alcoholic, it would make sense to avoid alcohol so there is always balance here, and where to find that pleasure can be challenging unless you realise that there is pleasure in everything and in the visceral just living, seeing the world, singing to your favourite music...

Looks like DMT in its infinite mystery gave you a ride with training wheels, and the training wheels are off. It wasn't cheating, it was a lesson. Get back on the bike, you will fall off maybe, but keep trying - perhaps the message is that it is time to realise you can ride the bike by yourself if you believe.

Sounds to me like you are someone going through significant personal growth, embrace it, keep moving, never stop learning.