Teamleary
Rising Star
Hey everybody,
I wanted to ask when do you feel like you should stop for a little while...
I often think of the famous Alan Watts quote: "when you get the message, hang up the phone".
Among you, who feels they got the message? And among those who got the message, who felt ready to hang up the phone? (maybe the ones that keep on coming here haven't hung up! but then, if you haven't, why?)
My weekly DMT ritual is on Wednesdays but last night, I felt like I should take a break. Why? It's not clear. But one thing comes to my mind: I think I've been starting to chase something.
Every time I took LSD I ended up thinking "oh, now I understand why there's no need to drop LSD".
A bunch of time in DMT trips, the spice was telling me "there is no breakthrough". Of course, I don't think the spice was denying the "gap" there is between sub-BT and BT experiences. I think it was saying something like what Zen Buddhism says sometimes "there is no enlightenment", or "the awakening is realizing there is no awakening", stuff like that.
I've always envisioned psychedelics as means to get rid of my ego and increase my capacity to love reality/others. I'm afraid that I've lost track of that for the past few weeks. I also think it could be the flip side of such a beautiful place like this one. At some point, you read reports and you feel "I wanna experience that!" and you start to believe, subconsciously or not, that your life will not be complete until you get there, that you're missing out on something, or missing something period. You compare yourself to others, which is never great.
The experience is fascinating, overwhelming, yet very mysterious. So it calls for more. And bigger dosage.
At the end of a recent experience, as I was coming back down, the spice told me to be more humble. Like "I know you're trying as much as you can to be humble to others and to yourself, but you can do more". And it kinda shed light on some parts of my life where I'm still pretty "confident". I remember Ram Dass saying that the final and biggest obstacle on the path to enlightenment is righteousness: the great yogi is prevented from awakening because of how good he is. Sometimes, I feel like I'm trying to hard to be great in my spiritual journey, in a way. I also remember this beautiful quote:
"the next answer you need is right where you are".
And so I feel like I need to take a couple of weeks away from the spice, just to be able to greet the trip like a pure gift again, and not as a means to gain something.
I wonder how many of us couldn't BT just because they were aware of the concept of BT. Because often, reaching out for something is the worst way to get it.
Here are some of my questions, I hope you can relate to some of them, and maybe share how you feel : )
I wanted to ask when do you feel like you should stop for a little while...
I often think of the famous Alan Watts quote: "when you get the message, hang up the phone".
Among you, who feels they got the message? And among those who got the message, who felt ready to hang up the phone? (maybe the ones that keep on coming here haven't hung up! but then, if you haven't, why?)
My weekly DMT ritual is on Wednesdays but last night, I felt like I should take a break. Why? It's not clear. But one thing comes to my mind: I think I've been starting to chase something.
Every time I took LSD I ended up thinking "oh, now I understand why there's no need to drop LSD".
A bunch of time in DMT trips, the spice was telling me "there is no breakthrough". Of course, I don't think the spice was denying the "gap" there is between sub-BT and BT experiences. I think it was saying something like what Zen Buddhism says sometimes "there is no enlightenment", or "the awakening is realizing there is no awakening", stuff like that.
I've always envisioned psychedelics as means to get rid of my ego and increase my capacity to love reality/others. I'm afraid that I've lost track of that for the past few weeks. I also think it could be the flip side of such a beautiful place like this one. At some point, you read reports and you feel "I wanna experience that!" and you start to believe, subconsciously or not, that your life will not be complete until you get there, that you're missing out on something, or missing something period. You compare yourself to others, which is never great.
The experience is fascinating, overwhelming, yet very mysterious. So it calls for more. And bigger dosage.
At the end of a recent experience, as I was coming back down, the spice told me to be more humble. Like "I know you're trying as much as you can to be humble to others and to yourself, but you can do more". And it kinda shed light on some parts of my life where I'm still pretty "confident". I remember Ram Dass saying that the final and biggest obstacle on the path to enlightenment is righteousness: the great yogi is prevented from awakening because of how good he is. Sometimes, I feel like I'm trying to hard to be great in my spiritual journey, in a way. I also remember this beautiful quote:
"the next answer you need is right where you are".
And so I feel like I need to take a couple of weeks away from the spice, just to be able to greet the trip like a pure gift again, and not as a means to gain something.
I wonder how many of us couldn't BT just because they were aware of the concept of BT. Because often, reaching out for something is the worst way to get it.
Here are some of my questions, I hope you can relate to some of them, and maybe share how you feel : )
Anyway thats why I embrace your courage. You are really going out there into the frontiers, you are getting the visions, decoding the message, experiencing that love haha but thats so cool! You are very fortunate. It takes balls. Its strong medicine. Its good that the medicine exists, it will always be available, it is born of the earth as we are. But I think its amazing how all things come to pass. There is only consciousness, you always return to your self, to silence, emptiness...you are always your same consciousness from the day you were born to now, its just that ideas and perspectives and emotions and habits change, but the stream of consciousness is really supreme. Its firm, present. The seasons...Impermanence.
