Would you like to have kids?

[clouds]

I am not in the mood of writing an introduction explaining why I ask this question here. I know people here are smart and understand that this question is addressed to people who don't have kids yet, but that people with kids of their own can comment on it.

So... kids or child-free?
My own stance is that I wouldn't want kids if I ever find a woman with whom to spend the rest of my life :roll: . I know I am too hedonist to have kids. I want a life without such a big responsibility as raising kids. Why? Because I would like to spend that energy in other things... mainly enjoying life, travelling, tripping, exploring, creating, etc etc. Yeah I know I can do all that even with kids but its still not the same because I am not rich and because (and most importantly) I would take parenthood to damn serious.


So, DMT users... what do you think about having kids?

 

[۩]

I will absolutely never procreate.

 

[BananaForeskin]

I'd like to have a kid(s). I think it'd be fun, and I'm fine with responsibility. Raising a child is one situation where you, the parent, have the ability to make a change in the world; your child is someone you can teach all the lessons you've learned and show the things you've found... in the hope that they too will work to push society in the right direction.

I'm not sure when that would happen, but I think it will at some point. Probably not in a "settle down in suburbia and raise a family" sense, at all, but it might.

 

[universecannon]

i dont know

maybe if the state of the world did a 180, and i fell in love- then we'd think about it

 

[corpus callosum]

The best way to reduce your 'ecological' footprint is simply to not procreate.My DNA dies with me and will not taint this world beyond my demise.

 

[geeg30]

Ive got 4 of the little (and not so little) buggers and they are a fuckin nightmare - only jesting. Kids are hard work but I wouldnt change the fact that I have them. I can only say to stay away when your young but as you get older they can be very life changing - in a good way.

 

[Phantastica]

i'm not sure, but i dont think i wanna ever have kid(s).
life's too short yo. i agree with you that children are a huge responsibility, and i give my parents mad props for raising me.
i'm also very hedonistic, and would rather invest that time and energy elsewhere enjoying my life, and living to the fullest.
I also dont think that i need an offspring to pass on my learned knowledge down the lineage. There are too many relatives in my family who i can pass along my knowledge to. I can (and plan to) also spread it other ways via my writings, public lectures, and other forms of media.
Over the years, i've also dissociated from the recurrent archetype of "my child" that is so predominant in our current cultural paradigm. All is one..
Another reason is that our planet's already too populated
:d

 

[zubidlo]

Not yet. Even in my thirties I still don't feel/act as responsible adult:d . I don't want to become one just yet. They are sad and boring:roll: Having a kid must be GREAT, but it would be too much of responsibility and too big of lifestyle change imho. But, maybe I just worry too much...

 

[ewok]

I never planned on having a kid and it changed my life for the better that's for sure, but have seen a lot of people have kids that clearly shouldn't of so I feel if its not 100% what you want and you aren't willing to change for it don't put the child through it.

 

[Buster]

funnily enough just lastnight my partner announced she'd like to have another child:d we have two girls 5 and 8.

I would highly recomend having kids(when you find the right woman/man and are ready).

Its actually kinda like DMT in a funny kinda way. sounds very intriguing and kinda scary but once you get used to the idea and go through with it you can get boundless joy and happyness from it but you'll never really fully understand it unless you do it.

it can be seriously hard work at times but i mean is there anything more amazing than the creation of life? its very hard to think of something that tops that in my opinion.

I absolutly love watching my kids grow, learn new things and develope. its such a great feeling and the unconditional love they give you, you wont get that anywhere else. having kids was the greatest thing iv ever done ever.

plus its real good fun making them

 

[Ekstasis]

I think someday that I would like to but there's still so much more I want to do in my life before I take on that kind of commitment. I'm not quite 30 yet but I know I just haven't achieved the level of maturity for something like fatherhood. Besides I'm still just a big kid myself

 

[easyrider]

It's a tough question, indeed, which I've pondered about on occasion. Part of me weighs out the pros and cons of generating offspring in this day and age. Part of me wants to ignore the process of logical deduction regarding the matter and simply appease my parents' hopes and wishes. It's inappropriate to attribute the weight of the decision to my parents, though. Their collective consciousness affects me only so much after all. Deep inside, I would like to procreate on the basis of introducing a unique mind(s) to the world through conditioning. It is my belief that children are conditioned by their parents unconditionally, even if some make it their duty not to. The child is a sponge that absorbs every action by the parent(s). As I dig even further, I wonder whether this desire to introduce a new being is just an egoistic act of extending myself in this material universe (a method of immortalizing myself). Maybe it's just something embedded in my psyche, that I must continue the tradition as my forebears have done. Strife in the affairs of the modern world and strife in the process of raising a family inhibit a definite decision from my part. Then I proceed to think of strife; what is strife anyway? Strife has always existed and will continue to exist. Should one not procreate because of strife? In conclusion, I have yet to make up my mind in regard to this question, but I am leaning towards the side of procreation.

 

[soulfood]

A year ago I would have said yes.

Now I'd say no.

I think the reality of it is, if I can find myself a good matching partner, I'd probably have 1 kid. Do a damn good job of raising it too!

This next bit is going to make me sound like a nazi, but I see inferior stock breeding en masse and I have enough confidence to say I'm better than them Socially and genetically.

Ultimately if you don't leave at least one person behind with a good set of values and education you're just leaving this planet for the dogs to feed on.

Fascist rant over

 

[EquaL Observer]

This is something which I've thought about. When we think of "what is the meaning of life?", "Why do I exist?" - a big part of it is the fact that two other beings at some point planned (or didn't) to create you through the bizarre act of sex. If we never procreated again then it would end the rather perverted flow of human life.

It's so difficult to say whether or not we are glad that our parents created us. Is it morally correct to bring another being into the world? While I like the idea of limiting my outward effect on the world - it seems that having a child is some big part of life. Too difficult to answer now I think, who knows how the world will be when I am 30

 

[ragabr]

Ultimately if you don't leave at least one person behind with a good set of values and education you're just leaving this planet for the dogs to feed on.

I've always felt this way as well.

On the other hand, I've seen many people drastically changing who they were after having children. One thing many soon-to-be parents don't consider is the different social pressures you're exposed to as a parent. Want your kids to be able to go on play-dates with children in the area? You can't be too weird of a parent then.

People seem to become much more materialistic after having children. I don't know if it's a biological change or exposure to different social pressures, but it's definitely something I've seen. Many parents also develop strong depression in our society, which has far reaching effects on the children.

I would love to have children, but only if I lived within an intentional community where all of the families spread the work of raising the children. A place where the children could run around and be involved in the productive life, having several different role models with whom to develop emotionally attached relationships.

 

[endlessness]

The best way to reduce your 'ecological' footprint is simply to not procreate.My DNA dies with me and will not taint this world beyond my demise.

What if your kid would come up with a great sustainability invention for the world? :shock:

 

[Sally]

Yes! :d

I am a mother by nature, I cannot deny that aspect of myself.

Much love,
Sally xx

 

[jbark]

I have one child, 2.5 yr old boy and it is AMAZING: amazingly difficult, amazingly demanding, amazingly rewarding, amazingly emotional, amazingly exhausting, amazingly exhilarating, amazing catalyst for (good and bad) change, amazing life experience I cannot now imagine foregoing. Want to taste the dew of a new, unfamiliar love? Have a kid. Want to learn profound lessons about yourself that are easy to avoid otherwise? Have a kid. With great effort I am sure (or am I?) you can learn most or all of these lessons some other way, but, like DMT, having a child forces your hand.

Having a kid is what reawakened my profound and lifelong interest in altered consciousness - the mere fact of somehow, mysteriously, creating another life, another consciousness, sparked that age old question in me : WHAT IS CONSCIOUSNESS? As my girlfriends belly grew from flat to to bulging to volleyball to basketball sized I kept asking myself:

NOW?

or NOW? or now or now ornowornowornowornow?

At what point, at one moment, does the self-reflexive mirror spark the inward looking machine?

PERPLEXING.

And it was just the beginning.

I look at my kid every day and think, cliche as it is: WHAT A MIRACLE!

And, less commonly: What is he? WHAT THE FUCK AM I?

A second one? Damn, theoretically yes, in practice - can I deal with another 2 sleepless years? I am selfish, and self-centered beyond what I ever imagined, and far less generous than the being I was sure I was. But I am working on it. Every day. So that I may be worthy of another child.

Certainly not for everyone, but I weep inside, to the very pith of my being, when I imagine life without that little smile, that little laugh, that little head on my shoulders, that NEED - a shared need, a connection to creation. I can only imagine how it must feel for a woman...

JBArk

Oh, another thought I had regarding this question and relevant to my situation, contemplating a second: You will never regret HAVING a kid, but you will very possibly regret NOT having one.

 

[teotenakeltje]

Certainly not for everyone, but I weep inside, to the very pith of my being, when I imagine life without that little smile, that little laugh, that little head on my shoulders, that NEED - a shared need, a connection to creation. I can only imagine how it must feel for a woman...

YES! beautifully put Jbark.
I have a 4 year old daughter and sometimes it frightens me when i realize how attached i've become to her. And i notice it is vice versa. She needs me and i need her.

Honestly my daughter is about the most beautiful human being i know. So pure, so honest, so funny, so creative (but also demanding, exhausting and loud

But sometimes i do miss the single life, no responsibility, no compromising, no waking up,... but at the end i'm sure my life would be so much emptier.

Ragabr: i agree that as a parent you are exposed to lot's of social pressure. Most of the parents from our kindergarten are those narrow minded, materialistic people with whom i do not want to share my spare time and living in a small village with mostly white conservative parents, i do stick out of the group with my African face and African semi dreaded hair but hey...it's just funny to see the irony of it all

 

[tetra]

It felt as if I gave birth to an alien during one dmt adventure; slimy tentacles, fluorescent body. That was strange. And also about as close as I want to get to having real kids. I've never wanted children, but as a dmt traveler I wouldn't feel like a responsible parent with such a highly illegal substance around. It wouldn't be fair to the child to put your freedom at risk. Get your kicks, learn your path with the molecule, then, if you choose to have kids, put the spice away, your priorities have just changed (one can hope).