Hello Nexus.
I'm ready for the intro essay, so I'll just roll with it.
Over the last year or two, some personal changes were brought about as a product of a long series of many many mescaline trips. Life changes, goals, directions, motivations, etc. were slowly put into extremely serious motion about a year ago.
After a few months of acting on this and further locking down decisions, I discovered ayahuasca. I'd heard of it and DMT beforehand, but only as, “in the world, there's food, and then there's drugs. And there's drugs, and then there's psychedelics. And there's psychedelics, and then there's DMT.” More on that in a minute. I had had enough extensive tripping on acid/shrooms/cacti to consider myself “experienced” and sat for general initiations, but found myself to be a bit of a zealot (thus the topic).
Eventually I noticed what I want to call the recursive nature of mind expansion in many individuals, consequently nature and disciplines. That was the beginning of the currently unfolding Truth I am seeking.
I decided I needed to back off the pot because of all the negative it and I were getting into. Then I found myself trying a light dose of ayahuasca and was amazed at the similarities between it as a proper mushroom mixed with positive salvia-esque visuals and feelings of travel. I saw a path of colorful coyote tessellations who were grinning, followed them to a large scary tree being that I accepted and it merged with me and I felt a strange presence in my eyebrows and forehead like a reminder that we were sharing the body. A few more light sessions, I stopped smoking pot completely, then a few weeks later cigarettes. Another light trip after a week of being off I was still asking for things from the aya, and asked for the strength to continue my not smoking. It came to my mind that it was not an exchange, getting strength to stay off cigs or staying off cigs to get strong, but that: In not smoking I am strong. Totally useful as a concept (removes linearity, smears the now of causation), though I'll still smoke a tobacco pipe once every few weeks for recreation and flavour and get a fat head/body buzz, with minimal cravings the following day or two which are easily battled with the mantra “In not smoking I am strong."
After this, I had an out of body experience on 13g mimosachalihuasca and some datura seeds (enabled mostly by my mentally asking the datura to really show me what it could do... haven't been back to these places since, but then again I haven't asked or felt the same kind of spiritual vibes) and I met this large spider/squid like creature with a baby's face that was constantly changing to seemingly thousands of faces at once while 'visually' resonating as this baby. It was wild, I was a point of perception, able to move about in the space and inspect the being. Each tendril was composed of “potentiality joints” that were a thought by an undefined someone and upon further examination spiraled out into who could think it and why and in what context and the situations surrounding it that made it possible to get there in one of many singular linear reality streams and then where it could go and who it could go to and what rippling effects it might have, etc. I was free to zoom out of this and move to another dot or discuss the nature of things with this creature, but at the time I was quite aware that this stage of awareness was only available through the exploding mindstream I was experiencing, so it's hard for me to really recall anything (convenient, I know, but totally unfortunate) except the vibe that, “this is just how things really are.” Later, there was a room which felt like “larger” than three-space, like OUTside space where distance didn't make much sense. I was actually a greater humanoid-esque being constructed of some white material, and there was at least one other similar creature who was aware of me. Communication didn't happen here that I recall, it was mostly spatial exploration and attempts to understand amidst some confusion. It did feel good in a unique way to be there though. Then there was a room on which I was laying out on a table, and there were people around me. This is weird, they looked like the gray soul matter that people appear to be made of sometimes when I do salvia in a crowded room. Anyway, I was unhooked from some shit on the table and they helped me stand up as though I had been laying for a while, and I took one deep breath – this breath, I still get waves of goosebumps when I think about it. It felt sooo good, it stands out in my mind as a pinnacle of health and pleasant freedom. During the trip (though not oobe) there were also standard themes of good and evil, patience and pleasure, dark plants trying to devour my light armour so I would merge with their darkness – usual stuff.
About two months ago I had some time off and a turning point I wanted to expand within and crystalize, so I spent a few days in a row with aya and cacti to work up to a 30g mimosa/chali aya night. This was a good one, lots of scale experiences that reminded me of Gulliver's Travels. The most important thing I realized was that I was ready to begin getting to know the spice, and I successfully completed a stb the following day. Since I can breakthrough on Salvia with little to no worry or thought, I figured I would just load a big sandwich bowl (I did research how to eyeball, but I wanted the first time to be very strong) of the freeze precip fluff and go for as much as I could before I comfortably launched.
Oh how wrong was I. I sat on grass which may or may not have been wet, and I was sweating so much after the third hit, that when I went down I couldn't figure any shit out: wet arms or grass or sweat am I breathing where is water? I started to leave my body and wanted to catalog the events and progression, and see the things I'd read about. This was a mistake, I then felt the fear. Fortunately, I was not capable of forming thoughts, and by the time I was able to recognize things I could worry about, I slowly started to notice that they were getting better. My first complete thought was “this is some seriously intensely heavy shit” and my first spoken sentence for a while was “Fascinating.” I decided that I needed to get intimate with the lower levels before I attempted a high dose again, and probably buy a scale. Since then, I found how and when it is best to smoke it for me and my lifestyle, and started going deeper.
This is why I write the introduction essay, I am learning to do what this site is about: explore spice reality, and contribute how I can. I am currently working on getting familiar with three dimensional spice space and have acquired the eye for just how many little particles will go how far. I know “the trance,” usually where rooms are revealed and time goes wonkily away. I've also barely encountered entities. But I don't feel like I've had the B/T to Hyperspace just yet. Usually my physical body is somewhere that I don't want to fall over, so I hold on just a bit at the last moment.
Someday, and I'll write a report.
I'm ready for the intro essay, so I'll just roll with it.
Over the last year or two, some personal changes were brought about as a product of a long series of many many mescaline trips. Life changes, goals, directions, motivations, etc. were slowly put into extremely serious motion about a year ago.
After a few months of acting on this and further locking down decisions, I discovered ayahuasca. I'd heard of it and DMT beforehand, but only as, “in the world, there's food, and then there's drugs. And there's drugs, and then there's psychedelics. And there's psychedelics, and then there's DMT.” More on that in a minute. I had had enough extensive tripping on acid/shrooms/cacti to consider myself “experienced” and sat for general initiations, but found myself to be a bit of a zealot (thus the topic).
Eventually I noticed what I want to call the recursive nature of mind expansion in many individuals, consequently nature and disciplines. That was the beginning of the currently unfolding Truth I am seeking.
I decided I needed to back off the pot because of all the negative it and I were getting into. Then I found myself trying a light dose of ayahuasca and was amazed at the similarities between it as a proper mushroom mixed with positive salvia-esque visuals and feelings of travel. I saw a path of colorful coyote tessellations who were grinning, followed them to a large scary tree being that I accepted and it merged with me and I felt a strange presence in my eyebrows and forehead like a reminder that we were sharing the body. A few more light sessions, I stopped smoking pot completely, then a few weeks later cigarettes. Another light trip after a week of being off I was still asking for things from the aya, and asked for the strength to continue my not smoking. It came to my mind that it was not an exchange, getting strength to stay off cigs or staying off cigs to get strong, but that: In not smoking I am strong. Totally useful as a concept (removes linearity, smears the now of causation), though I'll still smoke a tobacco pipe once every few weeks for recreation and flavour and get a fat head/body buzz, with minimal cravings the following day or two which are easily battled with the mantra “In not smoking I am strong."
After this, I had an out of body experience on 13g mimosachalihuasca and some datura seeds (enabled mostly by my mentally asking the datura to really show me what it could do... haven't been back to these places since, but then again I haven't asked or felt the same kind of spiritual vibes) and I met this large spider/squid like creature with a baby's face that was constantly changing to seemingly thousands of faces at once while 'visually' resonating as this baby. It was wild, I was a point of perception, able to move about in the space and inspect the being. Each tendril was composed of “potentiality joints” that were a thought by an undefined someone and upon further examination spiraled out into who could think it and why and in what context and the situations surrounding it that made it possible to get there in one of many singular linear reality streams and then where it could go and who it could go to and what rippling effects it might have, etc. I was free to zoom out of this and move to another dot or discuss the nature of things with this creature, but at the time I was quite aware that this stage of awareness was only available through the exploding mindstream I was experiencing, so it's hard for me to really recall anything (convenient, I know, but totally unfortunate) except the vibe that, “this is just how things really are.” Later, there was a room which felt like “larger” than three-space, like OUTside space where distance didn't make much sense. I was actually a greater humanoid-esque being constructed of some white material, and there was at least one other similar creature who was aware of me. Communication didn't happen here that I recall, it was mostly spatial exploration and attempts to understand amidst some confusion. It did feel good in a unique way to be there though. Then there was a room on which I was laying out on a table, and there were people around me. This is weird, they looked like the gray soul matter that people appear to be made of sometimes when I do salvia in a crowded room. Anyway, I was unhooked from some shit on the table and they helped me stand up as though I had been laying for a while, and I took one deep breath – this breath, I still get waves of goosebumps when I think about it. It felt sooo good, it stands out in my mind as a pinnacle of health and pleasant freedom. During the trip (though not oobe) there were also standard themes of good and evil, patience and pleasure, dark plants trying to devour my light armour so I would merge with their darkness – usual stuff.
About two months ago I had some time off and a turning point I wanted to expand within and crystalize, so I spent a few days in a row with aya and cacti to work up to a 30g mimosa/chali aya night. This was a good one, lots of scale experiences that reminded me of Gulliver's Travels. The most important thing I realized was that I was ready to begin getting to know the spice, and I successfully completed a stb the following day. Since I can breakthrough on Salvia with little to no worry or thought, I figured I would just load a big sandwich bowl (I did research how to eyeball, but I wanted the first time to be very strong) of the freeze precip fluff and go for as much as I could before I comfortably launched.
Oh how wrong was I. I sat on grass which may or may not have been wet, and I was sweating so much after the third hit, that when I went down I couldn't figure any shit out: wet arms or grass or sweat am I breathing where is water? I started to leave my body and wanted to catalog the events and progression, and see the things I'd read about. This was a mistake, I then felt the fear. Fortunately, I was not capable of forming thoughts, and by the time I was able to recognize things I could worry about, I slowly started to notice that they were getting better. My first complete thought was “this is some seriously intensely heavy shit” and my first spoken sentence for a while was “Fascinating.” I decided that I needed to get intimate with the lower levels before I attempted a high dose again, and probably buy a scale. Since then, I found how and when it is best to smoke it for me and my lifestyle, and started going deeper.
This is why I write the introduction essay, I am learning to do what this site is about: explore spice reality, and contribute how I can. I am currently working on getting familiar with three dimensional spice space and have acquired the eye for just how many little particles will go how far. I know “the trance,” usually where rooms are revealed and time goes wonkily away. I've also barely encountered entities. But I don't feel like I've had the B/T to Hyperspace just yet. Usually my physical body is somewhere that I don't want to fall over, so I hold on just a bit at the last moment.
Someday, and I'll write a report.
