Then, after deciding to give 4-Ho-MiPT another try a couple of years later, I finally had an experience where I saw how to enjoy it and what it is really capable of. Instead of trying to stay awake and conscious, and fighting to understand and solve the problems it was showing me, I just 'let go'. I took a leap of faith into the abyss, disregarding the vital urgency, the emotional intensity and my conservation instinct that were prodding me to fight to remain conscious, intellectually coherent and in control of my mind. I surrendered to death, and I was taken through some kind of vibration running through me like a torrent issuing forth from the void, a few moments of nothingness and total peace, reminiscent of a deep and restful sleep, followed by a rebirth into the world I could not see before through the veil of the thoughts accumulated in my mind. I had been cleansed and purified, and I was free to take inside me the world around, which finally showed itself in all its majestic and crystalline beauty, created anew every moment as I had been reborn myself through the psychedelic experience.
And then, I was further surprised, for as before I had never had any kind of visuals from 4-x-T's, I began having the most complex and vivid visuals I had ever had. They literally came out of the woodwork, as if I was finally free to see them after the confusion was lifted from my mind. This is the only substance I've had photorealistic CEV's on, actual objects indistinguishable from reality, as opposed to the computer graphics-like artwork I see on other substances. I saw Byzantine church spires, Arab palaces, intricate arabesque patterns carved in stone, vistas of cities from above. They were more similar to dream visuals than psychedelic CEV's, and the closest thing I can compare them to are some very vivid hypnagogic visuals I sometimes get. As far as drugs go, the only one that compared IME was some of the cleanest acid.
For the rest of the trip, I felt as if I had woken from a deep, restful sleep. My mind was crystal clear, and I felt full of life and energy. Whereas before I only wanted to lie down and try to get comfortable, now I wanted to get up and do stuff, talk to people, explore, have fun. Even though I was having exquisite visuals, mentally I felt absolutely sober, with just a clean and natural-feeling tranquility and energy, a 'centered' feeling as I've seen it described, where my soul and mind felt like they were just the way they were meant to be, at total peace and working at their full capacity. I had a complex and lengthy conversation on messenger where my mental acuity, my typing speed and accuracy were improved and the general import of my opinions and emotions was essentially unchanged from my sober state, without the confusion and convoluted thoughts I often get on psychedelics. I felt more sober than sober.
And for the next 3-4 days I felt incredible. I felt reborn and purified, healthy and sober. The world around me was crisp and vivid, with intensified colors, and I felt like I was seeing it for the first time, feeling its solidity and being able to plunge into it and bathe myself in its symphony of sensations. All of this experience felt like the most natural thing, without the alien feelings common to many PEA's, without the burnout I get from LSD and without any body load whatsoever.
And further experiences have reinforced this conclusion. What I got out of them depended on how successful I was in 'letting go'.
Beyond this range of variation though, I've also encountered differences between substances. 4-AcO-DMT felt like a fuzzy warm blanket over my brain, buffering me against bad trips but also leaving me incapable of clear thought and deep exploration. I felt sedated, more comfortable in a way than on 4-HO-MiPT but without the energy and crystal clarity of the latter. The visuals were vivid but also somewhat blurred and less realistic. 4-AcO-MiPT seemed similar but a bit less emotionally deep.
4-HO-MiPT though is my favorite drug and absolutely perfect for me. It offers everything I imagined when I first heard of psychedelic drugs and a lot more. And it has no body load, come-down or negative after-effects whatsoever, it feels like the most natural and healthiest drug I've tried next to DMT. If I let go the way I should, I get none of the fatigue or burnout that detracts from the otherwise almost-perfect LSD.