Powerlifting is so awesome though, idk if that's what you did today, but it's really just so fun. I took some lessons with this competitive powerlifting coach like 2 years ago and that was so fun. It was only like 4 hours a week but the rotations were super long like, months and years. Coach has got it down to a science!!
I don't do his power lifting routine though since I'm not a power lifter, but it was really inspiring for lifting in general to have that sort of a training experience!
I can share. I squatted today ending at 265lbs (I weigh 140lbs roughly), did some dragon and pistol squats, did maybe 120 total pushups, did several sets of a compound flow (deadlift>RDL>bent over row>snatch>front squat>back squat>push press>strict press) at 95lbs, then military pressed followed by some slow muscle ups, handstand work and helping my friend relieve a knee injury.
I got into powerlifting because of mental health. I need to give myself more credit.
Consistency in an ever changing reality is a struggle. for sure.
Especially with endogenous barriers in the way.
What do you mean by self-realization? What a trippy topic xD
I'm very self-aware, I'm not self-realized. It's hard for me to give myself credit. It's hard for me to see very much positivity or benefit in myself. It's hard for me to honestly say what my strengths are and mean it (aside from incisive, I can admit I'm incisive). It's hard for me to put myself first. Here's an example, that's meant as just an example: When I posted that screenshot about the effects of depression on the brain, I wasn't really trying to have a conversation about myself (even though I mentioned feeling like I'm getting dumber, that was mainly supposed to be dark humor for everyone else, because I know most of you don't see what I'm seeing in my experience of feeling like I'm getting dumber), and after you responded, I didn't want to respond to what you said. So why did I then? Because I felt like it would've been rude and inconsiderate to not respond since you took the time to be caring and attempt to help me in the best you knew you could. So while I didn't want to talk, I didn't want you efforts to be in vain, and here we are. That is to say, I was thinking about you and considering you more than myself in this instance. It's happened twice today already. I have a degree from a prestigious university that I didn't try hard to get. I should feel good about that. I find accessing such hard. I'm a psychedelic guide at a center without jumping through as many hoops, but that still has yet to hit me (I feel like I've mentioned that one before).
There is a chasm between myself and myself in that it's hard to align with myself.
It's usually how it is. I trust in how your soul is reacting to the world. I place truth in your perception of it. Your body is beautiful and true. It's highly responsive to the world, and most sicknesses are afflictions from the outside, not innate to how you were born, which even then, depends on how your mother carried you etc etc. For instance if you have PTSD, it is a natural reaction to something 'bad'. Having PTSD can make you less functional in our civilized machinery of a lifestyle, but having PTSD in the first place is a natural, appropriate, and necessary reaction. You feel depressed, but it's not some defect of your brain.
Thank you for your understanding in this regard. I meant more my internal reward system for the things that I do. I can dealift 405lbs whenever I want, and while other people are impressed with it, I'm not, though I'd be impressed with any other person my size that could do the same...
And I don't
feel depressed. I
experience depression. It's something that happens to me. We're not talking about the emotion. Everyone gets depressed from time to time, not everyone deals with depression.
And how natural is it if not a majority of people develop PTSD from the same type of traumatic event? Just curious of your thoughts.
I'm also learning to relate to lots of difficult emotions, and I feel like sometimes the most difficult ones, require some of the deepest responses. If we are given difficult challenges early in life when we are children, then it would seem like it makes sense to me that we can carry those feelings with us for a long time because you wouldn't always expect a child to be able to respond so deeply to a part of reality.
I hear you here, and I may be showing a bit of trauma denial, but while I was abused and scared a lot growing up, it could've been worse and in moments like the present one it's hard for me to think it was that bad... I could be wrong.
But still, it is the practice of - doing easily. So, for whatever obstacle, no matter how difficult, we can look for or at least be open to any potentially easier/effortless avenues that make themselves known.
Having needed to do a lot of things the hard way because I've had to rely on myself, finding the "easy" sometimes feels wrong.
I get where you are coming from here. It sounds to me like you have had to more or less take everything into your own hands, when it comes to these emotions, if your experience was anything like mine!
Yes, I often don't feel heard or understood, which leads to frustration and frustration doesn't help me focus on the things I need to to heal more, so I try to just fix it my damn self.
And it's more about a state. The state is the crucible for the emotions.
One love
