Can you control and remember your DMT experiences?

[gibran2]

how do you remember that you won't remember?

no, but in all seriousness, i have experienced this as well..

but i have had the reverse experience as well: where you feel you won't forget this information, and you cannot fathom being able to continue everyday life with this knowledge (thankfully you always seem to forget again)

The thoughts I have during such experiences are easily remembered. I can remember my thoughts – my “internal monologue” – as clearly as I can during everyday experiences.

It’s my perceptions – and only certain kinds of perceptions – that can’t be brought back.

I have enough experience with this phenomenon to usually tell right away if what I’m perceiving can be brought back or not. There is a “quality” of perception in these realms that is immediately discernable, and if that quality is present, the perceptions are not translatable and will not be remembered. I can’t say what that quality is, because that’s part of what can’t be brought back.

There are other experiences where it is made very clear to me, either implicitly or sometimes very explicitly, that it simply isn’t permitted to bring back certain aspects of the experience. That’s part of the deal. That’s the agreement I make.

 

[Global]

how do you remember that you won't remember?

no, but in all seriousness, i have experienced this as well..

but i have had the reverse experience as well: where you feel you won't forget this information, and you cannot fathom being able to continue everyday life with this knowledge (thankfully you always seem to forget again)

The thoughts I have during such experiences are easily remembered. I can remember my thoughts – my “internal monologue” – as clearly as I can during everyday experiences.

It’s my perceptions – and only certain kinds of perceptions – that can’t be brought back.

I have enough experience with this phenomenon to usually tell right away if what I’m perceiving can be brought back or not. There is a “quality” of perception in these realms that is immediately discernable, and if that quality is present, the perceptions are not translatable and will not be remembered. I can’t say what that quality is, because that’s part of what can’t be brought back.

There are other experiences where it is made very clear to me, either implicitly or sometimes very explicitly, that it simply isn’t permitted to bring back certain aspects of the experience. That’s part of the deal. That’s the agreement I make.

I'm 100% on the same page with you on that one. I can also tell when something is a bit too sacred or significant or indescribable to be brought back, and so I revel in the moment.

 

[Amy S]

A couple of thoughts about these questions:

Control

A desire to control an experience – any experience, not just with DMT – implies a desire to change the experience.

A desire to change an experience implies that one wants or needs something other than what one is getting.

For me, it’s not about control. It’s about participation.

I'm not so sure this describes controlling as I see it. For me, and how I experience it, is more in the way of lucid dreams. All my dreams seem to be lucid, and I control them, but the control is more of a subconscious, distracted or distant thing for me. It's more perhaps like a chess game, where I move the pieces around. I still conform to the rules of the game, and I'm still a player, and I don't make any new pieces, I just guide the process and react. Maybe I'm only one colour, and the dream is the other colour. It's difficult to explain. Perhaps not the best analogy. But I feel as though it isn't such a dominating or mutating thing as you suggest to control a trip. If it even is control, and not just illusion of control.

 

[Global]

A couple of thoughts about these questions:

Control

A desire to control an experience – any experience, not just with DMT – implies a desire to change the experience.

A desire to change an experience implies that one wants or needs something other than what one is getting.

For me, it’s not about control. It’s about participation.

I'm not so sure this describes controlling as I see it. For me, and how I experience it, is more in the way of lucid dreams. All my dreams seem to be lucid, and I control them, but the control is more of a subconscious, distracted or distant thing for me. It's more perhaps like a chess game, where I move the pieces around. I still conform to the rules of the game, and I'm still a player, and I don't make any new pieces, I just guide the process and react. Maybe I'm only one colour, and the dream is the other colour. It's difficult to explain. Perhaps not the best analogy. But I feel as though it isn't such a dominating or mutating thing as you suggest to control a trip. If it even is control, and not just illusion of control.

Considering that the "mechanics of control" of a lucid dream are far different than that of a DMT breakthrough (and that they might have ontologically little to do with each other), I think gibran's statement can be accurate for some cases. If you're trying to impose control over the trip, perhaps the first thing to do is look inward to ask yourself, "why?"

"Control" is a very ego-driven concept it should seem which runs a bit antithetically to the common DMT experience/message IMO.

 

[wiglo]

The more I read what is being said in this thread, the more I have to think about the word "controlling" that I used to start it. Is it really "controlling" or just being hyper aware of what's going on around you? When being hyper aware of your experience, it may "seem" as though you may have a level of control.

I suppose most of my control comes from being able to really pick up and bring back details to waking reality. I immediately realize entering hyperspace. It hasn't really been all that different in my experiences. It always follows a specific path, regardless of how deep I have been. The initial onion layering of hyperspace, the unfolding of realities as you go deeper until you "land" in the place where you are then "static," where there is seemingly no more depth to go into, is very apparent to me.

There have been at least four separate experiences where I ended up in the same place with the same entities. I recognized them immediately each time. They looked a slightly different each time, but they were who they were to me from my previous engagements. Thematically, they were the same. By thematically, I mean that these entities shared identical purposes across my visits to hyperspace regardless of how their appearances manifested. Those manifestations always carried themes that were distinguishable and recognizable to each entity. Many times they appeared in the same space. This space may have also been altered slightly but it was still the "same" place. I equate it to seeing a friend you haven't seen in years who may look very different but is the same person in essence.

The control comes in with the ability to focus on certain aspects while others that are unfocused still remain viable and in a "paused" existence UNTIL your focus is set on the aspects that "wait" for your attention. The control also comes in with the understanding of what is being communicated, the internal monologues with which "they" communicate through and what is being manifested around me. The control comes from taking all these pieces, coming to a perceptive understanding and then being able to navigate through that understanding and manifest questions and answers. Sometimes the questions lead to the opening up of a new unfolding of hyperspace to another and the process starts again.

At least that's my interpretation of what I go through each time I've been through the experiences that came only after my first Ayahuasca brew. Before then, my experiences were all extremely chaotic, terrorizing and ego blasting. Ayahuasca tore my ego apart and rebuilt me with a knowledge that took me years to understand and integrate into my waking reality. It was one of the darkest times in my life. The profound aspects of the brew was too much for my to handle because my previous belief systems were crushed in a single night and replaced by something else that made a lot more sense to me. In end, I came to terms with what had transpired, not only from the beginning of me but to the moment where I wholeheartedly accepted that what I was taught to believe was probably just some big misunderstanding, though absolutely necessary for my development as a human being.

This understanding has led me to question everything, which is probably why I always ask questions when I go under. Most times I get answers, sometimes I don't. THC is commonly in my system, but I still have lucid and vivid dreams. I still remember extraordinary details of my experiences, to the point where my goal is to recreate one digitally. It may take me years, but I will find a way and show it here. There are times where I smoke right before I go under. In my first dozen or so experiences over a decade ago, I didn't touch THC at all. My experiences today are still of the quality before then.

Of course, physiologically we're different enough to experience THC and it's affect differently enough so I can never say much about how THC has ABC effect on me but XYZ on you. It is what it is and only you know best about how your body handles whatever you introduce to it.

In the end, I've learned a lot about myself, how my ego is necessary for outward facing experiences, where I want to go and the more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know. And that makes me very thirsty.