Demons

[Tomtegubbe]

The theme of dealing with dark entities is topic that quite often pops up in the discussions. My go to answer has been to pay as little attention to them as possible. It seems to me that these dark entities are mostly symbolic representations of your fears and sometimes it's useful to stare them down. If you are feeling something unpleasant, just focus on that feeling and see how your sensation changes.

However, there seems to be another layer that I haven't been paying attention very much. That is, the real demons, energies that latch onto your aura and make you feel miserable. Like something that is not part of your personality, but rather like a parasite that feeds on you. Very often there is a trauma behind these entities. You could also talk about this phenomenon without any supernatural terms, but they seem to take forms that have personality like qualities. In extreme cases you may get to see figures in dreams or sleep paralysis when you are spiritually and emotionally weak.

Up to this date I've been thinking that the right way to combat this is to stop feeding the demons (especially with booze) and fill your life with positive energy. But these beasts just do everything to prevent us from being well and doing the things that make us feel well, especially connecting with other people. It's like they knew they might lose our attention.

The big question, I have not dared to really think before this day is: do we have hope of killing these parasites or is it just that we need to keep starving them and keep watch?

No amount of exorcism will replace the healing work you need to do with the scarred parts of your personality, the little kids that were wounded somewhere on the path. It's just that very often these personalities that whisper to your ear that you are worthless prevent you from giving the love and support for the crying child in the corner.

These thoughts were inspired in part by very recent anime Ranking of Kings which I dearly recommend. In that anime the answer was love and forgiveness, but it took also lot of fighting.

Any thoughts appreciated!

 

[Jungleheart]

My method has been to be nice to them, because I believe they are suffering. But someone on here mentioned it's a sign that you're not on the ideal path and I agree. To me, it means you need to course correct. Sometimes this involves making massive changes in direction in your life. In this way, their efforts are in alignment with what's best for the earth.

 

[Voidmatrix]

The big question, I have not dared to really think before this day is: do we have hope of killing these parasites or is it just that we need to keep starving them and keep watch?

I think it's something that is an ongoing process, like learning how to manage and navigate around obstacles in our lives and unsavory people. We can't control what happens to us more often than not, only our response to it. Negative people come and go and effect us in different ways. I think the same can be said for not preferred entities.

I don't go far often, but tend to come into contact with some beings that some may identify as "evil." I put evil in quotes because I take the position that hyperspace defies and transcends many of our normal binary paradigms like good/bad. I tend to approach them with skepticism (like most things in that space), I avoid judging them, and I may interact with them, but give them nothing otherwise. I approach them when they approach me with understanding and willpower. I feel that these techniques have helped me not have a "bad" experience with them and also drastically limits their impacts on me and my thinking.

You're strong Tomtegubbe, more than you know. I have faith in you.

One love

 

[fink]

I believe we are all made up of roughly equal parts of darkness and light. The trick I am still trying to learn is to only project the light onto the world around me. Due to this I believe that the darkness is something that I must learn to swallow and only project inwardly onto myself.

Don't get me wrong, I am not talking about repressing anything at all. It is a different style of energy.

Newton told us that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. I have long believed that also applies to emotional forces.

To me it is clear that the world we have created is suffering a huge imbalance of emotions. So many strive for their own permanent happiness at the cost of permanent misery elsewhere.

To be entirely made of light would condemn another to be entirely made of darkness by way of balance. In any case, first defeat those dark forces and then imprison them in your strongest places. What they want more than anything is for you to unleash them on others.

 

[MagicTrip]

What substances do you use or have you used before?

 

[Tomtegubbe]

Thank you people for your responses!

I just discussed this with my friend, who likened the phenomenon to a virus (biological or programmed) that enters a vulnerability in your system, enters it's own code and aims to spread. Whatever it wants is not in your best interests, which differentiates it from an underdeveloped personality mode. It may give you false comfort in legitimizing the thought of just giving up the strife. Too much striving may indeed waken it, but the solutions it offers won't get you where you want to be. You won't make it, so you might just as well get drunk and give up your dreams. That's what I did, but Ayahuasca helped me see through it.

Now that I've decided I won't give up, there's another demon, the one who tells me that if I make one mistake, no matter how trivial, I may lose everything I have got through hard work.

Both of these demons / mind viruses operate on a logic that seems reasonable, but on closer inspection it jumps to conclusions. But because it activates when something emotionally difficult arises, you are not at your best in debugging it. You want to get out of the situation quick.

I believe I need to change my strategy and proactively confront them. Filling up my life with nice things has helped me regain my own strength, but it seems that these folks just go into hiding and wake up when I'm weak. This is where arising your "darker" emotions like righteous wrath can be beneficial, even necessary. They work against submission. There is the right kind of protective masculinity in both genders that is not toxic and should be celebrated and accompanied with the nourishing and caretaking femininity. This is also the point where we need other people to compliment and empower our weak points.

Behind the demon there is often a genuine humane need, somebody wanting to be seen and treated well. Providing love and attention to them will weaken the demon, but at some point it may be necessary to take the beast by it horns, split it's guts open and see what it is made of.

In Tibetan Buddhism there are several depictions of wrathful Bodhisattvas. They display one aspect of the path to Enlightenment that is not just being nice to everyone including your bullies.

I've never seen these demons I'm talking about in visions and it's been very difficult to distinguish their voice from my own voice. That's why it felt somewhat shocking to realize that there's a foreign, viral, element in how they act and that is not under my conscious control. The ones who hide the best are the hardest to dispel, but now that I have got a bit better look at them, I do believe it's possible to put them out of their misery, although it might need several blows across different situations.

 

[Voidmatrix]

I think you're hitting on a lot of great points and strategies here, my friend.

Nothing is all good and nothing is all bad. Context dictates this. With that said, sometimes our more "negative" aspects can provide strength and growth. Sometimes we need to be powerful and assertive. Kindness and compassion aren't relegated to passivity (think about the term "tough love"). I think this also why we should be in touch with our "dark" sides, because while there's a negative connotation to these sides of us, they're neither good or bad, they're just facets and aspects to get to know, be aware of, and to be used when deemed prudent and/or beneficial.

Be in touch with your inner warrior. Be whole. Keep fighting the good fight. You're showing immense strength through your vulnerability in sharing. Thank you for that.

One love

 

[MagicTrip]

What substances do you use?

 

[Tomtegubbe]

What substances do you use?

Currently none besides Ayahuasca, save for some occasional cannabis use. I used to have a passion for all beverages alcoholic, but I have drank the bottle to the bottom and seen everything it has to offer. With cessation of drinking ceased the urge to smoke.

What do you think about the link?

 

[Tomtegubbe]

A little update. Last weekend we took a relatively low dose of mushrooms with a friend. We turned the music off and sitting still was very difficult to me. Then I realized that this restlessness and obsession to seek distraction is what keeps the demon alive and well. I forced myself to sit and breath and I felt that with every inhalation and exhalation I was giving blows to the demon and strengthening my own spirit. It seems I was quite successful, because those self-deprecating thoughts haven't manifested now. I don't believe though, that this was the last battle, but I have the upper hand and know what to do when it's about to emerge next time.

However, behind this demon was another demon of excessive worry and anxiety. It's more subtle, as it directs attention to things that legitimately are worth of some attention. This week I took a low dose ayatrip and was able to enter an extremely peaceful and serene state of mind through meditation and all my worries seemed distant. I purposefully invited my worrying self in to that space and had an image of my anxiety as a big piece of shrapnel on the left side of my chest. I tried giving it love and warmth but couldn't hold to this image long enough for it to transform. I also made the decision to just do the things the anxiety tries to make me put off and procrastinate, which in turn strengthens it. I believe I need to scavenge the dungeon and gather more ammo and gear before I can bring this beast down, but I'm already progressing. Everytime I sit on my meditation bench and invoke the deep peace and relaxation I had couple of days back I feel like I'm doing exactly the right thing.

So, yes, these demons are worth fighting with.

Getting rid of the self-destructive demon that manifested itself as alcohol abuse was the first step. It did a good job in keeping the others out of sight. That alone gives me motivation for this fight. Now that the new guys are visible, it's possible to fight them.

 

[Voidmatrix]

Congratulations on so much progress my friend. Stay aware and keep up the good fight. It's refreshing to vicariously experience this with you. Thank you for updating us.

One love

 

[Quetzal7]

I like the balance and wisdom of this thread
Thanks for sharing !

May i share some experience here ?
I never really adopted a paradigm where the entities , demons or other, are independent beings, somehow similar to us but not material. I think it's a little more complex. It does seem, and this join the general point of view here, that if they exist, they aren't really bound to physical space ; so they are litterally all around us all the time ; what makes them "enter" us, and interact with our inner world, is our resonance with them. So yes, trauma, destructive habits will resonate with these form of energies, that will then manifest within us.

To perceive these energies as "outside" of us can work for a bit, for some people - and help taking drastic action to exorcice them. But as a general pattern, i see that people adopting these view can enter in negative loops of never-ending healing, always looking for a solution for something "outside" of them. It's a slippery slope. One can easily forget that, ULTIMATELY, HE is in charge - no substance, no demon, nobody has power over our own agency.

YET ! Something strange happened to my daughter that i can't explain that easily. At a ayahuasca ceremony, she went to sleep before we started the group session. Everybody got saged - but not the kids. After the 3rd serving, lots of people were purging. She woke up, as it sometimes happen during the night ; but then she wasn't in a normal state; and she started to scream in absolute terror, she was fighting for her life ; to the point of total convulsion - there was "something" in her stomach. It was absolute madness and intense. Me and the mom braught her to a quiet room. the shaman was an absolute dumbass and totally useless. It lasted until, finally, i got hold on some palo santo, and we clear it out.
But wait ! it happened 2 more times ! at mushroom ceremonies, this time at home. It was less intese, but yet terrifying. These other time, when i arrive with the palo santo, she screamed and battle physically , like if "the demon" inside of her was utterly upset seing the smoke coming.
INTERESTING FACT : the 3 only times it happened, it was in the presence of a friend of ours, that the year after happened to spiral down, possessed by demon, until he "saved" himself by becoming a radical christian.
We speaking about a healthy child, that got attacked in her sleep...

Plot twist :
After this ayahuasca ceremony - she was 4 years old - i had a talk with her. She told me a Monster came to her ; but it wasn't a black monster, he was blue. And he was scared, because everybody wanted to kill him and had no friends. So he came to her and offer her some cookie; and she was in terrible despair that the people in the room (the participant of the ayahuasca session) would kill him.
I feel this is typical from the christian/ayahuasca paradigm (yes, they are heavily linked... ayahuasca circle are soaked in christianity for 5 centuries) , where there's some evil that need to be purged and removed, something wrong with us.
I personnally take another path, the path of transmutation... and since i'm on that path i never met demons (but i also always used some clearing of the space; it's the only ritual rule i have).

 

[Tomtegubbe]

I guess I should give a little update.

One thing I want to clarify is that the demons I'm talking about here are not the same as the so called dark force entities. You can usually just ignore them when they come in horns blazing.

These demons I talked about are the ones that are born out of the suffering and misery we have experienced in life. Unhealthy coping mechanisms, thought cycles that give false comfort, but make us more miserable in the end.

Driving them out completely seems like a saintly task, but I believe their power can be lessened a great deal. There are methods that are more direct and methods that are more indirect and supportive. These indirect methods include living a healthy, balanced life, where you seek and attract positive encounters and habits. However, there will be moments and phases of life, where you are more weak and have less trust in yourself. Then these demons speak up. They fill your mind with bad thoughts about yourself, other people, your life, life in general. That's where the more direct methods come into play.

Through meditation you can learn to take distance from your thoughts. You can become more aware when a thought arises whether it is a good thought or not. You have two options there. It's possible to become very good at ignoring these thoughts and starving them, but it's also possible to learn to confront the thoughts. Both skills can be useful.

If you choose to confront these thoughts, it's important to recognize them for what they are: unwholesome, circular, illogical. In order to be able to pause and analyze their logic, you must be able to endure the difficult feelings associated with the thoughts. "Okay. Let's stop for a while. What is going on here? Why am I feeling like this? Why am I reacting like this?" Very often we blame ourselves, our parents, our (ex)-partners for our miseries. We seek easy answers. Acknowledging that the situations and emotions are complicated can add to the uneasiness we avoid. I believe however that the key lies here. Seeing things as they are. Complicated, unsatisfactory, but also impersonal and impermanent.

Both compassion and toughness can help in dealing with these energies. Toughness and steadfastness in not taking the shit, not being scared of the bad emotions, not letting them have the final say, but also compassion in listening to our true needs, to our wounds and losses and weaknesses. The less shame we have for ourselves, the fewer masks and places to hide these demons have.

In the end, I like to think that we are fighting for their liberation too. They suffer too. If we can resolve our issues, they can be released from their bodies that consist of negative karmic nets.

All this could be said in conventional psychological and psychotherapeutic terms, but I hope there is some use in framing things like this. That's what psychedelics seem to do at least.

Lastly, finding someone you can share your struggles with, be it a professional helper or a friend with wisdom and life experience is golden.

 

[Voidmatrix]

Good to hear, brother! Thanks for sharing more of your experience and thoughts based on your experience.

I get a strong sense of balance here. Balance in how we approach these issues (ignoring them/confronting them), balance in type of approach (compassionate/tough), balance in how much the work is done (when to engage/when to take a break), etc. We can often focus too much on one end of a given spectrum of many things and must remind ourselves to come back to center.

Wonderful message. Beautiful to hear you're progressing.

One love

P.S. I shared this in the other thread only because I thought it would help the OP parse some things and concepts for themselves