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Do you regret opening Pandora's box?

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Entheojen

Rising Star
Hi everyone,

Some trip reports and posts I have read more recently have had me thinking, what if I open Pandora's Box and perhaps later regret it? Is it easy enough to set down the pipe after one experience which opens the doors to something so different?

Do any of you feel that you are continuing down a path out of curiosity and mystery, but perhaps wish you never indulged in the first place?
Have you decided to stop using DMT after a particular experience?

Off the top of my head I can only really think of one person on the Nexus that has made this decision, for their own reasons.

Obviously the Nexus is going to be populated with those who continue to explore the rabbit hole, but perhaps some of you know of others for whom DMT was not something they wished to continue with. How are they coping after their experience(s)?

I am very drawn to this molecule, but I am still in the position to make a choice and would like to read your thoughts in this thread.

Thanks :)
 
umm.... i would never change it......you gain too much.. you are shown so much... and therefor learn so much.. there's so much love... do you know how endless love is??... it's forever...

now swim has had some crazy intense experiences before..dosing wayyyy too much sorta thing.....but swim wouldn't take them back, took away too much..everything that swim is given, swim is sooo thankful for...there is a reason it is called the "light"...

i can tell you this...at this point there's no turning back for me...a lot of the time integration with the "world" is kinda hard but hey i am love so everything is beautiful.. ..but it's not like all of humanity isn't meant to become one.....it's kind of like inevitable.. so who's worried about integrating with the "world" for a few years... being at one with the universe and aligned with the planet... wayyyyyy more important...

just how i feel


do you work with other entheogens? do you work with spirituality/energy/meditation?
 
I don't regret anything, truly - although Endlessness was talking in a recent thread about the loss of existential innocence - and this is something I can certainly relate to. There's a fuck of a lot inside this box; it's not something to casually open. There's just so much impossibility and madness in there to absorb, to wrap your head around afterwards and then go on about your business. It is a contract. Don't kid yourself. The experience will change you. One time is enough to shake up your world, if technique and dosage are right.

My experience has been very similar to a lot of people's, I think: I did it a lot initially and now considerably less. It's just not a substance that lends itself (in my experience anyway) to sustained periods of breakthrough usage without exacting a toll - although much of this is determined by one's individual set and setting. The implications are too overwhelming; it's just too much of everything. Because of this, I feel that my time of active use may well be drawing to a close. My relationship with it and the experience, however, I expect will always be with me.
 
Early on, I had a curiosity that lead me to continually ask “how deep does this go?” I think my more frequent use in the early days was motivated somewhat (maybe even more than somewhat) by this curiosity. It’s natural, when frequently an experience exceeds previous ones in “spiritual depth”, to wonder how far this can go.

Eventually I had an experience that put that curiosity to rest. What I learned is that DMT can take me further than I am able to go. How deep does this go? In effect, there is no limit to how deep it goes. Question answered. Curiosity satisfied.

About 7 months ago, I had a very difficult experience. Oddly enough, after the experience was over I felt calm and at peace – I didn’t remember the details of the traumatic parts (and still don’t). But it must have deeply affected me at some level – I haven’t had a breakthrough since. I intend to work toward a breakthrough, but I really need to understand better why I’m doing this before I go deep again (I continue to have occasional sub-breakthrough experiences, but I’ve always found these unsatisfying.)

Oh, … To answer your question: No, I don’t regret opening Pandora’s Box. I wouldn’t change a thing.
 
I find vaped DMT can only take me so far until I am unable to bring anything back as the experience gets too intense.

I have however accidentally discovered the depth of the oral DMT experience which has taught me a respect like no other. I will one day work up the courage to jump deeper than I have before, but until then I'm pretty much learning to walk again.
 
gibran2 said:
Eventually I had an experience that put that curiosity to rest. What I learned is that DMT can take me further than I am able to go. How deep does this go? In effect, there is no limit to how deep it goes. Question answered. Curiosity satisfied.

About 7 months ago, I had a very difficult experience. Oddly enough, after the experience was over I felt calm and at peace – I didn’t remember the details of the traumatic parts (and still don’t). But it must have deeply affected me at some level – I haven’t had a breakthrough since. I intend to work toward a breakthrough, but I really need to understand better why I’m doing this before I go deep again (I continue to have occasional sub-breakthrough experiences, but I’ve always found these unsatisfying.)

Oh, … To answer your question: No, I don’t regret opening Pandora’s Box. I wouldn’t change a thing.
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I feel very much the same way as gibran. I have had quite a few breakthroughs through vaping dmt and changa, but my most recent pharma journey where i had done 220mg harmalas and 60mg dmt freebase in juice most definitely satisfied my curiousity and depth of interest.

When your being slammed with these visions for a good 4 hours straight and being able to experience the so-called "nonlocality" at certain points in the experience and realizing that it's not going to simmer down anytime soon...well...you start to really see "hyperspace" ( or whatever term you'd like to call it) for what it is. To me (and this is only my opinion or truth) this realm is as much a part of us as it is a part of everything else. Stanislav Grof put it really well for me (recently hearing his interpretation of the smoked experience) saying that possibly the "hyperspace" realm being "dharmakaya" or the raw grounds of existence that is soo suttle and only perceivable unless our mind is heavily tipped in that direction to percieve it (being that we are forever intettwined with it). After this last experience I dont think its "supernatural" or "otherwordly" in any way but very natural and has been here since the beginning...but who knows....this is just speculation.

Enough of the above rant though. My last experience Report Here has humbled me to the fullest and certainly satisfied my appetite. Since then though allll my changa experiences have been sub breakthrough just like gibrans. I've even dosing pre sublingual harmalas before smoking changa to even furhter the experience but it hasnt seemed to push me any further.......what has happened?

I think dmt will always be a part of my life in some way, shape, or form even if I were to never journey again..the reminder that I had that night with pharma hit it home and i've been ever sooooo satified since. :)
 
DMTtripn2Space said:
...Enough of the above rant though. My last experience Report Here has humbled me to the fullest and certainly satisfied my appetite. Since then though allll my changa experiences have been sub breakthrough just like gibrans. I've even dosing pre sublingual harmalas before smoking changa to even furhter the experience but it hasnt seemed to push me any further.......what has happened?

I think dmt will always be a part of my life in some way, shape, or form even if I were to never journey again..the reminder that I had that night with pharma hit it home and i've been ever sooooo satified since. :)
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It sounds like you’ve attempted to break through since, but haven’t been able. In my case, I have chosen not to break through – I’ve kept my doses below my minimum “breakthrough threshold”. I’m quite sure that when I choose to take a breakthrough dose again, I’ll break through.
 
Uncle Knucles said:
I don't regret anything, truly - although Endlessness was talking in a recent thread about the loss of existential innocence
Click to expand...

I would say spice has provided a loss of existential ignorance, not innocence. In fact, I usually find that I connect with the most innocent and pure realms with spice.

I am thankful for spice. No regret.
 
I think Pandoras box can be opened with hefty doses of LSD/psilocybin/mescaline as these too provide experiences which will leave you permanently changed.Its more a question of degrees; with DMT taken at the right dose you dont just open the box-you dive in and whether or not you come to regret it depends on whether or not you sink like a stone or ride the crest of the limitless ocean within.

My only regret is NOT coming across DMT when I would have been much more inclined to have a prolonged oral experience...........but having said this,I am beginning to consider this route quite strongly.
 
It has occurred to me several times in the past if I would be better of living my life like the average Joe ignorant of the fact of other realities and dimensions. But it only takes me a fraction of a second to realize this is who I am and what I want. I can not resist my thirst for truth and knowledge about these realms. I don't want to live life in ignorance. I find it a waste of time. Waste of life.
 
Apoc said:
Uncle Knucles said:
I don't regret anything, truly - although Endlessness was talking in a recent thread about the loss of existential innocence
Click to expand...

I would say spice has provided a loss of existential ignorance, not innocence. In fact, I usually find that I connect with the most innocent and pure realms with spice.

I am thankful for spice. No regret.
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The same.

Not just through DMT, but all psychedelics in general. The new me has definately found it harder to make new attachments, however the ones that I already had couldn't be as profound without it.
 
godling said:
do you work with other entheogens? do you work with spirituality/energy/meditation?
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No I don't as yet but would like to. I had an attempt with San Pedro resin with no effects. I practice yoga and to a degree, meditation. I really do need to make a point of setting aside more time for these activities.

soulfood said:
Not just through DMT, but all psychedelics in general. The new me has definately found it harder to make new attachments, however the ones that I already had couldn't be as profound without it.
Click to expand...

What do you mean by new attachments? Like new relationships or passions?

Thanks for all your replies so far. Very interesting reading as always.
 
Entheojen: Eat more resin next time and don't use as much heat in the process and you will have a glorious time...also definitely go with a different cactus, maybe the one you sourced from is just low in alkaloid content.

As for regrets?? Hell nah...
Cosmic/divine/whatever-you-want-to-call-it Awareness in every moment is one of my favorite things.
 
Entheojen said:
What do you mean by new attachments? Like new relationships or passions?
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Just relationships really. Passions are infinite and when I'm on form, I'm one with every component of every moment.

I find a lot of peoples concerns quite trivial. Not like I tell them that, but to actually 100% be with someone on their point of view is a very uncommon occurence. I guess I have a very different value system compared to most people.

It's not through any form of elitism either as I'm very curious of all people from all walks of life and I definately have a much wider variation in my acqaintences as I love stepping out of my comfort zones.

I suppose a good example of being misunderstood for having "radical values" and a weird sense of humour (well I always had a weird sense of humour :) ) , I often find people laugh more when I'm trying to make a serious point than they laugh when I'm actually trying to be funny. But very often an avoding the point kind of laugh, rather than a comedically tickled kind.

I suppose there's a few people who I've met recently who do have the potential to become good friends. Being a very patient person I'm willing to spend the time trying to get folk to see my way of thinking before I declare them as dicks, although I recognise a lot of behaviours in them from the way I used to be. For example, I used to be a bit of a know-it-all. The new me realises that if I really want to know it all, then I must come across as ignorant, as in order to know it all I have to question everything. Questions are much better for conversation too!

I also notice in a lot of people that they believe their own experiences are more worth while than others, like they can't emote properly or something. It seems that people think they're grown ups as soon as they get pubes and label themselves as such and then see no need to develop further in a mental sense, like some snotty teen who yells at their mother (who of course knows best).

I guess the world wants to talk trash, whereas I want the world to be it's own therapist. I analyze folk very deeply and I'm very open in return, but rather than seeing their own problems as the keys to unlock the gates of true happiness, they just see their problems as... problems!
 
No regrets at all, eternally grateful for it, but I cant say that all people will be the same, I can only speak for myself.

Apoc, I understand what you mean but think about it: ignorance would mean you didnt know something that now you know. But do you really know something more now?

Personally, I dont think I know something more existentially now. In fact, it has put more questions in my mind than answers. But I can say that my innocence of thinking existence was clear-cut and that my beliefs made any sense has dissapeared, and been replaced with a huge question mark.

But im so glad for it. It gives an extra shine to every day life, because I feel there's something more to everything, hidden dimensions behind every manifestation, the inner joke. Allows me to not get so trapped in my suffering and to not be forgetful of everything else when im feeling good.
 
endlessness said:
Apoc, I understand what you mean but think about it: ignorance would mean you didnt know something that now you know. But do you really know something more now?
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Does knowing I don't know anything count as knowing?

endlessness said:
But I can say that my innocence of thinking existence was clear-cut and that my beliefs made any sense has dissapeared, and been replaced with a huge question mark.
Click to expand...

Oh, I see. I relate.
 
soulfood said:
Entheojen said:
What do you mean by new attachments? Like new relationships or passions?
Click to expand...

Just relationships really. Passions are infinite and when I'm on form, I'm one with every component of every moment.

I find a lot of peoples concerns quite trivial. Not like I tell them that, but to actually 100% be with someone on their point of view is a very uncommon occurence. I guess I have a very different value system compared to most people.

It's not through any form of elitism either as I'm very curious of all people from all walks of life and I definately have a much wider variation in my acqaintences as I love stepping out of my comfort zones.
Click to expand...

i feel ya soulfood...

i'll sit there and listen to what you have to say to see if it's worth thinking/talking about, but i seriously doubt i'll see eye to eye with you if we take this one thought far enough. i like to go deep with my thought and you're bound to disagree after enough thought.

and like you, it's not eliteism. i just feel so content with myself that i don't need to reach out to someone to bound or agree.

this all came about after a couple of powerful lsd experiences. and it's not even apathy. i'm a very vibrant person, i just don't put much stock in things out side of myself. i'm very introverted and completely happy. i'm the guy who always has a joke and a smile. i can be the nicest guy around. but in the end, i don't care who likes me. i don't even know that i care if anyone likes me. so i don't really go out of my way to bound with most humans. i'm polite but distant and i'm ok with people thinking i'm shut off. those who know me know i'm not. and i can form connections with humans but it's rare. i love the way i am but some may not feel so great about it.

in "society's" eye, yes, there are a lot of drawbacks. it will make you question your existance. question why you're married (if you are). question everything about your life. it can cause some very abrupt changes in lifestyle/behavoir that would seem unappealing to someone who wasn't that way.

i no longer like to go out. i go to work. the store. and a couple of close friend's houses. and i love to be alone. like i really like to be alone. i'm very happy when i'm alone. i need friends (don't get me wrong) and have plenty of them that i have regular contact with. social interaction is still necessary (i'm not a robot) but it's not of importance to me like it once was. i can go to work and be alone for an entire week and not even want to do anything or see anyone. just work and retreat to my den. some would see that as a huge drawback. i see it as peace. few external distractions.

now this is just my path. it isn't unheard of but it's not the path you will take. there are an infinte amount of paths you can take and changes they will make. i have a feeling, though, that whatever path you find yourself on, you will never look back unless it's to remind yourself to keep pushing forward.

you've already got the questions...go find the answers... :twisted:
 
Regret is a waste of time, it's living in the past and serves no purpose as far as I can tell...Everything one has done from birth to present has molded them into the person they are. I really didnt know just how much spice was going to change me but it has all been positive and one of the best experiences of my life. I dont believe stumbling through life blissfully ignorant was my path. I enjoy the challenges DMT throws at me as it has opened up WAY more questions than answers...BE....Here...Now....Yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come...

Much Love and Respect
Aetherbound
 
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