Facing my fears

[Dream2Awaken]

Today I did what I have feared doing for a long time. I forced myself to face my own reflection while on a massive trip. I was finally able to look deep into my own eyes and not be afraid. This may not seem like much to some people, but for myself it was one of the hardest things I've done. For a long time I feared looking into the mirror and seeing someone that was not myself. Finally I can say I have faced that fear!

 

[northern explorer]

Would you elaborate on that? How it all took place?
(no experiences had to this date)

 

[Dream2Awaken]

With pleasure. I started outside and took 2 big rips. I held each in as long as possible and then proceeded inside. EVERYTHING was part of a hallucination. Myself included. I went into my bathroom to go pee and decided today was the day I'd actually do it. I looked into the mirror and looked at myself briefly. Watching how each part of me looked different. I then looked down, took a deep breathe and looked back up into the glass. I pressed myself as close as possible to it and looked into my eyes. At the time they looked less like they were in my head, and more like they were 3D. I stared deep into them only for 5 seconds roughly, but that 5 seconds meant everything to me. I had long feared facing my reflection because I feared that if eyes were truly the window to the soul. Then what was I going to see? Was I going to see a good man standing before the glass or some monster. Today I finally confirmed (to myself) that I was indeed a good person. Instantly I was filled with bliss and I exited the bathroom and went about enjoying the hallucinations. It was by far one of the best Dreams I have had. I finally realized I had nothing to fear at all, and I had known it all along. I would suggest it for anybody that feels they may be ready as it was a moment I will remember for the rest of my life.

 

[great_blue]

that sounds really intense.. good for you :d

 

[Ice House]

I started outside and took 2 big rips. I held each in as long as possible and then proceeded inside. EVERYTHING was part of a hallucination. Myself included. I went into my bathroom to go pee and decided today was the day I'd actually do it. I looked into the mirror and looked at myself briefly. Watching how each part of me looked different. I then looked down, took a deep breathe and looked back up into the glass. I pressed myself as close as possible to it and looked into my eyes. At the time they looked less like they were in my head, and more like they were 3D. I stared deep into them only for 5 seconds roughly, but that 5 seconds meant everything to me.

I was wondering what you took two big rips of?

If it was DMT you took two big rips of, how do you manage to walk around and do things while your tripping?

When I take twobig rips of DMT, thats it! I am done. I am off in hyperspace. I cant walk or pee or look in the mirror. lol

Interesting.

ih

 

[Dream2Awaken]

Yeah it was DMT. I'm not entirely sure why I retain complete mortar function while tripping. It's not unique to just me. Some others that I sit for are slowly learning to do it as well. I didn't when I first started, but it's gotten to a point where even over 50+ mg. I can walk, talk (coherently), and do basically anything I can normally do. I sent an email 2 weeks ago to Strassman asking if any of the people they studied smoking it could do the same, and he said a decent amount retained at least minor mortar function on high doses. I would suggest if you're interested. To learn to walk around even when deep tripping. Start slowly and just get the feel for it at first. It has led to many new experiences I wouldn't have had otherwise, but I also feel like it may cut the length of the trip down. Not to drastically but some. If you do try it you will have to let me know how it goes.

 

[۩]

^Opticuswrangler spins a bowstaff on top of a mountain for example...

 

[ewok]

Yeah it was DMT. I'm not entirely sure why I retain complete mortar function while tripping. It's not unique to just me. Some others that I sit for are slowly learning to do it as well. I didn't when I first started, but it's gotten to a point where even over 50+ mg. I can walk, talk (coherently), and do basically anything I can normally do. I sent an email 2 weeks ago to Strassman asking if any of the people they studied smoking it could do the same, and he said a decent amount retained at least minor mortar function on high doses. I would suggest if you're interested. To learn to walk around even when deep tripping. Start slowly and just get the feel for it at first. It has led to many new experiences I wouldn't have had otherwise, but I also feel like it may cut the length of the trip down. Not to drastically but some. If you do try it you will have to let me know how it goes.

Your doing it wrong.

 

[Dream2Awaken]

Don't get me wrong though I do also do the eyes closed laying down trips, but I do enjoy the "awake", moving ones more. Mainly because I get to react more with my environment and experience more.

 

[Dream2Awaken]

I know how to do DMT. I didn't just jump into it like this. I know exactly how to do it "right". I just choose to do it in different ways rather then keep it the same every time. If you had had one of the eyes open, moving trips like I have. Then you honestly wouldn't be saying that. Cause you're wrong. There is no uniform correct way to do it. I can trip just as hard without closing my eyes and laying or sitting down.

 

[Dream2Awaken]

You could argue just as hard that your way is correct just as much as I can that my way is. Any point you can use. I could counter with something. I would suggest first trying it before assuming I don't know how to do something I've done almost every day for months, and researched for over 2 years beforehand.

 

[ewok]

I know how to do DMT. I didn't just jump into it like this. I know exactly how to do it "right". I just choose to do it in different ways rather then keep it the same every time. If you had had one of the eyes open, moving trips like I have. Then you honestly wouldn't be saying that. Cause you're wrong. There is no uniform correct way to do it. I can trip just as hard without closing my eyes and laying or sitting down.

I can't do that on 20mg so no chance of me being able to do it on 50mg+. If you can your a unique individual in the way dmt interacts with you.

 

[۩]

There are plenty of others who have reported this. As I pointed out, Opticuswrangler^, and myself, both have experimented with moving the body when in hyperspace. No matter where you go there you are and everything.

 

[Dream2Awaken]

For anybody who thinks it's not possible. You already know they just haven't tried it, or have but maybe did not succeed. If they had they'd know it is entirely possible and as much of a beautiful experience as other. My apologies ewok if any of my posts seem aggressive. I do not mean for them to come across that way. I am also sorry for not acknowledging your (I don't know your screen name) comment about Opticuswrangler. You provided a very good point, thank you.

 

[ewok]

For anybody who thinks it's not possible. You already know they just haven't tried it, or have but maybe did not succeed. If they had they'd know it is entirely possible and as much of a beautiful experience as other. My apologies ewok if any of my posts seem aggressive. I do not mean for them to come across that way. I am also sorry for not acknowledging your (I don't know your screen name) comment about Opticuswrangler. You provided a very good point, thank you.

It's not what you do its the dosage that blows my mind being able to move on that is a accomplishment on its own. No offence taken either.

 

[Global]

Normally I don't get up and move around on large doses or small. Having said that, there have been a number of times when factors beyond my control have forced me to my feet right after plunging into hyperspace. It's not necessarily the easiest thing to do, but it's far from impossible, and quite frankly, I know I'm doing it right. Most often this happens with aya/pharma. After ingesting the DMT, I usually like to wait around an hour to get the ball rolling, and then try to purge. After the purge, I return to my seat and pick up the GVG which I've hopefully already loaded. Upon vaporizing my first dose after ingestion, I usually find myself with the uncontrollable urge to violently puke (even if I had successfully purged). It's like the massive influx of DMT is just too much for my stomach to handle, and so usually I can't ride out the nausea, and am forced to my feet to make the quickest shuffle to the bathroom as possible, and let me assure you that I'm really deep in hyperspace at this point. As I'm doing my hyper shuffle, there are Egyptian deities coming out of the walls, holographic machinery and energy manifesting itself everywhere...just plain craziness ensuing. One time everything seemed so perfect and holy as I made my way for the bathroom that I literally felt like the air was moving out of its way for me. I realize I could have a bucket right nearby, but I prefer my own methods, if for no other reason than while incredibly difficult as it may be, it is pretty fun to move around on DMT. Even after puking, as I shuffle back to my seat, while it may take a full minute to get back at the excruciatingly slow pace I'm capable of, it's usually rather pleasant, and the act of re-entering the space I was makes everything come alive and seem to greet me. To say that you can't walk around on DMT or that if you can that you're doing it right is mere projection, and you shouldn't assume that everyone's going to experience it the same way.

 

[PrimalWisdom]

I had to go pee so badly after hitting a nice lot of spice in a vape. Not sure why, but it was just like OMG I'm going to pee all over myself, so I got up and tried to walk to the bathroom, it was pretty hard at first, but eventually I could make out the real world, it was just incredibly hard to focus on for all the spinning geometric wonders. I got downstairs (yeah it took a while) and by the time I got the toilet I didn't need to pee any more, but I stood staring at myself in the mirror. It was one of the most amazing things I have ever seen, I was glowing, more alive than I had ever felt, and simply beautiful, not in the western concept of beauty, but I marvelled at how we work, what we are, and the fact that there's this thing we call a consciousness wrapped up somewhere in this bundle of flesh, muscle, bones, nerves, neurons and God knows what else. It was so amazing to think about. It completely blew my mind.

 

[Lichen]

Like you Dream2Awaken, I once feared looking deeply within myself - scared of what I may find, or it may reveal some dark past that I would rather have remained forgotten. I honestly think that that confirmation is one of the most significant things you can do for yourself as a human being and entirely worth taking the plunge. How can one go through life without ever really getting to know their self?

Nothing has made me feel more comfortable and happy in my own skin than when I looked deeply inside myself and saw that I am a beautiful person, loving, intelligent, caring, capable of anything - with nothing to fear.

 

[Sol Reverie]

Thanks for sharing this, Dreams2Awaken. I've had similiar experiences myself as well. I always find myself staring into the mirror on any trip. Sometimes a mirror brings bad waves and vibes if I'm in too much of an insecure state at the time, but sometimes it brings on a huge wave of goodness and pleasure if I'm feeling confident and secure at the time. The best part of the latter response is that I usually get a huge afterglow that really turns on the good trip for the rest of the experience.

 

[Dream2Awaken]

It was a pleasure sharing it with you guys, and thank you guys for sharing yours as well. I hope others can read our accounts and inspire them to have similar experiences. I think out of all the things you can learn from Dreaming. The most important to myself at least. Is the things you learn about yourself. Before DMT I didn't even realize how little I knew myself. Now I have truly seen the real me, and for the first time in a very long time. I am happy.