Does anyone else ever feel sometimes, after such incredibly powerful experiences, completely emotionally stripped to the core, soul raw and exposed? On top of that, I'm also experiencing a slight egoic disconnect: feeling crazy for having gone so far, and in rational disbelief that it happened (the mind trying to distance itself from the power of the message).
In short, last night, it was my 3rd night of Aya and the Changuar. Basically, I spontaneously broke into song and magnificent weeping, my heart expanded to encompass the pain of our dying Earth, I had a fullblown Kundalini opening, and I ended up outside (note: this was done SAFELY), face down, in the snow, grabbing handfuls of frozen grass, praying to and pleading with the Earth, that she might live.
I communicated directly with Gaia herself. I saw spirits all over the earth--waterfalls, animals running through fields, beautiful forest scenes--disappearing, just like candles being snuffed. Disappearing into memory. Humans need to remember her, remember their Mother... how many even know what a handful of dirt feels like? She yearns to have a relationship with us so badly, and is infinitely forgiving.
I wept so hard, pushed the pain from my heart, through my chest, out my throat. My hair was soaking wet from tears. Spirits of local forest animals--raccons, squirrels, chipmunks, all came and sat around me. The plants know. Everyone on Earth knows... except for us.
Just sobbing, singing, praying.
I could have gone back tonight, but I opted to take a day to just let this one really settle in. Someone sent me Michael Jackson's "Earth Song," I never thought MJ could make me cry so hard.
I just feel so open, stripped down, exposed--and while it wasn't scary, post-ceremony, it absolutely shocks my rational mind, and I have a slight mental fear for integration.
The Earth moves through me...
My openness and sensitivity have reached a new level (though, my new intention is to learn the art of surrender).
Can anyone share thoughts if the "bareness" resonates? Thanks.
In short, last night, it was my 3rd night of Aya and the Changuar. Basically, I spontaneously broke into song and magnificent weeping, my heart expanded to encompass the pain of our dying Earth, I had a fullblown Kundalini opening, and I ended up outside (note: this was done SAFELY), face down, in the snow, grabbing handfuls of frozen grass, praying to and pleading with the Earth, that she might live.
I communicated directly with Gaia herself. I saw spirits all over the earth--waterfalls, animals running through fields, beautiful forest scenes--disappearing, just like candles being snuffed. Disappearing into memory. Humans need to remember her, remember their Mother... how many even know what a handful of dirt feels like? She yearns to have a relationship with us so badly, and is infinitely forgiving.
I wept so hard, pushed the pain from my heart, through my chest, out my throat. My hair was soaking wet from tears. Spirits of local forest animals--raccons, squirrels, chipmunks, all came and sat around me. The plants know. Everyone on Earth knows... except for us.
Just sobbing, singing, praying.
I could have gone back tonight, but I opted to take a day to just let this one really settle in. Someone sent me Michael Jackson's "Earth Song," I never thought MJ could make me cry so hard.
I just feel so open, stripped down, exposed--and while it wasn't scary, post-ceremony, it absolutely shocks my rational mind, and I have a slight mental fear for integration.
The Earth moves through me...
My openness and sensitivity have reached a new level (though, my new intention is to learn the art of surrender).
Can anyone share thoughts if the "bareness" resonates? Thanks.
