shoe said:
I realise that, and I know the universe is a reflection of onesself, but I really do find them quite *unhelpful*.
SWIM is looking for healing, personal insight, he's certainly not expecting a life changing experience, but is quietly hoping for one. Things seem *so* bad when your at the bottom, and so easy when your at the top.
Your not at the bottom and you shouldnt feel bad about being less experienced with whatever, think its just the stage your at with things, if thats what you mean?
I was reading a thread there yesterday and their talking about experience and in compaared to some there Im probaly at the bottom in comparison but some have never even heard of elf spice, so its kinda relative. I mean 6 months ago I was talking about being an apprentice to cappi then my life got in the way, western stuff I suppose, and laziness :roll:
I love the aya forums, they were a life changing experience within themselves by just reading threads, for me. I hear people saying what I know fine well I should be doing but I dont listen to myself or act on what I know I should be doing, so maybe I need ayahuasca to force the issue, or im looking for something to better myself, and the power of the aya boards themselves helped me a lot before I discovered spice or even drank vine.
Just listening to what people say there had a positive effect without me ever taking anything, thats a powerful thing. I got sidetracked with spice due to that forum, and that lasted a year or so, after communicating with great people. You could imagine my joy when I found this forum after being sidetracked with spice after talking to peeps in real life from there.
Swear when im on the aya forums, which isnt as often as I used to be due to this one, but when im there, I can feel the vine and I end up feeling guilty because im not being disciplined and continuing with what I know I should be doing and what I started, but real life has got in the way of my total clean living. Instead of beating myself up about what im not doing I try to see the positive changes ive made, and what could help me in the future. I mean I still like to get fucked up a lot which you dont see on the aya boards generally, or maybe folks arent being honest? lol Or maybe ayas helped them get away from thos urges and desires
Compared to most boards its one of the nicest Ive come across and you should appreciate it for what it is, a forum about ayahuasca, I personally prefer this board like yourself but they changed me a lot, same as this forum but I still love the ayahuasca forums and continue to learn loads, I mean between here and there theres a whole load of good stuff!
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