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Heart Broken

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Aegle

Aegle

Cloud Whisperer
Senior Member
OG Pioneer
Senior member
My heart is totally broken and i truly feel that I am too soft and fragile for this world. At the end of last year i realised that I sadly had to walk away from my dream and life purpose of protecting our beautiful earth...

Luckily a door opened to work with preschool kids. I have such a deep compassion and respect for children as they are so pure and precious, i was delighted to be given the opportunity to try and bring a little happiness and light into some young ones lives. I have always loved being around kids as they really do teach you patience and compassion as well as helping to illuminate who you really are at the core of your being.

I experienced the most traumatising and devastating event of my life yesterday, a little boy in my class came to me and confided in me that his father is sexually abusing him. So i tried to approach my boss and make her aware that the little boys dad is harming his son. I was horrified as my boss just tried to protect the child's parents by making excuses and doing everything she could to convince me that there is no way the child is being abused. I feel in my heart of hearts that i just need to do everything in my power to do whats best for the little boy, so i have left my job and i am opening up a case of sexual abuse against the little boys father.

I was trying my best last night to not fall into a complete catatonic state of shock and i spent a large percentage of the evening next to the toilet as the negative energy had entirely poisoned my body... Unfortunately today i am still battling to manage and cope with the reality of the situation (I am a dreamer by nature and i always find it almost impossible to see things in the way that they really are.) *The statistics where are live are frightening as 1 in 3 girls are sexually abused before the age of 18 and 1 in 5 boys are sexually abused before the age of 18.*

If anyone has any helpful advice or coping mechanisms that i could implement and integration into my life, so that i can heal from this earth shattering experience it would be greatly appreciated.

*Worryingly this situation seems to be affecting more than any of the other traumatic events which i have experienced during my life, perhaps because i was also once abused when i was a little girl by a member within my extended family...*


With Much Peace, Sunshine and Compassion <3
 
I would call social services asap and also report to whoever is in authority above that teacher or your boss about how they chose to respond to the situation. It is NOT your job to attempt to discern who is telling the truth, your obligation is to that child and to report what they have told you. Really it's so fucked up that you even have to be caught inbetween something like that, I cant believe someone would put it on you to just be quite..

I dont know how it works where you are, but I know that here in canada if one of my mothers students said something like that to her(she works with elementary school kids) she would def be obligated to report it.

edit..I see that you did leave your job to open up a case..that is so wrong though that you even had to leave your job..I would seriosuily file some sort of lawsuit or something against whoever you were working for..I doubt legally they can actaully do what they did.
 
I would also do what I could to make the general public, and other parents who have children in that school aware of how that situation was handled by your boss..I dont know what else you can do aegle..maybe you can find some peace in knowing that yuou can at least stop something like this from happening again. I know that if I had kids at some preschool where that went on, and I found out, I would take them out of that place asap and tell everyone else that had kids there.

This is just one more of the discusting aspects of the world we live in..at least we can find some peace in knowing we have the chance to do something about it.
 
Wow, what a horrible situation. You had to walk away from your dream, but then got to work with the youth, then something so devastatingly shocking happens. Things went from bad to better then straight past bad to horrible. IMO the worst part is your ex-boss just totally denying what happened because she probably didn't want to deal with it.

I feel you've handled everything as best you could've done so far. fractal enchantment is right, call social services asap and report that teacher to the school board/district, and to the 'American Federation of Teachers' & 'Teachers Union' (if you live in the US).

My mother was sexually abused by her sister as a child, and my sister was sexually abused by one of my moms boyfriends when she was 16. Both of them say the best thing to do is to bring it out into the open, expose the perpetrators to the authorities, and hope for justice. Take it up the chain as high as you want as well, write a letter to the mayor/governor/president, say the same message as your post. Beyond that it's out of your control.

Personally its at times like these I wish the world ran under a state of anarchy, so that we could take justice into our own hands.
 
i agree fully with fractals reply. your obligation is to this child not your boss nor even your own job. this situation is bigger than all these details. this child and his/her spirit is calling on you for help. its probably not anything you ever dreamed you would be involved in but its is now your obligation none the less.
you clearly have a loving heart and im sure you know what you must do. we are just her to reinforce your actions and be here for you if there are repercussions.
i applaud your courage and strength. now go forth and help this child to the best of your ability.
 
I don't know if there's any of this sort of bureaucratic infrastructure where you live, but in the US teachers (and probably other professions that work with children; I'm not sure) are required to report any incident like that to Child Protective Services. It's standard procedure, not something you have to quit over. It saddens me that quitting your job was the best route to pursue action but I think it's admirable that you are taking responsibility to make sure the issue is seen through.
 
Thank you to everyone for taking the time to reply... I say this with the deepest respect and utmost gratitude. <3

The system is really messed up as it doesn't actually end up protecting children from their abusers as there is a strong tendency for the authorities to want to keep the family unit together and to remove the child from the parents care in only the most extreme cases. I personally feel though that as soon as abuse occurs there no longer is a family unit to speak of. My heart is aching for this little boy as he is only 2 years old, i can only imagine how scared and frightened he must be. Indeed my boss the owner of the pre school is obligated to report the abuse but she is friends with the childs parents and she just wants to pretend that the child said nothing or was mistaken or was trying to get back at his parents. As far as my knowledge goes children of 2 years don't have the ability to plan out getting revenge.

I am reporting the abuse to an officer of the law tomorrow and my hope is that they will see enough merit in what i have to tell them to warrant a medical examination. I have no problem leaving my job as i would do almost anything to protect any child from harm of any kind even though it has been a difficult decision to make but really easy to follow through with. Though living within a monetary system without a job definitely makes things even more challenging under the circumstances.

I have decided that i am going to be approaching my community paper once this situation has been resolved so that everyone in my community can learn about whats really going on behind closed doors. I have been worried sick about the little boy and i hope with all my heart that his parents haven't punished him for telling me, all though i think they must of as the owner of the pre school is friends with the little boys parents after all, which means she must of spoken to them.

I am trying in every way that i can to still see the beauty in the world but i think it might be a while before i am able to truly see it again. I am thinking of trying to explore the potential of being able to work with abused children, as I feel it could be quiet a powerful way in which i can turn this tragic situation into something positive.


Much Peace and Compassion
 
Some childeren who are sexually abused later become abusers themselves while others don't. What's the difference between these childeren? I think it's the love they get from their environment to be able to heal from such terrible things.
Something happened to me when i was about two to three years old, but i can't exactly recall what because it's just too long ago and i was too young.
But i do know that i've been given all the love i needed, both from my mother as other people around and that because of that i've turned into a person who loves this life, a person who knows what love IS.

I cannot judge your situation, but i think that whatever love you can give, will make a difference for this child's future. The fact that it's his own father makes this a very clouded future still, but all the more important that somebody does what's right.
 
Polytrip

Unfortunately I was also abused by an extended family member, although i was lucky as it only happened once... I spoke to my mother in confidence about what happened and she was incredibly loving and supportive through the whole process. My dad however was in complete denial as it was to harsh for him to face the fact that one of his relatives had harmed his little girl. I'm really glad that you also were supported through your healing process, I guess if we choose to we can create beauty from our harsh and most difficult challenges in life.

No matter what we will always have the ability to make a choice as to how we react to any adversity that comes our way. The decisions we make during our most trying and difficult times truly define who we are. I firmly believe that to say if someone is abused it is likely that they will become an abuser is a very harmful way to perceive the situation as it removes all accountability from the individual involved. I feel we will continue to suffer and be clouded by ignorance until we make a choice within our selves to embark upon a journey of absolute heart and pure compassion.


Much Peace and Understanding
 
I'm sorry to hear of your dilemma Aegle, I hope at least that you can take comfort in the shining example than you are setting by standing up for this child's right to have his complaint of abuse investigated, and by reporting your boss's immorality to the appropriate authorities. I'm proud of you and you should be proud of yourself.

Are there any organisations that you can seek advice from? Lots of love :)
 
That's just awful! People should be made to pass some psych tests before they're allowed to have children...grrr!
I think it's great that you're going to speak out about this. I admire your courage. I hope that you will inspire others to speak out on similar issues as well.

"Personally its at times like these I wish the world ran under a state of anarchy, so that we could take justice into our own hands."
I have a similar sentiment, although not in a vindictive sense. It must be such a horrible feeling for Aegle to feel so connected to and responsible for this child yet have no other option than to tell the authorities and demand to be taken seriously.

much love all
 
this is really sad...i'm so sorry for your and the little boy's pain, and I hope this situation gets resolved soon. You are a very caring and beautiful soul, and I'm sure your heart will guide you through this mess. carry on, and take solace in the fact that you're doing your best. All of our love and support is with you Aegle <3
 
Aegle said:
I am reporting the abuse to an officer of the law tomorrow and my hope is that they will see enough merit in what i have to tell them to warrant a medical examination.
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People like you make this world a better place.

Thank you.
 
Thank you for the Aegle. I was in a similar position growing up, and the people that could have helped didn't. Just the experience of having someone take a stand for him will leave an impact on this child, I'm sure.

Sending you all my love.
 
Aegle said:
I firmly believe that to say if someone is abused it is likely that they will become an abuser is a very harmful way to perceive the situation as it removes all accountability from the individual involved.
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Oh, i didn't mean to say people aren't responsible for what they become themselves. I meant to emphasize the importance of love and support. If childeren never learn what love is, they will definately grow up to be different persons than if they do get the love they need. By giving love, you will change their future in a positive way, i'm absolutely sure of that.
If someone is being abused by somebody that close to him as his own father, it's VERY important that he learns that there are people that you CAN trust. I hope you will be able to give him that, and also that you won't lose the kid out of sight because of how the system works.
 
Polytrip

I understand where you are coming from... I was just stating how i personally feel about the situation, this was not directed to you in any way... 😉


Much Peace and Respect
 
Wow I'm speechless... you guys brought tears to my eyes... Thank you for all the beautiful words and support. Its always the most difficult to walk a path of heart but i will always try my best to do so. Its has been more than a week since the little boy came to me for help and not much has been done to protect him. I have been working with the main organisation against child abuse in my country and i have also made a statement at my local police station though nothing has happened yet, no investigation or medical examination.

Its an extremely trying process, i can only hope that the child will be protected from more harm in the end but the system sadly is extremely flawed...


Much Peace and Compassion
 
proto-pax said:
It is sad to see what a broken and hurtful world we can live in. I can't offer anything than my support (which amounts to nothing), but thank you for doing this.
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Proto Pax

Every one's support here at the Nexus truly means a lot to me and it has really helped me in a big way to get through this awful tragedy. Children are so beautiful and precious, i wish with all my heart that they didn't have to suffer in such terrible ways. All we can do is our very best to protect them and stand by them when they came to us for help and guidance. It really does break my heart that we live in such a world... Its definitely been the most difficult realisation for me.


Much Peace and Kindness
 
Wow...that's truely shocking!! I have a 4 year old daughter myself, and it makes me so ANGRY how some people can just destroy the child's innocence! I really think the wrong words and behaviour of parents can already be enough to traumatize a child, but sexual abuse....that's just too much!!
Why aren't kids taken serious in this society? Everybody should learn from them...they are so open, honest, funny, energetic, loving, poetic, creative...
Aegle please don't give up on the child! There must be the right person with a bit influence that can help you...I wish you the best, and don't forget that it is not your responsibility..what you've done till now is already so positive!!
 
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