Hello need some help building up the courage

[gleipnir]

I recently extracted some NN-DMT, 1 gram of it in fact (Bored Chem Major). Now here I am with a bowl packed, but I keep chickening out. I have been doing psychedelics since I had lsd accidently poured on me from a vial at age 9 (Father was tripping and knocked it over onto my bare leg). I have had tons of LSD, Mushroom, NBOME, ACO-DMT, 2C-X's, Ibogaine trips. Yet for some reason I fear/respect this chemical so much I can't bring myself to just blast off.

So this brings me to my question, any advice or tips on getting a good mindset or help with the anxiety? I read the Faq 5 times over and all the trip reports on erowid. Hearing Mckenna talk about his trips gets me so psyched, but when I lift up that bowl I just freak out.

My trip sitter is a Paramedic (Watch vitals and has anti-psychotics on hand) so I'm not worried about my body, just that initial launch and the trip back. I know you probably get these posts all the time asking for help with pre-flight jitters. Thanks In advance for any help.

Picture attached is my extracted NN-DMT (for quality/safety check) and the method of ingestion is sandwiched and smoked.

Is it Odd i expect the trip to be like this : Video

 

[CharlesBronson]

Grats on the nice pile there. There's plenty to do some proper analysis. :thumb_up:

I would say try not to over think it.. It will likely be a beautifully positive experience that you'll cherish for the rest of your life. Perhaps start off with a light dose and go from there. Take a couple small tokes so you can control how far you go (to some regard). Lay back and just get washed over that very familiar feeling.

I also wouldn't go into it with any expectations of it looking/transforming a particular way, nothing you could ever imagine/seen before would compare to what's just a couple puffs away. It really is another living, breathing, evolving world of infinite beauty and loving intent.

Prepare for launch my friend, you have an unbelievably beautiful voyage in front of you when you decide to finally embark.

 

[AfroHorror]

Your "sitter is a paramedic" lmao
Be brave relax journey...

 

[gleipnir]

Your "sitter is a paramedic" lmao
Be brave relax journey...

My wife is a paramedic so i kinda luck out.

Thanks both of you for the encouragement.

I just wonder if it's easy enough to will power a bad trip into a good one? Kind of like taking a bad vibe in a large dose LSD trip, and making it a good vibe. Or is it more like mushrooms and you just have to flow with the bad and just hope it goes back to good before the come down.

 

[WarriorSage]

I just wonder if it's easy enough to will power a bad trip into a good one? Kind of like taking a bad vibe in a large dose LSD trip, and making it a good vibe. Or is it more like mushrooms and you just have to flow with the bad and just hope it goes back to good before the come down.

I find that being in a neutral mindset (a silent mind) will help to turn a trip around by having no reaction. Also a warrior mindset, aswell as firing love at your negative experience

 

[CharlesBronson]

There's no mindload that comes with DMT like LSD, you're your normal self, just in a completely abnormal place.

Just remember you're completely safe and in the comfort of your home with the one you love beside you. It'll all be over in 10 minutes and you'll come out of it with a giant smile on your face.

Travel safely!

 

[The Observer]

If you're not courageous enuf to do it.............

Then don't!!

Wimp!!

 

[acacian]

CharlesBronson... your posts made me smile a whole heap and get shivers down my spine!

 

[GoodApollo]

I was nervous my first time too. Just relax and jump in. You'll be fine. Whatever happens it'll be over quickly. This will more than likely be one of the best experiences of your life. Just make sure your smoking equipment and technique are up to scratch or you could end up disappointed.

Good luck.

 

[d*l*b]

My only technique is to give up everything and hit the pipe (I use a similar technique to deal with the oddness of flying in an airplane), something else is in control, hand yourself over, submission is key. Whatever will happen will happen and you will come back (it may well be a different you you come back to though!!).

There's no mindload that comes with DMT like LSD, you're your normal self, just in a completely abnormal place.

I’ve experienced a hell of a lot of mindload with DMT, my journeys can be riddled with confusion, I’m certainly rarely anything close to my normal self. At times I experience clarity but it really is a mixed bag, I suppose we’re all different though.

 

[○]

Meditate for 15-20 minutes, eyes closed, anchor your ego/mind, and take successive tokes until you can't toke no more. :thumb_up:

Literally every time I jounrey i'll have muchhh pre flight anxiety, but nearly every time, after it's over...I always wonder what it was that i's so nervous about!

 

[Sky Motion]

Your dad poured liquid L on your leg when you were 9? Can you please tell me more about this I'm terribly interested in what kind of effect it would have on someone so young..

As for the courage thing..the courage is within you my friend.. but I do find the meditating is the only thing that gets me in the right state of mind to go in. I usually ritualize a spice journey in some way (light candles, burn incense, meditate, listen to music, etc.)

 

[gleipnir]

Your dad poured liquid L on your leg when you were 9? Can you please tell me more about this I'm terribly interested in what kind of effect it would have on someone so young..

As for the courage thing..the courage is within you my friend.. but I do find the meditating is the only thing that gets me in the right state of mind to go in. I usually ritualize a spice journey in some way (light candles, burn incense, meditate, listen to music, etc.)

Well it had me on the floor crying for what felt like hours. i had voices barraging me, some saying "I" was dying others telling me that "I" was fine "I" just needed to give in. It was god awful, and it didn't help that I had my father freaking out. After so many years I realize i was going through Ego death rebuilding it and then having it die again. It's mostly a blur like trying to recall a odd dream. Being 9 realizing my own mortality has left me with severe PTSD like symptoms. I could go on for hours, but the details of the trip are very very fuzzy.

So I went ahead and went through with my DMT trip and man, there really isn't words to describe it. I had my sitter hold a tape recorder so when I came back I could start describing what I saw. This is from what I can put together from memory and what i said.

I packed my bowl doing the sandwich method. Turned on some sounds of the rain forest, and lit some sandelwood incense. I sat there and meditated on my goal for this trip, and that was to "Learn more about consciousness and my perception of reality."

I looked over to my wife told her I would be fine, and back in a few minutes. I mostly said this for myself and brought the pipe to my mouth. I waved the flame over the herb carefully as to only get the top layer hot. Deep and sloooow inhale, On exhale I could feel that psychedelic body rush of a very very high dose of LSD. 2nd inhale, and the room was the sharpest I had ever seen and things started to look very "mosaic-y". I could now hear a tone something like a rising B flat. I took one more inhale, there was no backing out of it now I thought. *Boom* It felt like I was on the Hulk in universal studios. All I could see was huge spinning fractals that felt like they were moving and changing at millions of miles per hour in colors I have never seen before.

Next thing I know I'm in some place I can't describe even now, It's like trying to recall a really good dream. There I was in some place that felt like everywhere, but nowhere at the same time. All I can recall Is meeting a giant green women, she was made of what looked like tree bark and DNA coding. I couldn't understand a single word she spoke, but I could feel the meaning. I was happy and at peace at her words, here in this chaotic light spectrum traveling thousand of miles an hour. This thing then reached out to me and showed me something that looked like a computer motherboard. Next thing I know it told me I must go and shifted into a giant spectrum of flashing light kind of like northern lights. I was now back in my home and I could see my wife. I immediately started talking. I still can barely understand what I was saying on tape.

I can't wait to go back and see what I can't recall. It was maddening I wanted to stay longer so I could take more in. Thanks everyone for the tips and good vibes, it helped me gain the courage I needed.

 

[Sky Motion]

Your dad poured liquid L on your leg when you were 9? Can you please tell me more about this I'm terribly interested in what kind of effect it would have on someone so young..

As for the courage thing..the courage is within you my friend.. but I do find the meditating is the only thing that gets me in the right state of mind to go in. I usually ritualize a spice journey in some way (light candles, burn incense, meditate, listen to music, etc.)

Well it had me on the floor crying for what felt like hours. i had voices barraging me, some saying "I" was dying others telling me that "I" was fine "I" just needed to give in. It was god awful, and it didn't help that I had my father freaking out. After so many years I realize i was going through Ego death rebuilding it and then having it die again. It's mostly a blur like trying to recall a odd dream. Being 9 realizing my own mortality has left me with severe PTSD like symptoms. I could go on for hours, but the details of the trip are very very fuzzy.

So I went ahead and went through with my DMT trip and man, there really isn't words to describe it. I had my sitter hold a tape recorder so when I came back I could start describing what I saw. This is from what I can put together from memory and what i said.

I packed my bowl doing the sandwich method. Turned on some sounds of the rain forest, and lit some sandelwood incense. I sat there and meditated on my goal for this trip, and that was to "Learn more about consciousness and my perception of reality."

I looked over to my wife told her I would be fine, and back in a few minutes. I mostly said this for myself and brought the pipe to my mouth. I waved the flame over the herb carefully as to only get the top layer hot. Deep and sloooow inhale, On exhale I could feel that psychedelic body rush of a very very high dose of LSD. 2nd inhale, and the room was the sharpest I had ever seen and things started to look very "mosaic-y". I could now hear a tone something like a rising B flat. I took one more inhale, there was no backing out of it now I thought. *Boom* It felt like I was on the Hulk in universal studios. All I could see was huge spinning fractals that felt like they were moving and changing at millions of miles per hour in colors I have never seen before.

Next thing I know I'm in some place I can't describe even now, It's like trying to recall a really good dream. There I was in some place that felt like everywhere, but nowhere at the same time. All I can recall Is meeting a giant green women, she was made of what looked like tree bark and DNA coding. I couldn't understand a single word she spoke, but I could feel the meaning. I was happy and at peace at her words, here in this chaotic light spectrum traveling thousand of miles an hour. This thing then reached out to me and showed me something that looked like a computer motherboard. Next thing I know it told me I must go and shifted into a giant spectrum of flashing light kind of like northern lights. I was now back in my home and I could see my wife. I immediately started talking. I still can barely understand what I was saying on tape.

I can't wait to go back and see what I can't recall. It was maddening I wanted to stay longer so I could take more in. Thanks everyone for the tips and good vibes, it helped me gain the courage I needed.

GREAT STUFF! Congrats, I knew you had it in you : ) I've actually been on the Hulk at universal hehe...As for the woman made of tree bark and DNA, god damn that sounds amazing. Even I haven't had such an encounter yet :b

Best of luck to you my friend!

 

[LoneDruid]

There really is no way to prepare for it. Just remember that when you're there, fear won't make any rational sense and you will realize that it's just an illusion of the mind.

 

[permanomad]

You'll be fine... its like skydiving: theres a nerveracking ride up to the top, but an exhilarating and fulfilling trip back down again. One that you will cherish forever... everyone gets nervous, its not just you!

Just take a few deep breaths and take the leap. I find that once I've started inhaling, the mind realises its a one way ticket from there on in, so it relaxes. Maybe even think about something else as you lean in to begin sucking in the smoke. Anything to just begin the process helps

 

[CharlesBronson]

Gleipnir, I'm glad my words could help you a bit. It sounds like your experience was a beautiful introduction into an amazing world! I was also greeted by a woman upon my entry into the DMT realm. She was wearing some kind of tron-like suit that covered her from head to toe and she said to me "Yeah, just like that." and held my arm gently to keep me calm and grounded.. We laid together laughing in room without edges watching the circular 3D wallpaper pattern rotate in a synchronized fashion. She felt like a very close friend and everything about her presence was right.

This was the first and only time I've ever been spoken to directly. I have once received a message at the tail end of a journey saying "Thank you" in a mysterious language that looked like Allyson Grey's Secret Writing and it left me with a beautiful feeling of peace and appreciation.

I wish you well my friend, I hope you have many more amazing experiences to share with us!