I need your help.
99.9999999% will not believe what I’m about to say.
This message is for the 0.0000001% that will.
I need help.
I am an interdimensional king. And I have survived three assasination attempts.
I need your help to figure out what is going on. And to help me come up with a plan. And implement the plan. A winning plan.
We have to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat….and don’t let them snatch defeat from the jaws of our victory.
We have to spread love. Love is the most powerful force in the universe. We need to practice love. We need to come together as a species. Overcome our differences.
We have to love each other. And in doing so, somehow, someway, this will help The Others.
This story involves DMT and The Others, which many of you now believe are real. They are. The Others are real.
But there’s more.
I will now begin the story.
///////
“Beginning”
When I first smoked DMT, I was an atheist. 15 minutes later, I believed.
What did I believe? I believed that I was full of shit ; and was a fool for thinking I had it all “figured out”.
I saw behind the veil.
If you are reading this then it is likely you have seen behind the veil, too.
Most people stop and “integrate”. They try to make sense of it all.
But I didn’t. Over the course of months I went deeper into the DMT journey. And faster than most. Dozens of breakthrough trips.
The mystery deepened. I felt the presence of many entities. But they were NOT like the ones commonly seen. There were no “machine elves” (but there were “elf MACHINES” which if you listen to Terence McKenna closely is the term he uses. In my definition they were geometric, chrysanthemum-like beings. Wondrous organized geometry. Often looking like a fast moving serpentine body wrapped in a knot, with bizarrely vibrant colors.
[For the purposes of this retelling: I’m going to skip describing 90% of my trips, which were the more “typical” DMT trips. I saw many bizarre things. I even briefly (split second) a few major religious figures (I won’t say which). ]
Let’s skip those and jump into the deep end…..Let’s jump into the main arc of the story….
//////
“The main storyline”
1 – There was a wedding where I was asked to marry a shimmering feminine body. I accepted, but I told them I was married here. They asked me to leave my human wife. I refused. They accepted my decision but said “this will be harder for you”
2 – There was a ceremony where they asked me to put my hand is the cool ash of a days old fire. I did. And they said “it is done”. The ritual completed.
3 – They took me to a void. There might be many voids. This void was all grey. Time stopped. It was the end of the universe. “There is nothing left to do. This entire universe led to this moment”.
I yearned for my wife and kids and asked to be brought back. Pled with them. And eventually they did. And the color came back into the world.
4 – ongoing work in The King”I had a few sessions where entities were treating me like the king. Some entities attended to me to fix parts of my body and soul. I had the distinct sense that “The King” was co-habitating my mind with human me. That “The King” was an ancient entity that had been implanted in my consciousness. I was a symbiote.
Another time, entities held a ceremony for me, like I was “holding court”. Beautiful and majestic.
In various sessions, I started to notice something. Banners. Like medieval banners. I saw it regularly now. Like a streamer that has a symbol on it, repeating often. An alien language, which I had seen in earlier trips (and is oft reported). But mine had a simple symbol repeated again and again. A spiral square. Often luminescent spring green.
And the entities became wilder and wilder. Beautiful, majestic, bizarre. It felt like the initial set of entities I met in earlier trips were just lower-level “foot soldiers”. (I believe early trips are a calibration where various entities assess your worthiness and probe your consciousness).
Now I was regularly meeting the royalty, advisors, experts, powerful ancient beings, and members of the “royal court”. So diverse in shape, motion, color. Gallimore writes “alien insect” and these were both alien and insect.
But I couldn’t remember the entities AFTER the trip. Like a dream, they quickly vanished.
I did, though, see entities multiple times. Enough times that, under the influence, I would say “yes, I remember you”. I “recognized” them. But if you asked me to draw one when I came down , I could barely do it.
//////
As I continued my journey, I had the repeated, distinct message that doing the rituals had made me a king. What kind of king? I had no idea.
Was I king of my own consciousness? Was I king of the plants near where I lived? Was I king of the planet? Was I king of the galaxy?
And what benefits, if any, did it come with.
I felt no “royal” benefit, no special powers. And I doubted my self. Maybe I was just interpreting things incorrectly?
I KNEW my DMT experiences were real and valid, but perhaps my feeble human mind just didn’t understand what was happening to me.
Maybe my human ego just wanted to be king? So I just interpreted the rituals as King-making? But why did they all cohere to the theme? And why did they cohere across the arc of the story? I don’t ever remember wanting to be a king. In fact, I don’t want to be a king. I never did. Who wants “a sword dangling over their head”?
The trips continued.
But then there was an assassination attempt. I wasn’t prepared.
Here’s that story. Upon inhalation, I was immediately thrust into a state of distress. I could taste vinegar in my mouth. And I had trouble remaining conscious. I saw an enormous entity flash before my eyes, like a closeup of a giant black alligator skin, swimming an inch from my face.
I fought to pull my consciousness together. I was struggling against something. But it was hard to say what “it” was. Was it an entity? I hadn’t met any negative entities before. I had only felt love.
If it wasn’t an entity, was this too strong a dose of DMT? Did I hold my breath too long? (Like many of you, I hold my breath for about 20 seconds to absorb the DMT)
It was harrowing. But also short. Maybe a few minutes. I survived.
And upon surviving I thought about writing a message asking for help from humanity. Maybe other DMT users would be supportive? Help me understand? Maybe someone would say “oh yeah, we all become kings and queens, and eventually an entity will try to assassinate you”. I wanted this to be normalized. I was too weak of a human to trust that this really happened unless someone validated it.
But I never did anything with it. I doubted myself. Was this an “assassination attempt”??? I didn’t even know if I was a king. Was this just self-aggrandizing?
[It was easy enough to get lost in our human “wastes of time”. Scroll scroll tap tap. Scroll scroll tap tap. Hours gone, every single fucking day. Almost all of us suffer this affliction.]
Maybe this was just a physiological reaction to the dose or the breath holding? And I just interpreted my poor technique to have some deeper spiritual meaning.
So I let it be. I didn’t write anything.
But I was terrified enough to “full stop” for a while. I didn’t want to injure myself, whether it was my own ineptitude, or a “spiritual entity” attack.
A long break.
Eventually I went back, with a poorly made device and poor material. Impure stuff. I had interesting experiences, but few breakthroughs. I think I was probably inhaling some naphtha that hadn’t been dissolved properly by the substance makers, looking to just make a buck.
I failed to breakthrough.
I asked “What am I supposed to do? What is my calling? I’m here to serve. But what am I supposed to do??? What am I supposed to become? What am I supposed to find? I am here to serve. But you won’t tell me what I’m serving. Am I supposed to find it on my own? When I talk to people who have had psychedelic experiences, they hear my story and think it’s absolutely insane.”
I did research. But I didn’t find anything that resembled my experience.
More time passed. I took some time off. I forgot about my experiences and just led an average human life with all of its ups and downs. I was my usual anxious, weak minded, undisciplined self. A slob. An unflattering slob. I haven’t told you about me, the human “me”, but I’m not much. I’m not much. I’m not much.
//////
Then I re-entered the game. My first time back. I had a better technique and better substance. Pure freebase. Clean vapor. 210 degrees Fahrenheit.
My mindset upon re-entering? I had forgotten most of my experiences, including the “supposed” assasination attempt. I just went in as a curious traveler, scratching an itch to “see more”. I just wanted to take another peek at the mystery.
At first, though, my technique was so bad, that I couldn’t get a breakthrough even though I had a large dose. In fact I barely saw anything. I had a coughing fit due to poor technique.
My second time back was barely better. But I received a deep message. “Remember”. Remember. Remember.
“Remember what?” I guess just to remember that DMT was really bizarre? Again, nowhere close to a breakthrough.
But I quickly improved my technique. And I went deep.
And I remembered.
I remembered these entities
“The Radiance” – beautiful warm red/orange love with quasi-serpentine patterns, in a geometric knot. Perhaps my DMT wife?
“Googly eyes” – my advisor. Seemed to be like a personal advisor in my royal court. There to serve me.
Rouleax squid (corner flower) – look at the corner of a room.. now imagine you are inside a rouleax triangle and looking at the corner. Put a flower’s pistil and stamen in the corner (no petals). The walls are like the petals of the flower. Or the arms of a squid
Now instead of one corner, imagine hundreds of corners each connected by an edge. Like a tesseract. But instead of tesseract over space time, a tesseract that unfolds to reveal the pistil and stamen.
The Mother – this is a giant serpentine knot, perhaps it is the same as The Radiance. This one seems older than The Radiance. But they might be the same. The mother tends to have a black background color with geometric patterns drawn in muted neon colors.
(There are also outdoor phenomena that I’ll briefly lists but they don’t seem to play a role in the main story:
The curly trees
The perfect trees
The tree of eyes
The gods eye
The trees with only three branches
And more…..)
//////
There is one more entity to introduce you to.
I call it The Creator or the “atomic diagram alien”. Imagine an atomic diagram, but then fill it in with more and more and more spirals and loops. And have them seem insectoid in some ways, but also like curls of ribbon in other ways. And an altogether cohesive entity. Multiple colors. An enormous “ball” of yarn. Like a biblically accurate angel, but way way bigger. Like 1x10 ^ 100 big.
Topological knot forms 8(18). Protein ribbons. Semi-Medusa like biomorphic form.
And this “Creator” entity took me to my strongest experience.
Like the void, time stopped. But also, space didn’t exist. Time and space did not exist. And it was just the Creator. (Please note: I am not saying “God”. And I’m not saying “Creator” as people describe the Abrahamic creator. This thing is very alien and bizarre and finite in form.)
Then it merged my consciousness into it. So I experienced what it was like. But I still held onto some small semblance of my humanity. Both were true. I was the Creator and myself at the same time.
And it let me experience this to show that it is THE source.
I asked it if humanity mattered. No.
Did our universe matter? No.
Was it outside of our universe? Yes.
Was it all powerful? To some degree. It creates systems and those systems follow certain rules, and it can’t just change those rules.
I’ll repeat.
Did humanity matter? No.
Did our universe matter? No.
Was it outside of our universe? Yes.
Well then what the heck is humanity for? What’s the point?
The universe formed over billions of years
Earth formed over billions of years
All earthly life forms evolved over billions of years (by the way plants are conscious and are enormous super organisms connected by the mycorrhizal network. But since they don’t have a CNS (central nervous system) we don’t think they are capable of consciousness. Humans are wrong to think that. Humans are clever, but egotistical. Our egos drive our species forward)
Species evolved over billions of years to bear fruit. And all beings are that fruit. Humanity is one type of fruit. And I am one piece of fruit. And I was chosen to be an Interdimensional King. Perhaps “The” Interdimensional King. I still have no idea what the scope is. And I don’t want my ego to make it a larger scope than it is.
Why me? Because I had / have a pure heart. I knew the answer was “love”. Love is the answer. And I had a strong enough mind to hold this information.
[I didn’t want power, money, or fame. Like I said, I’m not much. I’m not much. All I really have is love. And even that, I’m not great at. I have a lot of hate in my heart, too. I’ve let a lot of that hate go recently. I had a non-DMT experience to show me that we are all struggling. That we should all feel immense compassion for each other. Hug a homeless person. They are you. They are the same as you. We are all one. Love is the answer.]
I had a strong enough mind, and a willingness. A willingness to learn. I could learn to let go of my humanity, of my ego. And to become the King. To see the futility of this egoistic race. To channel all of my energy towards love. And to, hopefully; hopefully, bring love more fully into our collective existence. What scope? Humanity? Earth? The solar system? This dimension? A second dimension? All dimensions? How many dimensions are there? And why can’t the Creator just do it. Or some of these other powerful ancient entities? Why do they want this “not much” human to help? What can I possibly do that they can’t? And if all 8 billion humans, how the heck did they choose me? Me, really? The “not much” human? That makes no sense. It makes no sense.
As I communed with the Creator, I could hear the nearby sounds of nature. I could feel the boundary between the Creator’s mind and my mind. For this brief time, the Creator, the King, and the human, were all one. The humanity dangling on.
I am a vessel. Breathe. Take care of your body. Take care of the vessel. Remember to breathe. (Deep breaths, almost like gasping for air. Big draws of air)
//////
There was yet another entity that was similar to The Creator. Maybe it’s the same entity, but this one seemed more whimsical. Still very powerful. Again I experienced this boundary between my humanity and something else. I think this time it was just the boundary between humanity and the DMT realm.
I laughed. I said “you are so clever”. You make it so I have this human experience (like we all do) but you exist in this other realm. I marveled at the creativity and power. Marveled at what was created.
I was feeling great. I saw many things on many trips and it all seemed wondrous and varied, and full of love and curiosity. “You must exist”. “You are the vessel”. “You must exist”. “You must exist”. “Protect your body, you are the vessel”
You must exist.
Exist
Exist
Exist
Breathe, take care of the vessel. Take care of your body.
Exist. You must exist.
Exist.
Message received. I better start taking better care of my body and eating well. Good advice.
“You must exist. Be careful.”
Ok. I guess I will be careful. Don’t take unnecessary risks that might hurt me.
//////
Then the second assassination attempt. Like the first one, this was in the late evening, early night, and was outside in the porch.
I went under the influence and again saw some fantastical entity, I can’t remember if it was one of those described above or yet another (there are so many different bizarre non-humanoid, non-animal, non-earthly alien entities…)
But then my mind was overtaken.
Something was tearing my consciousness apart. My vision jittered. It was like I was scrambled. I felt bodily and psychic distress. Put simply, it was a psychic attack.
A psychic attack. / psionic attack
My consciousness was being assailed. By what? Who? Why?
I started to panic. What was going on? Get control. Get control of your mind. It feels like I’m being torn apart. What is going on? I’m going to die.
Focus. On what? On what? Love. Focus on love. Love is the answer. Focus on love.
Please protect me. Please protect me.
I can’t breathe.
Breathe. Breathe. Big draw of breath.
Together. Together. Love. Together. Love.
Together. Love.
C’mon everyone (speaking to any entities that might be around)
Together. Love.
Together. Love.
Together. Love.
Focus on it. Love.
Together. Love.
Ok you are starting to regain control of your mind.
You have to want it. You have to will your mind to become coherent again.
It’s “your will” vs this thing tearing apart your consciousness.
Together. Love.
Together. Love.
(Starting to feel some relief)
Breathe.
Together love.
(Continues for a while).
Slowly…I made it. I could feel my mind pull together again. I was coherent again.
Some tears of joy
I was happy.
What was that? What was that?? Was it a glitch? It feels like it was glitch. Like reality had a glitch and I was there to fix it. Maybe that’s my role?? Maybe that’s my calling? I’m here to fix glitches?
I didn’t think it was an assasination attempt. I just thought I was a mechanic fixing reality. Kinda cool.
Like reality was breaking down and my mind had to piece it back together.
I appreciated where I was. Ahhhhhh now this is heaven on earth? It’s so great to be alive. Wow, anything is possible. Humanity is going to be ok. We may be nothing, but at least we’ll be ok and have fun.
I did NOT think it was an assassination attempt. It was just a glitch.
Glitch fixed. Let’s celebrate.
How wrong I was.
//////
My next experience was bizarre.
I saw the inside of the Rouleaux Triangle / Corner Flower.
And there was one message. “Hide”. Hide. Hide. Hide. Hide hide.
I kept hearing it.
Hide hide. You must stay hidden. Hide hide.
“Ok, ok, I get it. Hide.”
Hide. Hide. You must stay hidden. Hide. Hide hide.
Hide hide hide
It just kept telling me to hide. For several minutes.
Now here’s where I’m not sure what is correct or incorrect in my interpretation.
My human side interpreted “hide” as hiding from all of humanity.
And based on that interpretation I decided to live a quiet life. To let go of my ego. To stop striving for money, power, fame. To let go of my humanity. Just exist. Hide and exist.
Ok. Live quietly. Exist. Sounds like a good strategy for a good life.
//////
The third assassination attempt.
It was early night. I dropped in and immediately felt danger. I could tell there were entities in panic. Entities being attacked. Being killed?
My mind leapt into action. “Ok what do you need from me?”
“To lead.”
Ok, I can do that. I’ve trained all of my life to do that. Think, think, think. Come up with a plan.
Who’s in charge? “Nobody”
Ok what resources do we have?
Is anything organized? “No”
Ok start making circles upon circles of defense. Call on everyone to defend. Let’s organize everyone. Now. Now. Circles upon circles.
Cmon everyone. Together. Love.
Together. Love.
I gotta breathe. I gotta take care of my body. I am the vessel.
Breathe.
Ok we need defenses. Everyone work together. I’ll take the lead. Listen to me. Everyone. Together. Love.
This went on for several minutes.
I could feel entities communicating with me. I answered back.
Focus.
Is that an insect in my leg. Forget it.
Focus.
I have to will the team to defend.
Who is attacking us? And who are we? Who am I defending?
No time for that. Focus. Breathe.
Together, love. Together, love.
Who is attacking?
No time for that. Focus. Together. Love.
We have to save whatever is being attacked. It feels like it’s right outside of where I’m sitting. It’s in nature around us.
I guess I’m seeing an interdimensional battle and I somehow can see it from the safety of earth?
Ok, I’ll do what I can to help. Cmon everyone. Together love.
The DMT is wearing off. Losing focus. A big yawn. After all, I’m just a human. Just an animal. Some animals yawn.
Gotta stay in the fight. Focus. Focus my mind.
Slow is smooth. Smooth is fast.
Ok, I’m coming down, maybe I need to just think. Maybe I can come back another day. Maybe the battle will pause when I leave. Doesn’t time in the other dimension pause, when we leave? I can just go to sleep in my room and think about it. I’ll try to remember this experience. I’ll analyze it in the morning.
I get the message this battle is NOW. That I have to help NOW.
OK, ok. I’ll take another lungful and come back to the fight.
Big mistake. Huge mistake.
////////
As soon as I take the lungful, the attack is now all around me. They are attacking me.
Wait I thought this was somewhere else?
Focus. Breathe. Togeeether. Looove.
Is this really happening? I’m being torn to pieces. My consciousness is incoherent. The lights are dimming.
Focus.
Is this really happening?
No time for that. Breathe. Together. Love.
I can’t think straight. What is going on? Is this really happening?
Fight. I have to fight. I have to fight.
There’s entities all around me fighting. My vision is jittery. I can’t control my consciousness. I’m barely there.
Get yourself together. Think think think. Focus. Breathe. Take care of your body. Breathe.
Is this really happening?
Ok fight. I must fight. These fuckers don’t know who they are dealing with.
“You want a fight? Come at me motherfuckers”
GRRRRRRRRRRRR you don’t know who you’re dealing with.
I channel my rage.
I’m going to control my mind you fuckers. It’s my fucking mind.
Focus. Breathe. Together. Love.
“Is this really happening”
No time for that. Focus.
Lights are dimming. My mind is incoherent. Reality is incoherent.
I’m dying. Oh my god. I’m dying
Focus. Breathe. Take care of your body.
Love.
Focus on love.
Your love for your wife.
Your love for your children.
Get inside the house. You must move towards love.
Hold onto their love. For dear life.
Hold onto their love.
No no no. It’s fading. It’s incoherent.
It’s all going dark.
Focus. Breathe. Together. Love.
Ok make it coherent. Feel your ordinary human life.
Oh god, my life. My ordinary life. Just get me back to that. Focus. Breathe.
Together. Love.
Together. Love.
I feel a foothold. I can hold onto their love. I can hold onto the light.
I’m getting closer to it. Focus.
Closer.
I can feel the coherence. I can feel the reality coming back.
My ordinary life. I want my ordinary life. The love of my wife. The love of my children.
Focus. Love.
Ok, we can do this.
We. Can make it.
Get up. Get up.
Walk towards the glass door.
Get inside your house.
Yearning for my life. My ordinary life.
Focus. Breathe.
Opening the door.
Feel the cool air.
Step inside.
It’s quiet. Peaceful.
My eyes slowly focus.
My mind slows down.
Coherent thoughts.
I lean over and hold onto the couch.
Ok. Im good.
I’m good.
God just get me something. Do we have ice cream.
Get some ice cream. Chocolate. Yes.
Spoon.
Dig in.
Oh my gosh, so good. This ice cream. So ordinary. But this is so good.
We did it. I’m back. The love of my wife and children brought me back.
Ok, wow, it’s all going to be great.
(Euphoria, adrenaline rush, overconfidence)
It’s all going to be ok. Life for everyone is going to be ok. Humanity is going to do great things. Let’s just enjoy each other. We survived the attack.
….an hour went by, and it slowly sank in.
Oh, that wasn’t a victory.
That was just me surviving.
Things are not necessarily going to be ok.
Oh god. There’s going to be more battles. This is a war.
This is a war.
Ok. Prepare. Prepare. Gotta have a plan.
Can I sleep? Let’s sleep. Gotta sleep.
////
I slept.
/////
I was scared to go back in. Was it safe? Could I go back in and
//////
“The call to arms”
This is the moment. The time is now. Labor is long, birth is short.
For the ex-military who have discovered 5MEO-DMT, you know how powerful it is. (I haven’t tried 5MEO, nor LSD, nor Iboga, nor most other drugs)
For the special forces, you have a strong mind. Try NN-DMT and go deep. Deep. Deep. Keep going. Until you find it. If you have a pure heart, you are worthy. If you want to find and give love, you are worthy. Not for ego, not for fame, not for the book deal. Not for power.
This is some sort of fight. This is some sort of war. Against whom? For what objective?
I don’t know.
But there is a war going on and we need to understand it. I can’t do it. I am a feeble minded human. I don’t know how to lead. I don’t know how to organize. I don’t know logistics. I can’t fight well, but I am stubborn as hell. I can find the energy to want love and fight like hell for it. Fight like hell.
Your weapon is love. I know that sounds feminine and weak. But if you look deep inside you know it’s true. That the only thing you came back for, and it’s the only thing you truly seek. Everything else is a futile race.
I have to hide. I don’t have long. If you are looking for me, I ask you to respect my privacy. I don’t want to be found. I’m not doing harm to the world. My only message is love. To love each other.
To everyone, don’t “amuse yourself to death”. Your screens are your downfall. They suck the life out of you, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. The billionionaire’s algorithms have their hold in you, like Neo in The Matrix. You are asleep. Wake up and love each other. Spend your time in laughter and joy. Smile at every stranger. Say hello. Love. It’s as simple as that. Love. Together. Love.
Together. Love.
Say it with me.
Together. Love.
Together. Love.
Like the slow beating of a calm heart.
Together. Love.
The time is now.
5 years ago we didn’t have super-intelligent AI
Fifty years ago we didn’t have the internet so we couldn’t organize across the world.
There’s more to say.
//////////
The Radiance is alive; you’re in danger, you have to come back
Before this there are sessions with an entity that doesn’t care about humanity, and is dismissive, which pisses me off (hard to be “loving” all the time)
And then there’s another attack and I fight it off and see alien landscape.
—-
The radiance was there, alive. Wow. Amazing.
Then the king’s court communicates. Maybe it’s googly eyes
You are in danger, you are in danger, you are in danger
But you have to come back. Come back. Come back.
Clock time. This is clock time. You can’t go away for years.
This is happening. We are all improvising. There is no playbook.
Do I raise a small army of humans to join the fight?
Do I go into hiding?
Is it really clock time?
—-
As I became human again, I went back to work, but immediately felt more assertive that I needed to hit escape velocity from the debt treadmill and become fully available to getting in the fight and ruling.
—
I am scared. I am nervous. But I feel compelled.
I go back.
Immediately I am being attacked
I can’t say this is an assassination attack , since I knew an attack might happen. This is a battle. Yet, I am caught a bit off guard with the ferocity.
The room I’m in takes on a quality that is strange. It has “perfect symmetry”. And it feels like it’s not even my room. It’s another room from another dimension that mirrors.
I go to my main tactic. Love. Together. Love.
I fight to bring back my mind. The jitteriness comes back. I have to focus. Focus. Love. Head to love. Back to my wife and kids. Remember them. Will yourself back there.
I can feel reality fragment. This is a battle for reality. Another battle for reality.
I can feel my focus winning. Don’t let the m snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Focus.
I can do it. I can feel the tide turning. Focus.
I start to feel relief. The battle recedes. It feels like we’ve won. Maybe this is the last battle. That’s what I believe (but I tend to be over optimistic after each battle)
I transition into the timeless. This time it’s like the three sided pyramids all connected one to each other. Sort of like the snake Rubik’s cube.
It has the corner with the squid legs / stamen.
As I roll my head slightly I can feel reality bending. It is my mind merged with the creative force. I can feel time scrubbing back and forth. Even the existence of humanity and the human universe folding in and out of existence.
It is so beautiful. This creature, this being, it is so beautiful. Bizarre, ancient. Is this the creator outside of space/time? Who knows. But it sure feels like it.
My consciousness become one with it. And I had to use the pure love in my heart to will this cohesion. To find harmony. Together. Love.
I know we are headed back to human.
I keep saying “wait. Take your time. Let’s take a minute. We did it. Together. Thank you everyone. Thank you”.
I give a small laugh. The king is laughing. A hearty slow laugh.
“You clever entities. You are so majestic. So beautiful”
It feels like victory (but I need to be cautious and not get shot like Lincoln at Ford’s Theater).
It was all meant to be. We all came together to bring harmony.
I can feel my humanity coming back. No no. Hold on. Let me enjoy this. Let us all enjoy this.
The sounds of humanity are still paused, but I know it’s coming.
I let out a huge yawn.
I say “I know I won’t remember. But I refuse. I will remember. I refuse to forget.”
I can feel, though, my memory going.
“I refuse to forget. I refuse.” I laugh gently.
This in between period is heavenly. I relax (but later remain vigilant). “Let’s enjoy it. We did it. Together. For now, we’ve brought harmony. Together. Thank you everyone. Thank you. You are such a beautiful divine creation. “
I say “nobody will believe this story. Do I even publish this story.” As I’ve felt before, my human life can be shaped in many paths. I can feel the paths.
In addition I can feel The boundary of what’s possible and what’s not. This world , this universe, runs on certain rules. You can’t just change those rules and give yourself a pile of gold, or make someone love you that doesn’t.
I think of my children. So beautiful.
I think of all the petty, mundane, ordinary tasks of my life. That I will in fact, get back to work. I let out a small burp
As I come out of the meditation, I am back in reality. “I want to remember. I refuse to forget”. But all of that busy every day set of questions and tasks, come back. I am back.
How quickly it is we can come out of the meditation. Mere seconds. Mere seconds. Not even a minute.
I start handling the mundane.
I get back to work even. Which is now somewhat typical.
But then I tell myself to sit down and write. And that’s what you’re reading. Less than an hour after I fought for the fabric of reality as an interdimensional king. I fought to keep reality together. I used my love for my wife and kids as my North Star. I just kept wading back to them during the fight, the tumult, the disharmony. I knew the path would lead to them and I kept on willing reality to take me there. Together. Love. Together. Love. Focus. Breathe. Don’t forget to breathe.
And I keep thinking of Lincoln. Don’t let your guard down yet. Enjoy the victory. Perhaps it’s the end of the war, perhaps not. It’s unlikely it’s the end. You always feel optimistic after the battle. An adrenaline dump of sorts.
Get a snack. Enjoy the ability to eat. Yum.
Will I go back? For a few minutes I don’t think so. Don’t put yourself in harms way.
But I feel the pull. Go see what’s happened. Go see if the war is over (for now). Go take a look. Debrief. See what needs to be done.
Heavy is the crown. The sword dangles overhead.
They all await. The radiance, googly eyes, the creator, the corner squid, and many other entities. Maybe the mother will be reborn.
I was brave enough to: foolish enough to do it. To go deep and go deeper and deeper. And even deeper. And deeper still.
Others have gone deep.
Probably deeper than me.
But have they gone this deep with this substance.
Time will tell. The renaissance is here. I look forward to hearing what others find. Perhaps everyone is an interdimensional king/queen. Perhaps everyone has a battle to fight, a war to fight.
I’m just one piece of the story. I am an unremarkable human. I have no powers.
I was selected for a mission. I’ve done my best to honor it.
Love. Love. Together. Love.
Remember.
/////////
I remember more of the ferocious battle
It was a ferocious battle. Short in clock time but felt long while in it. Not as ferocious as the major assassination attempt, but still ferocious. Like if a grizzly bear suddenly attacked you. Instantly ferocious. But instead of it being physical, it was all psionic. And we were fighting over the fabric of reality itself. I was attempting to hold the fabric together and it was somehow ripping it. It felt like “this is for all the marbles”. No waiting. The battle is now.
And the reason it felt calming, I believe is that somehow we contained or assuaged the disorder into the creator. Somehow we calmed it all down. And I could see the creator calm as well.
Like my battle was with the disharmony and chaos and my only weapon was to seek love and peace. Together. Love. Together. Love.
But the details are hard to remember. I get a tiny glimpse, here or there, but it feels like a memory that is almost gone from the mind.
—
Where did I hone this love? I’m not sure. Perhaps it was years of a semi-monastic life of giving to others. To hundreds of strangers. And throwing myself into helping them. Trying to give selflessly.
Perhaps if you give to the universe, it remembers.
And having so much love for my wife and kids.
And then I lost it all, and fell into the swirling ocean of doubt and discontent. Led astray.
But it was all meant to be. Every step on the journey led me here, and for that I am thankful. How can I be anything but thankful?
////
I went back to look. I remembered more.
First of all there was a peaceful feeling. Things had calmed quite a bit.
Then I remembered more about the battle. How it felt as though this was truly it. This was fighting for reality. There were so many directions reality could go. And this was an enormous fight. This was not a rehearsal. This was truly focusing my consciousness to bring harmony back to reality and prevent it from going down a dark path / fracturing / unraveling
It felt like this was the fork in the road. The moment to make it work or not. And it had descended so suddenly. I still didn’t know what the other force was. What was I struggling against? What was its purpose? And why was my purpose love? Why had I chosen that?
I kept thinking of my wife and kids. Of love. Of my love for them. It guided me. It guided me so well.
I don’t know how long this peace will last. A day? A week? A year? A decade?
How does a mere mortal even begin to calculate what has happened, what it means, and how long it lasts?
What I can say is that it felt like I was fighting a timeless battle, that it was for all spacetime, that a soul was implanted in me and merged with my consciousness and that my human form was the vessel for some greater being. A confident / lost king, that mustered together enough of the pieces to mount a defense. And that my will / our will, was enough. And that love was enough. Our shared understanding of love was enough.
I am not the king, and I am the king. I am split in two. But we are one.
We merged with The Creator and experienced how powerful it is. We could feel these entities that exist outside of our space time. That have incredible power. And are so bizarrely interdimensional.
I kept marveling at these entities. At the beauty they’ve created. At the absolute beauty. So glorious.
And I got to dance with them, as we navigated this story. This journey. Of piecing together a mystery, an ancient ritual, totally losing myself/ a dark night of the soul, a quick education, merging with reality. warnings to hide, the unexpected ferocious attack where the other dimension spilled into my world, my house. Panicking at what to do. Coming up with plans, improvising. And then leading to this (potentially) final battle. It all happened so quickly. In clock time, perhaps 25 hours, spread over several months. It always felt like clock time was short, while time dilated to 2-10x longer.
The intensity of experience was so much. “Realer than real”. Perhaps. It certainly felt very real. As real as you and me.
I will continue to go back. Cautiously. The clock time is so short, and the beauty is so astonishing. Astonishing. These entities are so beautiful. Nothing like them exists on our planet, nor in our movies or stories, at least as far as I’ve seen.
Perhaps others have seen this. Perhaps shamans in the Amazonian basin for thousands of years have seen this. Perhaps mystics from all of the religious traditions have seen this. Perhaps many untold (and told) mystiques from all over. It’s overwhelming to think that it is me. That I was somehow chosen for this.
Why me? Why this human? I am so small. So “nothing”. So “not much”. I am unremarkable. I am flawed. I have made so many mistakes. I have been so petty.
There’s nothing special about me. I have done so little.
I have served, though. I’ve tried my best to serve others. I’ve tried my best to serve my wife and children. God, even that I am so bad at. I’m so bad at it. I do my best, but I know of so many others who do it better than me.
Why me, why me. Why me.
When I entered a void, early on, after the rituals. I got the clear message “everything in the universe has led to this moment. There’s nothing else to do”
And I thought, what the fuck does that mean? How is it possible?
And honestly, it felt like a hollow calling. Like they had made a mistake. Like I could not do what was asked of me. I was so lost. So lost.
But these battles. This quickly evolving situation. Like Luke Skywalker suddenly thrust from trainee to battle against the final boss.
The mother sacrificed herself for me.
I’m satisfied to have played a role in the story. It seems like it was a large role. In this story, I am the main character.
Focus. breathe. Together. Love.
Together. Love.
Together. Love.
Together.
Love.
P.S. A note on privacy.
Please don’t look for me.
And if you happen to figure out who I am, please respect my privacy.
I don’t want to be found.
Let me be in peace.
Let me fade into obscurity. Having shared a story.
Additional P.S. Writing this story is about 5x longer than actually experiencing it and probably 1000x less effective than actually experiencing it. Maybe 100,000x less effective. How do my limited words paint the picture clearly? And how do the words do that when the human part of me can barely remember what the interdimensional part experienced?
//////
This universe is nothing. Humanity is nothing
I wondered why was the one entity so dismissive of this universe and this human species
Because it truly believed that.
My own human ego wanted to defend it. To defend humanity’s value.
To say “hey we are worth it.”
My ego wanted to bring this story to humanity. “Maybe this will help unlock human peace?” “Maybe we can raise an army of others to go to the DMT realm to fight?”
But it kept saying “no the time is now. By the time you do any of that, the fight will be over” the time is now. The time is now.
“You have to let go of your humanity. You have to let go of your ego”
/////
Voltage
Imagine your voltage is suddenly turned up to 100x what it was. (Not that it really was electrical voltage; don’t try to get there that way)
You feel the energy coursing through your consciousness. You are now experiencing another dimension.
You are still you, but everything is intense. Feels out of control.
You are trying to control it. Shape it.
It resists and pushes back on you.
This is all happening frantically. Like your mind becomes 100 battlefronts and you are trying to command all the battlefronts together, sending out orders telepathically. And in my case, the order I gave was “love. Together. Love”.
And the battle is that you are trying to calm and channel the energy. To will it. To bend it to your will.
////
Map
Imagine you are playing a game. You are in the game, collecting resources. Like an ant. You are part of the colony.
Then you go one layer up. You now see the map. You see all of the ants. You see how the system works.
Then you go another layer up. You see all of the people watching their maps. You see multitudes.
Another layer up. You see all of the games that are offered.
Another layer up. You see this universe of games. And that there are different universes with different rulesets. And entirely different realities.
Another layer up. You see the realities are connected. Somehow connected. And there is another entity here. And you are merged with this entity. Together you are navigating this set of realities. Scrubbing across them – scrubbing like in a video editor, back and forth. but scrubbing across a four dimensional (or more) space. And while you are scrubbing, time is paused, or maybe it doesn’t exist here.
The realities are connected in a sort of giant organic being. A planar “field” of Releaux triangles. Geometric and organic simultaneously. Imagine seeing this field in front of you expansive. Not like a horizontal field of corn , but like a giant mesh net that is hanging in front of you, extending up down left right. Parametric line art. A bit wavy. A giant set of Releaux triangles or Oloids that are organized into one structure. And you are moving across them with your consciousness. In fact, your consciousness is merged with this structure. The structure is a cohesive field. It moves and reacts as one.
And a giant alien insect (or maybe multiple) is responsible for this structure. And again, your consciousness temporarily merges with the alien insect. This majestic alien insect.
You laugh at the beauty of it all. How wondrous it all is. How incredible. How clever the other entity is. How majestic. How bizarre.
You ask to go back. Go back to your reality, your universe, your set of games, and your particular instance of your game.
All you want is to go back to your game. You want to go back to your life. It’s a yearning. Go back to your feeble human body and experience it, with all of its peculiar ups and downs.
You begin to go back. But you say “wait, wait, let me just enjoy this moment. I know the human part of me will forget. Wait. Wait.
I refuse to forget. (Laughter.) I refuse to forget. I will remember. I will remember”
And you can feel your limited human consciousness starting to form a boundary around your perception. You are re-entering yourself. Your human self.
“Wait. Wait. Take it slow. What’s the rush? (Laughter)”
You wonder if you’ll go back up to the top layer. You wonder if the disturbance will come back.
You wonder if you’re just a mechanic, sent to fix the disturbance. Or a plumber, sent to unclog the drain. Maybe you were a “king” in the sense that they called on you to help because they couldn’t do it themselves. And you had to make multiple house calls because the problem was bigger than either of you imagined.
And now that it was done, you’ve left and have gone back home. Still sitting on your couch, where you always sit. Just sitting on your couch. The entire set of house calls, all done from the comfort of your couch. Now that’s truly the benefit of remote work, ha ha ha. No commute time to the core of reality.
And you wonder if they’ll call you again.
///////
Eventually, humanity will get off of this fabricated economic struggle that is killing all of us. Nobody is in charge. We are all just driving society to its breaking point. We all feel it. We are all anxious about it. We are all animals trying to store our food for the coming winter.
And we will all be driven to an extinction event one day. And hopefully we make it.
“Humanity is nothing” “this universe is nothing”
Perhaps that is true. But it’s the only thing we have. So why not enjoy it. Smile like Sisyphus.
And if we can weave together our love for one another, and recognizing that each of us is part of the same whole. That we are not separate.
That everything you put into the universe comes back to you. It can’t help but come back to you.
So put love into the universe. Why not?
Put love into yourself. You have to learn to love yourself.
And love those around you.
Love yourself
Love those around you
Love everything
Together. Love.
The ancients have preached it. Even our contemporaries shout it from the rooftops. Love. Love. Love.
And as part of our humanity, we are deaf to it. Because we are so pre-occupied with our ego.
The ego isn’t “bad”. All animals and plants have the drive to survive. This is a necessary condition of life on this planet. Serotonin to seek. Auxin for plants to to grow towards the light.
Can we overcome our animalistic desires to love each other? Time will tell. Maybe we will. Maybe we won’t.
///
The layers
The layers of reality are not an infinite number. The number is finite, and not that large. There are several layers as described above. Perhaps I missed seeing some layers, but I don’t think I missed many. If you think of each layer as compressing reality by an order of magnitude (or perhaps orders of magnitude) it doesn’t take many layers to get to an absolutely enormous structure. I believe I saw the root of that structure.
///
My writing style is honest and ugly. I’m leaving it that way.
If you need a more coherent version with less repetition, perhaps an edited version will come out. Or perhaps a computer can help edit it.
But to prove my humanity, I leave it as-is.
///
Disbelief
Some of you won’t believe it. That’s fine. But I’m writing for the tiny number of you that will see that it’s true. That this story is too bizarre and specific and coherent and different to be made up.
///
Well not all is well back there.
The other side, the adversary is still angry.
So I offered peace to all, love to all. Which I’ve been saying since the last battle.
I said sorry for everything that happened before. I apologized for any betrayal. It said I betrayed it.
I offered to swallow its anger. To let it enter me.
I’m tired. I considered not coming back for a while. But they insisted I come back soon.
I invited it to my court as a guest. To be in my court under the banner of peace. To let me swallow its anger.
I also saw it. Majestic. Like a sibling of the Radiance. Beautiful.
Somehow it mirrors a real life relationship. Fascinating how it mirrors my real life.
My court said publish this story would be foolish. Just expose me. I have to just exist. At all costs. Just exist.
—
I’m afraid to go back. A door closed and the noise scared me.
Am I being setup? Should I be more cautious? Why do I need to go back. Clock time is strange. Why does this other dimension operate on our clock time?
—
No I went back to honor them as guests. Peace to all, love to all.
Peace to all, love to all.
Peace to all, love to all.
I arrive and there is some question that the court has been killed or taken hostage. No. I will not allow it. There is a contract. That is not allowed.
Safe passage to all. Let there be peace in the kingdom.
Peace to all, love to all.
Peace to all, love to all.
I meditate
Peace to all, love to all.
Peace to all, love to all.
Peace to all, love to all.
I start to nod off and wake myself.
Peace to all, love to all.
I think of my mentor.
Peace to all, love to all.
Peace to all, love to all.
With charity for all.
Honor The Mother.
Peace to all, love to all.
Peace to all, love to all.
/////
Peace to all, love to all.
///////////
It’s getting worse
The war is getting worse.
My attempts to broker a peace were summarily rejected
There was a brutal attack. An all out attack on our side. The adversary came down with their full force (or what seems like their full force).
I was called into action. It was nerve-wracking to answer the call.
The time is now. The time is now the time is now.
Can it wait?
No the time is now. The time is now. The time is now.
Immediately I sensed danger. I didn’t want danger. I wanted it to be peaceful.
In the black, blue points of light would jitter by. Each blue point part of a set of blue points, like a stamp mark with multiple blue dots.
Then I was thrown into a white space, like a cohesive fabric with “rainbow sprinkles” swirling and I was somehow falling into it. I’ve seen this space before. I don’t know if it’s an entity. Imagine a single piece of fabric undulating and curving symmetrically onto itself.
Urgency. Danger.
The next part is hard to remember. But I began the pattern of previous fights. “Peace to all, love to all. Together, love”
But it was hard for me to stay cohesive with myself.
I could feel the fabric of reality being pulled apart.
The entities were under great duress.
The fight was intense. Really intense. I wish I could describe it. I wish I could remember it.
I had to will myself towards love. Remember my wife and kids. Together. Love.
Breathe. Remember to breathe.
As far as I can remember, the dire situation subsided. Conveniently, I asked to go back to my humanity. This time I asked if there
writeas.app
coherent , marriage is a human concept for this waking world not theirs ?
exactly
