I want to like DMT, but it feels so bad!

[Samadhi-Sukha-Upekkha]

kaleidoscope eyes, I am not at all offended by your remark. DMT is no doubt an insanely powerful substance, which commands respect and won't take "no" for an answer. That said, I had had the experience of my mind being shattered into pieces on my 4th breakthrough, when I accidentally smoked way more than my intended dose of 50mg and was in hyperspace for about 12 real-time minutes, compared to 4-5 minutes for a "normal" breakthrough. I had to put the pieces back together myself that night, but I found that experience to be overall quite helpful for me. Luckily, I was already working with (and still work with) Buddhist vipassana meditation which works extensively with dissolving the sense of self and deconstructing the mind's workings into its components, rather than seeing the mind as if it were a single entity. So while it definitely feels weird and momentarily uncomfortable to have the sense of self shattered, it has given me very beneficial results.

With that in mind, I will definitely take your advice to be careful with something so powerful, and if I stop getting beneficial results from it or start getting seriously detrimental results, then I'll simply stop using it.

gibran2, assuming that Flowing Visions stays in business, I may look into THH. I've always heard such positive things about it, though it does seem expensive.

With regards to the smoking device, the Cure is the most effective device I've found yet, requiring lower doses than the sandwich method in a bong and much lower doses than smoking changa in a regular pipe. However, at some point in the future I plan to get a GVG when I can afford it. Unlike bongs or pipes, the Cure doesn't seem to combust any of the DMT -- it vapes pretty cleanly, and I can barely taste it.

 

[Dorge]

it too years for swim to go through the type of healing, dismemberment and then ego restructuring it takes to be one that haves a "nice" experience... as an adult it still rarely happens but one stops placing a value judgment upon them as being either good or bad... and starts seeing them as productive and amazing learning experiences... welcome to the great process... its never going to be easy.

 

[kaleidoscope eyes]

kaleidoscope eyes, I am not at all offended by your remark. DMT is no doubt an insanely powerful substance, which commands respect and won't take "no" for an answer. That said, I had had the experience of my mind being shattered into pieces on my 4th breakthrough, when I accidentally smoked way more than my intended dose of 50mg and was in hyperspace for about 12 real-time minutes, compared to 4-5 minutes for a "normal" breakthrough. I had to put the pieces back together myself that night, but I found that experience to be overall quite helpful for me. Luckily, I was already working with (and still work with) Buddhist vipassana meditation which works extensively with dissolving the sense of self and deconstructing the mind's workings into its components, rather than seeing the mind as if it were a single entity. So while it definitely feels weird and momentarily uncomfortable to have the sense of self shattered, it has given me very beneficial results.

With that in mind, I will definitely take your advice to be careful with something so powerful, and if I stop getting beneficial results from it or start getting seriously detrimental results, then I'll simply stop using it.

I'm glad to hear that it has still had beneficial outcomes for you & that you made it through that experience with new insight. I haven't heard of vipassana meditation before, it sounds really interesting- I'll definitely have to do some research on it. I haven't delved very far with meditation practices/philosophy but am very keen to learn more about it, as that in particular sounds like it would be very helpful for my hyperspace traveling and for my psychoactive experiences in general.

Thanks for your response, it eased my concerns a lot as you seem to have a very respectful attitude towards the spice =)

 

[shoe]

Has everyone here experienced mental suffering at a sub-breakthrough dose? The common advice here is to push through the horrid anxiety, bodyload, and misery and go for the actual breakthrough and then you're supposed to be fine. Great! That works for most people. But for me, that feeling doesn't go away in hyperspace. It just results in unpleasant hyperspace. The "entities," if you really want to use that term (I don't find it a good match for what I experience, but it's less inaccurate than many other terms), aren't nice. They treat me like a drunk idiot. The kinder ones are merely smug and superior while they try to assure me that I'll be feeling better soon, whereas the less kind ones laugh or jeer.

Try this:
You should try to love that fear, not just push through it; you actually have to look at it and say "that's fine."
see it for what it is, and enjoy it and know it is in its place, doing its thing (which is fine).

Focus ENTIRELY on the good feeling -you have it in every moment- yet don't push the fear away because it is holding your attention then, also. just notice it and focus on the feeling that you want to have.

Fill yourself with love and focus only on that. I mean literally just invent the highest state of love you can feel and then say I FEEL THAT, and imagine how it feels and feel it right now. The universe is based around this "I am" principle, and these laws work especially well in hyperspace.

Then let the DMT do its thing; the feeling will be magnified and amplified and resonated -
Pretty soon you'll be experiencing some cosmic version of the love you brought to the table in the first place. Think of it like a mirror, what you bring, you get.

Or if it helps, entrust HEB's to look after you. Ask questions personal to you, You should have some intention. Say prayers of thanks (and be genuinely thankful) for your safe passage.

I hope this helps you to have beautiful and magical experiences,
Namasté



@Kalideoscope: Meditation brother, definitely.

@Felnik: As far as I can tell, you're the only one actually giving good advice on how and what for this guy to do. Everyone else is just running their own personal agenda for some reason.

 

[Bill Cipher]

I like that, shoe. Sage advice for sure.

 

[DMTripper]

This happens even though I can't identify any particular psychological issues,

You mention your psychological state quite often in your post but you never mention you physical health. What shape is your body in?
I feel I need to be in a good physical shape and eat healthy to enjoy hyperspace.

Mind and body, mind and body!

 

[Samadhi-Sukha-Upekkha]

Thanks everyone for further advice here.

kaleidoscope eyes, if you're interested in learning about vipassana meditation, I can recommend a few resources that I think are quite excellent. On the progress-as-fast-as-possible side, we have Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha. This book is completely devoted to the technical and practical aspects of insight and concentration meditations, done with clear goals in mind, and only delving into theory (never dogma) when it's relevant to the actual practice.

Coming from a similar perspective but with a higher focus on tranquility and less of a focus on intensely energetic practice is Kenneth Folk's instructions on vipassana practice. This guy's advice is also great, though the two authors don't entirely agree on some aspects of meditation. What's clear is that either approach works, despite the differences. All of the information on his website under the heading "1st gear" in the navigation menu relates to concentration and insight meditation.

From the standpoint of Theravada Buddhist religion and dogma, Practical Insight Meditation by the insight master Mahasi Sayadaw is one of the best. The instructions are as effective as the ones found in MCTB or at Kenneth's website, but I personally find Practical Insight Meditation deeply steeped in the Buddhist religion and therefore difficult to understand if one isn't fluent with the doctrine.

Back to DMT, I particularly like your advice, shoe! I don't know why on earth I hadn't thought of it myself, as I use the approach of cultivating love/compassion whenever I'm having a miserable time during meditation, and in fact the cultivation of love/compassion before I meditate will generally prevent the miserable time from happening in the first place.

I'm thinking I can try a period of lovingkindness meditation before DMT. In fact, if I can cultivate lovingkindness AND equanimity, that should be the optimal mix. Cultivating equanimity and mindfulness before blasting off has given good results before, though it does tend to make me go through the stages of insight meditation during trips. That can really suck if I end up tripping in an unpleasant stage! But lovingkindness and equanimity are the keys to getting through those experiences in meditation, and I don't see why DMT should be particularly different in that regard.

As for bodily health... I need to eat lots more food, and this habit I've just recently developed of getting fast food once or twice a day needs to go. I never used to eat fast food at all... Anyway, I'll probably live a long time because of my low calorie intake, but it isn't all fun and games to have such a small stomach! Aside from lacking middle- and upper-body strength and muscle mass, my body works pretty well. Perhaps an exercise routine would go a long way in improving general health, and I could see that having an effect on hyperspace experiences. DMT, it seems, forces you to face whatever is going on by turning up the gain on all your senses. If the body feels bad, you feel bad!