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I'm too scared to go beyond

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3sixty

3sixty

Rising Star
Hi,

my problem is really quite simple - I'm scared to find out what DMT wants to show me. In past years I've experienced indescribable insanity with salvia, profound realization with LSD, strong urge to call ambulance when I "overdosed" on cannabrownies and much more more or less enriching experiences.
But still, after one year, DMT still sits in my drawer.

Right now I'm at the crossroad of my life. I can make a few equally good but totally different decisions without knowing what would be best in the long run. Again... life seems like a roll of dice.
I had the idea in my head of asking a DMT for some sort of hint for a long time. This morning I finally decided to at least try get my feet wet in order to overcome my fear of unknown.
I took a hit slightly larger then I wanted and almost instantly felt ABSOLUTELY overwhelming sensation that somebody wants me to follow her (I sensed femininity). I felt that the person deeply wants to help me... actually so much that it scared me and I felt her (not mine) sadness as she just lost me.

Everything about it was pleasant and I would even say reassuring and that might be a problem. I'm not scared of salvia because it's just pure madness but this felt so right, so real, so perfect... even though I read a dozens of trip reports I can't possibly imagine what real breakthrough must be like.

So I would like to ask you what would you do in my place? I'm thinking about loading +100mg so there would be no way back...
 
3sixty said:
So I would like to ask you what would you do in my place? I'm thinking about loading +100mg so there would be no way back...
Click to expand...

Well if you vaporize that, I can almost guarantee your fear is justified.

Why not vaporize 15-20mg first and see if it feels like something to fear? Then if you feel ok with it you can try 25-35mg. But for the first time 100mg, or even 50mg sounds totally insane.

If you got anxious with you getting your feet wet, maybe then it's just not for you, as it's obvious, it isn't everybodys cup o tea.

House: Why do you think 50mg is good starter dose? Isn't it much more sensible to start low and increase from there? Because the intensity of 50mg, especially if one is anxious about it prior to taking, can be too much for first timer.
 
I'm vaping it with grass so when I said load 100mg I didn't meant that I would smoke it all as well. I'm using vaporgenie and it takes some time.
But even so I can see that it would be an overkill - thanks for advice.
 
I felt that the person deeply wants to help me... actually so much that it scared me and I felt her (not mine) sadness as she just lost me.
Click to expand...

This is very common and it helps you to build more confidence over time. I would not try to force anything at all. I would continue to smoke regularly, while increasing your dose. There is no reason you can't go in for another experience after you returned. Just be comfortable with your body and thoughts, try to listen, to feel the experience. With enough patience and determination, things are bound to get interesting.

For now, i would not focus so much on dosage. Load up your VG and experiment.
 
3sixty said:
I'm vaping it with grass so when I said load 100mg I didn't meant that I would smoke it all as well. I'm using vaporgenie and it takes some time.
But even so I can see that it would be an overkill - thanks for advice.
Click to expand...

Grass(I refer to cannabis) for some might cause adverse effects, such as oversensitivity and paranoia, and altering the experience in general. I would recommend buying some copper mesh screen and smoking the DMT by itself, then a single inhalation of 20-30mg would be nice as a starter to get into the experience.
 
tele said:
3sixty said:
I'm vaping it with grass so when I said load 100mg I didn't meant that I would smoke it all as well. I'm using vaporgenie and it takes some time.
But even so I can see that it would be an overkill - thanks for advice.
Click to expand...

Grass(I refer to cannabis) for some might cause adverse effects, such as oversensitivity and paranoia, and altering the experience in general. I would recommend buying some copper mesh screen and smoking the DMT by itself, then a single inhalation of 20-30mg would be nice as a starter to get into the experience.
Click to expand...
I love herb with just about everything - except DMT. My best experiences are with a clear mind having done some sort of ritual. For me, it's something like cleaning my space - lighting a candle or three - run a nice hot epsom salt bath - lay in the water clear my mind - dry off - go under the sheets - and into hyperspace.

Don't fear. There's nothing there but you.
 
Hmmm... Interesting.

I would still like to smoke it out of VaporGenie though. I'm really comfortable with it. I just need to add something at the bottom of a bowl so it won't drop down. I'm thinking about used (vaped) cannabis if you say that they normally don't go well together.
 
I wouldnt suggest going for 50mg or upwards- if your vaporisation techniques is correct then 50mg, with your apparent hesitancy, could well cause an existential crisis.Doses at this level are very heavy indeed and I reckon should only be undertaken with an appreciation on board of the lower doses.I think 20-30mg maximum to start with would be adequate.

There really is no rush, and big doses (like 50mg in 1 breath) may well leave you traumatised and put you off exploring DMT further.

Maybe later, you can work up to find your sweet-spot/limit.50.2mg is the most Ive taken in one blast and believe you me, unless you can totally go with the experience, it will twist your mind in a potentially undesired fashion.But if you can surrender to it, it will do things beyond your wildest imaginings.:shock: :shock: :lol:

And I agree with Melodic extolling the virtues of a metal disc in the GVG-IME this is the way forward without doubt for freebase DMT.
 
Oh thanks, I get it now. I've imagined something completely different and didn't bother searching further after that - my bad. Tomorrow I'm gonna buy a pot scrubber.
Actually I'm probably the only one I know who knows every home supply and hardware store in town :D

Thank you guys for all your advice. All that useful information helped me fell more relaxed about it. I'm making Saturday my D-Day.

And by the way is your body shut off during trip or is there any significant movement? + how rare are negative aftereffects? I've heard about nausea...
 
tele said:
Grass(I refer to cannabis) for some might cause adverse effects, such as oversensitivity and paranoia, and altering the experience in general. I would recommend buying some copper mesh screen and smoking the DMT by itself, then a single inhalation of 20-30mg would be nice as a starter to get into the experience.
Click to expand...

I concur. Weed for me dulls and dumbs down the experience considerably. If you want to use an herb bed, try something inert (peppermint or mullein, maybe), or something that will alter the experience without distracting you from it (personally, I like blue lotus) - but I'm a big proponent of the copper disc method, especially as you're honing your technique.

Don't worry about your body at all. This is very different from salvia. You'll leave it somewhere far behind you, and when you return, it should be right there where you left it. And assuming your spice is right, nausea afterwards shouldn't be an issue - although reactions do seem to differ.

My advice is to work your way up GRADUALLY, focusing on technique. Get a good, strong jet lighter and turn it up high. Even 10mgs will pack a punch if you vaporize it perfectly. Get it down correctly at each dosage level and by the time you get up to 50mgs (or even 30mgs), you'll be deeper than you can possibly imagine.
 
3sixty,

I agree with the folks here who say don't push it too much, learn to take it where you can adapt and be comfortable. I've had spice in a drawer for months also, almost a year, and only smoked a bit here and there. But each time my understanding of myself and the molecule is increased. I'm a nervous anxious paranoid fool, so with that kinda coloring I don't want to dive too deep into mine/gods mind.

It's been some months since I've taken a serious or strong hit, just a couple small tokes for meditation, music, getting used to the low level body high. I'm soon going to do some caapi and aya rounds, slowly building up the light. I might take some mdma and push the spice a little further. I'm salvia traumatized, lol,fear of losing my body.

But it's funny, I know what you mean about a feminine helper, there for you before you even breakthrough. My last big had similar feelings.
 
Get some acetone for the copper mesh, when you have formed the disc(make it perfect fit, not tight, not loose in the bowl), then soak the mesh in acetone and let evaporate(about 3 hours), that way it will remove any oil from the processing at the factory.

About the body sensations: Sometimes it's left behind, sometimes even at high doses you can feel the bodyload quite strongly, for me the last is more common. The bodyload I think, is part of the experience, and for me strenghtens my core, it's good to observe it and not fight it, then it can become even enjoyable.
However the bodyload differs each time I blast, sometimes it's sort of heavy and sometimes very pleasant/loving. Often however I get tension at the shoulders, which is not surprising considering the intensity of the experience.

After exploring the spice I can say, at first one can fear it, but later on even after hard experiences, one can easily absolutely LOVE it.

Report back from your journey if you don't mind. I would recommend blasting off without thinking what you are smoking, in neutral thoughts that is. Peace and good luck
 
3sixty said:
Hi,

my problem is really quite simple - I'm scared to find out what DMT wants to show me. In past years I've experienced indescribable insanity with salvia, profound realization with LSD, strong urge to call ambulance when I "overdosed" on cannabrownies and much more more or less enriching experiences.
But still, after one year, DMT still sits in my drawer.

Right now I'm at the crossroad of my life. I can make a few equally good but totally different decisions without knowing what would be best in the long run. Again... life seems like a roll of dice.
I had the idea in my head of asking a DMT for some sort of hint for a long time. This morning I finally decided to at least try get my feet wet in order to overcome my fear of unknown.
I took a hit slightly larger then I wanted and almost instantly felt ABSOLUTELY overwhelming sensation that somebody wants me to follow her (I sensed femininity). I felt that the person deeply wants to help me... actually so much that it scared me and I felt her (not mine) sadness as she just lost me.

Everything about it was pleasant and I would even say reassuring and that might be a problem. I'm not scared of salvia because it's just pure madness but this felt so right, so real, so perfect... even though I read a dozens of trip reports I can't possibly imagine what real breakthrough must be like.

So I would like to ask you what would you do in my place? I'm thinking about loading +100mg so there would be no way back...
Click to expand...
I felt compelled to comment on this, I too felt the female presence my first two(pre-breakthrough) trips, and felt her on all subsequent trips as well. When you decide you are ready to breakthrough you may feel multiple presences, including hers, wrapping their arms around you and pulling you through, just remember to let go of your conscious feelings and let her take you in. My first breakthrough, I too was scared getting the feeling that it was too much, but when my attitude changed to "bring it on" I was overwhelmed by that realm. That first breakthrough, is like no other experience I've had, drug-induced or otherwise. Once you enter that realm you will be glad you did, and just utterly amazed at what it has to show you. You will think really hard about life and what reality is in the next hour.
As for your method, I don't know about vaporgenie, I like to load my spice on top of some smokable material, and just dance the lighter on it. I usually pack 100 mg for a blast off trip that way I can smoke until I know its enough, two big hits should do, 3 if you can manage would be McKenna's advice. Just remember with this method, their may be some left in the pipe later if you couldn't finish, I never smoke the entire 100 mg, there is usually enough for a second trip that night, if the first was enough, give it to a friend, I did that both of my breakthrough trips.
Either way, good luck
 
^That's why vaporgenie is a must for me, you can inhale single 30mg dose in one inhalation and reach breakthrough, the vapor is very smooth and it's healthier than smoke. Investing some money in vaporgenie or glass VG is the best thing a serious DMT(or even cannabis) fan can do.
 
tele said:
^That's why vaporgenie is a must for me, you can inhale single 30mg dose in one inhalation and reach breakthrough, the vapor is very smooth and it's healthier than smoke. Investing some money in vaporgenie or glass VG is the best thing a serious DMT(or even cannabis) fan can do.
Click to expand...

30 mg is all I need for breakthrough - one hit carefully lit in my bong. Although I have smoked some changa hits which I suspect were more like 40, and really pushed my limits. Helped me realise a healthy respect for the Spice, I am going to go for 40 weighed soon and see how that compares... *gulp* :shock: :d :surprised :lol:
 
Don't worry guys I won't over do it. I'm gonna do what you advised to me and only peek behind the first door. Today I was halfway there (don't mean intensity but how close I was to the breakthrough) and I have good idea what would be an ideal amount to go all the way.

Lavos: Haha, I know what you mean about salvia. Thought I always fear that I'm gonna lose my mind - I mean literary become insane :D

Thank you for advice on copper mesh tele. You can be sure that I'm gonna share my expediencies.
 
I think everybody should at least go all the way with DMT at least once in their lives.
Just keep smoking until you can't smoke anymore. :)
 
Hi guys and sorry for not writing earlier but time's a bitch.
I thought that my dirty yellow DMT will be alright but it isn't. All I can taste is the solvent and my head hurts real bad afterwards (in the morning). Because of this I wasn't able to relax and achieve breakthrough.
I'm going to recrystallize it today and hopefully things will go smoother after it.
 
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